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  1. #1
    Loving This kexodusc's Avatar
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    Unhappy Announcement: My final 30 days -

    Well fellahs, the sun is setting on this young stallion's storied and sometimes troubled life...single life that is...
    In exactly 30 days I will finally be tying that proverbial knot. It might have been the 51" HDTV she bought me, might have been the fact she's happily #2 behind all things a/v in my life, or maybe we'll never know....but I do know I will be getting married October 1st.

    Thus, the kex you know will cease to exist...with time, he will be replaced by an older, fatter, perhaps more submissive kex. Perhaps he will be much like the old kex, but with more complicated income tax prep work. Who knows for sure?

    So then, it remains...30 days left. What does a man typically do before his senten-err...marriage?

    I got time, and some money...But I need some ideas - there's 3 bachelor parties planned for me. Unfortunately, they have all been planned with the future Mrs. kex's input...therefore they will be very, very dry parties, with the friends she chooses.

    So, I've taken it upon myself to plan my own real bachelor party, but now I need some ideas...this is where you come in...

    Throw your worst at me guys...

  2. #2
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kexodusc
    Well fellahs, the sun is setting on this young stallion's storied and sometimes troubled life...single life that is...
    In exactly 30 days I will finally be tying that proverbial knot. It might have been the 51" HDTV she bought me, might have been the fact she's happily #2 behind all things a/v in my life, or maybe we'll never know....but I do know I will be getting married October 1st.

    Thus, the kex you know will cease to exist...with time, he will be replaced by an older, fatter, perhaps more submissive kex. Perhaps he will be much like the old kex, but with more complicated income tax prep work. Who knows for sure?

    So then, it remains...30 days left. What does a man typically do before his senten-err...marriage?

    I got time, and some money...But I need some ideas - there's 3 bachelor parties planned for me. Unfortunately, they have all been planned with the future Mrs. kex's input...therefore they will be very, very dry parties, with the friends she chooses.

    So, I've taken it upon myself to plan my own real bachelor party, but now I need some ideas...this is where you come in...

    Throw your worst at me guys...
    WOW! That's great Kex. Congratulations! I wish you all the best.

    Now comes the ribbin'. What's the longest sentence in the English language? "I do."

    Just arrange for a limo to pick you and a few wild friends up and take you to the nearest strip joint. Then to the second closest, 3rd, 4th, etc... Make sure the limo has plenty of beer. The best strip joints don't serve it.
    You can arrange for the strippers to come to your house but that leaves you open to obvious problems.
    Your new ball and chain will most likely insert her own "spies", so make sure you have something good on each of them to hold over their heads before the evening ends. Be sure to have a great time, and for G.ds sakes, DON'T LET THEM PULL YOU UP ON STAGE! Nuf said.

    Dude you scared me with the last 30 days bit. Thought you were giving notice, "I here by resign" type of thang.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  3. #3
    Kam
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    filet - o - fish Kam's Avatar
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    go back in your memory, and find 30 things she's *****ed/complained/said something at (notice i didnt say "to") you about and in each day for the full 24 hours, relish in whatever that thing is, do it non-stop and enjoy it to decadent levels. and by decadent, i mean put the dent back into decadent. (wow that is so horrible i cant believe i wrote that).

    and while you're at it, film it and make a kick-ass documentary.

    oh and congrats as well, i have heard marriage is a lovely institution filled with things like marital bliss, 'dinner parties,' and other such crap.

    peace
    k2
    (go 'canes!)
    /create

  4. #4
    Forum Regular Swerd's Avatar
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    Kex

    Congratulations. You're taking life's next big step. You won't regret it.


    Last spring, I visited one of the greats in the DIY speaker building world, Dennis Murphy. He lives about 20 miles or so away from me. As soon as I entered his house I started understanding how he has become so accomplished and experienced at speaker building. He spends a whole lot of his free time working at it. His house was one large speaker building - listening - testing workshop. In the living room was a baby grand piano and 4 or 5 pairs of speakers in various states of assembly with crossover test mock-up boards lying all around. He also had a pile of unopened cartons that had been recently delivered that he hadn't yet had time to open! Apparently, a lot of people send him speaker drivers and cabinets for him to design and make better sounding crossovers. He told me he has a standing account with UPS and FedEx. His real workshop was in another room upstairs, where his computers, test microphones, and assembly workbench were. I started wondering what his wife had to say about all this (it was definitely not neat and clean) when I finally guessed that he wasn't married. That explained the house that had been taken over by speaker building stuff and all the free time he devoted to it. I found myself fascinated and a little bit jealous, realizing that I could never do this in my home. At the same time, I realized that I wasn't really sorry that I wasn't a bachelor, even though I was witnessing how someone put all his freedom to such good use.


