Strange News for Strange Times

[Auricauricle]

I'm starting a thread here that will be used to bring readers' attention to odd and rather bizarre stories read in the newspaper or heard on the radio.

To start, I will share highlights of an article read today in the New York Times, whose hallowed pages told the story, today, of America's fascination with toilet paper. According to the report, Americans--unlike their less fussy cousins in Europe and elsewhere--like their TP soft. All well and good, except for the fact that the manufacture of soft TP involves pulp products obtained from freshly felled timber. This results in a significant production of carbon dioxide production, the major culprit of the Greenhouse Gas situation. Greenpeace (and I think other groups) have voiced their dismay over the situation, and have vowed to do their part to bring Americans' attention to the problem with a planned campaign to highlight the problem....

Holy Rollers, Batman!

In the meantime I, for one, will stock up on the soft-stuff...My butt deserves it!

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/26/science/earth/26charmin.html?_r=1

[Groundbeef]

Damn straight. You don't grow up in the worlds' last superpower to have a soar ass. Look how uptight the Europeans are. It's all related.

[dean_martin]

A professor of English Literature once told me that Dr. Samuel Johnson, for whom the Age of Johnson is named, would have a heart attack if he knew of our insistence on soft toilet paper to wipe our collective ass.

[nightflier]

GB, I would guess that our European neighbors would contend that we're the ones who are uptight about this, and a whole lot of other things too. In addition, I read a while back that Americans only go No.2 twice a week on average, hence supporting the claim that we are, as a nation, pretty tightly wound up. This could explain a whole lot, methinks.

Auric, I suppose the article conveniently omitted any reference to how the release of methane gas also contributes to the greenhouse effect. Given that those snooty Europeans are probably more frequent visitors to the porcelain stool, that should offset this haughty attitude on the matter, I would hope.

[Mr Peabody]

Cowboys walking bow legged wasn't only from riding horses. Tender places need tender care. If I can't have soft paper then next best thing would be a buddei.

[ForeverAutumn]

Ryanair chief defends on-board toilet charge

MADRID (AFP) - The head of Irish budget airline Ryanair Tuesday defended his plan to charge passengers to use on-board toilets, saying it would lead to "less passenger inconvenience" during flights.

Ryanair Chief Executive Michael O'Leary revealed last month the carrier was looking at the possibility of installing toilet doors in its planes which would only open with the insertion of a one pound coin (1.10 euros, 1.40 dollars).

"In our discussions with (aircraft maker) Boeing they haven't yet been able to manufacture a toilet door that will take coins in it," he told a news conference in Madrid Tuesday.

"But I think it's a logical development, if you use the toilet for example in train stations in England you pay to use the toilets. I don't see any reason why people on board an aircraft wouldn't pay to use the toilet."

He said the on-board charge would mean more passengers would use the toilets at airports, and would lead to "less passenger inconvenience on board the aircraft."

"We will charge for every possible thing we can think to charge for, but it will always be the passengers' choice whether they pay it or don't pay it," he said.

O'Leary said the company is now running an online competition to see what else the carrier can charge for on board.

"The suggestion I like best so far is a passenger in Sweden who has suggested that we should produce rolls of toilet paper with my picture on it."

[Auricauricle]

Unbelievable!

Couldn't they be content that passengers will gladly leave a pound once they are seated?

[ForeverAutumn]

Unbelievable!

Couldn't they be content that passengers will gladly leave a pound once they are seated?

I'm thinking that people will find a new use for those little white barf bags.

[Mr Peabody]

They'd make a fortune on flights back from Mexico, you know, don't drink the water :)

I was flying from Little Rock to St. Louis some years ago and was at the airport early. I was with another guy who was taking a different flight so we decided to sit in the bar for a while and have a beer. It was only a 45 minute flight, supposedly. So I had another on the plane. Beer tends to make me need the facility frequently. We got over St. Louis, the seat belt sign was on, I already have to go but instead of landing the plane begins to circle, and circle, he's beginning to be in pain, and circle. Needless to say when the door to the plane opened I was out and hastily looking for the facility. Sorry, something about this thread just made me think of that and I'm in a sharing mood.

