Ooooooouch! *!#*!@#^&*! My Calf!

[JSE]

I was once riding my bicycle and was clotheslined by a tree branch. It knocked my head right off my body. Blood was spurting out of my neck like a Monty Python sketch. I had to blindly feel around the ground for my head, which had rolled about 10 feet away and then was dragged under a bush by a squirrel who thought that my hair would make a nice nest. When my hands finally located my head, I had to hold it onto my neck and walk 20 miles up-hill to the hospital where my head was reattached to my body.

To this day, my nose is parallel with my left shoulder.

True story.

I have a hard time believing you walked 20 miles, up hill. You would have bled to death by then. I don't buy it.

[ForeverAutumn]

I have a hard time believing you walked 20 miles, up hill. You would have bled to death by then. I don't buy it.

I used the squirrel as a tourniquet to slow the bleeding.