This Is Making Me Insane !!!!!!!

[Swish]

Ok, I was already insane, so I guess this is killing me. Let me explain.

So I was flipping thru the TV channels a few nights ago, something men rarely do, and I catch part of a VH1 special titled "Blender's 50 Most Awesomely Bad Rock Songs" or something close to that. I know Blender Magazine printed this list recently and someone posted about it here, but I didn't know VH1 was going to air a special on it. I don't subscribe to Blender and wouldn't think to follow their advice when it comes to buying music, but their columnists were pretty damned funny on this show. They would run a short portion of each song video and intersperce it with lots of snide comments from the Blender folks. For instance, while running Huey Lewis' "The Heart of Rock n' Roll is Still Beating", one of them said "No, it stopped beating when it heard this dreadful song!". They really had me laughing with their caustic wit.

Some of the other "memorable" songs that I caught were "Dancing on the Ceiling" by Lionel Ritchie (this guy made a fortune putting out this kidna crap), "Never Gonna Give You Up" by the totally lame Rick Astley , "Jenny From the Block" by Jennifer Lopez (why does she bother?), "They Built This City", Starship's dreadful piece of schlock rock that has the dubious honor of making #1 on their list and giving Grace Slick a reason to leave the industry, and "You're the Inspiration" by Chicago. I was never a fan of Chicago, but they were ok before that wimp Peter Cetera started doing all those horrible fballads, each being worse thant the one before, with lyrics that could be written by Hallmark.

Most of the songs on their list are a bit dated, but I know there's plenty of bad songs on the radio these days. However, I haven't worked in an office building where I was forced to listen to the top 40 dreck for over 8 years, but the scars remain. I should probably seek therapy to overcome the obvious issues I have with it.

So what's my problem and why am I going crazy? I CAN"T GET THESE PATHETIC SONGS OUT OF MY HEAD !!!!! I've been drinking heavily and playing stuff like Davey and cc's "Girls Against Boys" comp and Hum's "Downward is Heavenward", which is about as heavy as I get, but it's not working! Perhaps time will make this go away, but any suggestions from my Rave Rec buds would be appreciated.

Swish Baby

[BarryL]

I CAN"T GET THESE PATHETIC SONGS OUT OF MY HEAD !!!!! I've been drinking heavily.

Swish Baby

What you need to do is find some respectable great melodies that you hum. Try some Tears for Fears or Jimmy Webb. Hit the Beatles CDs or the first seven Moody Blues albums (I suggest the comp This Is The Moody Blues, not the newer greatest hits packages). How about some ELO or the first Fountains of Wayne CD?

Or, how about facing up to the truth about your biological make up, and really sit back and enjoy the Carpenters, Barry Mannilow, and The Captain & Tennile. It's nothing to be ashamed of. My sister loves those bands.

[ForeverAutumn]

Mandy is really my favourite song. And Captian and Tennile's version of Muskrat Love? It brings a tear to my eye. So touching. Music doesn't get much better than that. Yes, Swish, that's the solution. A little Muskrat Love for ol' Swishy. :p

Seriously now, the true solution to your problem lies in a meditative chant. First, your heavy drinking cannot be done in the comfort of your own home. No, my friend, you must find the busiest, toughest, dirtiest bar in the wrong side of town. You must order imported Canadian beer. Preferably a Molson or Labatt's product. After a few beers, you must stand on your chair. Punch your arm up into the air getting a good solid rhythym of triplets going. And then begin your meditative chant.

GO LIGHTNING GO!!!

Only then will you be cured.

[Swish]

What you need to do is find some respectable great melodies that you hum. Try some Tears for Fears or Jimmy Webb. Hit the Beatles CDs or the first seven Moody Blues albums (I suggest the comp This Is The Moody Blues, not the newer greatest hits packages). How about some ELO or the first Fountains of Wayne CD?

Or, how about facing up to the truth about your biological make up, and really sit back and enjoy the Carpenters, Barry Mannilow, and The Captain & Tennile. It's nothing to be ashamed of. My sister loves those bands.

right Barry? ;)

[Stone]

You're a bastard. It's one thing for you to have that dreck in your head; it's another thing to cause others (read: me) to cause it to incessantly play in their head. ("Marconi plays the mamba . . . ")

I watched part of the VH1 thing last night. Some of it was pretty funny. (Let's see, what rhymes with "feeling?" Kneeling? No, that's too sexual. I know! Ceiling! Dancing on the ceiling! OR the commentary on Limp Bizkit's "Rollin'" being nothing more than a nu-metal "Hokey Pokey")

[BarryL]

right Barry? ;)


Yeah, so I like Jon Anderson and his limpy ethereal ways on stage, and admit that Wakeman looks good in a dress, er...a cape.

If you want to have some fun, go into a store where people like to browse, like a book store, and start humming a Beatles tune that everyone knows. Just plant that meme right in there. Then about 15 minutes later, try to see how many people are humming along to Nowhere Man, or worse, Yellow Submarine. If you're really cruel, try whistling It's A Small World After All.

Now I know that some people reading this will have that annoying It's A Small World After All tune swimming in their head all day now.

Curse that BarryL!

Me, I remember being infected by a stupid line from The Flower Kings (a prog group):

"I'm a clown, I'm a clown in the eyes of the world."

And it makes me wonder...

[Dusty Chalk]

"...Skyrockets in Flight,
Afternoon Delight!..."

[Swish]

"...Skyrockets in Flight,
Afternoon Delight!..."

It's another sad reminder of the enormous amount of dreck available in the cutout bins.

Swishy Poo

[BarryL]

It's another sad reminder of the enormous amount of dreck available in the cutout bins.

Swishy Poo

A great line from Spock's Beard, another prog group, from the song The Good Don't Last:

"Could have watched Black Like Me, Instead we watched big guns
And everybody knows the words to Season's In The Sun
Could've had give, could've had take
We could've made anything we wanted to make
So we made Wheel of Fortune and all the popular songs
We made a land where crap is king, and the good don't last too long."

Are you old enough to remember Season's In The Sun by Terry Jacks:
"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the wine, and the songs, and the seasons are now gone."
Must've been around the summer of 1973?

[Swish]

A great line from Spock's Beard, another prog group, from the song The Good Don't Last:

"Could have watched Black Like Me, Instead we watched big guns
And everybody knows the words to Season's In The Sun
Could've had give, could've had take
We could've made anything we wanted to make
So we made Wheel of Fortune and all the popular songs
We made a land where crap is king, and the good don't last too long."

Are you old enough to remember Season's In The Sun by Terry Jacks:
"We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the wine, and the songs, and the seasons are now gone."
Must've been around the summer of 1973?

Sure I was old enough. I'm 46 now, so that means I was uh, errrrr, um, 15 back then. It's another wimpy song I'm trying to forget, so thanks for the reminder. The rumor was that he was dying of cancer or something, which the lyrics seem to suggest, but I think that was bogus. I'll have to look into that with the help of the internet as invented by that Alpha Male Al Gore.

Swishster