Just for fun

[JohnMichael]

Outsourcing

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Congress Votes to Outsource Presidency


September 7, 2007

Washington, DC (AP) – Congress today announced that the office of President of the United States of America will be outsourced to India as of October 1, 2007. The move is being made in order to save the President's $500,000 yearly salary, and also a record $521 Billion in deficit expenditures and related overhead that the office has incurred during the last 5 years. "We believe this is a wise financial move. The cost savings are huge," stated Congressman Thomas Reynolds (R-WA). "We cannot remain competitive on the world stage with the current level of cash outlay," Reynolds noted. Mr. Bush was informed by e-mail this morning of his termination. Preparations for the job move have been underway for some time.

Gurvinder Singh of Indus Teleservices, Mumbai, India will assume the office of President as of October 1, 2007. Mr. Singh was born in the United States while his Indian parents were vacationing at Niagara Falls, NY, thus making him eligible for the position. He will receive a salary of $320 (USD) a month, but no health coverage or other benefits.

It is believed that Mr. Singh will be able to handle his job responsibilities without a support staff. Due to the time difference between the US and India, he will be working primarily at night. "Working nights will allow me to keep my day job at the Dell Computer call center," stated Mr. Singh in an exclusive interview. "I am excited about this position. I always hoped I would be President." A Congressional spokesperson noted that while Mr. Singh may not be fully aware of all the issues involved in the office of President, this should not be a problem as President Bush had never been familiar with the issues either.

Mr. Singh will rely upon a script tree that will enable him to respond effectively to most topics of concern. Using these canned responses, he can address common concerns without having to understand the underlying issue at all. "We know these scripting tools work," stated the spokesperson. "President Bush has used them successfully for years, with the result that some people actually thought he knew what he was talking about."

Bush will receive health coverage, expenses, and salary until his final day of employment. Following a two week waiting period, he will be eligible for $140 a week unemployment for 13 weeks. Unfortunately he will not be eligible for Medicaid, as his unemployment benefits will exceed the allowed limit. Mr. Bush has been provided with the outplacement services of Manpower, Inc. to help him write a resume and prepare for his upcoming job transition. According to Manpower, Mr. Bush may have difficulties in securing a new position due to a lack of any successful work experience during his lifetime. A Greeter position at Wal-Mart was suggested due to Bush's extensive experience at shaking hands, as well as his special smile.

[GMichael]

Maybe we could farm out all of congress.
Then we could do the same with our media.

[Mr Peabody]

Amen! Wouldn't that be poetic justice. Most people are aware of the outsourcing of jobs but I doubt most realize how much Bush has done to outsource government jobs even when the cost savings are not there and at risk to the general public. It's very interesting that right after 9/11 Bush's big thing was to Federalize airport security because government imployees do a better job but now he is hell bent on outsourcing government jobs. I guess his croanies are calling in their markers. Bush is also doing all he can to bust the government imployees unions and he is definitely not for the union in the private sector either. The U.S. jobs market is only at 6% belonging to a union which is a drastic drop from the past. At one time about 10 to 15 years ago we were at 35%. I would urge anyone who is fortunate enough to still have a union to support it.

[trollgirl]

How about making the office of President, Vice-Pres, Senator, Representative, etc. up to a lottery? Pay some money, buy a ticket, get a chance to be a political figure. It would enrich the treasury, bust the entrenched power interests, eliminate divisive political parties, and give government back to the people. It would be far superior to a mere democrazy, er, democracy. What do you think?

Laz

[Rich-n-Texas]

Impeach Cheney!

[Mr Peabody]

Rich, I think you are disqualified from commenting as Texas is a sovereign nation.

What kind of democracy is it when a father and son have been president, a president's wife is senator and could very well be president if enough psychos vote that way.