Suckiest bands that made it big...sort of.

[Swish]

Okay, I gotta vent some more.

I think there are two distinct levels of sucktation. Phil could sing and was a helluva drummer but he wrote pop pap that blitzkrieged the airwaves with boring junk for too many years. Billy Joel, on the other hand, is a complete phony in my view. Utterly unconvincing and overwrought, he's the Ethal Merman of Rock 'n' Roll. Then he tried to cash in on new wave with that Glass Houses crap. "Friday night I crashed yo paaarty." Omigod, the piano man is trying to sound like a punk! It's like an audio version of Epicac, it just works faster.

While I'm at it, and speaking of the changes the new wave wrought, The Eagles tried to man up with The Long Run. That was hilarious after they'd displayed the utter inability to sound like they'd ever actually been in the fast lane no matter how much they sang about it. Then there was the bile inducing video of Jefferson Starship with Grace Slick gothed up in a dog collar and glaring through acres of eyeliner in a desperate Siouxse wannabe gambit for relevance.

Hell, let's keep going...

What's up with Bad Company? Were they really that good? Really? "Feel like makin' luuuuuuuuv". You couldn't intentionally design a more mind numbing parody of a post-blues rock lobotomy. Zeppelin went on and on about these guys when they signed them to Swan Song but I thought they made BTO sound complex. Yeah, I get the part about 3-chord rock, believe me. But there's no excuse for being boring. I hated Skynyrd and their downshifted version of the Allman's but at least their rhythm section was tight. Bad Co. just sounded burnt out from day one and probably were.

I can think of buttloads of big bucks suckage without picking on Elton or Dave Matthews. My god, Journey? Foreigner? The list is endless. Actually, it's only about 200 songs played on the radio 24/7 for three decades.

Okay, that's enough tail-gating the short bus. You guys got me started, it's your fault.

..ly bad. Fooled ya, didn't I. Yes, I can't believe I didn't include them in my original post, along with Foreigner and their ilk, but there are just too many who really sucked to remember them all, especially after I've worked so hard to forget them. The BTO comment was really funny by the way. Oh, and how about REO Speedwagon? Get out the barf bags.

I'm feeling much better now.

Swish

[johnny p]

Bob Dylan is excellent.... If you want to dismiss him as a singer, so be it.... we all know his true talent was song writing.

As far as the Guitar Solos go.... I'll admit that I don't listen to, nor do I own (I don't think I do at least) any Prince, but Prince plays a mean guitar, and the solos fit in quite nicely.

I like Frank Zappa, and that's on a whole different level of "music" and It has nothing to do with anyone's ability to play an instrument, or carry a tune..... it's more about the songs themselves (man did I make any sense???? ) I'm listening to Spanish Guitar right now.... which means.... yep.... there's my wife!!!! I really enjoy the live music/improvisational scene, but as I stated, Dave Mathews is certainly not my cup of tea..... I like artists that generate energy with their audience, or for instance.... Widespread Panic (in the earlier days... I don't care much for them now) So many tempo changes... I hear it makes their music very difficult to play, but it's full of energy....

I'm sure if you shake your monitor violently, this will all make sense.... sorry.

[Mr Peabody]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity. It's interesting that you all rail on icons of Classic Rock. Classic Rock is actually growing in popularity amongst teens to young adult according to reports I've heard. I do not like Dylan and I'm aware of his status as mentioned in my post of the blastfomy. But him sucking to me is no different than any of you who claim other major artists such as Eagles or Zepplin suck. If Classic Rock artists sucked they wouldn't continue to get heavy radio play. Apparently playing music that sucks is contrary to selling commercials and getting a good rating for your station.

I have emailed and talked to programmers until I'm blue in the face about the lack of variety. It would seem that people like you and I who buy music that is off the beaten path and we seek things new or different, are in a very small minority. So I guess who ever we say sucks is just our opinion because the volume of record sales and success of what ever artist speaks for itself.

[BradH]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity..

I know, it's awesome. Almost like old times at RR.

Classic Rock is actually growing in popularity amongst teens to young adult according to reports I've heard...

So what? A lot of it still sucks just like it did when young people bought it in the 70's.

If Classic Rock artists sucked they wouldn't continue to get heavy radio play.

