It's close enough to Friday: Joke Time!

[Justlisten2]

Irish Cream

3 Irish monks have passed all tests, except for one. It is the test of purity. So the other monks tie bells to their dicks and put them in a room with a naked chick. She dances in front of the first one, and, sure enough, he goes 'ding-ding!'

"Go take a cold shower, now!" she commands, and he goes to take a shower. So she dances in front of the next one, and, after a couple of minutes, he goes 'ding-ding!'

"Go take a cold shower with your brother!" she yells, and he leaves. Now she goes to the last one, dancing in front of him. He doesnt ring. The woman nods. "Good, you've passed. Go take a shower with your brothers."

"Ding-ding!"

Happy Holidays!!
John

[hifitommy]

Preaching To A Bear

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to
the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would
get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really
all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing
led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They
would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt
to convert it.

Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father
Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various
bandages, goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me
a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism.

Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me
around. So I quick grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary
Mother of God he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is coming out
next week to give him first communion and confirmation."
Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and
both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone
oratory he proclaimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle.
I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from
God's HOLY WORD!
But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we
began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another
until we came to a crick. So I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy
soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent
the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's Holy Word, and
praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He
was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and
out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looks up and says, "You
fellows don't know what trouble is until you try to circumcise a bear."