Enough about politics; how about a joke thread?

We all had a chance to state our political opinions and probably made a few people angry, but we all need to get over it. You are entitled to their own opinion, no matter how ridiculous it might be...ok, I'm just kidding. Anyway, I thought some jokes might help clear the air, so here is my first attempt.

A guy goes into a bar and orders 6 shots of whiskey, then slugs them down as fast as possible. The bartender says "You really drank those fast", to which the guy replies "If you had what I had, you'd be drinking fast too". The barkeep says "I hate to ask, but what exactly do you have?" The guy replies "Seventy-five cents".

Swish, feelin' good on a sunny Friday.

Good one.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Gestapo.

Gestapo who?

VE vill ask ze questions!

fp

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Finch Platte

Good one.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Gestapo.

Gestapo who?

VE vill ask ze questions!

fp

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one out there with a joke. Whatever.

Swish

Maybe you can tell me if this is too political or hopefully a segueway from politics but all I can think of in the wake of the election results is a line from the John Wayne movie- "Never apologize- it's a sign of weakness."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Swish

one out there with a joke. Whatever.

Swish

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...at least for me, was that I got an email saying there was a new post (yours) in RR. When I went to check it out, it was a day old, had slipped down several posts, and wasn't highlighted.

If I hadn't gotten the notification, I wouldn't have known, but if it had been highlighted, I would have noticed. Do you see my quandry? :p

So now, I spent all that time typing that out, and don't have time to type in another joke. :(

fp

Check out the music forum at obner.org, btw.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Finch Platte

...at least for me, was that I got an email saying there was a new post (yours) in RR. When I went to check it out, it was a day old, had slipped down several posts, and wasn't highlighted.

If I hadn't gotten the notification, I wouldn't have known, but if it had been highlighted, I would have noticed. Do you see my quandry? :p

So now, I spent all that time typing that out, and don't have time to type in another joke. :(

fp

Check out the music forum at obner.org, btw.

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The last time I started a joke thread I got lots of new material for the week, and I was hoping for more of the same. I can use your knock-knock joke for sure, but I need a few more for the trade show I'm attending on the 14th and 15th.

Swishster

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Swish

The last time I started a joke thread I got lots of new material for the week, and I was hoping for more of the same. I can use your knock-knock joke for sure, but I need a few more for the trade show I'm attending on the 14th and 15th.

Swishster

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You know what's funny is I got that knock knock joke from a thread at Obner. When I went back to get more jokes for you, they had deleted the thread because someone had posted a racially offensive joke. D'oh!

Here's one from the newest Playboy (I told you I read the damn thing):

A busybody visited her bachelor neighbor and said, "You're 45 years old and have never been married. I have a lovely niece your age. Say the word and I'll introduce you."

"Don't bother," the bachelor said, "I have two sisters who look after all my needs."

The meddlesome woman replied, "That's all well and good, but all the sisters in the world cannot fill the role of a wife."

The bachelor said, "I didn't say they were my sisters."

And here's one especially you will like:

What is the main difference between Iraq and Vietnam?

Bush went to Iraq.

Ok, another:

Why is Bud Light like making love in a canoe?

They're both focking close to water.

:D

fp

You won't be able to tell this, but you gotta see it anyhoo: http://www.furnitureporn.com/roofsex.html

fp