It gets heavy radio play because there's an entire generation of people who never listened to anything more adventurous than Rush. A lot of people in their 30's and 40's were raised on that format and that's their definition of rock 'n' roll. So be it. It's not a crime against humanity, it's just lame.

So I guess who ever we say sucks is just our opinion because the volume of record sales and success of what ever artist speaks for itself.

Again, I don't mind the sales so much. Like I said, sucky artists who sell a lot are tapping into some kind of need that's out there, there's just no way around it. But the need to hear the classic rock format became largely manufactured in the 80's. The dj's loved to play recordings of people requesting songs that were already on the list. Loverboy, anyone? Why did they request it? It's all they knew and felt comfortable with after all those years. Popularity creates its own weird legitimacy in a boot-strapping kind of way. So to your question, how do we determine suction? Here's a small example: it was blatantly obvious to me that Phil Collins' first solo album, Face Value, was totally ripping off Peter Gabriel's third album. Phil knew it, Gabriel knew it, Genesis knew it. It was a monster hit but it sucked because it was an unoriginal wussy type of career move no matter how technically inspired it was. I knew that because I had a deeper and wider range of listening habits than most of the people who suddenly discovered Phil Collins. That's not elitism, that's just a fact. Somewhere there's somebody who knows more about wooden spoons or the frigging history of bird houses or something. So, it's not just a matter of opinion, it's a matter of informed opinion. The more you know about the music scene the more you know who's being brave and original and who's faking it. And there was a lot of faking going on in that Classic Rock radio format. I reject the notion that it all has value just because it's old and growing in popularity. Your argument is similar to the one guys like you and me have always heard when we're told our fave bands can't be all that good or they'd be more popular.

[Jim Clark]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity. It's interesting that you all rail on icons of Classic Rock. Classic Rock is actually growing in popularity amongst teens to young adult according to reports I've heard.

Like there was ever any control or validity to begin with. Somewhere there's somebody who still digs Air Supply and would defend their anti-suckdom for hours. Well, probably anyway.

As for the youngsters I'd agree with your assessment but I would remind you that these are the same teens and young adults that were listening to rap a few short months ago. I wouldn't base too many arguments on what kids listen to. Kids are stupid, it's just part of the deal : )

jc

[Jack in Wilmington]

Here are a few of mine and I'm sure it will strike a nerve somewhere.

Bob Dylan.- Just can't stand his voice. I'll admit he can write songs but please Bob sell them to somebody with a voice.

Willie Nelson - See Above

Rolling Stones - Maybe in their younger days, But come on guys will you just frickin retire, You're like the Roger Clemens of rock.

Rod Stewart - If I hear Maggie May one more time. "Wake up Maggie" for her sake I hope she's in a coma.

[johnny p]

I feel ashamed...... You said Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart........ I didn't think of them!!!! I totally agree.... but Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan??? You're lookin' for a fight buddy!!!!

[Swish]

I know, it's awesome. Almost like old times at RR.



So what? A lot of it still sucks just like it did when young people bought it in the 70's.



It gets heavy radio play because there's an entire generation of people who never listened to anything more adventurous than Rush. A lot of people in their 30's and 40's were raised on that format and that's their definition of rock 'n' roll. So be it. It's not a crime against humanity, it's just lame.



Again, I don't mind the sales so much. Like I said, sucky artists who sell a lot are tapping into some kind of need that's out there, there's just no way around it. But the need to hear the classic rock format became largely manufactured in the 80's. The dj's loved to play recordings of people requesting songs that were already on the list. Loverboy, anyone? Why did they request it? It's all they knew and felt comfortable with after all those years. Popularity creates its own weird legitimacy in a boot-strapping kind of way. So, it's not just a matter of opinion, it's a matter of informed opinion. The more you know about the music scene the more you know who's being brave and original and who's faking it. And there was a lot of faking going on in that Classic Rock radio format. I reject the notion that it all has value just because it's old and growing in popularity. Your argument is similar to the one guys like you and me have always heard when we're told our fave bands can't be all that good or they'd be more popular.

And I could not have responded any better than you did. Anyone who equates hits or radio play with quality is just missing the point. They keep eating hamburgers while we enjoy the filet mignon.

