The birds and the bees!

[Auricauricle]

I think yer onta something important, beef, but I would go out on a limb and maybe make it less of a ritual, but a more informal affair that occurs about once a week when you and the lad have some QT. You know, just you and he, whether it's eating, shooting hoops, working in the garage, listening to tunes or whatever. At his age, setting up a routine and calling attention to these times might be seen as an imposition or a nuisance. This way you can get the QT in "on the sly" by lowering his adolescent defenses that are likely to go shields up otherwise....

[Groundbeef]

I think yer onta something important, beef, but I would go out on a limb and maybe make it less of a ritual, but a more informal affair that occurs about once a week when you and the lad have some QT. You know, just you and he, whether it's eating, shooting hoops, working in the garage, listening to tunes or whatever. At his age, setting up a routine and calling attention to these times might be seen as an imposition or a nuisance. This way you can get the QT in "on the sly" by lowering his adolescent defenses that are likely to go shields up otherwise....

That's why we eat dinner together every day. Because we have been doing it for years, its just what we do. In fact, they have friends that don't eat w/family and they think it's odd, and don't enjoy eating at their homes.

For them, it has become a time where everyone gets a chance to "brag" about their day and such.

Anyways, just something for LJ to chew on. I applaud him for setting time aside. Kids love the attention, and just wan't to feel "wanted".

[audio amateur]

That's why we eat dinner together every day. Because we have been doing it for years, its just what we do. In fact, they have friends that don't eat w/family and they think it's odd, and don't enjoy eating at their homes.

I've noticed and this only confirms it, that not eating together is very much an American thing.
The way I grew up is how most of France works, we eat together (not standing up, either). Not doing so simply wouldn't be normal (or odd, as your son puts it).

[Auricauricle]

I think you guys are certainly onto something good, here....On the other hand, if having such a ritual isn't part of the routine, maybe coming in sneaky-like might be a way to start....

[audio amateur]

It's definitely a good thing, but with today's hecktick lifestyles it's not always an easy thing to do.

[Groundbeef]

I've noticed and this only confirms it, that not eating together is very much an American thing.
The way I grew up is how most of France works, we eat together (not standing up, either). Not doing so simply wouldn't be normal (or odd, as your son puts it).

Or my 3 daughters perhaps you meant to say....

[audio amateur]

Sorry

[L.J.]

What's up guys? Hey I feel what you guys are saying about the dinner thing. It was our rule for a long time but unfortunately it doesn't happen anymore. My kids eat at 5pm or something like that. They go to bed at 8pm each night. I don't even think about eating til late evening. I know, bad habit, but that's when I'm hungry...lol

I have walked away with some good advice though and I will use it. Things have been hectic around here but it's starting to slow down a bit. Last night we set aside 11/2 hour after dinner to just all play games together and talk. I will also be spending some quality one on one time with the little guy just hanging out and talking.

I see myself starting to make the same mistakes my parents did and I'm gonna start turning things around right now. I grew up too fast and want my son to stay a happy kid as long as possible. Well at least until I kick him out!!

[Groundbeef]

I see myself starting to make the same mistakes my parents did and I'm gonna start turning things around right now. I grew up too fast and want my son to stay a happy kid as long as possible. Well at least until I kick him out!!

Hey, different strokes for different folks!

Another thing you might try is family game time. UNO, Clue, Pictionary, are favorites. They are generally quick (except Clue) and can lead to lots of banter. Even my 8 year old is becoming an accomplished trash talker.

Aside from the bonding, it leads to lasting stories later about how the game was played, what could have been done different and such. Good times.

[ForeverAutumn]

I see myself starting to make the same mistakes my parents did and I'm gonna start turning things around right now. I grew up too fast and want my son to stay a happy kid as long as possible. Well at least until I kick him out!!

You sound like a great Dad! Your kids are lucky. I doubt that they'll feel that way until they're at least 30 though.

[Groundbeef]

And remember LJ, starting at age 10, every day in the eyes of your child you become dumber and dumber.

By the age of 16, you only exist for amusement of their friends, to be the butt of inside jokes, money and car keys.

By the age of 18 you are largely irrelevent unless said child intends to go to college where you are simply a payment processor.

By the age of 22 suddenly you start to regain your intelligence.

By the birth of your childs first child (and after) you are suddenly the "expert" to call for all sorts of issues.

By the time your grandchild becomes 10, you become a soundboard for your child to express their dismay that "kids these days just don't listen".

I'm 2 years past stage one with 2 more to go. I wish you luck my friend.

I often say that I wish I knew all that I knew at 17. Back then I had it all figured out.

[Auricauricle]

I have little doubt you're gonna be a good dad and husband, L.J. You have taken some time to think things over, which is more than many folks do, to consider your options and your next step rather than go into autopilot and make off-the-cuff decisions that could cost you. Seeing that and reading your passionate concern for your family is all the evidence I need to be confident that whatever you do, wherever you go, you'll make the best decision you can.

The rest is, as they say, up to God and the Wind.

[L.J.]

aww, you guys are so sweet

[3-LockBox]

I learned the hard way, albeit, indirectly.

I was 7 years old, and had a 14 year old sister get knocked-up by her 19 year old boyfriend. My older brother explained it to me, sorta. It was still another 4 or 5 years before I fully understood how things 'worked', and that was because a friend of mine 'borrowed' his dad's "f*ckbook" collection when we were around 12 yrs old.

My sister's mistake was my gain however - I was careful to use protection whenever I 'did it' with a chick...when I was dating age of course. Otherwise, I never had such a chat with either of my parents, thank God.

I do plan on having a chat with son though, because even though there is a glut of info on the subject on the web, there also seems to be a rampant strain of dumbass floating around the pacific northwest - I've read that we have a very high rate of teenage pregnancies. Seems knowledge and wisdom don't go hand-in-hand, especially if a guy thinks with his dick.

[GMichael]

I learned the hard way, albeit, indirectly.

I was 7 years old, and had a 14 year old sister get knocked-up by her 19 year old boyfriend. My older brother explained it to me, sorta. It was still another 4 or 5 years before I fully understood how things 'worked', and that was because a friend of mine 'borrowed' his dad's "f*ckbook" collection when we were around 12 yrs old.

My sister's mistake was my gain however - I was careful to use protection whenever I 'did it' with a chick...when I was dating age of course. Otherwise, I never had such a chat with either of my parents, thank God.

I do plan on having a chat with son though, because even though there is a glut of info on the subject on the web, there also seems to be a rampant strain of dumbass floating around the pacific northwest - I've read that we have a very high rate of teenage pregnancies. Seems knowledge and wisdom don't go hand-in-hand, especially if a guy thinks with his dick.

I'm not going to ask, and no one can make me.

[3-LockBox]

I'm not going to ask, and no one can make me.

you don't recognize an alley-oop when ya see one?

[GMichael]

you don't recognize an alley-oop when ya see one?

Is that an oop for your.....?

[Auricauricle]

...Umpateedle?

I wouldn't be so harsh, 3 (guys who think with their ducks): sometimes its difficult knowin' which head to use.

[GMichael]

There once were these 3 ducklings in a pond. One day, they were all in trouble and had to see the head duck. The first duckling waddled up. "What's your name?" demanded the head duck. "It's Donald Mr. Head Duck" "What were you doing wrong?" HD asked. "I was blowing bubbles", was the reply. "That's not so bad", said the head duck, "go play with your friends." The second duck waddled up. "What's your name and what did you do wrong? asked the HD. "My name is Daffy and I was blowing bubbles" was the reply. That's no big deal. Go ahead and play with your friends. The third duck waddled up. What's your name Duckling? My name is Bubbles........