Blade Trinity--Stay far, far away!! [Archive] - Audio & Video Forums


View Full Version : Blade Trinity--Stay far, far away!!

12-10-2004, 07:28 AM
Against better judgement and terrible reviews, my better half and I went to see Blade: Trinity last night at the local megaplex cine...if you enjoyed either of the first two like I did, save yourself the destruction of your good feelings about the franchise and skip this movie. In fact, watching steam coming off of dog poop in the snow would be more entertaining. **Slight spoilers ahead**

Starring Wesley Snipes as "Blade" once again but with even less talking or plot! Half of the movie consists of the crew dressing themselves or downloading songs to an I-Pod. The other half consists of slow-motion walking with ill-placed trance techno that failed just as much as the original two succeeded in their sound-tracks. Dracula, or Drake as he is now known is meant to be "the original", unblemished vampire, but comes off as a megalomaniac night-club patron. Dialogue mostly consists of extremely forced use of explatives, such as "d@ck wad", "Hello my name is, f*** you" on Ryan Reynold's name tag, and the comedic genius of the extended middle finger. I knew the film was going to be a crap bomb when i watched the tac-suited vampire flick off the sun in the opening scene.

HHH, or Paul Levesque, plays the main enforcer of the Vampires, and spends much of his time with his vampire dog (yay...a vampire dog.) or showing his chromed fangs in worthless closeups. Parker Posey, who usually is prime in her acting ability, obviously took her cues from the Rocky Horror Picture Show in the over-the-top acting department. That being said, her abilities shine through now and again and are probably the one, insignificant saving grace of this pile of excrement. Hell even Kris Kristofferson looks out of place and uncomfortable in this movie, neither being believable nor embracing the grizzled old man like he was in the previous two.

If you decide not to heed this advice, and see this POS that makes Showgirls look like Shakespeare, see if you can find the "Predator" rip offs (the opening fang face, and the "ready to die motherf***er?" like the "what the f*** are you" in predator). the over-used little girl hiding in the vent shaft ala aliens...THIS MOVIE SUCKS!!! STAY FAR, FAR AWAY!!!

12-10-2004, 07:41 AM
No seriously thanks for the "heads-up". I'm truly sorry it was so bad. Was it as bad as say Aliens 3? Now THAT was a franchise killer if ever I saw one.

Da Worfster :(

12-10-2004, 08:10 AM
Well, if you could actually HEAR the movie, it's already got Alien 3 licked!!!

Man, there should be laws protecting the consumer from bad movies. Sorry to hear about your bad experience.

I thought the first two were pretty mediocre, special effects filled films that probably could have been made-for-tv productions.
Don't think I'll even waste my time on this this 3rd installment.

12-10-2004, 01:05 PM
I'm sorry but I'm going to have to ask the moderator to merge this thread with the "movies we DON'T want to see..." thread. Keep it clean, fellas.

12-10-2004, 05:49 PM
Is Parker Posey really in this, Or were you referring to Jessica Biel?

12-11-2004, 12:17 AM
posey plays the lead vampire