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  1. #1
    Forum Regular budgetaudio76's Avatar
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    Feb 2008
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    283

    hey you didnt say where this takes place...

    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    Subject: newest scam

    A 'heads up' for you and any of your friends who may be regular Home
    Depot customers. Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam
    while out shopping. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you.

    Here's how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 18 or 19 year-old
    girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping items into
    the trunk. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex,
    with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is
    impossible not to look.

    When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' and instead ask
    you for a ride to another Home Depot. You agree and they get in the back
    seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other. Then one of
    them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while
    the other one steals your wallet.

    I had my wallet stolen Feb 4th, 9th, 15th, 20th, 24th, and 28th, and
    very likely again this upcoming weekend as soon as I can buy some more
    wallets.
    Be Careful!!!
    i must find the place.

    ok heres another one.
    insert favorite redneck bluegrass tune. accompaniment(clap clap slap your right knee, tap left foot twice. repea )
    (high tone)i was walkin down the railroad wantin to see mah hunny.
    (low tone)git 'er bob.
    (high tone)oh i was walkin down the railroad expectin to see mah hunny for the sweet, sweet bear that she is.
    (L.T.) git 'er bob
    (H.T) i was walkin down the railroad goin to see mah hunny when i came across a bunch of bees. oh! lord!
    (L.T.)run bob!
    (H.T.)for i was walkin down the rail road wantin my hunny, came across dem bees. oh lord!start runnin thru the woods. came across a pond. yee haw!
    L.T)jump in bob!
    (H.T.)i was walkin down the railroad wantin to see may hunny. came across them dang bees! started running! yep i sure ran. jumped in dat dere pond. and whats this here. A BROWN CUCUMBER?! OH LORD WHAT IS THAT TASTE!!! OOOH CRAP!!!
    (L.T.)WellBob ...! Yah See That Pond? ITS WHATS KNOWN AS HONEY IN SOME PLACES! YAH FINALY CAUGHT UP WITH SOME HUNNY!

  2. #2
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    ----- There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

    Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

    The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.

    He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.



    The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.

    When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up.

    At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.

    She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

    The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

    The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .

    'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

    'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

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