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That Bad Lyrics Thread.
It occurred to me that Paul McCartney, while writing or co-writing some truly great songs with solid lyrics (A Day in the Life) while in the Beatles, he has also written some of the worst pablum with some of the lamest lyrics while on his own. Here are a couple of strong examples;
Someone's knockin' at the door, someone's ringing the bell, do me a favor, open the door and let him in.
Ebony and ivory, Live together in perfect harmony, Side by side on my piano keyboard,
Oh Lord why don't we?
While those two make me want to stick pins in my eyes, here's one that could possibly be the most contrived piece 'o crap ever to make it on a record;
Hello you fool I love you, c'mon join the joyride
Hit the road out of nowhere, had to jump in my car
Be a rider in the love game, following the stars
Don't need no book of wisdom, I get no money-talk at all
She has a train going downtown, she's got a club on the moon
And she's telling all her secrets in a wonderful balloon
She's the heart of the funfair, she got me whistling her private tune
And it all begins where it ends
And she's all my, my magic friend...
She says "Hello you fool I love you, c'mon join the joyride,
Join the joyride"
She's a flower - I can paint her, she's a child of the sun
We're a part of this together, could never turn around and run
Don't need no fortune teller to know where my lucky love belongs, oh no.
Cause it all begins again when it ends
And we're all magic friends...
She says "Hello you fool I love you, c'mon join the joyride,
Join the joyride"
She says "Hello you fool I love you, c'mon join the joyride,
Be a joyrider"
I'll take you on a skyride, feeling like you're spellbound
Sunshine is a la-dy - rocks you like a baby
She says "Hello you fool I love you, c'mon join the joyride,
Join the joyride"
Hello you fool I love you, c'mon join the joyride, join the joyride
Hello, hello you fool I love you,
C'mon, c'mon join the joyride, be a joyrider
Roxette!
Can you top that? I didn't think so.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Swish
Can you top that? I didn't think so.
Oh yeah, s</>hitty lyrics and s</>hitty song:
I tried to kill the pain (kill the pain)
But only brought more (so much more)
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
(Return to me salvation)
(Ohhhhhh)
(I want to die)
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied?
Christ? (Christ)
Tourniquet
My suicide
(Return to me salvation)
(Return to me salvation)
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I always had to laugh at Clouds in your Coffee where the line says
"Your so vain, you probably think this song is about you"
Well, isn't it?
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We sit in the car outside your house
I can feel the heat coming 'round
I go to put my arm around you
and you give me a look like I'm way out of bounds
well you let out one of your bored sighs
Well lately when I look into your eyes
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
We get dressed up and we go out, baby, for the night
We come home early burning, burning in some fire fight
I'm sick and tired of you setting me up
Setting me up just to knock-a knock-a knock-a me down, down, down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I pull you close but when we kiss I can feel a doubt
I remember back when we started
My kisses used to turn you inside out
I used to drive you to work in the morning
Friday night I'd drive you all around
You used to love to drive me wild
But lately girl you get your kicks from just driving me down, down, down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
I'm goin down, down, down
I'm goin' down, down down
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..................
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The Indigo Girls have done some good work in the past...but this clunker from their 1st disc reads like some pretentious 17-year-old girl trying to get in touch with her "sensitive side"...
During the time of which I speak it was hard to turn the other cheek
To the blows of insecurity
Feeding the cancer of my intellect the blood of love soon neglected
Lay dying in the strength of its impurity...
[and then later on in the same song]
Rain soaked and voice choked like silent screaming in a dream
I search for our absolute distinction
Not content to bow and bent
To the whims of culture that swoop like vultures
Eating us away, eating us away
Eating us away to our extinction
Oh how I wish I were a trinity, so if I lost a part of me
I'd still have two of the same to live...
Yeesh.
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Wow, that Indigo Girls tune was bad...
I can remember taking poetry in grade 12 where we had some intern teacher take over the class. Typical acid-wash wearin' ponytailed douchebag. One night the homework he gave us was to write some analysis on a poem I later discovered was Judas Priest's Turbo Lover:
You won't hear me, But you'll feel me
Without warning, something's dawning, listen.
Then within your senses,
You'll know you're defenseless
How your heart beats, when you run for cover
You can't retreat, I spy like no other.
Then we race together. We can ride forever.
Wrapped in horse-power, driving into fury
Changing gear I pull you tighter to me.
I'm your turbo lover.
Tell me there's no other.
I'm your turbo lover.
Better run for cover.
We hold each other closer, as we shift to overdrive
And everything goes rushing by, with every nerve alive
We move so fast it seems as though we've taken to the sky
Love machines in harmony, we hear the engines cry.
I'm your turbo lover.
Tell me there's no other.
I'm your turbo lover.
Better run for cover.
On and on we're charging to the place so many seek
In perfect synchronicity of which so many speak
We feel so close to heaven in this roaring heavy load
And then in sheer abandonment, we shatter and explode
Could be wrong, but I remember I wrote it was about a loser in his 20's stalking some high school student from his Miata with the sole intent of raping her. It was funny at the time cause he had this thing going with a girl in our class.
