Are you epileptic?

[Finch Platte]

Then beware of Bowie's new Reality Tour DVD.

Someone got a camera effects machine for their birthday, and used every feature available to record this show, even saving up 2,300 boxtops to get the bonus pack of 500 more effects. This is the choppiest video I've ever seen. No camera shot lingers on anything for over a second, causing you to wonder about the proximity of the mixdown studio to a Starbucks.

Effects galore- fades, splashes, hand cams, crotch cams, blender cams, strafe cam, a googol of multi-colored light bulbs, explosions, vibrator cams! Flashbacks! Street scenes intercut with jittery fingers on a keyboard! Zoom in!! Zoom out!! This is a concert version of a Robin Williams' interview.

Produced by Blink TV. That's appropriate.

Look at this setlist! Recorded November 2003, in Dublin, Ireland. All but one of your favorites in one place!!

1. Rebel Rebel
2. New Killer Star
3. Reality
4. Fame
5. Cactus
6. Sister Midnight
7. Afraid
8. All The Young Dudes
9. Be My Wife
10. The Loneliest Guy
11. The Man Who Sold The World
12. Fantastic Voyage
13. Hallo Spaceboy
14. Sunday
15. Under Pressure
16. Life On Mars
17. Battle For Britain (this was typed on Tower's site as Battle For Brain)
18. Ashes to Ashes
19. The Motel
20. Loving the Alien
21. Never Get Old
22. Changes
23. I'm Afraid Of Americans
24. Heroes
25. Bring Me the Disco King
26. Slip Away
27. Heathen
28. 5 Years
29. Hang On To Yourself
30. Ziggy Stardust

Nope. No Space Oddity. Awwwww....

Packed into almost 140 minutes, this DVD begs the question- when do these old guys/gals go to the bathroom?

Sound is good (in stereo), but not great. The two guitarists (Gerry Leonard and Earl Slick) are often buried in the mix. I'm wondering what this DVD would sound like if I had a surround system and could take advantage of the 5.1 mix.

If you were hoping to see what kind of gear the musicians are using, may The Force be with you. I strained in vain to catch a glimpse of what kind of kit drummer Sterling Campbell was playing, but could only see one K Zildjian cymbal. Ziggy plays a ?? guitar. The Kurtzweil keyboard logo appears prominently in several shots. This kind of video makes me wish they would release a version for musicians- with shots of the equipment they use, with interviews with the players, etc. Press the menu button and watch the drummer for the whole show, if you're so reclined.

Gail Ann Dorsey on bass is a standout, laying down solid bass lines throughout the show. She assumes Freddie Mercury's vocals in a hot duet w/ Bowie on Under Pressure. Smokin'! This is one of the highlights of this disc for me, and the first time I've heard Under Pressure all the way through.

Not many bonus features. Choice between 5.1 or stereo sound. Discography. And oooh, Publishing Credits! Woah. Simmer down, now.

Bowie looks like he's having a good time, and his voice is strong. Nice harmonies, thanks to everyone in the cast chipping in on singing duties. Someone needs to tell Bowie that when you're 50+ years old, sleeveless T's aren't exactly the most flattering style to wear, especially when you haven't exercised for many of those 50+ years. Remember when your 5th grade teacher wrote on the blackboard, and the fleshy bits of her arm would flap? Yup.

Joe Bob sez: Two thumbs sideways.

It's worth the 56 cents I paid for it, after trading in a couple of used CDs at Tower. I think you mere mortals could pick it up on sale for $9.99. If you're a die-hard Bowie fan, you'll buy it and like it. If you're not, try to rent it or borrow it.

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Disclaimer: This is a music video, and that's why I have posted this "review" here, in the music forum.