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  1. #1
    If you can't run-walk. Bernd's Avatar
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    Anger Management

    Came across this tip and thought I will share it.

    Anger Management


    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to

    take it

    out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

    someone you don't know.



    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten

    to make. I found the number and dialled it. A man answered, saying

    "Hello."

    I

    Politely said, "This is David. Could I please speak with Robert

    Campbell?"



    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f*kin

    number!"

    and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone

    could be so rude. When I tracked down Robert's correct number to call him,

    I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.



    After hanging up with him, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're a Cnut!" and hung

    up.



    I wrote his number down with the word 'Cnut' next to it, and put it in my

    desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really

    bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're a Cnut!" It always cheered me up.



    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic "Cnut" calling

    would have to stop. So, I called his number and said,"Hi, this is John

    Smith from BT . I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller

    ID Program?"



    He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back

    and said, "That's because you're a Cnut!"



    One day I was at Lakeside Shopping Centre, getting ready to pull into a

    parking spot. Some guy in a gunmetal grey Land Rover cut me off and

    pulled

    into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled

    that

    I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a

    "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number.



    A couple of days later, right after calling the first Cnut (I had his

    number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the Land Rover

    Cnut,

    too.



    I said, "Is this the man with the gunmetal grey Land Rover for sale?"

    Yes,

    it is", he said. "Can you tell me where I can see it?" I asked. "Yes,

    I live at 129 Alice Street, in Ilford. It's a terraced house, and the

    car's parked right out in front."



    "What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Steve Hansen," he said.

    "When's a good time to catch you, Steve?" "I'm home most days as I'm currently

    unemployed." "Listen, Steve, can I tell you something?" "Yes?"

    "Steve,

    you're a Cnut!"



    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when

    I

    had

    a problem, I had two a**eholes to call. Then one day I came up with an

    idea. I called Cnut #1.

    "Hello?"

    "You're a Cnut!" (But I didn't hang up.)

    "Are you still there?" he asked.

    "Yeah," I said.

    "Stop calling me," he screamed.

    "Make me," I said.

    "Who are you?" he asked.

    "My name is Steve Hansen."

    "Yeah? Where do you live?"

    "I live at 129 Alice Street, Ilford, a terraced house, with my gunmetal

    grey Land Rover parked out the front."

    He said, "I'm coming over right now, Steve. And you had better start

    saying your prayers."

    I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, Cnut," and hung up.

    Then I called Cnut #2. "Hello?" he said.

    "Hello, Cnut," I said.

    He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

    "You'll do what?" I said.

    "I'll kick your a*se," he exclaimed.

    I answered, "Well, Cnut, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

    now."

    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived

    at

    129 Alice Street, Ilford , and that I was on my way over there to

    kill my gay lover.



    Then I called Channel 5 News about the hoodie war going down in Alice

    Street, Ilford .



    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Alice Street. I got

    there just in time to watch two Cnuts beating the cr*p out of each other in

    front of six police cars, an overhead police helicopter and a News crew.



    Result....



    Now I feel MUCH better.



    Take it from me, this anger management really works...!!!


    Peace

    Bernd
    "Let The Earth Bear Witness."

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    Bernd you are my hero! I have much less anger just from reading your post.

    I was roadraged by a guy who kept saying I know who you are, you're Nathan's dad. Well as most know I am not anyones dad. My mother was in the car and in her best supportive tone she said "and you didn't do anything wrong this time". He kept playing games and jumping out of his car and banging on the windows so finally I said to him playing the part of Nathan's dad "meet me at my house and you can try to kick my ass". Having no idea who this guy or Nathan's dad was I did not have the joy of witnessing any confrontataion. I do know the roadrager really hated Nathan's dad.

    I have found in life that when someone jumps out of their car to try to attack you it would require less effort to stay in your car and run them over then to get out and fight.
    JohnMichael
    Vinyl Rega Planar 2, Incognito rewire, Deepgroove subplatter, ceramic bearing, Michell Technoweight, Rega 24V motor, TTPSU, FunkFirm Achroplat platter, Michael Lim top and bottom braces, 2 Rega feet and one RDC cones. Grado Sonata, Moon 110 LP phono.
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  3. #3
    Suspended markw's Avatar
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    I was in the local convenience store one day in hte late 80's.

    While in there I noticed a neighbor from up the street who is a policeman in town. I didn't know him well, but I do know the car he drives from seeing him going in and out of the driveway and working in his yard.

    Anyhow, I walk up to the counter and there's a loaf of bread on the counter, not mine. I put my purchases down, including cigarettes, since I smoked at the time. The clerk rang me up and included the loaf of bread. I gently disabused him of the fact that the bread was not mine and gently moved the bread to the side of the counter to avoid any confusion. He was cool.

