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  1. #1
    Can a crooner get a gig? dean_martin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Lower AL

    songs that make you laugh

    I was listening to Tom Waits' Rain Dogs the other night and when Cemetery Polka came on I started laughing. Waits' delivery and lyrics are effectively comedic.

    Is there a song that makes you laugh?

  2. #2
    42 Regular
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    West of the fields, long gone

    Well Frank settled down in the Valley
    and hung his wild years
    on a nail that he drove through
    his wife's forehead
    he sold used office furniture
    out there on San Fernando Road
    and assumed a $30,000 loan
    at 15 1/4 % and put down payment
    on a little two bedroom place

    His wife was a spent piece of used jet trash
    made good bloody marys
    kept her mouth shut most of the time
    had a little Chihuahua named Carlos
    that had some kind of skin disease
    and was totally blind.
    They had a thoroughly modern kitchen
    self-cleaning oven (the whole bit).
    Frank drove a little sedan
    they were so happy.

    One night Frank was on his way home
    from work, stopped at the liquor store,
    picked up a couple Mickey's Big Mouths
    drank 'em in the car on his way
    to the Shell station, he got a gallon of
    gas in a can, drove home, doused
    everything in the house, torched it,
    parked across the street, laughing,
    watching it burn, all Halloween
    orange and chimney red then
    Frank put on a top forty station
    got on the Hollywood Freeway headed north.

    Never could stand that dog.
    Mr. MidFi
    Master of the Obvious

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    Alice's Restaurant

  4. #4
    Stainmaster Finch Platte's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Ween, Big Jilm.

  5. #5
    Can a crooner get a gig? dean_martin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Lower AL
    Mr. Midfi, thanks for those lyrics. Here are the lyrics (as best as I can discern) from Cemetery Polka:

    "Cemetery Polka"
    Uncle Vernon
    Uncle Vernon
    Independent as a
    Hog on ice
    He's a big shot down there
    At the slaughterhouse
    He plays accordion
    For Mr.Weiss

    Uncle Biltmore and
    Uncle William
    Made a
    Million during
    World War II
    But they're tightwads
    And they're
    And they'll never
    Give a dime to you

    Auntie Mame
    Has gone
    Inside (insane?)
    She lives in
    The doorway of an old hotel
    And the
    Radio's playing opera and
    All she ever says
    Is go to Hell.

    Uncle Violet
    Flew as a pilot
    He said there
    Ain't no pretty
    Girls in France
    Now he runs a
    Tidy little
    Bookie joint they say
    He never
    Keeps it in his pants

    Uncle Bill
    Will never leave a will
    And the tumor is as
    Big as an egg
    He has a mistress
    She's Puerto Rican
    And I heard she has
    A wooden leg.

    Uncle Phil
    Can't live without his pills
    He has emphysema and
    He's almost blind
    And we must find out
    Where the money is
    Get it now
    Before he loses his mind

    Repeat First Verse

  6. #6
    Forum Regular
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    You guys gotta check this one out, I heard it and bought the LP back in the 70's, the band is called Supercharge and thankfully, someone put it up on YouTube:

    She Moved The Dishes First - YouTube

  7. #7
    Rocket Surgeon Swish's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Martin Mull has to have among the funniest songs ever written. Now granted he was a comedian and supposed to be funny, but he really takes it to a different level.

    Martin Mull - Humming Song (Very Funny) - YouTube
    I call my bathroom Jim instead of John so I can tell people that I go to the Jim first thing every morning.

    If you say the word 'gullible' very slowly it sounds just like oranges.

  8. #8
    Forum Regular
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Greenskeepers - Lotion
    Marantz SR-7000
    Von Schweikert VR-1
    Denon 2910
    Pioneer PDP-5020

  9. #9
    Can a crooner get a gig? dean_martin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Lower AL
    2 more:

    The Rolling Stones' "Far Away Eyes" from Some Girls
    Snoop Dogg's "Lodi Dodi"

  10. #10
    3LB is offline
    cunning linguist 3LB's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    hiding out in treetops, shouting out rude names
    Lavender by Marillion. No, it isn't intended to be funny, but then again, some of the best comedy is unintentional. I know it was a minor hit for them but yikes, what a bad song for a rock band of any ilk. It'd be different if Paul McCartney or the elven Jon Anderson attempted that level of schmultz, because they always have. Marillion gave it their sincerest progrock grandeur treatment. The video is worse; Fish at the helm, he with his thinning power mullet and bangs that start at the crown of his head, comes across as a sketch comedy show parody.

    Anything sung by Leonard Nimoy.
    Repost this on your wall if you love Jesus.

  11. #11
    Rae is offline
    a golden ball of light Rae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    Minneapolis, MN

    Loosen Up - The Nazz - YouTube

    The images in that video seem unrelated to the song.


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