Anyway, no Bad Lyrics thread is complete without Judas Priest. I'll let someone else pick the obligatory Dio song...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kexodusc
Oh yeah, s</>hitty lyrics and s</>hitty song:
I tried to kill the pain (kill the pain)
But only brought more (so much more)
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
(Return to me salvation)
(Ohhhhhh)
(I want to die)
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation
My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied?
Christ? (Christ)
Tourniquet
My suicide
(Return to me salvation)
(Return to me salvation)
I'm not sure what makes these lyrics so crap, aside the christian connotation. For my part, I've found a lot more crap in the atheist lyric domain...
Now for the song, it may well be bad indeed.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by audio amateur
I'm not sure what makes these lyrics so crap, aside the christian connotation. For my part, I've found a lot more crap in the atheist lyric domain...
Now for the song, it may well be bad indeed.
I don't care if a band wants to write about religion or not. Or I would have picked on Creed or something.
It's the over-the-top phony hopelessness and over-done gloomy-depressing suicide theme that comes across as so calculated and forced here. If you're gonna write crud like this, it better be real good, original, and sincere or you better learn to take the punches.
Not only that, the word tourniquet is such a clumsy, unmusical word that is used at a pivotal point of the chorus here, and it is counterproductive to the melody and song execution in this case. It's just crappy lyrics in a crappy song.
Besides, didn't Marilyn Manson write all the songs about tourniquets we needed 10 years earlier?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kexodusc
Not only that, the word tourniquet is such a clumsy, unmusical word that is used at a pivotal point of the chorus here, and it is counterproductive to the melody and song execution in this case. It's just crappy lyrics in a crappy song.
Besides, didn't Marilyn Manson write all the songs about tourniquets we needed 10 years earlier?
I... feel...
cold as a razor blade
tight as a tourniquet
dry as a funeral drum
Roger Waters can get away with it.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr MidFi
I... feel...
cold as a razor blade
tight as a tourniquet
dry as a funeral drum
Roger Waters can get away with it.
Hmmm yeah, song ideas usually are better the first few times.
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I'll see your lyrics and raise ya a video
Good Morning Starshine by Oliver
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q2wXCiZ4oc
Good morning starshine
The earth says "Hello"
You twinkle above us
We twinkle below
Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song
Gliddy glup gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo
Sabba Sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba
Early morning singing song
Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song
Gliddy glup gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo
Sabba Sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba
Early morning singing song
Singing a song, humming a song
Singing a song loving a song
Laughing a song
Sing the son, sing the song
Song the sing
Song, song, song, sing
Sing, sing, sing, song
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That's pretty gruemsome for sure, but I don't think it's as..
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3LB
I'll see your lyrics and raise ya a video
Good Morning Starshine by Oliver
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q2wXCiZ4oc
Good morning starshine
The earth says "Hello"
You twinkle above us
We twinkle below
Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song
Gliddy glup gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo
Sabba Sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba
Early morning singing song
Good morning starshine
You lead us along
My love and me as we sing
Our early morning singing song
Gliddy glup gloopy
Nibby nabby noopy la la la lo lo
Sabba Sibby sabba
Nooby abba nabba le le lo lo
Tooby ooby walla nooby abba nabba
Early morning singing song
Singing a song, humming a song
Singing a song loving a song
Laughing a song
Sing the son, sing the song
Song the sing
Song, song, song, sing
Sing, sing, sing, song
...pathetic as...
Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming
Am I too lost
To be saved?
Am I too lost?
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Just an excerpt...
Even in the hippy dippy sixties this was a bit much...
"MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again"
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markw
Even in the hippy dippy sixties this was a bit much...
"MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet, green icing flowing down
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again"
Have you ever left a cake out in the rain...I mean an entire cake?
Its bad man...really really bad
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Disqualification!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobsticks
FOUL! No fair, bro, every bad lyrics thread automagically assumes Kiss lyrics are excluded...I mean, how can anything compete with "Ooh baby, wanna put my log in your fireplace"???
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All heroes fall eventually:
Abracadabra: Steve Miller Band
I heat up, I can't cool down
You got me spinnin'
'Round and 'round
'Round and 'round and 'round it goes
Where it stops nobody knows
Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burnin' flame
Burnin' flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra
You make me hot, you make me sigh
You make me laugh, you make me cry
Keep me burnin' for your love
With the touch of a velvet glove
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra
I feel the magic in your caress
I feel magic when I touch your dress
Silk and satin, leather and lace
Black panties with an angel's face
I see magic in your eyes
I hear the magic in your sighs
Just when I think I'm gonna get away
I hear those words that you always say
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra
Every time you call my name
I heat up like a burnin' flame
Burnin' flame full of desire
Kiss me baby, let the fire get higher
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round
I heat up, I can't cool down
My situation goes 'round and 'round and ro...
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Of course, every time this subject comes up we tend to pick on the same bands and eras, but the '50s were rife with bad lyrics and dumb songs. Some of the biggest stars and legends are the most guilty. All those retarded 'dance' songs - "C'mon and do the ______."