    Now, some arsehole comes running frm the back yelling that's his bread and I touched it. I'm in trouble. Everyone in the store is looking now, including the cop. I tell him it's not his until he buys it and I go outside.

    Now, understand, the rest transpires within about two - three minutes tops.

    I go outside, stop to open the cigarettes, unwrap and throw out the cellophane, take one from the pack and, as I'm lighting one up, the arsehole comes out (and he's about a foot shorter than me) and startes poking me in the chest saying that if I ever touch his stuff again he'll f**k me up big time.

    I really don't like this treatment so I grab the finger he's poking me with and gently start to bend it up. Not enough to break it, but enough to hurt. As he's starting to kneel down to keep from breaking it, I let go and start walking away.

    You would think he had enough, right? Well, uh... no.

    He starts calling me every name in the book, runs to his car and opens his trunk. He reaches in and brings out a baseball bat.

    now, this is important... I noticed that he parked his car is parked on the passenger side of the policeman's car.... My car is on the far side of the lot.

    As I'm telling him that he really, really doesn't want to engage me I'm walking to the drivers side of the policemans car and make like I'm putting the key in the door. Now, he's not coming around to my side but he's getting quite agitated. I help him along.

    Now he starts slamming the bat into the windshield abnd hood of the policeman's car saying "Oh, yeah? Wadaaya donna do now, big mouth? Come and get me! I'll f**k you up!" and some such. He keeps slamming the bat and cursing me out. People in the parking lot are watching this whole scene with both horror and amusement, kind of like an auto accident.

    I'll never forget his face when the policeman came out and saw this yahoo yelling and bashing his car and yelld "WHAT THE F**K ARE YOU DOING TO MY CAR???"

    I just quietly turned, walked to my car, got in and left while yahoo tried to explain that he was trying to get me, not him. The cop was saying "I don't give a dang about him. YOU were the one trashing my car, not him".

    I drove by about 20 minutes later and there were three police cars in the lot...

  4. #4
    If you can't run-walk. Bernd's Avatar
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    LOL.
    I guess a loaf of bread will never taste the same again to him.

    Peace

    Bernd
    "Let The Earth Bear Witness."

  5. #5
    Class of the clown GMichael's Avatar
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    Where was Darwin when we needed him?
    WARNING! - The Surgeon General has determined that, time spent listening to music is not deducted from one's lifespan.

  6. #6
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    You guys are awesome! I'm having a huge problem with one of our customers right now, who is the biggest a**shole to ever walk the earth. The customer finally crossed the line and I met with my boss to discuss the situation today. He's actually considering cancelling the customer's contract because he's such an a**hole (some people just aren't worth the business that they give). I would love nothing more than to set this guy up in either of the above scenarios.

    Thanks for the laugh. Your timing couldn't have been more perfect.

  7. #7
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bernd
    LOL.
    I guess a loaf of bread will never taste the same again to him.
    No kidding. I'm sure that he got lots of bread (and water) where he was headed.

  8. #8
    Do What? jrhymeammo's Avatar
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    Thanks Bernd.

    I'm using your idea to take care of my EBay problem right now.

    hehehehehehheeeeeeeeeeeeee

    man o' man.

    -JRA

  9. #9
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Well? Don't leave us stranded man. What's your plan?

  10. #10
    I took a headstart... basite's Avatar
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    you guys are giving me alot of inspiration...
    Life is music!

    Mcintosh MA6400 Integrated
    Double Advent speakers
    Thiel CS2.3's
    *DIY Lenco L75 TT
    * SME 3012 S2
    * Rega RB-301
    *Denon DL-103 in midas body
    *Denon DL-304
    *Graham slee elevator EXP & revelation
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    Marantz CD5001 OSE
    MIT AVt 2 IC's
    Sonic link Black earth IC's
    Siltech MXT New york IC's
    Kimber 4VS speakercable
    Furutech powercord and plugs.

    I'm a happy 20 year old...

  11. #11
    Do What? jrhymeammo's Avatar
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    ~~I got my Money back, I got my money back(singing)~~

    So this guy who tried to rip me off on a purchase I made thru ebay, he finally gave me my money back.

    So, I kept calling him at work. He is an automobile salesman in NY. I wont mention the place or his name.
    I would call the secretary of that place, and she would have to call him in. Alot of times he was out in the lot, so he had to run inside expecting a sales call. The best part was that I could just see him running inside.

    The hardest part was acting like I was intersted in buying a car to this female receptionist. I had to get some of my friends(girls worked best) to talk to them.

