Round Robin Steel Cage Death Match. Which Bond in a Fair Fight?

[Worf101]

Or an unfair fight, take your pick. I'm not askin' that tired assed question, "which Bond was best"? It's Connery and all the rest are fightin' it out for second place. No, I'm askin' which Connery kicks all the others in the arse and then steals their lunch money and puts there momma on the corner?

Let the games begin.

Da Worfster

[GMichael]

A fair fight? What does that entail? No gadgets? No dirt in the eyes? What are the rules here?
Oh screw it. Connery wasn't just the best. He was the toughest. That's what made him the best. He was like, The Duke meets, A Duke.

Now, if Angelina Jolie had even been a Bond I'd have had to think a little harder.

[kexodusc]

While Connery and Moore were always my favorites, when Craig came along it became clear very early on that he could crush both of them put together. To make this poll fair, he should be left out.

Not just cause he's new, because the biggest pussy on the list has to be Brosnan, who's also recent. But because this guy looks like he can handle himself and because Craig ain't no saint. There'll be no internal moral battles being fought while he's cheating to win...seems to me he likes working with his bare hands a bit more than the others - a real man's killer.

Let's face it - after Pierce Brosnan wussed up Bond to Richard Gere-esque femininity, nobody ever thought they'd have respect for Bond again...Craig kicked the crap out of that legacy.

[Auricauricle]

George Lazenby never made it very high on my list....Then again, Telly Savalas as Blofeld was equally less than compelling. I never cared for Moore, who I though was too suave to raise a fist and had such a penchant for poor puns (oh what a hypocrite, I!) that I wrote him off nearly immediately. It didn't help that the movies were often second-rate (Moonraker was a bomb). Timothy Dalton was okay, but nothing to write home about. Brosnan wasn't that bad, kexter. I can't yet get your Gere-esqueness, but there is enough Remington Steele in the guy that he will have to spend a few more years in the dirt for me to take him very seriously. The new bond, Craig, is a different cat altogether. Craig's confluent gentleman and rogue qualities play well into the mishmash persona of Bond that Fleming referred to only fleetingly. So I"ll put him down as Connery's Mini Me.

[JSE]

In a fair fight, I think Connery would come in as the crowd favorite and probably start off with a bang due to his swagger, attitude, and mental toughness. But, pure arse-kicking skills will win out in the end and that's where I think Craig takes it from Connery. I think Craig would have too much speed and power for Connery to handle. 6th round knock out.

In an unfair fight? Connery every time. Craig seems to be more the outright better fighter in terms of skills but Connery clearly has the edge in ingenuity and would out-wit Craig by the ol' sand in the eyes trick, look over there followed by a sucker punch trick, the wait that really hurt let's rest a moment followed by a sucker punch trick, the crying followed by a sucker punch trick, the Indiana Jones just whip out a pistol and shoot him trick, the Cartman rip a nasty one and while the opponent is chocking sucker punch him trick (not that the sucker punch would even be needed at that point) or the confuse him with a overly thick Scottish accent followed by a sucker kick to the jewels trick.

[Auricauricle]

That's quite a bag-o-tricks you got there, Fatman!

[kexodusc]

Remind me not to get into into a drunken bar fight with JSE over who ate the last nacho.

[Worf101]

In a fair fight, I think Connery would come in as the crowd favorite and probably start off with a bang due to his swagger, attitude, and mental toughness. But, pure arse-kicking skills will win out in the end and that's where I think Craig takes it from Connery. I think Craig would have too much speed and power for Connery to handle. 6th round knock out.

In an unfair fight? Connery every time. Craig seems to be more the outright better fighter in terms of skills but Connery clearly has the edge in ingenuity and would out-wit Craig by the ol' sand in the eyes trick, look over there followed by a sucker punch trick, the wait that really hurt let's rest a moment followed by a sucker punch trick, the crying followed by a sucker punch trick, the Indiana Jones just whip out a pistol and shoot him trick, the Cartman rip a nasty one and while the opponent is chocking sucker punch him trick (not that the sucker punch would even be needed at that point) or the confuse him with a overly thick Scottish accent followed by a sucker kick to the jewels trick.

