• 09-02-2004, 06:56 PM
    Finch Platte
    Top 10 reasons lurkers don't register.
    10) They can't put a funny quip under their avatars. Why bother registering?

    9) Boring white background blinds newbies- they don't know about the special dark glasses every new registrant receives.

    8) Hurricane Charley, now Frances. Hey, it worked for Chip...

    7) No comps on 8-tracks? WTF?

    6) Even the moderators don't proofread. "We'd love you have you."??

    5) Too many chicks.

    4) No RR jerseys??

    3) Troy drank all the gin and double-dipped the chips at the 'Meet The Newbies' party. Music by Porcupine Tree, of course.

    2) Two words- YECH. Banned.

    1) Someone told them you have to accept one of my comps upon entering.

    Let's hear yours!

    fp
  • 09-02-2004, 08:26 PM
    Dusty Chalk
    On a serious note (I know, boring) -- I wouldn't be surprised if one of the reasons they see lurkers is because people who are registered are just not signing in. I know I do that all the time when my cookies accidentally get et.
  • 09-02-2004, 09:33 PM
    Chip_B
    10. They don't know math from twee

    9. Their woofers are too small

    8. The food here is worse than at an Arkansas middle school cafeteria on mystery meat day

    7. Prog bands like Spock's Porcupine and Tree Beard confuse them, though I believe some are aware that the latter was a talking plant that killed evil wizards

    6. Months go by with no Christopher Cross threads

    5. They can't think of a catchy moniker like 'Jim Clark', 'BarryL', or 'Chip_B'

    4. They don't feel like shaking their skinny fists at African royalty

    3. The cat-with-the-lime-on-its-head avatar has already been taken, so what's the use?

    2. Canadians are allowed to participate without adult supervision

    1. They're afraid Finch will send them his Best of the Backstreet Boys--Hot Hits for Cool Chicks! comp
  • 09-03-2004, 10:06 AM
    ForeverAutumn
    10. Don't want to lose their LurkerHipsterElitistSnob cred.

    9. Too much mountain bike talk

    8. Could never catch up to Davey's avatar collection, so why try.

    7. Not enough chicks!

    6. Not enough Canadians!

    5. They don't understand why we haven't figured out yet that The Musical Box is just a cover band, man.

    4. If they wait until January to register, they won't have to buy us all Christmas presents.

    3. No real prizes for the silly "name the pets" contests.

    2. They miss the old board and are protesting the new.

    1. They don't understand that ...you will know us by the trail of dead, is the name of a band and not really how they will know us!
  • 09-03-2004, 11:00 AM
    3-LockBox
    Or maybe its...
    10. Not enough classic rock talk

    9. No more posts involving overt sexual inuendo (snowbunny---where are you?)

    8. Music is too subjective a subject and cannot be measured for accuracy (Did you really hear it?)

    7. Not enough of those funny lovable drunks posting anymore

    6. Its too easy to trace IP numbers

    5. Lurkers come here wanting to start REO Speedwagon or Journey thread, and hopes are immediately dashed

    4. Lurker just recieved volume 36 of Timasheen and realizes that he's too far out of the loop

    3. Too much emphasis on music, no mention of equipment (whazzup wit dat?)

    2. There really aren't any lurkers

    1. Some a**hole named 3LB keeps posting lame reviews on albums no one wants know about anyway
  • 09-03-2004, 12:45 PM
    Jim Clark
    10. They're all named Jim Clark and that moniker is already taken. That SOB even took jc.

    09. What's a Yech?

    08. There hasn't been a good comp since "Biker Rock" so who cares.

    07. Afraid of what their postage bill might look like.

    06. Thought Rave Recs was about music for the nightly rave parties.

    05. They actually have a "real" life. Nah.

    04. Will register when they finally finish their Modern Rock comp. But can't decide if it's OK to rip "hot" tracks off a "hot" album. Decisions, decisions...

    03. What the H is a Lali Puna anyway???

    02. Afraid Finch will want to send them a comp.

    01. They tried to register but the freaking page took too long to load!


    Lamely submitted by:
    -jc-
  • 09-03-2004, 03:09 PM
    DarrenH
    10. Afraid if Finch sends them a comp with the word "Sucks" at the end of it, that it actually might.

    09. Found out that a comp from Finch with the word "Sucks" at the end of it, actually did.

    08. Not enough prog talk.

    07. Too much prog talk.

    06. How the H do you pronounce Alamaailman Vasarat and what devil is it?

    05. Was disappointed to find out that Jethro Tull wasn't an actual member of the band.

    04. Thought Bjork was a Robin Williams spin off.

    03. Tried to load the page.......grew old and died.

    02. The Bonzo Dog Band just doesn't get enough respect.

    And the number 1 reason:

    01. Thought Sleepytime Gorilla Museum was a childrens record and dismissed this group for a bunch of pansies.
  • 09-05-2004, 06:06 PM
    Swish
    Hey Jimbo, regarding your number 06....
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Jim Clark
    10. They're all named Jim Clark and that moniker is already taken. That SOB even took jc.

