Are all Sales People insane?

[GMichael]

I just got a call from one of our Sales team. Here is the question she had for me.

Me: Hi Jane (not her real name) What's up?
Jane: Mike?
Me: Yes, this is Mike. What's up Jane?
Jane: This is Jane.
Me: OK, Hi Jane. You have a question?
Jane: Hi Mike.
Me: Hi.
Jane: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Uh, sure.
Jane: I've got this customer on the phone.
Me: uh huh.
Jane: He's from Japan.
Me: Cool.
Jane: Well, he doesn't live in Japan anymore.
Me: Oh.
Jane: He moved to New York.
Me: OK.
Jane: But then he moved to Texas.
Me: Of coarse he did.
Jane: He has a daughter in college now.
Me: Is she cute?
Jane: Huh? I don't know.
Me: That's ok. I was just joking. What does she need?
Jane: Well, she's going to SMU.
Me: OK.
Jane: She's taking Computer Science.
Me: I'm married.
Jane: Huh, what?
Me: Never mind.
Jane: What did you mean?
Me: It was just a joke. Please tell me what you need.
Jane: Oh, ah. Ha ha. She's got a laptop.
Me: Yup.
Jane: She took it with her to spring break.
Me: Big mistake.
Jane: Yeah, I guess it was. Some guy she met there was into volleyball.
Me: And?
Jane: Well he spilled beer all over it while she was playing. And then it fell in the sand.
Me: Not good.
Jane: Yeah, the keyboard is all messed up now.
Me: So she needs a keyboard?
Jane: Yeah.
Me: OK, so?
Jane: It's part number P000??????.
Me: OK.
Jane: But our system says that it's been discontinued and that we can't get anymore.
Me: Bummer.
Jane: Can we still get these?
Me: (long pause) So he's from Japan you say?

[JohnMichael]

GMichael I would have so much fun working with you.

[GMichael]

GMichael I would have so much fun working with you.

I'm sure we'd have some laughs.
So, are you from Japan?

[JohnMichael]

I'm sure we'd have some laughs.
So, are you from Japan?

No, but I do spill beer.

[Resident Loser]

...of the opinion that these days that the majority of people just don't listen, or half-listen, or just don't understand...my wife and I think it may be something in the water...

I used to think that most folks were like me...willing to extend themselves to help as much as they could...to be prompt...courteous...conscientious...exhibiting a reasonable amount of commom sense in the process...qualities that now seem to be in short supply...

I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but it strikes me that most folks are simply idiots, that they are fortunate that breathing and heartbeat are functions of the autonomic nervous system...If they had two consecutive thoughts they'd faint from overexertion...

I've seen some children who have had just about everything in their lives choreographed by way-too-accomodating parents and as a result they have become young adults who are incapable of rational thought vis a' vis decision making and problem solving...

And while your story is on one hand amusing, on the other it's sad...for whatever reasons some people don't get it and never will...

Of course it may simply be that you are considered the "go-to" guy when the feces hits the fan...in that respect you should be flattered I suppose...

jimHJJ(...unfortunately, there's more of them than there are of you...)

[GMichael]

...of the opinion that these days that the majority of people just don't listen, or half-listen, or just don't understand...my wife and I think it may be something in the water...

Tue true. Maybe it's a terrorist plot?

...I used to think that most folks were like me...willing to extend themselves to help as much as they could...to be prompt...courteous...conscientious...exhibiting a reasonable amount of commom sense in the process...qualities that now seem to be in short supply...

Now, I know that beneath all your sarcasm, that you are very helpful. Some may not see you in the same light. (snicker snicker)

...I don't know if it's because I'm getting older, but it strikes me that most folks are simply idiots, that they are fortunate that breathing and heartbeat are functions of the autonomic nervous system...If they had two consecutive thoughts they'd faint from overexertion...

Oh, if only this wasn't so true. You are getting older. (more snickering) But you're right. Mr. Average Joe needs help tying his shoes. That's why so many wear the slip-ons.
Too funny about the breathing. Breeding seems to come easy to them though.

...I've seen some children who have had just about everything in their lives choreographed by way-too-accomodating parents and as a result they have become young adults who are incapable of rational thought vis a' vis decision making and problem solving...

Hmmm.... Kids who want to please mommy & daddy? Do they still have those? I get your point though. They have no way to get though life without directions from someone.

...And while your story is on one hand amusing, on the other it's sad...for whatever reasons some people don't get it and never will...

But why do so many of them have to follow me around?

...Of course it may simply be that you are considered the "go-to" guy when the feces hits the fan...in that respect you should be flattered I suppose...

