Quote Originally Posted by skeptic
You are right. The clarinet is not as expressive an instrument as the violin. While the king of musical instruments is still the human voice when it is developed to its fullest potential, it's hard to say that violins are not just a notch below. The cello is a truely great instrument. Clearly much better than a clarinet. It's too bad that the greatest composers didn't write a lot more music exploiting its unique characer. While a violin may be like a lovely woman, the cello is more like a beloved uncle. The clarinet is maybe a fondly thought of cousin. The electric guitar is like a hobo sitting in the gutter. Clearly disagreeable enough for many to cross to the other side of the street to avoid its malodorous effluvia. As for heavy metal bands, they remind me of what I'd expect to see inside of an insane asylum, especially if the inmates took control and were off all medication.
Then the dulcimer must be like a drunken third cousin while the psaltery could be like a redheaded stepchild. I'm struggling with their place in the hierarchy and I'm curious also where to place the bandoneon, bouzouki, harmonica, sitar and sackbut. And is the viola a lovely but overweight woman? And we haven't even covered brass instruments! I'm sure the french horn is at the top of that list for you - perhaps it's your Aunt Betty?

Interesting analogy about heavy metal. Classical reminds me of old Uncle Joe after thanksgiving dinner - slow, heavy laden, those eyelids drooping, and zzzzzzzzzzzzz..... a nice 3 hour nap punctuated by flatulence.