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  1. #1
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Why men shoudn't write advice columns.

    Dear Walter,

    I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help.

    When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbors daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbors daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years. When I confronted him, he broke down and admitted that they had been having an affair for the past six months.

    I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was sacked from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. He won't go to counseling and I'm afraid I can't get through to him anymore.

    Can you please help?

    Sincerely, Sheila



    -------------------------------

    Dear Sheila:

    A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no dirt in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the injectors.

    I hope this helps.

    Walter.

  2. #2
    Rep points are my LIFE!! Groundbeef's Avatar
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    Olbviously a fake. No woman would have 'walked home'. Would have called home until said husband answered the phone, then demanded to be picked up.

    The car advice was spot on though.
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  3. #3
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Groundbeef
    Olbviously a fake. No woman would have 'walked home'. Would have called home until said husband answered the phone, then demanded to be picked up.

    The car advice was spot on though.
    You left out that part where she blames him for the car breaking down.

    "If he was any kind of competent male, he would have made sure that the family car was functioning properly at all times. What was he trying to do, kill her? She should have maried so-in-so instead."
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  4. #4
    M.P.S.E /AES/SMPTE member Sir Terrence the Terrible's Avatar
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    I think this is more like why women should not write TO advice columns than why men should not write them.
    Sir Terrence

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  5. #5
    nightflier
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    Should women write A/V advice columns?

  6. #6
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    I don't think any woman would be so cavalier about catching their husband in bed with another woman.

    Dear Sheila;

    H-e-l-l-o, the girl is 22 you are 10 years older, you offered to leave, and, you expected, what? Look, you love him, if you leave you will be miserable. So give the ol' boy a real boost of self esteem and just join him and miss young thing in the bed.

    Walter..

  7. #7
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    I appreciate you "changing the names to protect the innocent" but, frankly, resent the hell out of you publishing such private memoirs. Leave me and my 22 year-old alone to deal with our issues...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  8. #8
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    sticks, if it's still under warranty, take it back to the dealer.

  9. #9
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rich-n-Texas
    sticks, if it's still under warranty, take it back to the dealer.
    And exchange them both for 3 18 year olds.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  10. #10
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Sticks, at yer age you oughtta be careful....You might throw a rod.

  11. #11
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    And exchange them both for 3 18 year olds.
    ...with a remote control and a mute button...

    ...Dear Lord, Autumn's gonna kill me.....
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  12. #12
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    ...with a remote control and a mute button...

    ...Dear Lord, Autumn's gonna kill me.....
    Maybe, but what a way to go!
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  13. #13
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auricauricle
    Sticks, at yer age you oughtta be careful....You might throw a rod.

    Lol, mebbe...but you oughta ask the ChiTown crew...I do pretty well for myself...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  14. #14
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auricauricle
    Sticks, at yer age you oughtta be careful....You might throw a rod.
    If he keeps it under 68 he should be ok.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  15. #15
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    Lol, mebbe...but you oughta ask the ChiTown crew...I do pretty well for myself...
    I wouldn't know. What I saw was you ogling the 22-yr-olds. You didn't stick around long enough for me to see if the ogling was returned.

    Although...you didn't show up for breakfast. Hmmmmmmm.

  16. #16
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    I wouldn't know. What I saw was you ogling the 22-yr-olds. You didn't stick around long enough for me to see if the ogling was returned.

    Although...you didn't show up for breakfast. Hmmmmmmm.

    LMAO!!...fair enough...I got a stern talking to upon my return...plus you had already chastised me with the warning that I had to be on "best behaviour" with hubby in town...I tried to be good....
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  17. #17
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    LMAO!!...fair enough...I got a stern talking to upon my return...
    LMAO! I didn't know that. hehehe.

  18. #18
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    LMAO! I didn't know that. hehehe.

    Yeah, I left you characters and went to Fada which was good and it was fine...then I went to Sin, a lovely afterhours, goth bar at which my gf's sister was present...I've been paying for that behavioural miscue for some time...I shoulda gone to "Legends" with y'all...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  19. #19
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    I wouldn't know. What I saw was you ogling the 22-yr-olds. You didn't stick around long enough for me to see if the ogling was returned.

    Although...you didn't show up for breakfast. Hmmmmmmm.

    You edited that part!! You're acting like a dog in Pompeii again...which God knows I was in Chitown...I wish I could claim some atavistic, Lizard-King-style hookup...I left JM, who was kind enough to see that I didn't have to spend anymore time at the O'Hare Hilton than necessary... but i had two Barrett M82's in the back of the Moon Buggy and a meeting with the Caruso Brothers....
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  20. #20
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    You edited that part!! You're acting like a dog in Pompeii again...which God knows I was in Chitown...
    I was trying to help you save face. But you had to go and tell everybody.

  21. #21
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    I was trying to help you save face. But you had to go and tell everybody.
    Meh, no worries...I appreciate it but I don't regret a moment of it. Y'all were such a great crew....I don't regret a moment of it...having come through free-and-clear of any legal entaglements or social conflicts I would, and will, gladly do it all again...I'm thinkin' 350 days from now we all need to meet at the Italian Village...even Swishy...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  22. #22
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    No one else is reading this thread.

    Oops!
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  23. #23
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    I would not miss it for the world. Now that I know how to get to the Italian Village!
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  24. #24
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    .I'm thinkin' 350 days from now we all need to meet at the Italian Village...even Swishy...
    Oh, I don't know. Do you think that they'll Swishy back in after the incident?

    Quote Originally Posted by JohnMichael
    I would not miss it for the world. Now that I know how to get to the Italian Village!
    Ten bucks says you get lost again.

  25. #25
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnMichael
    I would not miss it for the world. Now that I know how to get to the Italian Village!
    Well, clearly between the eight of us need a protractor, a compass, and an abacus to find our way back...the one and a half city blocks that it was...but well worth the journey, I'm sure you'll agree...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

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