Nail on the head. And I do feel flattered. But they are the ones making the commission on all my hard work. In that sense, who is the real idiot? (my hand slowly goes up)

...jimHJJ(...unfortunately, there's more of them than there are of you...)

Way more!

[Rich-n-Texas]

Me: (long pause) So he's from Japan you say?

You didn't!

That is some funny sh!t. She's a sales rep? And you're here in Texas? What do y'all sell?

[GMichael]

You didn't!

That is some funny sh!t. She's a sales rep? And you're here in Texas? What do y'all sell?

We're in New York. The customer was in Texas.

We sell parts to repair printers and laptops.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Rats!!!

[GMichael]

Rats? No, we don't sell rats. I could get you a mouse though.

[Resident Loser]

Rats? No, we don't sell rats. I could get you a mouse though.

...a rat be like a universal remote? Would it control more things than a simple mouse?

jimHJJ(...you should look into it...)

[GMichael]

..a wireless rat? Does it work with a mouse pad or do I need to get a special rat pad? You know, the kind filled with garbage.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Rats? No, we don't sell rats. I could get you a mouse though.

What?

Huh?

Who?

Roger...

Who...

Ober...

Huh... what?

Sorry, I just keep coming back to that Airplane scene. That conversation seems to fit so well.

"...And don't call me Shirley"

[GMichael]

What's the guy's name on first base?
What's on second.
I'm not asking you who's on second.
Who is on first.
I don't know.
He's on 3rd base.
Stay off of 3rd base! I'm not asking who's on 3rd.
No! Who is on first.

OK, when you pay your first basemen, who get's the money?
Every penny. Sometimes his wife picks up his check.
Who's check.
Yeah.

So I a guy was to bunt the ball. The catcher would pick it up and throw it to who.
Naturaly.
OK, so he throws it to Natuarly.
No, he throws it to Who.

[markw]

http://www.seitoku.ac.jp/~berman/faire/intro_who.html

It's still a work of genius to hear this even after all these years. Their inflection and timing is superb.

[GMichael]

http://www.seitoku.ac.jp/~berman/faire/intro_who.html

It's still a work of genius to hear this even after all these years. Their inflection and timing is superb.

Still a classic. Thanks for the walk down memory lane.

[GMichael]

No time to go into details, but our Sales People are NOT getting any better!

[ForeverAutumn]

No time to go into details, but our Sales People are NOT getting any better!

When I was in Marketing, I used to think that the sales people were idiots.

Then I went into Sales and all the marketing people were idiots.

Now I'm back in Marketing and all the sales people are idiots again.

My conclusion? Everyone's an idiot except me!

C'mon GM, we want details!

[topspeed]

Just farm out your sales team to India like everyone else. The workforce there is usually college educated and quite knowledgeable.

'Course, you can't understand a flippin' thing they say, but hey...you can't have everything! Where would put it?

[kexodusc]

If you think sales and markting people are bad, you guys should try talking to customers. IMO, they are the absolute dumbest people on the planet 19 times out of 20...
Seriously!
And this whole concept about the customer always being right - that's gotta die now...some need a good kick in the ass.

This coming from a guy who's neither in sales, nor marketing. I just stand in line behind a lot of idiots to buy a lot of consumer products.

[bobsticks]

If you think sales and markting people are bad, you guys should try talking to customers. IMO, they are the absolute dumbest people on the planet 19 times out of 20...
Seriously!
And this whole concept about the customer always being right - that's gotta die now...some need a good kick in the ass.

This coming from a guy who's neither in sales, nor marketing. I just stand in line behind a lot of idiots to buy a lot of consumer products.

In Israel everybody has to do two years of service in the military. I propose in America everyone needs to do two years of service broken into one in the restaurant business and one in retail, and maybe we'd see a little less of the "customer who's always right" (CWAR). Being the perennial black sheep of the family I get sentence commuted to timed served, 'cause I can assure you I did alot of these jobs during high school and the beginning of college. I swear to god, on my days off I'll go grocery shopping at 6:00 am to avoid killing someone while standing in line.

Greenies for kex, even though yous got my pimp hand shakin'

[GMichael]

When I was in Marketing, I used to think that the sales people were idiots.

Then I went into Sales and all the marketing people were idiots.

Now I'm back in Marketing and all the sales people are idiots again.

My conclusion? Everyone's an idiot except me!

C'mon GM, we want details!

Can't form sentences yet. hand still shaking.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Didn't your mother tell you that you'd go blind doing that?

[bobsticks]

Can't form sentences yet. hand still shaking.

If you were a hobbit they'd call you G. Michael Harryhands...

[GMichael]

At least I'd get some kind of satisfaction then.