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  1. 07-30-2008, 08:20 AM #1
    ForeverAutumn
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    You are doomed to be happy in wedlock.

    This was in my Hubby's fortune cookie.

    He is doomed to be happy.

    What the hell is that supposed to mean?

    My funniest cookie fortune ever said, "Beware of cookies bearing fortunes". I didn't eat the cookie.
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  2. 07-30-2008, 08:29 AM #2
    GMichael
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    Lucky guy.

    All of my fortunes have been too generic to be worth anything.

    "You will be attending a large party in the next year."
    "Smiling is more fun than frowning."
    "Happiness is a state of mind."

    And my all time favorite.

    "So you thought that was chicken huh?"
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.
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  3. 07-30-2008, 09:39 AM #3
    bobsticks
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    This was in my Hubby's fortune cookie.

    He is doomed to be happy.

    What the hell is that supposed to mean?
    Mebbe we should talk to him in a few years...snicker, snicker...
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  4. 07-30-2008, 10:02 AM #4
    kexodusc
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    I had one last week that said:
    "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions"

    Scared the **** out of me.
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  5. 07-30-2008, 10:15 AM #5
    bobsticks
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    l'enfer est pavé de bonnes intentions

    Quote Originally Posted by kexodusc
    I had one last week that said:
    "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions"

    Scared the **** out of me.
    ...or the less idiomatic "Hell is paved with good will"...

    ...as an example check out this gutbuster. I actually bookmarked this as a laughable example of the foibles of sacrosanct theoligical zeitgeist...

    http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/new.php?n=8025
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  6. 07-30-2008, 10:17 AM #6
    Rich-n-Texas
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    All y'all are going to the wrong Chinese food places. You have to go to the expensive ones 'cause their fortune cookies are always in your favor.
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  7. 07-30-2008, 10:20 AM #7
    Rich-n-Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    ...as an example check out this gutbuster. I actually bookmarked this as a laughable example of the foibles of sacrosanct theoligical zeitgeist...
    I have NO IDEA what that means so I probably won't be able to appreciate the humor.
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  8. 07-30-2008, 10:27 AM #8
    Auricauricle
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    I once considered a career in architecture. I visited a local university to check out the program. I went to a Chinese restaurant shortly afterward. The cookie said: "You are the architect of your future" (Trudat!).

    So I did the smartest thing I could think of.

    I went to nursing school....

    Fate...
    Last edited by Auricauricle; 07-30-2008 at 04:29 PM.
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  9. 07-30-2008, 10:42 AM #9
    bobsticks
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    http://www.theonion.com/content/opin..._wife_said_the

    Just a general comment not aimed at our preciouis lil' Maple Leaf...
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  10. 07-30-2008, 10:57 AM #10
    GMichael
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    http://www.theonion.com/content/opin..._wife_said_the

    Just a general comment not aimed at our preciouis lil' Maple Leaf...
    Wow!

    If I were this guy's wife, I'd be plotting his untimely demise.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.
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  11. 07-30-2008, 11:05 AM #11
    ForeverAutumn
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    Wow!

    If I were this guy's wife, I'd be plotting his untimely demise.
    If I were that guy, I'd be plotting my own untimely demise.
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  12. 07-30-2008, 11:37 AM #12
    GMichael
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverAutumn
    If I were that guy, I'd be plotting my own untimely demise.
    You mean, before she snips off his manhood and shoves it down his throat covered in hot sauce?
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.
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  13. 07-30-2008, 11:50 AM #13
    ForeverAutumn
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    You mean, before she snips off his manhood and shoves it down his throat covered in hot sauce?
    Are we reading the same article? Because it sounds more likely that she'd cover it in ketchup and eat it herself.
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  14. 07-30-2008, 11:54 AM #14
    Ajani
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    Quote Originally Posted by bobsticks
    foibles of sacrosanct theoligical zeitgeist
    Posts like this make me feel ignant....

    Dun di f..kry! Translated from my native dialect: Stop the..ummm... foolishness!
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  15. 07-30-2008, 12:06 PM #15
    Rich-n-Texas
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    Didn't somebody say something about fortune cookies? Now somebody wants to cut somebody's d*ck off? Huh? Wha?
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  16. 07-30-2008, 12:11 PM #16
    bobsticks
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ajani
    Posts like this make me feel ignant....

    Dun di f..kry! Translated from my native dialect: Stop the..ummm... foolishness!
    And that's my fault as I forgot the definitive article...it should be "foibles of the sacrosanct theoligical zeitgeist"...but you knew that and recognised the sarcasm...not sure 'bout Rich tho

    Sorry 'bout the confusion.
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  17. 07-30-2008, 12:13 PM #17
    bobsticks
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rich-n-Texas
    Didn't somebody say something about fortune cookies? Now somebody wants to cut somebody's d*ck off? Huh? Wha?
    Hi. Welcome to Audio Review.
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  18. 07-30-2008, 12:20 PM #18
    Rich-n-Texas
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    Gee, thanks sticks.
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  19. 07-30-2008, 12:30 PM #19
    Auricauricle
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    Holy Penal Code, Batman!!
    Last edited by Auricauricle; 11-06-2008 at 03:54 PM.
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  20. 07-30-2008, 12:40 PM #20
    bobsticks
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rich-n-Texas
    Gee, thanks sticks.
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  21. 08-01-2008, 01:21 PM #21
    Woochifer
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    I used to work in a Chinese restaurant and saw first hand what goes on in the kitchen! Those guys already had a sick sense of humor, which wasn't reflected in their typically bland fortune cookie messages. I can't imagine what kind of debauchery goes on in the backroom if they're serving up these kinds of perverse fortunes up front!
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  22. 08-01-2008, 01:22 PM #22
    Woochifer
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMichael
    You mean, before she snips off his manhood and shoves it down his throat covered in hot sauce?
    Happens to be best of us!
    Wooch's Home Theater 2.0 (Pics)
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  23. 08-01-2008, 03:28 PM #23
    Auricauricle
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    Leggo my eggroll, man!
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  24. 08-01-2008, 06:18 PM #24
    Rich-n-Texas
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    Quote Originally Posted by Woochifer
    I used to work in a Chinese restaurant and saw first hand what goes on in the kitchen! Those guys already had a sick sense of humor, which wasn't reflected in their typically bland fortune cookie messages. I can't imagine what kind of debauchery goes on in the backroom if they're serving up these kinds of perverse fortunes up front!
    I think I need to reconsider my position in this matter.
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  25. 08-03-2008, 05:57 PM #25
    bobsticks
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rich-n-Texas
    I think I need to reconsider my position in this matter.
    Missah Wich, would wike the usuaw...cweam of sum yun guy?
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