    The most important part was that I had to make sure I wasnt making any threatning comments. After that I really didnt have to do much except telling him that I just wanted my money back.
    He was really furious and acting like he was "winning" the conversation. The New York guys can talk smack, boy oh boy.
    It was very satisfying cuz he had to answer all of my calls. Maybe he started talking thrash to his potential customers thinking they were me. AWESOME!!!!!!
    I called him maybe 10-12 times.

    He kinda got clever and had his manager on the same line. I ended up talking to the manager one time. Suprisingly he was fairly calm. I explaining my situation, and he asked me to stop calling the place. I told him I will be happy to stop as long as I get my money back.
    The very next day, he sent me paypal to be collected.
    Maybe I need to call him to collect 3% service fee I lost thru paypal, but I've never been this satisifed thru Ebay.

    Thanks Bernd

    Peace

  12. #12
    Crackhead Extraordinaire Dusty Chalk's Avatar
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    Sweet. I love stories with a happy ending.
    Eschew fascism.
    Truth Will Out.
    Quote Originally Posted by stevef22
    you guys are crackheads.
    I remain,
    Peter aka Dusty Chalk

  13. #13
    Musicaholic Forums Moderator ForeverAutumn's Avatar
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    Way to go! Nice job, getting his boss involved too. Now his employer knows what a low life he is.

  14. #14
    Super Moderator Site Moderator JohnMichael's Avatar
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    Yes a very good job! Using others to initiate the calls fantastic idea. Annoying him and getting your money back priceless.
    JohnMichael
    Vinyl Rega Planar 2, Incognito rewire, Deepgroove subplatter, ceramic bearing, Michell Technoweight, Rega 24V motor, TTPSU, FunkFirm Achroplat platter, Michael Lim top and bottom braces, 2 Rega feet and one RDC cones. Grado Sonata, Moon 110 LP phono.
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  15. #15
    Man of the People Forums Moderator bobsticks's Avatar
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    Nice work, j. Next stop--Pacific Heights!
    So, I broke into the palace
    With a sponge and a rusty spanner
    She said : "Eh, I know you, and you cannot sing"
    I said : "That's nothing - you should hear me play piano"

  16. #16
    Suspended markw's Avatar
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    Good Job. Car dealers suck.

    Quote Originally Posted by jrhymeammo
    ~~I got my Money back, I got my money back(singing)~~

    So this guy who tried to rip me off on a purchase I made thru ebay, he finally gave me my money back.

    So, I kept calling him at work. He is an automobile salesman in NY. I wont mention the place or his name.
    I would call the secretary of that place, and she would have to call him in. Alot of times he was out in the lot, so he had to run inside expecting a sales call. The best part was that I could just see him running inside.

    The hardest part was acting like I was intersted in buying a car to this female receptionist. I had to get some of my friends(girls worked best) to talk to them.

    The most important part was that I had to make sure I wasnt making any threatning comments. After that I really didnt have to do much except telling him that I just wanted my money back.
    He was really furious and acting like he was "winning" the conversation. The New York guys can talk smack, boy oh boy.
    It was very satisfying cuz he had to answer all of my calls. Maybe he started talking thrash to his potential customers thinking they were me. AWESOME!!!!!!
    I called him maybe 10-12 times.

    He kinda got clever and had his manager on the same line. I ended up talking to the manager one time. Suprisingly he was fairly calm. I explaining my situation, and he asked me to stop calling the place. I told him I will be happy to stop as long as I get my money back.
    The very next day, he sent me paypal to be collected.
    Maybe I need to call him to collect 3% service fee I lost thru paypal, but I've never been this satisifed thru Ebay.

    Thanks Bernd

    Peace
    Many years ago, a buddy of mine took a car out fir a test drive from one of the big highway dealers. They required a deposit ($100 -$ 200, I forget exactly) "for insurance purposes" that was to be returned to him when he returned.

    Well, you guessed it. He treturned the car, said thanks but no thanks, and now, all of a sudden, it could only be applied to the purchase of the car.

    He didn't take kindly to this. He also had several children, all below 10 or so years of age. He took it upon himself to buy them ice cream cones and take them to the dealership and had them run loose in and out of all the cars in the building.

    They would come out and tell him to get the kids out of the cars and he said if you touch them, I'll "F" you up and sue the "S" outta you to boot. Give me the money you owe me and I'll leave. They didn't give in.

    So, he repeated this several morte times. Aftera while, when they saw him comingh they would lock up the cars, highly pissing off any "real" customers. While the three kids were dripping melting ice cream all over the cars, furniture and what not, my buddy took it upon himself to tell the customers the real deal about this "deposit" and, from what he said, in all cases they walked out on the spot.

