Quote Originally Posted by piece-it pete
John,

I find like many others that the holidays can be a heart-wrenching time.

You feel alone. Kel misses his SO. I miss my mother, more than that, my home.

I remember a top 40 song I heard a couple of times, back maybe 10 years ago. It was one of those self-affirming things that usually quite frankly turn my stomach set to music. It said a few things that hit home. At the time I just found out that we (me & SO) would not be having children. I have a stepdaughter I met at 10 yrs. old & now a grandaughter! but none of my own seed - I was bummed then & still sometimes now.

This song says a number of things we know but don't think about. Some will marry, some won't. Some will have kids, some won't. Some will live long, some won't. Some will be rich, some (most?) won't.

The key is that it is normal. It's not a defect on our part, or punishment. It is part of the life laid out for us, our training for the future. Seems a small consolation for the pain of now, but there it is.

You are probably doing at least OK, or you wouldn't be worried about your HT. 30 isn't old. I'd say you've got plenty of time. There is a ton of women waiting to bump into you. I'd tell your current girlfriend how you feel & what you think. Be direct. Base your future actions on what she tells you, and what her actions say. It sounds funny, but grocery stores are a great place to bump into someone - just don't be buying a grocery cart full of beer & porno mags !

And, please don't take this wrong, but pray. Talking to God is good for you, and he may answer you.

Church is a great place to find the kind of woman you're looking for, and it's a low-pressure enviroment, where "most" people are friendly, and caring, and easy to talk to. Just be careful not to hook up with a cult. I could not have survived the losses I have recently without my faith in God. I often wonder how other people do.

Good Luck, John. I'll pray for you tonight, along with you, Kel, & your SO, and my own family.

Pete
To bring a little light back on the thread, I offer some of you lonely souls a piece of my world. I've been married going on 20 years five kids ranging from my oldest 18 in college 13yr middle school 12yr middle school 6yr 2nd grade and the 3year old. My wife and were very happy with the first 3 the last two were a surprise ( I could tell you the day they were concived) we were not trying to have any more, but I would not trade them away for nothing. Now I go to work to relax and come home to stress.

The 3 younger one are girls and they fight all the time. I'll be happy to loan you lonly guys out there the two smaller ones (a week at a time) and I'm sure after that week you will appreciate your space and time you have to yourself. The Holidays are nice, but its the everday stuff that wears on you....Stop touching me, you touched me first, Get out of my room, where's mommie, I want to go with you (just going to use the restroom). Buy for 1 you buy for all or you will hear for the next week. Just to keep my HT in good shape I have to spend $ on TV's and other gear to keep them away from it. Being married and Family life is great, but be careful what you ask for.