I remember moving to a new office in PA from NJ back around 1987, and the mostly younger staff always listened to an FM radio station out of Scranton that played mostly classic rock, which I, of course, hated for the most part. They had a little stereo system that had a cassette player in it, so I popped in the new Midnight Oil with' Beds Are Burning' on it, and they pretty much trashed it, and I was incensed, explaining that they need to really listen and not be so narrow-minded and only listen to the crap djs thrust upon them. Funny thing was, about a year of so later, that song started getting air-play on that station and they all liked it, at which point I reminded them of the incident from a year ago and exposed them for their blatant hypocrisy. Just another example of people who rely on the radio to tell them what is 'good' and what they should be listening to.

Hey, I do like some classic rock, especially when it comes to the Allman Brothers, but I don't want to hear it 24/7 either, especially from most of the el-sucko bands already mentioned.

Thanks for helping,
Swish

[buyusa]

I cant think of all the great songs that radio has destroyed and I only listen to It in the car. Great example pretty much the entire paranoid album. I could care less If I ever heard this once great album again.

[SlumpBuster]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity.

I know! It's great! I think it really is more of a "what you like" standard. There is simply no objective suckitude standard. And there is no accounting for taste. But I love the dichotomy it demonstrates.

I can't stand Journey, but love REO Speedwagon. To many people there is no difference between the two bands, but to me there is a huge difference.

Billy Joel's "still rock and roll to me" is terrible, but "Piano Man" is timeless and really good in Spanish too. Go figure.

[Mr Peabody]

I'm wondering now if it's suckitude that's directed at some of these bands or is it just plain burn out. If it's the burn out I'm all with you on that. For the most part I disagree with most of the bands mentioned as sucking. Some of the impression of sucking is also bands who don't know when to quit and younger people get exposed to the suckier stuff and don't explore the rest of a catalog.

I was into Journey, including the pre Steve Perry, and REO in the beginning and their hay days and like them both. I have much of the Stones early to mid career stuff. Almost everything by Zeppelin except all the stuff they drug out of the attics and closets to make a buck on. I have quite a bit of Elton John but also sent some albums I acquired in collections on their way for sucking. I also like a lot of Phil Collins solo work. I have some Peter Gabriel but must not have heard his 3rd album because him and Phil seem to follow quite a different path to me. With all of this said these bands rarely get pulled when I'm in the mood to listen to music and none of them are on my mp3 player. What I listen to on my mp3 player while commuting is mostly Rock that don't get much air play, anything from Proto Kaw to Tristania to Motorhead and Iron Maiden to Ramones, Infectious Grooves to Dokken. Almost anything could end up in my CDP or turntable except things that I have that was a waste because of over exposure. A good example is Boston, it was a waste to buy the disc, you can hear almost any track on the radio most any time.

I'd like to think it was because of my persistent badgering but I doubt it, we do have a Classic Rock stations that goes "no repeat" for a whole week, every week. They claim it's successful so far but I can't convince them to do it with the AOR station. If they lost AC/DC, Ozzie or Black Sabbath that station would have to go off the air. They also play Pearl Jam every day. Give me a break, here's a band that you could almost add to the list in my opinion. 10 was the only album worth pressing and I don't want to hear the few hits every single day. Maybe they think people who listen to that type of music don't have the brain cells left to notice the repetitiveness.

It is interesting though to see what sucks to whom and maybe we all should be proud that we risen to explore beyond the norm.

[Swish]

What can I do next to stir the pot? So many sucky bands, so little time.

Swish

[Wireworm5]

[Billy Joel's "still rock and roll to me" is terrible, but "Piano Man" is timeless and really good in Spanish too. Go figure."]

Hey I like that song, "still rock and roll to me". It always reminds me of the time when I was working at McDonald's and I was on the lunch break with a fellow employee chick, babe. I had the hots for her and she closed the door to the lunch room and danced around the room to this song. I thought I was gone a get lucky.

Philadelphia Freedom, tops my list of all time suckiest songs. Keep it in your bedroom please!

I could go on for days listing more sucky songs but I will only mention one more artist that's always on the radio, Bob Seger. He had two hits Night Moves and Still the Same. All the rest of his songs use the same formula but sadly they aren't hits. Oh, and don't get me started on Old Time Rock n Roll.

