Take THAT ya limey bastiches!!!!!

[Worf101]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMRMW1FXSHw

You just gotta laugh!!!

Worf

[bobsticks]

Wasn't that right before we broke open a can at Yorktown?

Semi-lolz but it seems like a fairly transparent ploy to play up the patriotism angle. Were I an ad exec I would prolly focus more on the performance-based virtues of the Challenger especially given its price class. Not rainin' on your parade Worfster (don't need no wrath today). It's a humorous bit but maybe not the most efficient of message senders...

[Worf101]

Wasn't that right before we broke open a can at Yorktown?

Semi-lolz but it seems like a fairly transparent ploy to play up the patriotism angle. Were I an ad exec I would prolly focus more on the performance-based virtues of the Challenger especially given its price class. Not rainin' on your parade Worfster (don't need no wrath today). It's a humorous bit but maybe not the most efficient of message senders...
Parody, joke, snickers.... I'd a used a Ford meself. Hell, the company's so lacking in the nutsack dept. they pulled it almost before it even aired. Lest they offend... Just a joke...

Worf

[kexodusc]

Parody, joke, snickers.... I'd a used a Ford meself. Hell, the company's so lacking in the nutsack dept. they pulled it almost before it even aired. Lest they offend... Just a joke...

Worf

Doubt it had anything to do with nutsack dept...The Ad folks prolly should have looked up the fact the Challenger is built in Canada before playing the American patriotism angle...

[audio amateur]

Are you guys (north Americans) following it much?

[Feanor]

Doubt it had anything to do with nutsack dept...The Ad folks prolly should have looked up the fact the Challenger is built in Canada before playing the American patriotism angle...
Patriotism, like religion, is for the simple minded.

[bobsticks]

Patriotism, like religion, is for the simple minded.



Main Entry: pa·tri·ot·ism
Pronunciation: \ˈpā-trē-ə-ˌti-zəm, chiefly British ˈpa-\
Function: noun
Date: circa 1726
: love for or devotion to one's country


I would argue that blind patriotism is simpleminded but one can love one's country while still questioning/protesting the actions of its leaders/citizens.

[bobsticks]

Are you guys (north Americans) following it much?

What's "it"?

[audio amateur]

What's "it"?
World Cup (soccer)

[GMichael]

Too bad they didn't throw in a couple of stuffed uniforms to run over.

[bobsticks]

What's soccer?

[GMichael]

What's soccer?
Futeball

[bobsticks]

oh...they still play that? Professionally?...in public?

[audio amateur]

What's soccer?
Are you messing or did you not understand the advert:ciappa:

[bobsticks]

Are you messing or did you not understand the advert:ciappa:

I'm just messing with ya...I have quite a bit of respect for soccer players...along with rugby players and decatheletes they are some of the best conditioned sportsmen in the world.

That said I'd rather look at paint drying or torture a clown at the Chicago Museum of Art than actually watch a soccer match.

[GMichael]

I'm just messing with ya...I have quite a bit of respect for soccer players...along with rugby players and decatheletes they are some of the best conditioned sportsmen in the world.

That said I'd rather look at paint drying or tortue a clown at the Chicago Museum of Art than actually watch a soccer match.

SCORE...............................
SCORE...............................
SCORE...............................
SCORE...............................

[bobsticks]

You'd have to watch 7 games to see that much scoring...

[ForeverAutumn]

That's just GMs average evening at ladies night. :D

[JohnMichael]

That said I'd rather look at paint drying or torture a clown at the Chicago Museum of Art than actually watch a soccer match.




Ya "Send in the Clowns".

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Are you guys (north Americans) following it much?

I definately am...and in 3D at that!!!!

[bobsticks]

Oooohhh...nothing better than the scintillating human drama in an hour of running up and down resulting in a zero-zero tie...and in 3D!!!...yippee :ihih:

[Feanor]

I would argue that blind patriotism is simpleminded but one can love one's country while still questioning/protesting the actions of its leaders/citizens.
One should love one's country so that justice be done internally and externally; one shouldn't have to love if "right or wrong".

