Ugh...

This was the worst movie I've seen in a looooong time. Even Scarlett Johannsen's considerable physical presence couldn't save this ode to stupidity. Dumb story, horrible direction (I swear, Bay would show a dog pissing into the wind in slo-mo if he could!), and rotten acting. Yessir, it was a veritable trifecta of dung.

To think, it usually takes a few shots of Tequila to make me feel this bad...