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  1. #1
    Stainmaster Finch Platte's Avatar
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    Help me remember an old fart.

    This was a while back, but one day I was driving around and I let a suhweeeet one rip- a slider-type that just stunk to high heaven. Lasted for several minutes, too, the stench did. A true classic, one that will go down in the fp anals (ha!), hence, the post.

  2. #2
    Vinyl Fundamentalist Forums Moderator poppachubby's Avatar
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    While I am endlessly intruigued by the movement of your bowels, I think this one might be better served in OT Finchdoggy.

  3. #3
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by poppachubby
    While I am endlessly intruigued by the movement of your bowels, I think this one might be better served in OT Finchdoggy.
    Unless, of course, the stench reminded ol' Elf Pee of some of his past comps. Then it would make total sense that he would want to post about it in Rave Wrecks.

  4. #4
    Swing rakeford's Avatar
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    Here's the only thing I learned in High School. The oldest fart I know of.

    The Miller's Tale
    by Geoffrey Chaucer (circa 1390)

    ...
    Nicholas had gotten up to piss
    And thought he would surpass the joke;
    Absolon would kiss his arse before he left.
    He opened the window quickly,
    And put out his arse secretly
    Over the buttock to the thigh bone;
    Then said the clerk Absolon,
    "Speak, sweet bird, I know not where you are."


    Nicholas then let fly a fart
    As great as if it had been a thunder clap,
    That with the stroke Absolon was almost blinded;
    But he was ready with his hot iron
    And hit Nicholas right on the arse.
    Off went about a hand's breadth of skin,
    The hot coulter so burned his butt,
    And he thought he would die of the pain.

    ...
    Philips GA312/ Stanton 681EEE/ Jico D6800EEE-S Shibata ===>>|
    Yamaha DVD-S2700 CD/SACD/DVD >> MONSTER STANDARD THX i100 >>|
    Yamaha CDC-765 CD 5 disc >>==== MONSTER STANDARD THX i100 >>|
    JVC TD-W709 Cassette >>======== MONSTER STANDARD THX i100 >>|
    Yamaha RX-797 Receiver -------------------------------------+
    Sennheiser HD650 Head phones <<===========================<<|
    Klipsch RF-7 <<L############### MONSTER MSERIES MCX-2S ##L<<|
    Klipsch RF-7 <<R############### MONSTER MSERIES MCX-2S ##R<<|

  5. #5
    Forum Regular
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    Repeat 3 times aloud and as fast as you can:

    I'm a smart fellow fellow smart

  6. #6
    Sgt. At Arms Worf101's Avatar
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    Hey!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by rakeford
    Here's the only thing I learned in High School. The oldest fart I know of.

    The Miller's Tale
    by Geoffrey Chaucer (circa 1390)

    ...
    Nicholas had gotten up to piss
    And thought he would surpass the joke;
    Absolon would kiss his arse before he left.
    He opened the window quickly,
    And put out his arse secretly
    Over the buttock to the thigh bone;
    Then said the clerk Absolon,
    "Speak, sweet bird, I know not where you are."


    Nicholas then let fly a fart
    As great as if it had been a thunder clap,
    That with the stroke Absolon was almost blinded;
    But he was ready with his hot iron
    And hit Nicholas right on the arse.
    Off went about a hand's breadth of skin,
    The hot coulter so burned his butt,
    And he thought he would die of the pain.

    ...
    Who knew AR members could read???!!!!!

    Not exactly the Old English spoken on my side of town but I'll bite!!!!

    Worf

  7. #7
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Worf101
    but I'll bite!!!!

    Worf
    Are you sure you want to say that in a thread about farts?

  8. #8
    Swing rakeford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Worf101
    Who knew AR members could read???!!!!!

    Not exactly the Old English spoken on my side of town but I'll bite!!!!

    Worf
    Actually, I can't read. I just google it!
    Philips GA312/ Stanton 681EEE/ Jico D6800EEE-S Shibata ===>>|
    Yamaha DVD-S2700 CD/SACD/DVD >> MONSTER STANDARD THX i100 >>|
    Yamaha CDC-765 CD 5 disc >>==== MONSTER STANDARD THX i100 >>|
    JVC TD-W709 Cassette >>======== MONSTER STANDARD THX i100 >>|
    Yamaha RX-797 Receiver -------------------------------------+
    Sennheiser HD650 Head phones <<===========================<<|
    Klipsch RF-7 <<L############### MONSTER MSERIES MCX-2S ##L<<|
    Klipsch RF-7 <<R############### MONSTER MSERIES MCX-2S ##R<<|

  9. #9
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rakeford
    Here's the only thing I learned in High School. The oldest fart I know of.

    The Miller's Tale
    by Geoffrey Chaucer (circa 1390)

    ...
    Nicholas had gotten up to piss
    And thought he would surpass the joke;
    Absolon would kiss his arse before he left.
    He opened the window quickly,
    And put out his arse secretly
    Over the buttock to the thigh bone;
    Then said the clerk Absolon,
    "Speak, sweet bird, I know not where you are."


    Nicholas then let fly a fart
    As great as if it had been a thunder clap,
    That with the stroke Absolon was almost blinded;
    But he was ready with his hot iron
    And hit Nicholas right on the arse.
    Off went about a hand's breadth of skin,
    The hot coulter so burned his butt,
    And he thought he would die of the pain.

    ...

    Sic transit gloria mundi, as it were...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  10. #10
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    Unless, of course, the stench reminded ol' Elf Pee of some of his past comps. Then it would make total sense that he would want to post about it in Rave Wrecks.
    Rave Wrecks? How clever mademoiselle, though not entirely fair. I still listen on a daily basis to that comp that Finchy made of Captain Beefheart, Conway Twitty, Dee Snider's sister, and Strom Thurmond beating on jellyfish with a spoon. Good stuff!!
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  11. #11
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    Rave Wrecks? How clever mademoiselle,
    Perhaps. But I can't take the credit for it.

    I can take the credit for Elf Pee though.

  12. #12
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    Perhaps. But I can't take the credit for it.

    I can take the credit for Elf Pee though.
    You're an Elf?!
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

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