I think a big money maker would be renting flotation devices. Or, how about this one, shut off the ventilation and charge to use the oxygen mask. Don't forget your roll of quarters or learn to hold your breath for long periods of time.

Oh, here you go, put free hookers on the plane. What a sales thrust that would cause but the money maker is charging for the privacy. You could even raise ticket prices a bit.

[Luvin Da Blues]

..... put free hookers on the plane.....

Does not compute, memory overload...memory overload...memory overload...


Won't that just make her a slut???

[Mr Peabody]

NO, she'd get paid by the airline, just free to the customer. Then she could have benefits too. Like health insurance and 401k, win win, right?

[Luvin Da Blues]

NO, she'd get paid by the airline, just free to the customer. Then she could have benefits too. Like health insurance and 401k, win win, right?

Well then, if you put it that way. Sign me up. :thumbsup: I've always figured that the day I have to pay for "it" is the day I quit.

[Rich-n-Texas]

...Oh, here you go, put free hookers on the plane. What a sales thrust that would cause but the money maker is charging for the privacy. You could even raise ticket prices a bit.
I got those little plays on words there buddy. :yesnod:

[audio amateur]

In addition, I read a while back that Americans only go No.2 twice a week on average, hence supporting the claim that we are, as a nation, pretty tightly wound up. This could explain a whole lot, methinks.
TWICE a week?? huh, I go twice a day:lol:
Oh, and I'm not too fussy about the paper, as long as there's enough and it ain't like paper :ciappa:

[Rich-n-Texas]

Twice a week on average? Not a chance, especially not when on a high fiber diet. Being "regular" means at least once-a-day IMO.

[audio amateur]

Twice a week on average? Not a chance, especially not when on a high fiber diet. Being "regular" means at least once-a-day IMO.
Depends on your metabolism, some people's 'regular' is twice a week, other's is twice a day (like me :D) but I do highly doubt the American average is twice a week, more like once every couple days I would think.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Man I'd have soooo much extra time for music listening if I was a "twice a week" regular. :sad:

[Luvin Da Blues]

:( Now how did we get here from there??

[audio amateur]

It's what happens when you have toilet minded people :)

[Rich-n-Texas]

Flyboy started it. Typical potty mouth. :rolleyes:

[GMichael]

Man I'd have soooo much extra time for music listening if I was a "twice a week" regular. :sad:

You haven't put speakers in there yet? That external amp you have freed up several amps/channels in the receiver that you could use in additional rooms.

[nightflier]

Flyboy started it. Typical potty mouth. :rolleyes:

Speaking of going #2, in the "underdevelopped world" people go after every meal (if they have a decent diet). Apparently, proctologists and doctors who specialize in this "field" say that after every meal is probably the healthiest. Don't ask me how I know this stuff - probably from reading Reader's Digest for 20 years...

"A million to one, doc, a million to one!"

[Auricauricle]

Readers Digest!

Alimentary, my dear Watson!

[Mr Peabody]

Man I'd have soooo much extra time for music listening if I was a "twice a week" regular. :sad:

Well damn Rich, how much time do you spend on the throne? To be that much of a burden things must move really slow or you have a revolving door up. Either way, maybe look into a good pair of wireless headphones.

NF, some food takes days to get through your system, especially beef, if some one went right after eating they must have a medical problem. Either that or be solidly packed from stem to stern so that the new pushes out the oldest.

By the way what's a good anti-virus? I was using Norton but it expired. I am trying a 30 day trial of Bitdefender and my system runs a bit faster with the Norton gone.

[audio amateur]

AVG is free, and it has worked fine so far.

[ForeverAutumn]

AVG is free, and it has worked fine so far.

We use AVG at work. I bought Norton for my desktop at home, but I'm going to return it and just download AVG. It seems to work well. I even received a virus warning yesterday from a pop-up.

[Luvin Da Blues]

I used to use the free AVG but as an IT friend of mine said, you won't get the same level of protection from "freeware" that you would from a full blown program.

I happily pay for the service (NAV) and have relative peace of mind now.

[Rich-n-Texas]

I am happy that Mr. P steered this thread back into a more comfortable direction.

[ForeverAutumn]

I am happy that Mr. P steered this thread back into a more comfortable direction.

Yes, of course. Because you've never derailed a thread.

