The worst CD I've heard in 2003

[Jim Clark]

Browsing throught the library looking for some jazz starter discs and I see the Lisa Marie Presely's "To Whom It May Concern" disc. I went ahead and borrowed it out of curiousity. Now I know how the cat died.

Honestly the CD has some good music on it. Not much, but some. If you had a Kareoke feature on your CD player you could have some fun creating your own lyrics and be confident that the vocals couldn't possibly be any worse. This girl can't sing a lick. It's almost scary as she changes voice in the middle of a phrase. Clearly she has no natural range and her attempts to fake it are disasterous to point of actually being funny. Her attempts at a deep, sultry voice sound like something out of a horror movie and more closely resembles a growl than singing. To make things worse is that at that point the lyrics are completely unintelligible.

The songwriting has to be even worse than the singing. I guess she chose to bare her soul but she'd be better served by covering up. Her life to date is so comical that she has become a characature. Listening to the words that you can decipher ring pretty hollow when you realize that this oddball brought a lot of it on herself. Sorry Lisa Marie but I don't feel real sorry for you and I'm sure it's comforting to know that when the rock star thing doesn't work out you'll still be able to pay the bills. BTW, if you're out there, whoever told you that you could sing wasn't really a friend.

What crapola have you guys come across lately?

Regards as always,
jc

[tugmcmartin]

I think the worst thing i've heard in a while has to be Chris Robinson's "new" solo album. I think its called "New Earth Mud" or something like that (can't remember since i've only listened to it twice and haven't layed eyes on it in weeks). What a bunch of crap that thing is. All kinds of sappy, dopey, "i'm in love with Kate Hddson" lyrics. And the music ain't that great either. Biggest waste of money on music in probably 5 years for me. Which is kind of surprising since i've taken more than a few flyers on some albums lately, picking them with having nothing to judge them on aside from artist name. Most turn out okay, but Robinson's new one sucks monkey ass.

T-

[chrisnz]

I tried a couple of duds this week.

Bhangra - The best Indian beats from the streets. Kewl thinks I, the next Talvin Singh or Nitin Sawhney! Not... this is straight Indian pop and dreary bollix it is too.

Mogwai - Happy songs for happy people. Mogwai are Godspeeds retarded half brother and I guess I must be a sandwich short of a picnic to keep bothering with them. Do they do melody? Hell no! How about those great GYBE dynamics, surging crescendos and such like? No way, you can almost feel them thinking "Hmmm must be time for a noisy bit. Right lads...!" You do get vocals... sort of. So heavily processed that meaning and talent are sidestepped. They do have great influences, Velvets, Sonic Youth, bang on politics and lots of black clothing. It's not enough. Moose schlong and hippos bollocks.

Chris.

[Dusty Chalk]

Mogwai - Happy songs for happy people. Mogwai are Godspeeds retarded half brother and I guess I must be a sandwich short of a picnic to keep bothering with them. Do they do melody? Hell no!

Aw, man, I love that album.

Maybe your problem is comparing them to GYBE...perhaps judging them on their own terms would be better? I hear melody, though, so maybe we're just listening to two different albums...

[Umrswimr]

Now I know how the cat died.
jc

[chrisnz]

[QUOTE= I hear melody, though, so maybe we're just listening to two different albums...[/QUOTE]

Hi Dusty, you're just too kind to musos who don't deserve it and you're confusing noodling with tchoons. Just let your hair down and savage something :-) Kinda liberating.

Have you discovered how to have the board threads displayed in all their glory when you log in? Hows about "ignore this poster". Gonna be a real pleasure putting the mute on that worthless geriatric tosser YECH.

Chris.

[Dusty Chalk]

Hi Dusty, you're just too kind to musos who don't deserve it and you're confusing noodling with tchoons. Just let your hair down and savage something :-) Kinda liberating.

I'll give it a try, but it's so ingrained, that it's kind of subconscious. It's like asking me to make my heart skip a beat.

Have you discovered how to have the board threads displayed in all their glory when you log in?

No! I didn't think that was possible.

Hows about "ignore this poster".

L, yeah!

[tentoze]

What crapola have you guys come across lately?

Regards as always,
jc

Hands down pick for me is Ed Harcourt's recent release, whatever it was called. I call it Dreadful.