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Thread: Beer joke PG13

  1. 01-11-2008, 10:43 AM #1
    GMichael
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    Beer joke PG13

    Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn`t have a lot of money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of one Euro. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the butcher`s shop and came out with one large sausage. Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don`t have any money left at all!" Murphy replied, "Don`t worry - just follow me." He went into the pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses of Jamieson Whisky. Shamus said "Now you`ve lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven`t got any money!!" Murphy replied, with a smile. "Don`t worry, I have a plan, Cheers!" They downed their Drinks. Murphy said, "OK, I`ll stick the sausage through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth." The barman noticed them, went berserk, and threw them out. They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk, all for free. At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don`t think I can do any more of this. I`m drunk and me knees are killin`me!" Murphy said, "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the third pub.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.
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  2. 01-11-2008, 11:51 AM #2
    JohnMichael
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    There are some bars you would not be thrown out. You may even get free drinks. Uh why did they need the sausage?
    JohnMichael
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  3. 01-11-2008, 11:56 AM #3
    Rich-n-Texas
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    I'm going to leave this one alone for a while.
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  4. 01-11-2008, 11:58 AM #4
    GMichael
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnMichael
    There are some bars you would not be thrown out. You may even get free drinks. Uh why did they need the sausage?
    I was expecting the punch line to be along those lines. Maybe we could write a new ending?
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.
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  5. 01-11-2008, 01:26 PM #5
    ForeverAutumn
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnMichael
    There are some bars you would not be thrown out. You may even get free drinks.
    For having a large sausage or for getting down on your knees?



    ForeverAutumn. Bad girl! Stop that!
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  6. 01-11-2008, 01:32 PM #6
    markw
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    For having a large sausage or for getting down on your knees?



    ForeverAutumn. Bad girl! Stop that!
    Something tells me that it's either.

    Along thos e lines, we had a funeral home director here that was busted for selling body parts on the black market.

    He got off because he had a good lawyer, but it cost him an arm and a leg.
    Last edited by markw; 01-11-2008 at 02:06 PM.
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  7. 01-11-2008, 02:06 PM #7
    JohnMichael
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    For having a large sausage or for getting down on your knees?



    ForeverAutumn. Bad girl! Stop that!



    You are a good comedian. Does that make me your straight man?
    JohnMichael
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  8. 01-11-2008, 02:14 PM #8
    GMichael
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    Quote Originally Posted by JohnMichael
    You are a good comedian. Does that make me your straight man?
    I don't think the transformation would be that easy.

    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.
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  9. 01-11-2008, 02:36 PM #9
    ForeverAutumn
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    ROTFLMAO! I love this place!
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  10. 01-11-2008, 06:39 PM #10
    Rich-n-Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by markw
    Along thos e lines, we had a funeral home director here that was busted for selling body parts on the black market.
    Only in New Jersey... Only in New Jersey.

    Quote Originally Posted by markw
    ...He got off because he had a good lawyer, but it cost him an arm and a leg.
    Ho ho ho... he he he... ha ha ha!!! Funny as a crutch Mark!
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