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Considering it was the American car industry that had a meltdown, this commercial is somewhat ironic. We have failed in the car industry, and our freedoms are slowly being eroded away. I guess this commercial was done before 9/11... .....

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Oooohhh...nothing better than the scintillating human drama in an hour of running up and down resulting in a zero-zero tie...and in 3D!!!...yippee :ihih:

You can get you finger off that sarcasm button now......besides, you should see how far out those zeros converge from the screen. You talk about in your face!

[audio amateur]

You'd have to watch 7 games to see that much scoring...
True, there isn't usually a huge amount of scoring going on... But there are exceptions, like Portugal scoring 7-0 against North Korea yesterday.
I really only get excited about the World Cup...

[Worf101]

I'm NOT a soccer fan but my sports obsessed son is. He can tell you who played left wing on Slobvias last world cup team in 1962. He got me into watching this sport and when in Amsterdam last summer we went to watch Ajax, the local squad play a match. Their best player is playing for some latin American team in the World Cup now.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v366/Worf101/Amsterdam%20August%2009/AjaxSoccerGame18.jpg
My sports mad Knucklehaid at the footie.

Now you can't go to something or watch something on TV but for so long without picking some things up or getting involved. So... thanks to Ian I've been watching the World Cup almost from the start. What I've seen thus far:

1. Little scoring.
2. Lots of floppin', divin' and whinin'
3. Crappy calls.
4. The last glimpse of players on the North Korean Squad (at least alive anyways).
5. The complete demise of European footie.
6. The absolute domination of latin american footie.
7. The French being.... well the French!!!!

See what going abroad does... broadens the mind.

Worf

[GMichael]

That's just GMs average evening at ladies night. :D
:blush2: I thought you said that you'd never tell. :blush2:

[audio amateur]

7. The French being.... well the French!!!!
You said that right. The whole situation is very sad though, the team has really dissapointed the whole of France and tinted their image globally. Today was their last chance of setting things right but they were ousted by South Africa.

[bobsticks]

I doubt they "tinted their image globally"...

That's like the revelation that Dahmer was a jaywalker.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

I doubt they "tinted their image globally"...

That's like the revelation that Dahmer was a jaywalker.

LOLOLOL......

[luvtolisten]

Patriotism, like religion, is for the simple minded.

I for one am grateful for all those "simple minded" patriots who gave us the freedom we enjoy today.

[bobsticks]

I for one am grateful for all those "simple minded" patriots who gave us the freedom we enjoy today.

Agreed. Good to see you posting again LtL!

[Smokey]

That said I'd rather look at paint drying or torture a clown at the Chicago Museum of Art than actually watch a soccer match.

Not that watching Football is any better :D

[Feanor]

I for one am grateful for all those "simple minded" patriots who gave us the freedom we enjoy today.
Simple-minded partiotism also brought us Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, the Balkin wars, Revolutionary Iran, and Stalinist North Korea, (to name a few).

[luvtolisten]

Simple-minded partiotism also brought us Nazi Germany, Fascist Italy, the Balkin wars, Revolutionary Iran, and Stalinist North Korea, (to name a few).

It also put an end to all of that as well.

[Worf101]

As the originator of this thread I'm calling "hijack". I'm all for spirited yet respectful political debate (cept these days most folks forget the respectful part) however this thread was initiated for jokes sake. There's a no holds barred rumpus room available for knives and brickbats, I personally have enough drama at work and home and don't need to seek it here.

Worf

[Rich-n-Texas]

I agree Worf.

Yet another reason why there are only 35 or so active users here.

[ForeverAutumn]

As the originator of this thread I'm calling "hijack". I'm all for spirited yet respectful political debate (cept these days most folks forget the respectful part) however this thread was initiated for jokes sake. There's a no holds barred rumpus room available for knives and brickbats, I personally have enough drama at work and home and don't need to seek it here.

Worf

Nicely put.

[luvtolisten]

As the originator of this thread I'm calling "hijack". I'm all for spirited yet respectful political debate (cept these days most folks forget the respectful part) however this thread was initiated for jokes sake. There's a no holds barred rumpus room available for knives and brickbats, I personally have enough drama at work and home and don't need to seek it here.