    So Kex, my advice to you is buy as much stufff as you can now from Madisound and Parts Express before you have to explain to her what exactly all this stuff is for and how much you spent on it!

  5. #5
    M.P.S.E /AES/SMPTE member Sir Terrence the Terrible's Avatar
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    Holy marriage bliss Kex, congrat's to you buddy. My wife before she passed away was a audio/videophile. Unlike most wives, she took over every component and speaker I bought into the house. I often had to fight to calibrate my system(she wanted to do it), I had to fight over what to purchase(she liked the most expensive stuff), but we always worked together putting things together. I hope you have as good a marriage as I had. Good luck and God bless you man.
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  6. #6
    Forum Regular Woochifer's Avatar
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    Kex, my condol ... errr ... congratulations!

    THREE "sanctioned" bachelor parties?! Wow, and you need more, eh?

    When my singledom clock was ticking down, I just went down to L.A. and with some of my old buddies did a farewell tour of all my old favorite haunts/pick up spots. This included bars, dance clubs, burger joints, nondescript little restaurants, coffeehouses -- the whole bit.

    Funny thing is that my final night, I wound up at the Derby in Hollywood on their swing night (this was famously depicted in Swingers, which is not a XXX movie BTW) and was having a night unlike any other with four women giving me their phone numbers before the clock had even struck the 11 mark. (I'd been going to the Derby for years, and if I was REALLY lucky, I might trade "digits" [Swingerspeak] with one or two women on a given night) Needless to say, I was in my zone and working the room, probably for the last time ...

    Then my friend had the nerve to extract me off the floor while I was having a grand ole time in order to caravan everybody over to a strip joint! Lemme tell you, that was surreal. It goes from jam packed club, where I'm getting approached, talked to, danced with, and getting digits thrown in my face -- all without even offering to buy anyone a drink -- to a VERY quiet room with nothing but guys everywhere, except for the women serving drinks and the women doing their best on stage! Despite the naked women on stage, I felt like strangling my friend! Plenty of the women at the dance club that night were legit hotties, but these strippers looked downright frightening with the tattoos and genital piercings. And the dancing/strip routines looked so boring (fully clothed babes at the Derby doing basic swing steps were more arousing!). This is how bad/boring it got -- in the middle of a particularly monotonous routine, I got on my friend's cell phone and called my then-fiancee! Fortunately, the evening was redeemed somewhat by a late night pastrami run.

    Anyway, that was my bachelor night. Just a return to my singles roots and an ill-fated detour! For your enjoyment, I would say just go with whatever floats your boat. I don't know if it's beer and football with the guys, gaming and hot tubs in Vegas, or dungeons and debauchery, so think over some of the things that you won't be able to get away with later on, and take it from there! Good luck ...

  7. #7
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    huh? wha?

    Am I the only pervert on this whole forum? I feel so dirty now.
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  8. #8
    What, me worry? piece-it pete's Avatar
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    Congrats!

    er, I think....



    I really don't know what you like (outside of audio and... anime?), so it's tough to say, but it could be something different, like fishing with the guys, etc.

    My only bit of advice is this: If you consider divorce as an option, you'll end up divorced.

    Good luck bro.

    Pete
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  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by kexodusc
    So then, it remains...30 days left. What does a man typically do before his senten-err...marriage?
    RUUUUNNNNN!!!!! Run like Hell while you still have a chance!!!

    Don't let the gifts fool you, that's simply lures to the bait. Once you bite your in the boat, and if you're lucky enough to get thrown back, you'll be surprised at how much lighter your pockets are.
    My wife of 21 years gave me gifts while we were dating too. I thought she was great. Little did I know! The only gift I get now is daily misery. I wish I could afford the divorce, but I stay together for the sake of my audio system.

    I have 8 (yes, that's right, 8) sisters. All were married. 4 are now divorced. The 4 that married the men who make the most $$$ (Doctors/Lawyers/ Salesmen). All 4 sisters married to guys making over $200K a year are now divorced. The ones married to roofers, mechanics and factory workers are still married.

