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  1. #1
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    THE YEAR ' S BEST (actual) HEADLINES

    Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    (You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?)


    Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    (No, really?)

    Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    (Now that's taking things a bit far!)

    Panda Mating Fails;
    Veterinarian Takes Over
    (What a guy!)

    Miners Refuse to Work
    after Death
    (Those good-for-nothing ' lazy so-and-sos!)

    Juvenile Court to Try
    Shooting Defendant
    (See if that works any better than a fair trial!)

    War Dims Hope for Peace
    (I can see where it might have that effect!)

    If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    (Ya think?!)

    Cold Wave Linked to
    Temperatures
    (Who would have thought!)

    EnfieldCouple Slain;
    PoliceSuspect Homicide
    (They may be on to something!)

    Man Struck By Lightning:
    Faces BatteryCharge
    (He probably IS the battery charge!)

    New Study of Obesity Looks for
    Larger Test Group
    (Weren't they fat enough?!)

    Astronaut Takes Blame for
    Gas in Spacecraft
    (That's what he gets for eating those beans!)
    (Who else could it have been?)

    Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    (Do they taste like chicken?)

    Local High SchoolDropouts Cut in Half
    (Chainsaw Massacre all over again!)

    Hospitals are Sued by
    7 Foot Doctors
    (Boy, are they tall!)

    And the winner is....

    Typhoon Rips Through
    Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    (Did I read that right?)
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  2. #2
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    I'm not much for ad hominems, but...

    From the Daily Mirror (Britain): "How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?"

  3. #3
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auricauricle
    I'm not much for ad hominems, but...

    From the Daily Mirror (Britain): "How can 59,054,087 people be so DUMB?"



    I have that cover when Bush was elected for a second time. A friend from Manchester sent it to me. I periodically pull it out and ask the same question.
    JohnMichael
    Vinyl Rega Planar 2, Incognito rewire, Deepgroove subplatter, ceramic bearing, Michell Technoweight, Rega 24V motor, TTPSU, FunkFirm Achroplat platter, Michael Lim top and bottom braces, 2 Rega feet and one RDC cones. Grado Sonata, Moon 110 LP phono.
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  4. #4
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Anyway to scan and post it? Something I'd like on the wall. Sometimes there's just not enough salt...

  5. #5
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auricauricle
    Anyway to scan and post it? Something I'd like on the wall. Sometimes there's just not enough salt...




    You are asking the man with Windows 98 and dial-up? I will see what I can do.
    JohnMichael
    Vinyl Rega Planar 2, Incognito rewire, Deepgroove subplatter, ceramic bearing, Michell Technoweight, Rega 24V motor, TTPSU, FunkFirm Achroplat platter, Michael Lim top and bottom braces, 2 Rega feet and one RDC cones. Grado Sonata, Moon 110 LP phono.
    Digital
    Sony SCD-XA5400ES SACD/cd SID mat, Marantz SA 8001
    Int. Amp Krell S-300i
    Speaker
    Monitor Audio RS6
    Cables
    AQ SPKR and AQ XLR and IC

  6. #6
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Any which way. Thanks so much....Now, to find some good darts....

  7. #7
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Those are good GM. I may use some of them in our next newsletter. I don't suppose that you have a reference of where they were printed (assuming that they're actually real).

  8. #8
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    Those are good GM. I may use some of them in our next newsletter. I don't suppose that you have a reference of where they were printed (assuming that they're actually real).
    I don't. It was just one of those office emails going around. No idea if these are real or not. But they are funny.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  9. #9
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Then there was the renowned mathematician with the intractible case of constipation...


    ...Said he worked it out with a pencil....


    "Somebody stop me!"

  10. #10
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Was that pencil sharpened?

    I've always wondered about people who go for those hot coffee enemas. Do they take cream and sugar with those or just black.
    Piping hot?!
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  11. #11
    nightflier
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    Was that pencil sharpened?

    I've always wondered about people who go for those hot coffee enemas. Do they take cream and sugar with those or just black.
    Piping hot?!
    No but I hear the coffee should be stiff & woody, maybe nutty, but definitely not buttery.

    (hey, don't look at me, blame the coffee snobs!)

  12. #12
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nightflier
    No but I hear the coffee should be stiff & woody, maybe nutty, but definitely not buttery.

    (hey, don't look at me, blame the coffee snobs!)
    Sounds like a bad chardonnay...

  13. #13
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Don't mean to whine; this is gettining ass-inine!

  14. #14
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auricauricle
    Then there was the renowned mathematician with the intractible case of constipation...


    ...Said he worked it out with a pencil....


    "Somebody stop me!"
    LMAO. You see, it's stuff like this that keeps me coming back to this place.

    I know. I know. I'm SICK.

  15. #15
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    I see your point....

  16. #16
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    Awesome, lol

  17. #17
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Well, better get the lead out....

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