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  1. #1
    Rep points are my LIFE!! Groundbeef's Avatar
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    I hate getting lost!

    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a Funeral Director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

    There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

    I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

    When I finished,I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

    Apparently, I'm still lost...
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  2. #2
    Da Dragonball Kid L.J.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Groundbeef
    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a Funeral Director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

    There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

    I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

    When I finished,I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

    Apparently, I'm still lost...

  3. #3
    M.P.S.E /AES/SMPTE member Sir Terrence the Terrible's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Groundbeef
    As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a Funeral Director to play at a graveside service for a homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky back country.

    As I was not familiar with the backwoods, I got lost and, being a typical man, I didn't stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late and saw the funeral guy had evidently gone and the hearse was nowhere in sight.

    There were only the diggers and crew left and they were eating lunch.

    I felt badly and apologized to the men for being late. I went to the side of the grave and looked down and the vault lid was already in place. I didn't know what else to do, so I started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

    I played out my heart and soul for this man with no family and friends. I played like I've never played before for this homeless man. And as I played 'Amazing Grace,' the workers began to weep. They wept, I wept, we all wept together.

    When I finished,I packed up my bagpipes and started for my car. Though my head hung low, my heart was full. As I opened the door to my car, I heard one of the workers say, "I never seen nothin' like that before and I've been putting in septic tanks for twenty years."

    Apparently, I'm still lost...
    Beef plays the bags????

    Beef question. What about the harmonics of bagpipes makes them sound so damn annoying? The sound of those things drives me to drink heavily!

    The last quote was funny and head scratching at the same time.
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  4. #4
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Terrence the Terrible
    Beef plays the bags????

    Beef question. What about the harmonics of bagpipes makes them sound so damn annoying? The sound of those things drives me to drink heavily!

    The last quote was funny and head scratching at the same time.
    I think you just explained it.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  5. #5
    Forum Regular luvtolisten's Avatar
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    You had me take the bait! EXCELLENT!!

  6. #6
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Very good!

    Almost as good as my dog food story.

  7. #7
    Rep points are my LIFE!! Groundbeef's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Terrence the Terrible
    Beef plays the bags????

    Beef question. What about the harmonics of bagpipes makes them sound so damn annoying? The sound of those things drives me to drink heavily!

    The last quote was funny and head scratching at the same time.
    No I don't play the bagpipes. But I like them all the same! I stole this joke from another forum that I frequent.

    Hope you enjoyed it.
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  8. #8
    Sure, sure... Auricauricle's Avatar
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    Bravo, Beef! I was completely taken...hook, line and sinker!
    "The great tragedy of science--the slaying of a beautiful hypothesis by an ugly fact."--T. Huxley

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