Worf

I apologize for hijacking this thread. I also apologize if I offended or disrespected anyone here in anyway. I have always felt the "love" here thru, your kindness, respect, helpfulness and humor. I would like to project that back to you all now, and that includes Feanor (Bill) who gave me direction over a year ago while setting up my PC to my system which I still appreciate to this day. I sincerely don't feel any animosity towards anyone, in fact, just the opposite.

Besides, I would rather hear one of Worf's "The Old Man " stories anyday.

[ForeverAutumn]

IMO LtL, you didn't hijack the thread. You responded to a comment that didn't belong here in the first place...especially since the originator of this thread is well known for his service to his country.

[GMichael]

Jokes people jokes. This thread is about jokes. Who's got something funny to say?
Don't look at me. I'm all out of jokes. Just 'cause I look funny doesn't mean that I'm a.... well... skip it.

[bobsticks]

As the originator of this thread I'm calling "hijack". I'm all for spirited yet respectful political debate (cept these days most folks forget the respectful part) however this thread was initiated for jokes sake...Worf

Okay...

Two 90-year-old women, Rose and Barb had been friends all of their lives.

When it was clear that Rose was dying, Barb visited her every day.

One day Barb said, 'Rose, we both loved playing women's softball all our lives, and we played all through High School. Please do me one favor: when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's women's softball there.'

Rose looked up at Barb from her deathbed and said, 'Barb, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.'

Shortly after that, Rose passed on.

A few nights later, Barb was awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to her, 'Barb, Barb.'

'Who is it?', asked Barb, sitting up suddenly. 'Who is it?'

'Barb -- it's me, Rose..'

'You're not Rose. Rose just died.'

'I'm telling you, it's me, Rose,' insisted the voice.

'Rose! Where are you?'

'In Heaven,' replied Rose.. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.'

'Tell me the good news first,' said Barb.

'The good news,' Rose said, 'is that there's softball in Heaven. Better yet all of our old buddies who died before us are here, too.. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always springtime, and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play softball all we want, and we never get tired.'

'That's fantastic,' said Barb. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?'

'You're pitching Tuesday.'

[ForeverAutumn]

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things..

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked!!!

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home.........

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods.

[bobsticks]

Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them and points to the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!"

Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points to the same guy and says, "I just screwed your mom, and it was s-w-e-e-t!"

Again the guy refuses totake the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "And your mom loved it."

Finally, the guy just can"t take it anymore. He looks at the drunk and yells, "Go home, Dad! You're drunk again!"

[bobsticks]

Actual Court Transcripts...







--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Just when you thought lawyers couldn't ruin their public image any more ...

Believe it or not, the following excerpts and quotes are parts of actual, real transcripts from cases that occurred in courts across the United States... Enjoy! :-)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?

A: I refuse to answer that question.

Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?

A: I refuse to answer that question.

Q: Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?

A: No.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Doctor, did you say he was shot in the woods?

A: No, I said he was shot in the lumbar region.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Are you married?

A: No, I'm divorced.

Q: And what did your husband do before you divorced him?

A: A lot of things I didn't know about.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies have been performed on dead people.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Were you acquainted with the defendant?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: Before or after he died?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE COURT: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present information from your minds, if you have any.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Did he pick the dog up by the ears?

A: No.

Q: What was he doing with the dog's ears?

A: Picking them up in the air.

Q: Where was the dog at this time?

A: Attached to the ears.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?

MR. BROOKS: Objection. That question should be taken out and shot.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: And lastly, Gary, all your responses must be oral. O.K.? What school do you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: How old are you?

A: Oral.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: What is your relationship with the plaintiff?

A: She is my daughter.

Q: Was she your daughter on February 13, 1979?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: ...and what did he do then?

A: He came home, and next morning he was dead.

Q: So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Could you see him from where you were standing?

A: I could see his head.

Q: And where was his head?

A: Just above his shoulders.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Do you drink when you're on duty?

A: I don't drink when I'm on duty, unless I come on duty drunk.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: (Showing man picture.) Is that you?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: And you were present when the picture was taken, right?


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q: Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

A: I have only one, you know.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

and last but not least...

Q: And was he dead when you performed the autopsy?

A: No, you idiot, he was sitting up on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy!