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topspeed
03-30-2009, 10:42 PM
I'm speechless. :out:

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm


World's Greatest Tweak
Machina Dynamica's Teleportation Tweak
Long-Distance Audio & Video System Upgrade

Copyright 2007 ... Geoff Kait, Machina Dynamica



"I noted a vast improvement in depth and staging. The tone is pure,
correct-sounding and natural. In fact, I have never heard sound so real.
The Teleportation Tweak is a thing of indescribable beauty." - Customer, Sept 2007

The Teleportation Tweak, a phenomenal new product from Machina Dynamica, is an advanced quantum teleportation technique discovered and developed by Machina Dynamica for upgrading audio systems remotely over very long distances. The Teleportation Tweak works equally well over land line phones or cell phones. Machina Dynamica routinely performs the Teleportation Tweak for distances of 1000-4000 miles and has performed the Teleportation Tweak for distances greater than 10,000 miles. The Teleportation Tweak will also improve any video systems in the house, including plasma, HDTV and high end projection systems - better contrast, color saturation, color fidelity and resolution.

The Teleportation Tweak has a profound effect on the sound: (1) Clearer, (2) More information, (3) Greater frequency extension and (4) Lower distortion. But mostly importantly, the sound is very real. The tweak is performed during a phone call to Machina Dynamica from a landline phone or cell phone in any room of the house. The tweak itself takes about 20 seconds and will sound to the listener like a series of mechanical pulses.

The Teleportation Tweak is independent of distance and signal transmission medium and will work anywhere in the world. It is not necessary for the audio or video system to be ON at the time of the telephone call; however, if A/B comparison of the Teleportation Tweak before and after the call is desired, the customer's audio and/or video system should be turned ON and warmed up prior to the call. For audio, the customer can evaluate favorite tracks before and after the Teleportation Tweak is performed. For video systems, the picture quality (and sound) can also be evaluated before and after.

The effects of the Teleportation Tweak are instantaneous and the improvement to sound quality will be audible immediately; in fact, if the system is playing, the improvement can be heard while the Teleportation Tweak is being performed. The Teleportation Tweak excels in 3-dimensionality, lushness, inner detail and air. Bonus: The picture quality of any video system in the house will also be improved - better contrast and integrity of color; esp. noticeable are better skin tones, saturation of colors, shininess of surfaces, textures of fabrics, etc.

Customer should pay via Paypal or check/MO (payable to Geoff Kait) prior to calling Machina Dynamica via landline or cell phone.

30 day money back guarantee.

Machina Dynamica's Teleportation Tweak $60. (emphasis added for the profoundly stupid)

bobsticks
03-31-2009, 12:05 AM
Okay, just for ****s and giggles...and recognizing the theoretical possibilities...wouldn't this still necessitate a receiver capable of de-permuting the rsultant new pairs of qubits into the original, classical, pairs of qubits?

Seems optimistic, at best.

Feanor
03-31-2009, 05:30 AM
I'm speechless. :out:

http://www.machinadynamica.com/machina60.htm


World's Greatest Tweak
Machina Dynamica's Teleportation Tweak
Long-Distance Audio & Video System Upgrade

Copyright 2007 ... Geoff Kait, Machina Dynamica

...

This tweak has been around for a while. And like I said recently, no matter how far-fetched a tweak might seem, there will be people who firmly believe that it works ... for example:

http://db.audioasylum.com/cgi/m.mpl?forum=isolation&n=2399&highlight=Teleportation+Tweak+Wellfed

...

Jimmy C
03-31-2009, 01:56 PM
...you spent ANOTHER $60 on the Onix?

I thought this was supposed to be a bargain basement (garage) system :*P

topspeed
03-31-2009, 08:50 PM
Nah, I just sprinkled some magic pixie snot on it and viola! Perfection!

Here's a thought: You could be astonishingly clueless and give these tools your money for a "tweak" or you could spend the same amount and get actual, real-to-the-touch speakers.

Which is better?

I'm amazed people fall for this crapola. Considering the other crapola MachinaDynamica shills (bag of rocks anyone?), I swear the company is run by a pair of drunks that sit on the couch with a can Schlitz wondering "So...what else can we make up that these hi-end morons will believe? Buuuuuurp."