The Moose Song

[ForeverAutumn]

I didn't want to hijack JMs party thread...

Chorus:
Then its moose, moose, I want a moose.
I have never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had many women, my morals are loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.
________________________________________
When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I played with their bodies and fondled their curls.
Till my girl ran off with a Captain named Bruce.
Oh you'll never get treated like that by a moose!

Chorus

When I'm in the mood for a good lay,
I go to the closet and get me some hay.
I open the window and spread it around,
Cause the moose always come when there's hay on the ground!

Chorus

I've done it with all sorts of beasties with hair;
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there,
I've done it with llamas, sheep, dogs and a goose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose!

Chorus

Now a gorilla is all right for a Saturday night,
And lions and tigers they put up a fight.
But it's just not the same when you slam their caboose
Like the feeling you get when you're humping a moose.

Chorus

The king of the gods is a fellow named Zeus,
On top of Olympus with an urge to seduce.
They offered him virgins but he'd just refuse,
"Screw all of your virgins and bring me a moose!"

Chorus

And now I am old and advanced in my years.
As I look o'er my life, I will shed me no tears.
So I sit in my chair with a glass of prune juice,
Playing hide the salami with Marvin the Moose!

Chorus

I've died, gone to heaven, my soul soars away
I show up at those gates with my bale of hay
Now they're bound to inquire as to my grin
And I'll wind up in hell humpin' mooses again



Additional verses here.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Only someone from the Great White North could come up with something like this.

[bobsticks]

I don't know. There's something to be said for a hot llama.

[ForeverAutumn]

[bobsticks]

Ah, that old chestnut...lovely.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Thanks much sticks for diverting the attention away from ME!!!

[ForeverAutumn]

Hehehe. Sorry Rich. Just having a little fun at your expense. Thanks for being such a good sport about it.

[GMichael]

The Moosehead Squirrel story.

A few years back, while playing pool in the league, I picked up a habit. Whenever I would miss a shot and accidentally leave my opponent no shot, I would say, "Take THAT Moose and Squirrel!." Anyone who ever saw the Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon will know that saying. There was a young girl on our team who had never heard of them. After hearing me say this a few times she asked me, "Why do you keep saying that?" "What is a Moosehead squirrel?" Without blinking an eye, I went into a story about how they are a very rare breed from North America. "You see, those great big moose heads are way too big for those tiny little squirrel bodies to drag around. So most of them die off before they get a chance to reproduce." She believed me and kept telling other people about them until one night I couldn't stop myself from laughing. She was mad at me for a week, and will still get upset if I bring it up.

[ForeverAutumn]

Only for a week? You got off easy.

[GMichael]

Only for a week?

How bright could she be? Her attention span is about 3 seconds.

You got off easy.

No comment.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Women are sooooo gullible, ya know?

Before that video starts, I'd swear the person in the picture looks like either Roseanne Barr or Ann Wilson. Honestly! Little did I realize it's actually a guy!

[ForeverAutumn]

Before that video starts, I'd swear the person in the picture looks like either Roseanne Barr or Ann Wilson. Honestly! Little did I realize it's actually a guy!

It's a Llama you bonehead! Sheesh.

[Rich-n-Texas]

And here's where I say... Not THAT video! Right?

[GMichael]

It looked like a llama to me.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Why do you always take HER side GM?

[GMichael]

She's got nicer parts.

[bobsticks]

She's got nicer parts.

...and doesn't even have to try.