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  1. #1
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    A close encounter of the wild kind....

    I stopped by PA last night to see if our electric was hooked up yet. I walked around the corner of the house. My first thought was, "wow, one of my new neighbors must have a very large dog who got loose." Then he stood up on his hind legs. OK, it's not a dog. It's a 6+ foot, 300+ pound black bear that I am now nose to nose with. We both freeze and stand there looking at each other. He was only 2 or 3 feet away at the most. I hadn't panicked yet, but the crazy voices inside my head decided that this was a good time for a discussion.
    First voice: (I don't think this guy gets it yet. Maybe he was still in friendly dog mode.) What a beautiful animal. Look at how clean and shiny his fur is. And he seems scared. Maybe I should talk to him and pet him.
    Second voice: Are you freaking crazy!? Look at the size of those claws. How'sabout you get your @ss out of here and take me with you.
    Third voice: Don't run. He'll chase you down.
    Fourth voice: Don't look him in the eye. He'll think it's a challenge.
    I wasn't able to look away. Maybe part of me thought that if this guy was going to rip me apart, I should watch. But I did manage to slowly take a half step back with my right foot. This is when the bear turned and ran into the woods. Seemed like a great idea to me, so I ran the other way. My car was about 10 or 15 feet away. I got back to it in what seemed like one giant leap. Got in the car and started it. Threw it in reverse and stomped on the gas. So now the wheels are spinning, but I'm not moving. Oh, the parking brake. Take it off. Flying down the driveway I noticed that the bear had circled around and was now in the road watching me. I put the car in drive and slowly pull back up the driveway. The bear runs into the woods across the street from me and keeps going till he's out of sight. After a few minutes I decide to go into the house. Get out of the car and walk around that same corner again. As I'm going up the stairs to the deck one of my voices starts talking again. I think it was voice number 2. He said, "Now you're out in the open. You're trapped. You better get in the house fast. What's that noise? Is that him? HURRY!" My hands were shaking as I tried to get the key in the door. I must have paced around in that empty house for 20 minutes going from window to window looking for another bear. Some girl walked past the house with her small dog on a leash. I stepped out the front door and told her about the bear. She didn't seem concerned at all and kept walking. She must have thought, "Another stupid New Yorker who's never seen a bear."

    WHAT HAVE I DONE?
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  2. #2
    If you can't run-walk. Bernd's Avatar
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    Don't say you didn't like my House warming present.

    Peace

    Bernd
    "Let The Earth Bear Witness."

  3. #3
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bernd
    Don't say you didn't like my House warming present.

    Peace

    Bernd
    Oh I loved it. A little adrenaline never hurt anyone.

    Thanks,
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  4. #4
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Where the hell was your camera man?! You show us a gazillion pictures of the new house in all its stages, but no bear pictures?

    You should talk to some of your new neighbours to see whether that's a common occurance. I don't think that bears typically attack humans unless they feel threatened or there's something wrong with them. You should probably notify the local authorities anyway, just to let them know that there's a bear in the vicinity so that they can check it out and make sure that everyone stays safe.

    I remember, several years ago, when my cousin lived in B.C. just 10 minutes away from a very large provincial park. They were woken up one morning by their dogs who were barking like crazy. When they got up to investigate, they found a Mama bear and Baby up in their tree. They called the RCMP who came, along with Park Rangers, to tranquilize the bears and take them back into the park. Your bear may just have wandered off from somewhere and may need help getting back home.

    Oh yeah...HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!

  5. #5
    Forum Regular KaiWinters's Avatar
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    "Some" bears are becoming more accustomed to the presence of humans for several reasons...dwindling habitat and easy pickings...mmmm love those Boston Market leftovers don't you BooBoo.
    Acting calm rather than aggressive or manic and backing away slowly is the prescribed way to handle the situation you found yourself in but these are "wild" animals and they seldom read the same books or watch the same shows on DiscoveryHD or Animal Planet so it is a coin toss.

    Basically you did the right thing and also got lucky.
    You should have called the Police to report the animal.
    No one should want a bear hanging around their "hood". It is a wild animal...third time I have said that...and should be in its' element not ours...that is very dangerous for all.
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  6. #6
    Big science. Hallelujah. noddin0ff's Avatar
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    I hear that they never forget a face...

  7. #7
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Whenever camping I use Big Black Mariah off of Tom Waits' Big Time album. It seems to be very effective bear repellent...
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
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  8. #8
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    Where the hell was your camera man?! You show us a gazillion pictures of the new house in all its stages, but no bear pictures?

    You should talk to some of your new neighbours to see whether that's a common occurance. I don't think that bears typically attack humans unless they feel threatened or there's something wrong with them. You should probably notify the local authorities anyway, just to let them know that there's a bear in the vicinity so that they can check it out and make sure that everyone stays safe.

    I remember, several years ago, when my cousin lived in B.C. just 10 minutes away from a very large provincial park. They were woken up one morning by their dogs who were barking like crazy. When they got up to investigate, they found a Mama bear and Baby up in their tree. They called the RCMP who came, along with Park Rangers, to tranquilize the bears and take them back into the park. Your bear may just have wandered off from somewhere and may need help getting back home.