    The point being, the guys that can afford divorce, get it. Why does divorce cost so much.....because it's worth it!

    That's why the divorce rate of 50% is so low, because the other half can't afford it.

    My advice......RUN LIKE THE WIND WHILE YOU STILL HAVE A CHANCE TO LIVE!!!!!!

  10. #10
    BooBs are elitist jerks shokhead's Avatar
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    My advice to anyone who considers this is DON'T. I wouldnt do it again.
    Look & Listen

  11. #11
    Forum Regular Swerd's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sir Terrence the Terrible
    ...My wife before she passed away was a audio/videophile. Unlike most wives, she took over every component and speaker I bought into the house. I often had to fight to calibrate my system(she wanted to do it), I had to fight over what to purchase(she liked the most expensive stuff), but we always worked together putting things together...
    It sounds like she gave new meaning to the term "WAF". That must have been fun to be able to share your hobby/profession with her. I'm sorry to learn that she's gone.

    Despite all the wisecracks about wives who don't tolerate our love of things audio, I have to say my wife (of 27 years come Sept. 23) was great when I told her, about 5 and a half years ago, that I wanted to spend money on a new HT system. She was all for it, as long as I got some decent furniture to go with it. The only thing she wouldn't tolerate was cheap looking, make-do furniture to hold all the new gear. When I wanted to start building speakers, she was also more than tolerant. She encouraged me to take some woodworking courses and buy the tools I needed.

    This is part of what makes for a good marriage, understanding what eachother wants in life, and making sure it happens.

    Good luck Kex, best wishes from all of us. Are you registered at Parts Express ?

  12. #12
    Suspended topspeed's Avatar
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    This is NOT a good sign!

    Quote Originally Posted by kexodusc
    I got time, and some money...But I need some ideas - there's 3 bachelor parties planned for me. Unfortunately, they have all been planned with the future Mrs. kex's input...therefore they will be very, very dry parties, with the friends she chooses.
    WTH?!? Friends she chooses? The one's she hates are always the most fun!

    Congrats. Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy. Auf Weidesen...blahblahblah etc.

    Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, lets's talk bachelor party.

    The first rule, and this is non-negotiable, is that you must leave your current city. Ideally, you want to be far enough away from her, her friends, her friend's friends, her friend's second cousin twice removed, and anybody that has the same blood type. NO SPIES!

    Naturally, there is only one place on the face of the Earth that meets this description:






    Cheap flights, semi-cheap hotels, incredibly cheap women. Get the friends your fiancee wouldn't allow to your other "bachelor" parties and load them onto a plane. As a value added bonus, you will also get a chance to be a star on HBO. Take a drive here and truly enjoy your last days as a single man. Remember, marriage is a lot like getting the same Playboy month after month after month. You'd better enjoy those Hustlers while you still can !

  13. #13
    Loving This kexodusc's Avatar
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    Thanks for kind words guys...

    Well I've taken some notes on all your suggestions, and there seem to be one common element...fine gentleman's establishments...guess we'll have to do that. Oh, and lots of beer.

    I think the best man, etc are suppose to schedule/plan these parties, unfortunately mine still lives in Atlanta, so that 3rd party will be one of the 3 that SHE has a say in, the week before. Since have I had to come up with my own on short noticed, I figure Montreal looks like the spot to hit...I've got enough points to fly myself and 3 of my buddies there (saves an 8 hour drive). One works for Marriot so we've got the rooms booked free. If any AR.com-ers are in Montreal Sept. 22-24 you're welcome to join...

    I'm sure I can get into enough trouble there.
    I'm the only one who speaks french from my group, though I've never tried to do so with a gallon of beer in my system, this could get real interesting.

    I promise not to do anything I'll regret...or at least to not remember it...

  14. #14
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    First off my congratulations! I wish you all the happiness that a good relationship can bring you. After 20 plus years photographing weddings I can give you better advice about the wedding than a bachelor party. The last bachelor party I attended was in Alamogordo, NM and I had to walk through metal detectors to enter the bar, a first for me. I did succesfully pick the winner of the wet t-shirt contest. Which is why I must say Montreal sounds like an excellent choice. The Casino can be fun. As far as hotels, I would have to suggest you avoid the Holiday Inn Midtown. Have a good time and we will be anxious for a report.
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