:aureola: <----Rich

[GMichael]

Yes, of course. Because you've never derailed a thread.

:aureola: <----Rich

Why does his plug dangle down like that?:sosp:

[Auricauricle]

...power cord!!

[Rich-n-Texas]

Yes, of course. Because you've never derailed a thread.

:aureola: <----Rich
And I've never paged other members on a discussion forum either. Bad form. :p

[GMichael]

...power cord!!

Lack of power, power cord?

[Rich-n-Texas]

I had to look at that smiley a few times before I realized that was a halo with a power cord attached to it. :idea:

[Auricauricle]

I didn't even see the fool thing!

[Mr Peabody]

Plug me in and turn me on!

[nightflier]

NF, some food takes days to get through your system, especially beef, if some one went right after eating they must have a medical problem. Either that or be solidly packed from stem to stern so that the new pushes out the oldest.

That's actually true. Most Westerners are backed up just like you describe because they eat too much meat (esp. us meat & potatoes Americans). Of course, we have plenty of opportunity to eat less meat, something that we should probably not take for granted. That is in sharp contrast to how it is for people in the less developed world: their diets are mostly fruits, vegetables, and hopefully not too much starch (which is what typically is given in camps and shelters, unfortunately). Even if we ignore the obvious moral-ethical questions, the question we should still ask ourselves as Westerners is whether being so "backed-up" is even natural for our physiology?


By the way what's a good anti-virus? I was using Norton but it expired. I am trying a 30 day trial of Bitdefender and my system runs a bit faster with the Norton gone.

Contrary to popular belief, virus software companies (and open source organizations) all get their virus info from pretty much the same source. Think of it as credit reporting for the virus world. What differs is how these companies use that info to build their security apps around. Norton has always struggled with a bloated software model which typically involves a lot of Apple-style GUI-candy. McAfee used to be more svelte and ugly, but is now also now living large. The most recent NKOTB is Nod Antivirus, and they do have a different, albeit not necessarily innovative approach. ClamAV and AVG are the freeware alternatives and do run lighter in RAM at the expense of some sexyness and advanced features.

What few companies want the public to think too much about is that spyware/malware, script attacks, and just about every other threat is pretty much still a virus by definition. Instead, they want the public to think of each of these threats as entirely separate concerns requiring separate and unique applications. They can sell more bloat that way and that's how we get "different tiers" of protection from such luminary companies as Norton/Symantec, which increase the "subscription" fees accordingly.

Another big secret is how every one of these companies won't block much of the spy/malware threats because of the fear of being sued. This is because the companies who generate revenue from collecting and aggregating data from every web browsing computer, claim that what they do is legit and legal, when in reality it is all a pretty shady business. To witness, virus writers and crackers piggyback on these very same technologies to do their dirty work specifically because it is such a murky mess. A few years ago there was considerable outrage because according to the DMCA, any such technology was considered illegal - it pretty much made everything from web scripts to root-kits a crime of terrorism and had companies like Sony all in a tizzy. Of course, the virus companies, the Sonys, and the data collector/aggregators got their lobbyists to change the laws so that it just didn't apply to them - you can thank your local congressman for letting that stinking turd of legalese though.

Anyhow, short of running a different OS (not really an option for most), the best way to protect yourself against threats without getting rammed by the software companies is to use open source software. Open source is generally more in tune with these issues, cares more to address them, and won't hesitate to openly discuss them. Since they also get their virus info from the same source, there's really no technical reason to pay for software that really should be free. The virus companies have so betrayed the public trust that they don't deserve your hard-earned money to provide what essentially is more lax protection than you'd find elsewhere.

[Mr Peabody]

I know the trial version of protection I'm using now is much more aggressive and found junk on my computer that Norton let remain.

So you are saying AVG would be as good as the programs we'd have to buy?

[audio amateur]

I know the trial version of protection I'm using now is much more aggressive and found junk on my computer that Norton let remain.

So you are saying AVG would be as good as the programs we'd have to buy?
AVG free incorporates the main functions of the non-free AVG, which includes extras such as spyware management etc..
Just check out their web-site.

[nightflier]

And there are other programs you can use for spyware management - not that you should have to have an additional application, but that's the way it is now.

