Things you didn't know....
I was waiting to get my brakes done the other day (pads AND rotors) and as they were lubing up the pineapple to shove up my tailpipe my mind began to wander and as a result I thought I'd give you all the benefits of my mental musings.
1. Schroeder never did marry Lucy but he and Linus are still living togehter in Barsto quite happily.
2. Charlie Brown still lives in his mom's basement. Makes a living selling Star Wars crap on ebay and attending SciFi Conventions. Still wears that same chittty sweater only now it's a sweat band around his still balding head.
3. Lucy Van Pelt is doing time in Joliet. Never having gotten over her first love she moved on to younger and younger men. Authorities drew the line after several middle schooler's began complaining.
4. Dennis the Menace is still in the Marines. His talent for destruction has seen him in every hotspot from Beruit to Bagdhad. He currently claims to have killed at least 4 insurgents with his trusty slingshot.
5. Archie finally came to grips with his sexuality and took up residence with Jughead for about 10 years before moving to the Castro.
6. Reggie and Veronica married and had several evil, dark haired, narcisstic kids. They lived quite happily until the banking meltdown last year. Implicated in the Madoff scandal Reg did the right thing and swallowed his Baretta. Veronica, having always been smarter than Reg, fled to an island paradise with no extradition and is living quite happily with several buff pool boys.
7. Betty is still stripping 5 nights a week in Vegas.
8. Beetle Baily is currently doing time in Levenworth for having finally "fragged" Sarge while deployed in Iraq. Bailey got a reduced sentece in that ample evidence existed showing a long and bloody pattern of physical abuse by Sarge. At his sentencing Bailey declared "I just couldn't take one more ass whippin from tha tfat f**k. I'm glad he's dead and I hope he rots in Hell."
9. Garfiield, died years ago and is currently on display at the Museum of Natrual History in New York. At 320 Pounds he remains the largest domestic feline ever on record.
10. Calvin was last seen in Seattle International Airport panhandling for the Hare's... Hobbes was nowhere to be seen.
Da Worfster