Worst Film Ever Made...

[RoyY51]

That's okay RoyY51. That was a GREAT rant no matter what. Ebert and Roper ain't got nothing on you!

Thanks for the compliment, but the sad truth is that I probably stole the phraseology from Ebert or Roper or someone, and just can't remember doing so. I seem to recall that I'm not a very good writer, so this is probably what happened.

Is it time for my nap, yet?

[GMichael]

Thanks for the compliment, but the sad truth is that I probably stole the phraseology from Ebert or Roper or someone, and just can't remember doing so. I seem to recall that I'm not a very good writer, so this is probably what happened.

Is it time for my nap, yet?

You missed your nap time for today. You'll have to wait 'till tomorrow.

[PeruvianSkies]

I know what it was supposed to be, it just flat out sucked!

JSE

If you knew what it was suppose to be than why did you comment earlier about it 'not being scary' ? Were you expecting a horror film?

[JSE]

If you knew what it was suppose to be than why did you comment earlier about it 'not being scary' ? Were you expecting a horror film?

Scary was just one word I used but more importantly , because it was advertised as such. It was advertised as a suspense thriller that took place in shark infested waters. I knew it was a real life "docu-drama" but it was advertised that it would scare the hell out of you. I figured at the very least, the film would have me on the edge of my seat physically and mentally.

However, that's just one reason I did not like the film. Everything about this film sucked. It sucked as a thriller, suspense film, docu-drama, etc. Sometimes movies just suck on every level.

It's just an opinion and does not need justification.


JSeeeeeeee!

[PeruvianSkies]

Scary was just one word I used but more importantly , because it was advertised as such. It was advertised as a suspense thriller that took place in shark infested waters. I knew it was a real life "docu-drama" but it was advertised that it would scare the hell out of you. I figured at the very least, the film would have me on the edge of my seat physically and mentally.

However, that's just one reason I did not like the film. Everything about this film sucked. It sucked as a thriller, suspense film, docu-drama, etc. Sometimes movies just suck on every level.

It's just an opinion and does not need justification.


JSeeeeeeee!

I can see where you are coming from, surprisingly the movie got a 6/10 from imdb users, which doesn't mean a whole lot to me personally, but does suggest that a wide population can at least tolerate the film, the 10 films that I selected for the poll were under 4/10 and some were in the last 100.

[RoyY51]

You missed your nap time for today. You'll have to wait 'till tomorrow.

Thank you.

Have you seen my glasses? Oh...never mind.

[L.J.]

You know, I don't think I've seen any of those listed for the vote. From Justin to Kelly.....people actually paid money to see that crap

My wife and I rented Open Water while on vacation and we were highly disappointed. It costed us $12 freakin' dollars

[noddin0ff]

OK, no offense intended to you personally L.J. ...but 'costed' ?

costed is a word but that's not what it means or how you use it. You mean 'cost'.

I'm on a mini rant because I've seen and heard it used too many times this week by people who should know better. Sorry for choosing your post to vent on. I’ll go climb back in my box now.

[SlumpBuster]

Alot of the movies listed so far aren't really all that bad. They either succeed on at least one level, or are just drek (sp?), or are not your particular cup of tea, or don't pretent to be anything more than they are. For example, Teen Wolf Too (along with all the other sequels) is just a straight cash grab sequel, not deserving of the title "most" anything. Freddy Got Fingered actually succeeds as an "anti-humor anti-movie" the likes of Anus McGillicuty (or at least some people think so - me included). Battlefield Earth was simply a vanity project. A further example: you can't call Kung Pow: Enter the Fist the worst movie ever made because it wasn't really trying to be any good.

No, to be truely the worst movie ever made, it has to be serious in its endeavor. If it is a comedy, it has to be reach for universal humor but fall flat. If it a drama, it must only achieve melodrama (or audiences laughing at serious actors hamming it up a la Star Wars Ep III).

Accordingly, the worst movie ever made is: Soul Man


This movie is wholly indefensible for so many reasons. Most obviously is the blackface makeup that C. Thomas Howell wears. I can't actually believe that this movie was made in 1986. Frankly, if this movie had been in an earlier time, I would not label it as the Worst of All Time. But, timing is everything.

This was a serious studio picture that starred serious actors. Lets not forget, C. Thomas was poised as one of the next great actors (he starred in Coppala's Outsiders with Tom Cruise as second banana). But Tom Cruise starred in Top Gun in 1986 and C. Thomas starred in Soul Man 1986. What a career killer.

It is not dramatic - though it tries, it is not funny - though it tries.

This movie demonstrates the difference between jokes about racism and racist jokes. Compare this movie with the scene from Silver Streak where Gene Wilder is in black face. That is a scene that works as one of the funniest in movie history because it is a joke about race and racism. The blackface joke of Soul Man is just racist. Gene Wilder is funny because he will fool no one, Soul Man is racist because he fools everyone.

Edit: It costed the actors and audience alike their dignity.

[PeruvianSkies]

Alot of the movies listed so far aren't really all that bad. They either succeed on at least one level, or are just drek (sp?), or are not your particular cup of tea, or don't pretent to be anything more than they are. For example, Teen Wolf Too (along with all the other sequels) is just a straight cash grab sequel, not deserving of the title "most" anything. Freddy Got Fingered actually succeeds as an "anti-humor anti-movie" the likes of Anus McGillicuty (or at least some people think so - me included). Battlefield Earth was simply a vanity project. A further example: you can't call Kung Pow: Enter the Fist the worst movie ever made because it wasn't really trying to be any good.