[Auricauricle]

That's actually true. Most Westerners are backed up just like you describe because they eat too much meat (esp. us meat & potatoes Americans). Of course, we have plenty of opportunity to eat less meat, something that we should probably not take for granted. That is in sharp contrast to how it is for people in the less developed world: their diets are mostly fruits, vegetables, and hopefully not too much starch (which is what typically is given in camps and shelters, unfortunately). Even if we ignore the obvious moral-ethical questions, the question we should still ask ourselves as Westerners is whether being so "backed-up" is even natural for our physiology?

Well, Nightie, that's true, but that's not the whole story either....

True enough, consumption of more roughage and fibre, which are provided by a diet that is rich in vegetarian and grain-related sources, is certainly appropriate for ensuring regular and successful passage, but there are a couple of other things that I need to mention.

First is hydration. Drinking around 8-10 glasses of water a day is an important and vital part of nutrition. Vegetable and fruit sources do their share of providing some of this resource, but getting in your 8 to 10 should be a part of everyone's routine. This does not include tea, coffee or cola drinks that are high in caffeine which is, in fact, dehydrating. Gatorade and other sports drinks are good, but in excess they pack restorative electrolytes that can be "too much of a good thing" and throw your balance off. Same with water. Drink enough to rehydrate. Even too much water can be dangerous, believe it or not.

Second is activity. Sitting at this desk, writing y'all and sharing my wisdom is great, but not in my best interest. If you want to keep your colon moving and your sphincter working on time, every time, you have to pound the pavement now and then. Whether it's a walk around the block or office or running your butt off, regular exercise is an integral part of healthy living that has great cardiovascular health as well as salubrious benefit to the passage of wastes, including sweat, urine and steamers.

Thrid: medications. Some meds are constipating. In particular are stimulant meds, like Adderall, which cause dry mouth and other such, unpleasant, effects. Drink your water and suck a lifesaver. If you take meds, ask your doctor about them. Eat your greens and fibre in and walk about.

Healthy and regular passage of stools consists of good diet, water intake and regular exercise. There are meds that can clog things up while some of them will loosen the stuff up. If you take anything medication-wise, ask your doctor if they have any such an effect.

Caveat 1: If you have difficulty despite taking these precautions, see your doctor or nurse practitioner. Some medical conditions, even rare, serious ones can cause problems of this sort.

Caveat 2: Some meds and foods will change the color or consistency of your stool. A black stool may be indicative of ingestion of a pigment that caused such a color change or it could signal internal bleeding. Red tinged stools may indicate eating too many pimientos or hemmorhoids. If you have such experiences, again, seek advice from your primary care provider.

Okay, back to the discussion at hand....

[Mr Peabody]

What if it's florescent green???

[Auricauricle]

Then you've been doin' more things with a highlighter than I'm allowed to talk about.

[audio amateur]

:lol:

[nightflier]

Looks like someone's been reading What's Your Poo Telling You?

http://www.amazon.com/Whats-Your-Poo-Telling-You/dp/0811857824/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238612822&sr=8-1

Please don't tell us you've been keeping a Poo Log, though.

http://www.amazon.com/Poo-Log-Peter-Arkle/dp/0811863395/ref=pd_bbs_8?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1238612822&sr=8-8

[Rich-n-Texas]

Good Lord!!! Man, I am REALLY uncomfortable with the current subject matter in this thread. I don't even remember the title of it! :yikes:

[Auricauricle]

I liked The Tao of Pooh.

[Mr Peabody]

The thread meets the "Strange" part. Anyone rememer the Christmas Poo?

Auric, what do you make of this one? Today my poo was in the form of the alphabet and spelled words as it whirled toward it's journey to the end of the sewer. Ever long for the days when they were just logs?

[Rich-n-Texas]

How do I put this entire thread on my "Ignore" list???

BLAHH!!!

[Mr Peabody]

Rich, you don't know poo. Get the book.

To answer your question, just unsubscribe to the thread.

[ForeverAutumn]

The thread meets the "Strange" part. Anyone rememer the Christmas Poo?

MR. HANKEY! (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mr._Hankey,_the_Christmas_Poo)

I'm sure that JSE knows all about it.