    Oh yeah...HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sorry, didn't think of the camera at the time. I could take pics of the brown spot on my shorts if you like.

    Everyone in this town has bear shaped mailboxes, statues, welcome mats etc. They even have special days to celebrate. (Bear day?) I get the feeling that this is common. The lady I talked to didn't seem to care.

    It's good to be alive!
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  9. #9
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaiWinters
    "Some" bears are becoming more accustomed to the presence of humans for several reasons...dwindling habitat and easy pickings...mmmm love those Boston Market leftovers don't you BooBoo.
    Acting calm rather than aggressive or manic and backing away slowly is the prescribed way to handle the situation you found yourself in but these are "wild" animals and they seldom read the same books or watch the same shows on DiscoveryHD or Animal Planet so it is a coin toss.

    Basically you did the right thing and also got lucky.
    You should have called the Police to report the animal.
    No one should want a bear hanging around their "hood". It is a wild animal...third time I have said that...and should be in its' element not ours...that is very dangerous for all.
    I did see another bear a few weeks ago, while I was driving. But it was several miles out of town. Thought I'd be safe(r) sense I'm right in town.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  10. #10
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noddin0ff
    I hear that they never forget a face...
    That's fair. I'll never forget his either.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  11. #11
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    Whenever camping I use Big Black Mariah off of Tom Waits' Big Time album. It seems to be very effective bear repellent...
    I'll have to pick that up.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  12. #12
    Big science. Hallelujah. noddin0ff's Avatar
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    I bet he circled around so he could get your license number too!

  13. #13
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Due to prompting from you guys, and people I work with, I called the local authorities about the bear. They asked if the bear was destroying anything or hurting anyone. I said no. "Then leave the bears alone. They have to survive too. Just make sure that you don't leave any garbage outside." "Where did you see him?" "Oh, yeah. There are plenty of bears over in that area. Just leave them alone."

    Okay dokey pal. You've got a deal.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  14. #14
    Da Dragonball Kid L.J.'s Avatar
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    ...................Well I guess it's OK to laugh now

  15. #15
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    Due to prompting from you guys, and people I work with, I called the local authorities about the bear. They asked if the bear was destroying anything or hurting anyone. I said no. "Then leave the bears alone. They have to survive too. Just make sure that you don't leave any garbage outside." "Where did you see him?" "Oh, yeah. There are plenty of bears over in that area. Just leave them alone."

    Okay dokey pal. You've got a deal.
    Welcome to the neighbourhood. Consider yourself initiated.

    Now, I suggest that you go out and buy a very big and very mean dog.

  16. #16
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    Welcome to the neighbourhood. Consider yourself initiated.

    Now, I suggest that you go out and buy a very big and very mean dog.

    I thought of that too. But the dog doesn't need to be either big or mean. I once had a toy fox terrier. He was about 10 pounds and the friendliest dog I've ever had the pleasure of knowing. But if another animal came around, watch out. He chased away many dogs that were 10 times his size.
    Cute too.
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    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  17. #17
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    What a big dog thinks upon seeing a small yappy dog: "Not worth the effort. Think I'll go home and beg for a milkbone".

    What a big bear thinks upon seeing a small yappy dog: "Mmmmmmm. An appetizer".

  18. #18
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Ouch! You'd have Boo Boo eat my dog?
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  19. #19
    Kam
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    filet - o - fish Kam's Avatar
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    there's an article from a couple weeks ago about a cat that defended his home turf against a black bear and sent it running up a tree. there's a great pic of the cat staring up at the bear in the tree, and so far it hasnt been de-hoaxed, (i think?).
    in any event... holy minkey! what a welcoming to the neighborhood! can tell mr. roger's to go suck it when you got bears greeting you around the corners!

    Edit: here ya go!
    http://news.nationalgeographic.com/n...-cat-bear.html
    /create

  20. #20
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    That's not my cat. She'd run and hide behind me. She's a figgin p.ssy!
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  21. #21
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    I am just impressed that you numbered all the voices in your head. I will have to try it. Seriously I am glad your safe and your underwear unsoiled.
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  22. #22
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnMichael
    I am just impressed that you numbered all the voices in your head. I will have to try it. Seriously I am glad your safe and your underwear unsoiled.
    You must not have seen pos# 8 yet. But thanks. It's good to still be here.

    ALL the voices? Who said that 4 is all?
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  23. #23
    nerd ericl's Avatar
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    wow crazy story GMichael! Glad you didn't get mauled! And yeah, next time make sure you get him to hang around for pictures..

  24. #24
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ericl
    wow crazy story GMichael! Glad you didn't get mauled! And yeah, next time make sure you get him to hang around for pictures..
    Thanks, and sure. Any pose you'd like to see?

    Come on Boo Boo. Roll over. Play dead. Pull that small tree up and hold it over your head. Gooooooooooood Boo Boo.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  25. #25
    Can a crooner get a gig? dean_martin's Avatar
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    wow...at first I thought you were quoting a story from Reader's Digest or something. Man, I'm glad you're still with us! It must be like a Twilight Zone episode for you when you're freakin' out and all the neighbors, cops, etc. are telling YOU not to disturb the little bear.

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