and now for something completely different [Archive] - Audio & Video Forums


View Full Version : and now for something completely different

03-13-2009, 02:36 PM
Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this Japanese fellow knows about the jazz influences in his varied career, Stevie starts to riff in the E dorian mode, and then goes into a difficult jazz solo for about 10 minutes.

When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts "Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord!"

A bit pissed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a steaming improvisation with his band around the B flat major 9th chord and really tears the place apart. The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.

The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a jazz chord, play a jazz chord!"

Well and truly pissed off that this character doesn't seem to
appreciate his playing ability, Stevie says to him from the stage "OK, wise guy. You get up here and do it!"

The little old man eagerly climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the microphone, faces the huge audience and starts to croon in a cracked voice:

"A jazz chord to say I ruv yooo..."

Finch Platte
03-13-2009, 03:58 PM
Heh heh- that's pretty good. As an elder, I'll try to remember that to tell later, but the odds are against it.

Here's mine: A young couple got married. On their honeymoon, they were very anxious about having sex because they were both virgins. Because of their sexual inexperience, they were a bit uncomfortable discussing the subject so they came up with the term "doing the laundry" to use in place of "having sex." This made them both more comfortable with the whole concept.

Well, the first night of their honeymoon was wonderful. They "did the laundry" 5 times that first night. In the middle of the night the new husband woke up, and he was ready to do the laundry again. He gently shook his new wife and asked her, "Can we do the laundry again?" but she was very tired. She told him that she just couldn't do it again just yet. Maybe in the morning.

A few hours later the new wife awoke feeling very guilty. What he had asked for wasn't unreasonable, and she decided she should go ahead and "do the laundry" with him again. She gently shook him and said, "Honey, I'm sorry I denied you... We can do the laundry again if you want,"

He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."

03-13-2009, 07:17 PM
He replied, "That's ok... It was a small load... I did it by hand."

Dude, seriously? I had to read all that to get to that punch line. Can I have that 30 seconds back?