No, to be truely the worst movie ever made, it has to be serious in its endeavor. If it is a comedy, it has to be reach for universal humor but fall flat. If it a drama, it must only achieve melodrama (or audiences laughing at serious actors hamming it up a la Star Wars Ep III).

Accordingly, the worst movie ever made is: Soul Man


This movie is wholly indefensible for so many reasons. Most obviously is the blackface makeup that C. Thomas Howell wears. I can't actually believe that this movie was made in 1986. Frankly, if this movie had been in an earlier time, I would not label it as the Worst of All Time. But, timing is everything.

This was a serious studio picture that starred serious actors. Lets not forget, C. Thomas was poised as one of the next great actors (he starred in Coppala's Outsiders with Tom Cruise as second banana). But Tom Cruise starred in Top Gun in 1986 and C. Thomas starred in Soul Man 1986. What a career killer.

It is not dramatic - though it tries, it is not funny - though it tries.

This movie demonstrates the difference between jokes about racism and racist jokes. Compare this movie with the scene from Silver Streak where Gene Wilder is in black face. That is a scene that works as one of the funniest in movie history because it is a joke about race and racism. The blackface joke of Soul Man is just racist. Gene Wilder is funny because he will fool no one, Soul Man is racist because he fools everyone.

Edit: It costed the actors and audience alike their dignity.

Thanks for the education on how to run the thread that I started.

[noddin0ff]

Honestly, I think SlumpB is spot on. A bad movie is one that fails, not one that just wasn't good. If you love some thread, set it free. If it comes back to bite you in the a$$, it didn't love you back anyway. Let it go.

[Troy]

Geez, you didn't have to accosted the guy!

[noddin0ff]

that was beautiful, man. *snif*

[JSE]

that was beautiful, man. *snif*

Or "sniff"

[GMichael]

I'm so proud of all of you.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Or "sniff"

Nice catch JSE

[L.J.]

OK, no offense intended to you personally L.J. ...but 'costed' ?

costed is a word but that's not what it means or how you use it. You mean 'cost'.

I'm on a mini rant because I've seen and heard it used too many times this week by people who should know better. Sorry for choosing your post to vent on. I’ll go climb back in my box now.

That's actually exactly how I would say and use it. It's not a question of if I should know better. The real question is do I really give a ****.

[Rich-n-Texas]

smackdown!!!

[SlumpBuster]

Thanks for the education on how to run the thread that I started.

Your welcome. Somebody has to keep this place high class.

Hopefully your just goofing. If not, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to hi-jack your thread, but merely outlining the criteria I used to render my conclusion.

But, in my defense. A) none of us have any business seeing a movie like Kazzam, we should all know better. B) of all the movies cited as worst so far, only one to my knowlege contains blackface, in an unironic context too.... so tell me again how my selection is wrong?

[Groundbeef]

Has this ever happened to you guys? My wife and I rented this 'thriller' detective movie starring James Belushi as some washed up detective. Total Snore fest, and it would make the list if I could remember the movie name.

Heres the rub, the box art was SO good, and the writup on the back was excellent. So good that several months later we RENTED it again......watched about 5 minutes and I had this horrible feeling of deja-vu. My wife and I then realized that we had already rented this piece of crap. At this point, what could we do? I couldn't take it back to the movie store and complain about how I hated this movie that I had now rented TWICE. We laughed pretty hard about that one, and still do on occasion.

So we turned it off, and played cards as memory serves.

So if you find an old late 1990's detective movie starring James Belushi, stay away.

[Rich-n-Texas]

That's my biggest fear Groundbeef. It's happened to me in the past but IIRC it was a movie I enjoyed so it wasn't too much of a let-down. One good thing about the Blockbuster Total Access and Netflick systems is that won't happen unless you want it to.

[PeruvianSkies]

Has this ever happened to you guys? My wife and I rented this 'thriller' detective movie starring James Belushi as some washed up detective. Total Snore fest, and it would make the list if I could remember the movie name.

Heres the rub, the box art was SO good, and the writup on the back was excellent. So good that several months later we RENTED it again......watched about 5 minutes and I had this horrible feeling of deja-vu. My wife and I then realized that we had already rented this piece of crap. At this point, what could we do? I couldn't take it back to the movie store and complain about how I hated this movie that I had now rented TWICE. We laughed pretty hard about that one, and still do on occasion.

So we turned it off, and played cards as memory serves.

So if you find an old late 1990's detective movie starring James Belushi, stay away.

GANG RELATED starring James Belushi and Tupac from 1997....

[noddin0ff]

smackdown!!!

Well, hardly a smackdown!!!. If L.J. doesn't care, that's fine with me. I didn't take his comments personally, and I hope he didn't take mine personally. Lots of people say 'costed'. Lots of people think it's the past tense of 'cost'. A frightening number of people I've interacted with this week seem to think that. It isn't. Try using it in a job interview. 'know better' was a poor choice of words, but it was easier than trying to find a humorous way of saying "successfully mastered eighth grade english". The price of being an egalitarian jerk, I suppose. It apparently costed me some good will.

oh, no. I hope I didn't hijack the thread too!

[Groundbeef]

GANG RELATED starring James Belushi and Tupac from 1997....

No, it was a kind of "film noir (sp)?", and shot with voiceovers....ala "it was a dark and stormy night" complete with the horns etc. It was REALLLY bad.

[Gerall]

1. Super Babies -Baby Geniuses II
tied with Baby Guniuses I
2. Car 54 Where Are You.
3. Crossover
4. Ed
5. Every Police Academy ever made.