    After a while he would leave, promising to come back.

    One time they called the police. When the cop heard why he was doing this, he suggested they simply give him his money back. The cop said that if this hit the papers, and he would make sure it did if he had to arrest my buddy, it would look real bad for them and the Better Business Bureau would be all over them.

    They gave him the money back. Cash. They never saw him again.

    Car dealers suck.

  17. #17
    Do What? jrhymeammo's Avatar
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    You know what makes me furious? People basically cutting me off when my broke ass is searching thru used CD/LP bins. I do uinderstand that there are no law that says you must start from A-Z. But once in awhile people will tip-toe over with their dirty hand leaning in the bin I'm scrammeging. People are ruthless. But if I ever see a McIntosh Amp on sale for $50, I will knock over everyone in sight. Oppppppss!!!!!

  18. #18
    Crackhead Extraordinaire Dusty Chalk's Avatar
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    Sorry, that would be me. I was looking for that dang second album from Peace Love & Pitbulls, Red Sonic Underwear.
    Eschew fascism.
    Truth Will Out.
    Quote Originally Posted by stevef22
    you guys are crackheads.
    I remain,
    Peter aka Dusty Chalk

  19. #19
    Do What? jrhymeammo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dusty Chalk
    Sorry, that would be me. I was looking for that dang second album from Peace Love & Pitbulls, Red Sonic Underwear.
    If I see a hippy with long red hair cuttin me off, I'm slashin him with my samurai sword. Hope that wont be you.

    Peace and love
    but no pits

    -JRA

  20. #20
    Crackhead Extraordinaire Dusty Chalk's Avatar
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    I do look like a hippy, but my hair isn't red (well...maybe a little). But that avatar is not a picture of me.

    Hope that sword is Japanese steel. I know how to defend myself under most attacks.

    That said, you should try decaf. Not everyone needs to be an anal-retentive methodical perfectionist like you.

    No seriously, if it's any consolation, I was in a rush. I came back and went through the entire stack...except since everyone else was going A-Z, I went in reverse and made everyone else go around me. God, you should have seen all the glares I got -- I think there was a Starbucks next store.
    Eschew fascism.
    Truth Will Out.
    Quote Originally Posted by stevef22
    you guys are crackheads.
    I remain,
    Peter aka Dusty Chalk

  21. #21
    I took a headstart... basite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jrhymeammo
    But if I ever see a McIntosh Amp on sale for $50, I will knock over everyone in sight. Oppppppss!!!!!

    hmmm, $50 is really hard, i did see some vintage Mcintosh receivers on ebay for like $100

    amps come at $650 at least.

    ooh no, here i found something,

    http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll...ayphotohosting

    would it be a joke??
    Life is music!

    Mcintosh MA6400 Integrated
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    Thiel CS2.3's
    *DIY Lenco L75 TT
    * SME 3012 S2
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    *Denon DL-304
    *Graham slee elevator EXP & revelation
    *Lehmann audio black cube SE
    Marantz CD5001 OSE
    MIT AVt 2 IC's
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    Siltech MXT New york IC's
    Kimber 4VS speakercable
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    I'm a happy 20 year old...

  22. #22
    Do What? jrhymeammo's Avatar
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    Dusty, the sword I "have" was designed in Japan but manufactured by a 4 year old in a 3rd world country. Much like audio gears, it doesnt weigh 50 lbs like it used to. 98% of material is plastic. Handle is made of soborthane to reduce vibration on my hand when I'm samuraing. 50 different slashing mode is kinda useless. I'm old-school. I like mono-stabbing. I think I need to go buy another wet vacuum to convert it into an automatic sword cleaning machine.

    Bastie
    I have no idea. It's not a typical McIntosh I've seen. I bet it'll go for about 700 bucks.

  23. #23
    Forum Regular
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    Progress

    There is a particular girl at the local supermarket who works in customer service, and sometimes sells me the money orders I use to pay bills with (checks/cheques are an endangered species, IMO), She often makes mistakes, and I have treated her harshly in the past. The other day, she punched in $15.00 for the service charge instead of the $1.50 that she should have. I was quite nice about it, and that is characteristic of me these days. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I just intone "That's OK, I'll be over this tomorrow, and you'll still be an a**hole!"

    BTW. my Katana is hand forged, heavy, and the handle is not sorbothane, but hand-cast bronze. Experts tell me it's too blade-heavy. It's not Japanese, but an SCA thing. Line up some melons, and you have a good outlet for anger...

    Laz

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