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Finch Platte
12-19-2008, 10:07 AM
Yes.

One.

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Joy to the world while you're decking all the halls
Ya better watch out or we'll kick you in the balls
Here we come a-wassailing Feliz Navidad
Grandma got run over by a reindeer fa-la-la

Crush your balls with a sleigh
Jingle bells in your face

(Chorus)
Jingle bell jingle bell jingle bell metal
Focking sh!t up with a double bass pedal
Ring-a-ling hear them ring, jolly and brutal
escape from this very merry medley is futile

Dashing through the snow in a wintry wonderland
The little drummer boy never really had a band
Come all ye faithful in a manger heard on high
Do you hear what I hear, silver bells, rum-pum-pum

Maybe two.

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Santa didn't keep his promise, so he's getting his cookies and milk NO MORE

All I wanted to get for Christmas was a Boba Fett
Still in original packaging, but Santa has abandoned me

And I wanted me a new guitar
with EMGs and a whammy bar

I don't know why thats so much to ask
I was good this year, but now I'm beatin some ass because

(Chorus)
Santa's a b@stard 'cuz he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas
Santa's an @sshole 'cuz he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist
Santa's all shady 'cuz he won't deliver on the things that he promised
Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist

LIES.

All I wanted to get for Christmas was a private jet
with a stewardess named Angelina Jolie
but Santa has forsaken me

And I wanted just like every year
a new liver and a truck of beer

I've been so nice and real patient too
but Kris Kringle's got a lot of explaining to do because

(Chorus)

Santa brought a lot of socks


You're welcome.

fp

Auricauricle
12-19-2008, 11:01 AM
Well....Actually we're putting together a few carols at the Center. Thought they should be relevant to diagnosis, being the sensitive and compassionate people that we are (ahem). Here're the titles:

Christmas Carols as done by the "Mentally Challenged" (revised 2008)

Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?

ADHD --- It's The Most Wonderful Time of --- hey look, an early-Easter sale!

Autism --- Silent. Night.

Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

Anorexia Nervosa – All I Want For Christmas is My Teeth Enamel Back

Amnesia --- I Wouldn't Know if I Were Home for Christmas

Kleptomania – On The Fifth Day of Christmas I stole these things for me: FIVE GOL-DEN RINGS!!!!!

Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

Antisocial Personality – Come They Told Me, Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum. I said no way, Pa-rum-pa-pum-pum.

Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and ...

Tourette Syndrome – It's beginning to look a lot like —$#@#$@$$#!!!!!!!!!!!!— Christmas…

Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming To Town To Get Me

Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

Full Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder ---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...

Agoraphobia --- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House

Senile Dementia --- Walking in a Winter Wonderland Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder --- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House

MindGoneHaywire
12-19-2008, 11:26 AM
http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=10:kzfpxqwgldae

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/cov200/drd600/d661/d66175y05xe.jpg

Rich-n-Texas
12-19-2008, 11:48 AM
That was freakin' hilarious Aa. I could fit a personality here to every one of those... disorders. :lol:

(Disclaimer: In no way do I support or condone criticism of the psychologically unstable)

Auricauricle
12-19-2008, 01:56 PM
Glad you enjoyed it, Rich!

How're those wings you ate earlier handlin' ya? Burn a hole in yer shorts, yet?

Stone
12-19-2008, 02:12 PM
The Yobs - "C-H-R-I-S-T-M-A-S"

Auricauricle
12-19-2008, 03:46 PM
"Yob." Wow....

Reminds me of an old favorite o'mine: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7sIbx6hrF7o