[Mr Peabody]

Bob Seger? Are you crazy?! Bob had way more than 2 hits. Live Bullet, Stranger In Town, Night Moves and Against The Wind are all good albums from beginning to end, pretty much. Again, though, this is another one of those artists who suffers from radio over play of his more popular stuff. Bob's music may not be complex but it's some finger popping, toe tapping good time. Get back to the roots man, Rock-n-Roll was never complex and was never intended to be, it's the spirit of the thing. Every Jerry Lee Lewis song is basically the same thing and the list is long of those that do like wise. How do you think the Ramones pulled their act off? There's nothing deep there, it's just energetic good fun. You know, it either works for you or it don't.

Besides that man, one of his songs is on a Chevy commercial

[Wireworm5]

I heard he made something like 10 million dollars on that song for the commercial. More than he probably made over the radio.
And that song sucks, Like a Rock.

[Mr MidFi]

I like about half of the "sucky" artists mentioned so far in this thread. Who cares?

Air Supply is the correct answer. There is a difference between "suck" and "it's not my taste". Liking Air Supply is simply not a valid preference. "I'm All Out of Love" is the single worst song ever recorded. This is a fact. It's not open to discussion.

[Finch Platte]

The Rolling Stones.

No wait, Foreigner.

fp

[Finch Platte]

It always reminds me of the time when I was working at McDonald's and I was on the lunch break with a fellow employee chick, babe. I had the hots for her and she closed the door to the lunch room and danced around the room to this song.

That's hot.

[GMichael]

I could never tolerate Bruce Springsteen or the B52's.

[Bernd]

Some great stuff and Air Supply will take some beating. I will play and give it a go. It is pretty tough to distinguish between suckiest and just don't like. I don't like the Beatles, but can't deny their importance. Whereas these.....

I can't stomach the BeeGees from Saturday Night Fever onwards.
Also U2. What a promising band that dissapeared completely up it's own rectum.
But top spot for me is Diana Ross. Absolutely makes me cringe.

And for a recent suckiest look no further than The Spice Girls. Dear oh Dear.

Peace

[nobody]

No way for anything other than an opinion on this one, so I'll toss out mine...

Van Halen

David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar. Can't stand the spandex clad karate monkey or the scab. Eddie's guitar is not only completely annoying, but it led to a generation of people thinking the key to playing guitar was to see how fast you can play a couple notes over and over. There is not one thing this band has even done that even remotely entertains me...well, except some decent laughs at their ill-fated current concert tour.

[johnny p]

I'll be attacked...... but I don't care for Sting.... Stewart Copeland is amazing though.

[Jack in Wilmington]

I'll be attacked...... but I don't care for Sting.... Stewart Copeland is amazing though.

Not just Sting, the whole band, Roxanne keeps getting played by the so-called progressive rock station here in Philly and I have to keep changing the station.

[Swish]

I like about half of the "sucky" artists mentioned so far in this thread. Who cares?

Air Supply is the correct answer. There is a difference between "suck" and "it's not my taste". Liking Air Supply is simply not a valid preference. "I'm All Out of Love" is the single worst song ever recorded. This is a fact. It's not open to discussion.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone,
thinking of you 'til it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do,
tormented and torn apart.

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart,
For times when my life seems so low.
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring,
When today doesn't really know, Doesn't really know.

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost with you,
I know you were right, believing for so long.
I'm all out of love, what am I without you,
I can't be to late to say that I was so wrong.

I want you to come back and carry me home,
Away from these long, lonely nights.
I'm reaching for you. Are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now,
And said that I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day,
Please love me or I'll be gone. I'll be gone.

Oooo....What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you Thinking of
What are you Thinking of

Yeah. Deep.

Swish

[MindGoneHaywire]

This thread sucked until someone mentioned Lester Bangs. Now it sucks less.

My least favorite bands have to be Aerosmith, Rush, & the Eagles. The order changes depending on whose music I was forced to endure most recently.

Oh, yeah. Santana. Oooffff. And Primus, too, in spite of their almost-clever attempt to...oh, never mind.

Naming the 70s arena classic rock giants is tempting, yet pointless. They all sound the same to me. As for radio formats, anything in the wake of Lee Abrams is marketing, and nothing more. And it's more than 30 years since Superstars/AOR/"Classic."

If you had to program a classic rock radio station with MP3s, I'm pretty sure you could do it, easily, with 1 gb of space, even allowing for decent file sizes. Hell, maybe half that much. That speaks for itself.

Focus groups suck.