Roy Orbison is no exception:
Ooby Dooby
Hey baby, jump over here and you do the ooby dooby
I wanna be near
Ooby dooby, ooby dooby
Ooby dooby dooby dooby
Dooby dooby do wah do wah do wah
Well ya wriggle to the left, you wriggle to the right
Do the ooby dooby with all of your might
Yell ya wriggle and ya shake, like a bit rattle snake
Ya do the ooby dooby 'till ya think her heart'll break
Well you won't be a struttin' cos now ya know
How to do the ooby dooby now baby let's go
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Boop boop dit-tum dat-tum wat-tum, Chu!
As long as we're accessing the archives...
Three Little Fishes, by Kay Kyser, 1939
Down in the meadow in a little bitty pool
Swam three little fishies and a mama fishie too
"Swim" said the mama fishie, "Swim if you can"
And they swam and they swam all over the dam
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam all over the dam
"Stop" said the mama fishie, "or you will get lost"
The three little fishies didn't wanna be bossed
The three little fishies went off on a spree
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam right out to the sea
"Whee!" yelled the little fishies, "Here's a lot of fun
We'll swim in the sea till the day is done"
They swam and they swam, and it was a lark
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Till all of a sudden they saw a shark!
"Help!" cried the little fishies, "Gee! look at all the whales!"
And quick as they could, they turned on their tails
And back to the pool in the meadow they swam
And they swam and they swam back over the dam
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
Boop boop dit-tem dat-tem what-tem Chu!
And they swam and they swam back over the dam
-This brings back memories. My Mom used to sing this to me when I was widdle.
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Note to Steve Miller....Abracadabra, I want to reach out...
Quote:
Originally Posted by 3LB
All heroes fall eventually:
Abracadabra: Steve Miller Band
Abra-abra-cadabra
I want to reach out and grab ya
Abra-abra-cadabra
Abracadabra
..
..and stab ya...for writing this garbage!
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Sometimes the lyrics are borderline retarded but the damn tune is just so catchy ya can't get it outta yer head...
You have so many relationships in this life
Only one or two will last
You're go through all the pain and strife
Then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
And they're gone so fast
Oh so hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care
Can you tell me who will still care, oh care
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
You can plant any one of those
Keep planting to find out which one grows
It's a secret no one knows
It's a secret no one knows
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
In an mmmbop they're gone
In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there
In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there
In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there
In an mmmbop they're gone. In an mmmbop they're not there
Until you lose your hair. But you don't care
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
So hold on the ones who really care
In the end they'll be the only ones there
When you get old and start losing your hair
Can you tell me who will still care
Can you tell me who will still care, oh care
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Can you tell me
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me if it's going to be a daisy or a rose
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me which flower's going to grow
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me
You say you can but you don't know
You say you can but you don't know
Don't know oh, You don't know oh
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, ba du ba dop
Ba du
Mmmbop, ba du ba dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du bop, Ba du dop
Ba du
Can you tell me
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me
You say you can but you don't know
Can you tell me
No you can't 'cause you don't know
Can you tell me
You say you can but you don't know
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kexodusc
FOUL! No fair, bro, every bad lyrics thread automagically assumes Kiss lyrics are excluded...I mean, how can anything compete with "Ooh baby, wanna put my log in your fireplace"???
You batsard! How you gonna call me out for Kiss lyrics and then post MMBop?!?!
It's on....like Donkey Kong....
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bobsticks
You batsard! How you gonna call me out for Kiss lyrics and then post MMBop?!?!
It's on....like Donkey Kong....
Oh you want it like that, eh? No holds barred then...do your worst...:yikes:
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Wow.....
All this invective about lyrics... and NOONE'S MENTIONED ABBA?????
1. "Born to be Alive"
2. "Disco Duck"
3. "The Streak".
4. "The Village People" et. al.
5. McCartny's "Wings" period.
6. "Obbla Dee" whatever...
7. "The Pina Collada Song".
8. "Afternoon Delight".
9. "Mother Popcorn" even by James Browns standards this was low.
10. "Ben" - Hey its a song about an effin' RAT!!!!!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I rest my case!:yikes:
Da Worfster
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There's this girl that's been on my mind
All the time, Sussudio oh oh
Now she don't even know my name
But I think she likes me just the same
Sussudio oh oh
Oh if she called me I'd be there
I'd come running anywhere
She's all I need, all my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Sussudio, just say the word
Oh Sussudio
Now I know that I'm too young
My love has just begun
Sussudio oh oh
Ooh give me a chance, give me a sign
I'll show her anytime
Sussudio oh oh
Ah, I've just got to have her, have her now
I've got to get closer but I don't know how
She makes me nervous and makes me scared
But I feel so good if I just say the word
Sussudio just say the word
Oh Sussudio, oh
Ah, she's all I need all of my life
I feel so good if I just say the word
Sussudio I just say the word
Oh Sussudio I just say the word
Oh Sussudio I'll say the word
Sussudio oh oh oh
Just say the word
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