Strange News for Strange Times

[Auricauricle]

I'm starting a thread here that will be used to bring readers' attention to odd and rather bizarre stories read in the newspaper or heard on the radio.

To start, I will share highlights of an article read today in the New York Times, whose hallowed pages told the story, today, of America's fascination with toilet paper. According to the report, Americans--unlike their less fussy cousins in Europe and elsewhere--like their TP soft. All well and good, except for the fact that the manufacture of soft TP involves pulp products obtained from freshly felled timber. This results in a significant production of carbon dioxide production, the major culprit of the Greenhouse Gas situation. Greenpeace (and I think other groups) have voiced their dismay over the situation, and have vowed to do their part to bring Americans' attention to the problem with a planned campaign to highlight the problem....

Holy Rollers, Batman!

In the meantime I, for one, will stock up on the soft-stuff...My butt deserves it!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/26/sc...rmin.html?_r=1

[Groundbeef]

Damn straight. You don't grow up in the worlds' last superpower to have a soar ass. Look how uptight the Europeans are. It's all related.

[dean_martin]

A professor of English Literature once told me that Dr. Samuel Johnson, for whom the Age of Johnson is named, would have a heart attack if he knew of our insistence on soft toilet paper to wipe our collective ass.

[nightflier]

GB, I would guess that our European neighbors would contend that we're the ones who are uptight about this, and a whole lot of other things too. In addition, I read a while back that Americans only go No.2 twice a week on average, hence supporting the claim that we are, as a nation, pretty tightly wound up. This could explain a whole lot, methinks.

Auric, I suppose the article conveniently omitted any reference to how the release of methane gas also contributes to the greenhouse effect. Given that those snooty Europeans are probably more frequent visitors to the porcelain stool, that should offset this haughty attitude on the matter, I would hope.

[Mr Peabody]

Cowboys walking bow legged wasn't only from riding horses. Tender places need tender care. If I can't have soft paper then next best thing would be a buddei.

[ForeverAutumn]

Ryanair chief defends on-board toilet charge

MADRID (AFP) - The head of Irish budget airline Ryanair Tuesday defended his plan to charge passengers to use on-board toilets, saying it would lead to "less passenger inconvenience" during flights.

Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O'Leary revealed last month the carrier was looking at the possibility of installing toilet doors in its planes which would only open with the insertion of a one pound coin (1.10 euros, 1.40 dollars).

"In our discussions with (aircraft maker) Boeing they haven't yet been able to manufacture a toilet door that will take coins in it," he told a news conference in Madrid Tuesday.

"But I think it's a logical development, if you use the toilet for example in train stations in England you pay to use the toilets. I don't see any reason why people on board an aircraft wouldn't pay to use the toilet."

He said the on-board charge would mean more passengers would use the toilets at airports, and would lead to "less passenger inconvenience on board the aircraft."

"We will charge for every possible thing we can think to charge for, but it will always be the passengers' choice whether they pay it or don't pay it," he said.

O'Leary said the company is now running an online competition to see what else the carrier can charge for on board.

"The suggestion I like best so far is a passenger in Sweden who has suggested that we should produce rolls of toilet paper with my picture on it."

[Auricauricle]

Unbelievable!

Couldn't they be content that passengers will gladly leave a pound once they are seated?

[ForeverAutumn]

Unbelievable!

Couldn't they be content that passengers will gladly leave a pound once they are seated?

I'm thinking that people will find a new use for those little white barf bags.

[Mr Peabody]

They'd make a fortune on flights back from Mexico, you know, don't drink the water

I was flying from Little Rock to St. Louis some years ago and was at the airport early. I was with another guy who was taking a different flight so we decided to sit in the bar for a while and have a beer. It was only a 45 minute flight, supposedly. So I had another on the plane. Beer tends to make me need the facility frequently. We got over St. Louis, the seat belt sign was on, I already have to go but instead of landing the plane begins to circle, and circle, he's beginning to be in pain, and circle. Needless to say when the door to the plane opened I was out and hastily looking for the facility. Sorry, something about this thread just made me think of that and I'm in a sharing mood.

I think a big money maker would be renting flotation devices. Or, how about this one, shut off the ventilation and charge to use the oxygen mask. Don't forget your roll of quarters or learn to hold your breath for long periods of time.

Oh, here you go, put free hookers on the plane. What a sales thrust that would cause but the money maker is charging for the privacy. You could even raise ticket prices a bit.

[Luvin Da Blues]

..... put free hookers on the plane.....

Does not compute, memory overload...memory overload...memory overload...


Won't that just make her a slut???

[Mr Peabody]

NO, she'd get paid by the airline, just free to the customer. Then she could have benefits too. Like health insurance and 401k, win win, right?

[Luvin Da Blues]

NO, she'd get paid by the airline, just free to the customer. Then she could have benefits too. Like health insurance and 401k, win win, right?

Well then, if you put it that way. Sign me up. I've always figured that the day I have to pay for "it" is the day I quit.

[Rich-n-Texas]

...Oh, here you go, put free hookers on the plane. What a sales thrust that would cause but the money maker is charging for the privacy. You could even raise ticket prices a bit.

I got those little plays on words there buddy.

[audio amateur]

In addition, I read a while back that Americans only go No.2 twice a week on average, hence supporting the claim that we are, as a nation, pretty tightly wound up. This could explain a whole lot, methinks.

TWICE a week?? huh, I go twice a day
Oh, and I'm not too fussy about the paper, as long as there's enough and it ain't like paper

[Rich-n-Texas]

Twice a week on average? Not a chance, especially not when on a high fiber diet. Being "regular" means at least once-a-day IMO.

[audio amateur]

Twice a week on average? Not a chance, especially not when on a high fiber diet. Being "regular" means at least once-a-day IMO.

Depends on your metabolism, some people's 'regular' is twice a week, other's is twice a day (like me ) but I do highly doubt the American average is twice a week, more like once every couple days I would think.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Man I'd have soooo much extra time for music listening if I was a "twice a week" regular.

[Luvin Da Blues]

Now how did we get here from there??

[audio amateur]

It's what happens when you have toilet minded people

[Rich-n-Texas]

Flyboy started it. Typical potty mouth.

[GMichael]

Man I'd have soooo much extra time for music listening if I was a "twice a week" regular.

You haven't put speakers in there yet? That external amp you have freed up several amps/channels in the receiver that you could use in additional rooms.

[nightflier]

Flyboy started it. Typical potty mouth.

Speaking of going #2, in the "underdevelopped world" people go after every meal (if they have a decent diet). Apparently, proctologists and doctors who specialize in this "field" say that after every meal is probably the healthiest. Don't ask me how I know this stuff - probably from reading Reader's Digest for 20 years...

"A million to one, doc, a million to one!"

[Auricauricle]

Readers Digest!

Alimentary, my dear Watson!

[Mr Peabody]

Man I'd have soooo much extra time for music listening if I was a "twice a week" regular.

Well damn Rich, how much time do you spend on the throne? To be that much of a burden things must move really slow or you have a revolving door up. Either way, maybe look into a good pair of wireless headphones.

NF, some food takes days to get through your system, especially beef, if some one went right after eating they must have a medical problem. Either that or be solidly packed from stem to stern so that the new pushes out the oldest.

By the way what's a good anti-virus? I was using Norton but it expired. I am trying a 30 day trial of Bitdefender and my system runs a bit faster with the Norton gone.

[audio amateur]

AVG is free, and it has worked fine so far.