Bad joke, cain't stop muhself..... [Archive]

Worf101

09-22-2009, 05:30 AM

Three men: a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.

Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.

"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is
now overcrowded, therefore St Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven. If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."

The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' teachings," With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct. "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the philosopher disappeared.

The mathematician then asked, "Give me the most complicated formula you can ever think of!" With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct "Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.

The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"
The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat." The Devil did just that. The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart. Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"

The Devil inspected the seat and said, "The third hole from the
right." "Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my *******."

The idiot went to Heaven.

Da Worfster

audio amateur

09-22-2009, 07:27 AM

Funny that before i finished reading I knew the idiot would be going to heaven.

Auricauricle

09-22-2009, 08:25 AM

Good job, Worfie...!

Here's a PSA from our friends in Deutschesland!

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Rich-n-Texas

09-22-2009, 08:53 AM

Now THAT was funny.

You saved this thread Aa.

ForeverAutumn

09-22-2009, 09:21 AM

Good job, Worfie...!

Here's a PSA from our friends in Deutschesland!

You've officially hijacked this thread. That was hilarous!

Sorry Worf, but his video was funnier than your joke.

3LB

09-22-2009, 09:55 AM

That vid was absolutely brilliant

the joke was good, Worf, but you got upstaged

Auricauricle

09-22-2009, 10:33 AM

Oh, great...Now Sir Slope is gonna zap me with his Kling-gun!

BTW, this guy has quite a few o' these clips....Just learned about him this AM....

BTWBTW: Sorry, Sir! I dint mean to HJ yer...(Ouch!) Why'd you do that??

Worf101

09-22-2009, 11:01 AM

Ahem I say ANYONE can hijack any joke thread of mine as long as their joke is FUNNIER!!!!! If it ain't, down you go. Good joke there Nickel, missed you round these parts.

Da Worfster

Auricauricle

09-22-2009, 01:22 PM

Glad to be back in the saddle, Podnah...! Goin' my way t' the saloon....Anybody?

Auricauricle

09-23-2009, 12:39 PM

Sir Terrence the Terrible

09-24-2009, 01:25 PM

Auri,
This was not a thread hijack, but a humorous takeover. Good job for the laughs!

Auricauricle

09-24-2009, 03:35 PM

Thanks, Terrence...I was losing my sleep...That's a scary Kling-gun, y'know....

ForeverAutumn

09-25-2009, 07:14 AM

This isn't as good as Auri's video, but I thought it was cute.

John was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally decided on a centipede (100 leg bug) which came in a little white box to use as his house.

He took the box home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s place with me and have a beer?” Silence - there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?” Again, there was no answer - nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet. So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time. This time, he put his face up against the centipede’s house and shouted, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a beer with me?”

A little voice came out of the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”

Auricauricle

09-25-2009, 07:51 AM

Love it!

Worf101

09-30-2009, 03:44 AM

This isn't as good as Auri's video, but I thought it was cute.

John was lonely and so he decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. He went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally decided on a centipede (100 leg bug) which came in a little white box to use as his house.

He took the box home, found a good location for it, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the bar for a drink. So he asked the centipede in the box, “Would you like to go to Frank’s place with me and have a beer?” Silence - there was no answer from his new pet. This bothered him a bit, waited a few minutes and then asked him again, “How about going to the bar and having a beer with me?” Again, there was no answer - nothing but silence came from his new friend and pet. So, he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time. This time, he put his face up against the centipede’s house and shouted, “Hey, in there! Would you like to go to Frank’s place and have a beer with me?”

A little voice came out of the box, “I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
I can't believe I fell for that one!!!! Good one, good one.. LOL funny.

Da Worfster

Auricauricle

11-01-2009, 01:39 PM