Your scholarly treatise on the finer points of low dirt barroom brawling confrims many (many ah say) of the suspicions I had about you Grass Skirt. I'm sure there are a few oustanding warrants floating around for you somewhere... we'll soon see....

By the by I do agree with your premise. On strength and speek alone, Craig, throw in "a trickeration situation to influence the confrontation" (done in my best Don King voiceover) and we've Connery by a nose.


Da Worfster

[kexodusc]

Your scholarly treatise on the finer points of low dirt barroom brawling confrims many (many ah say) of the suspicions I had about you Grass Skirt. I'm sure there are a few oustanding warrants floating around for you somewhere... we'll soon see....

By the by I do agree with your premise. On strength and speek alone, Craig, throw in "a trickeration situation to influence the confrontation" (done in my best Don King voiceover) and we've Connery by a nose.


Da Worfster

The Don King voice needs a bit of flamboyance, but your Don King hairdo is bang on. I'm sad to say..

On the other hand, Craig is falling behind drastically in the ever important notch-on-the-bedpost count. Which Bond is ahead in that tally?

[Auricauricle]

Connery is right on top of things as far as the Stud-o-Meter is concerned....

[GMichael]

Very punny.

[JSE]

That's quite a bag-o-tricks you got there, Fatman!

The correct term is "fatass"

Remind me not to get into into a drunken bar fight with JSE over who ate the last nacho.

A wise choice!

Your scholarly treatise on the finer points of low dirt barroom brawling confrims many (many ah say) of the suspicions I had about you Grass Skirt. I'm sure there are a few oustanding warrants floating around for you somewhere... we'll soon see....
.

I admit nothing!

[Rich-n-Texas]

You're out of control Cartman. Someone pull the nipple of your Shiner?

[Auricauricle]

Sorry about the mix-up, Mr. Snake-in-the-grass-skirt. I get distracted sometimes. Especially when there's a bug-eyed perv who reads a pun in nearly every ejaculation I publish. Rich, that sort of imagery gives me the willies....I told you about my friend and colleague. Now go to your corner b'fore I open this can....

[bobsticks]

He said "ejaculation".

[bobsticks]

...FTW!!!

celebrity jeopardy 4
Uploaded by siul11

But not really...

[3-LockBox]

As has already been stated, Craig may have more skill, but Connery had skill and wit and would've done whatever it took to win.

[RoyY51]

...David Niven in the original Casino Royale.

[nightflier]

Yeah, but Niven wasn't exactly Bond material. Connery, with a vengeance. I agree that Craig has balls (apparently swollen ones), but Connery is just a little less nice and yet still more classy.

[Auricauricle]

Connery wears a kilt.....

[Wits]

I've never seen Craig perform so I can't compare him obviously. Thinking back over all of the 007 movies I've seen I can remember Sean Connery in many tough physical confrontations; the others, not so much. Considering that Connery was the first Bond, this either means that I remember more about him because he was the first, or I remember more because he did more. I'm betting on the latter.

[thekid]

I'd take Connery if they were fighting in a corner where he could overpower Craig. Short of that Craig's quickness and apparent mastery of hand to hand combat wins the day. Connery was just a straight up puncher with that occasional lam karate chop to the back of the neck. Craig would dance around him slip in a few kicks and when Connery wears out Craig takes him down. All the others aren;t in the conversation though Dalton might have been tough but his movies were somewhat washed out.

[Auricauricle]

Connery wears a kilt!

[topspeed]

Anyone that can survive what Craig did while "seated" has my vote. Connery may be trickier, but Craig would simply outlast him. If you can't bring a guy down after smashing his...uh, excuse me while I unwind from the fetal position...well, let's just say he's tough enough to win.

[nightflier]

Connery wears a kilt!

...he'd still kick Craig's ass.

And as far as cracking jokes while his privates are being pounded, I think Connery would be just as likely to be cracking jokes throughout the ordeal. On that front... end... whatever, I say they're about even.

But in a down and out brawl, Connery would come out ahead, have something witty to say about it afterward, and still manage to bring home a suggestive souvenir for Money Penny. Craig couldn't, or wouldn't, do all that.