    09. What's a Yech?

    08. There hasn't been a good comp since "Biker Rock" so who cares.

    07. Afraid of what their postage bill might look like.

    06. Thought Rave Recs was about music for the nightly rave parties.

    05. They actually have a "real" life. Nah.

    04. Will register when they finally finish their Modern Rock comp. But can't decide if it's OK to rip "hot" tracks off a "hot" album. Decisions, decisions...

    03. What the H is a Lali Puna anyway???

    02. Afraid Finch will want to send them a comp.

    01. They tried to register but the freaking page took too long to load!


    Lamely submitted by:
    -jc-

    I remember when some chick from Wash. D.C. posted about a rave party, thinking this was actually a site that was about, you guessed it, rave parties. I wonder if anyone else remembers that? I'm not sure about this part, but I think it may have been the same day I discovered this site. I wish I could figure out when I first found this place. I think it was at least 5 or 6 years ago. I guess I have to do a little research to figure that one out.

    Swish.
  • 09-05-2004, 09:07 PM
    Dusty Chalk
    Actually, there have been several such incidents.
  • 03-20-2008, 08:02 AM
    Finch Platte
    Bump. :p

    There's some pretty good ones here.

    fp
  • 03-20-2008, 08:18 AM
    GMichael
    WTF!? Where did this thread come from? Was this one of the 6 from LOST?
  • 03-20-2008, 08:29 AM
    GMichael
    10) Some people would rather watch.
    9) They don't know anything about Rush.
    8) They are afraid to post something in RR that should be in another section.
    7) FA chased them away accusing them of stalking her.
    6) They don't want to get caught up in all the name calling.
    5) They read good but type with a lisp.
    4) They are afraid that newcomers must send comps to all the regs.
    3) They are afraid that all the regs will send comps to them.
    2) They are not sure if they are gear heads or software hounds.
    1) They have actually read some of my posts and decided that there's no intelligent life here.
  • 03-20-2008, 09:56 AM
    Brett A
    1. Frightened by talk about “skin effect”
    2. Concerned that the unicorn avatar and ‘Sugar Poodle’ moniker will lead to identity theft
    3. Don’t have a keyboard
    4. Have everything all figured out---just checking to see how the rest of us are doing
    5. Wife might think they’re cheating
    6. Not really interested in audio, just doing research on the cultural tension between objectivists and subjectivists.
    7. Concerned registering might be a gateway drug to posting
    8. Waiting for someone to post something they have an opinion about
    9. “Doesn’t play well with others”
    10. Afraid of the truth
  • 03-20-2008, 04:31 PM
    bobsticks
    10) Living life, doing something socially productive like smoking crack or sourghum farming in Paruguay.

    9) Left monitor unattended to move speakers to the required 12 feet of separation.

    8) Disheartened to find out Codecougar isn't a hot, older woman.

    7) Too busy taking advantage of free introductory period on Eric James' Midget Porn Site

    6) Revisiting old Sammy Hagar albums through powers of suggestion

    5) Just watched Season One of OZ, confused "Prog" with "Prag".

    4) Swish

    3) Disturbed at prospect of late night conversations with shirtless Rich 'n' Texas

    2) Time occupied by GoogleImaging pics of Graham Bonnet and Photoshopping goatees to see "The Secret of Finch Platte"

    1) What newb has time for registration? http://forums.audioreview.com/showth...light=speakers
  • 03-20-2008, 04:39 PM
    3-LockBox
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bobsticks
    1) What newb has time for registration? http://forums.audioreview.com/showth...light=speakers

    I remember that one...geez, the guy asks a simple question and he's ragged on.













    ;)
  • 03-20-2008, 05:49 PM
    Swish
    Eric James has a Midget Porn Site?
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bobsticks
    10) Bobsticks
    9) Bobsticks
    8) Bobsticks

    7) Too busy taking advantage of free introductory period on Eric James' Midget Porn Site

    6) Bobsticks
    5) Bobsticks
    4) Bobsticks
    3) Bobsticks
    2) Bobsticks
    1) Bobsticks

    http://forums.audioreview.com/showth...light=speakers

    I didn't know that.

    Swish
  • 03-21-2008, 05:36 AM
    Hyfi
    I like his profile
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Swish
    I didn't know that.

    Swish

    I guess I should add to my profile that I am Heterosexual and have a partner. That is pretty important stuff for us all to know.

    He is definitely Spanking something....his own monkey?
  • 03-21-2008, 06:49 AM
    nobody
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bobsticks
    7) Too busy taking advantage of free introductory period on Eric James' Midget Porn Site

    Link please.

    You won't be seeing me for a while.
  • 03-21-2008, 12:25 PM
    getmore1956
    if you think the arkansas mystery meat is bad you should see the "raisin pie"