Twas a Night in December... [Archive] - Audio & Video Forums


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12-04-2008, 01:12 PM
‘Twas a night in December, much like the rest
The amplifier was howling, as I decided to test
The transformers’ capacity to drive and to strain
For that is the duty that befalls an audiophile’s brain.

So I took out my discs, of the Beethoven and Bach
And classics like Pink Floyd and Burt Bacharach
I then found my perch, where I remained ensconced
And settled there with my whisky, oblivious and entranced.

When all of a sudden, there was much hue and cry
I looked toward the porch, and there my wife did descry
“What’s all this noise,” she shrieked, with temples a’throbbing
“’Tis some album,” I murmured as the whisky burned through my noggin.

As I closed my eyes again, I replayed a track
--Memory fades whether it was Berlioz or Offenbach—
In any case, in no time at all, the speakers did wail
And my lady, ever obliging, slipped beside me with a stein of wassail.

Now capacitors, don't fry
Now transistors, don't fail me!
On, resistors, don’t you dare singe!
On, on, on to two hundred and three!
To the topmost limit!
Come on, give it some more!
I know that you’ve got the juice!
Come on, there’s much, much more in store!

When all of a sudden there was a sputter and hiss,
Oh, chit! I exclaimed, jumping up in a huff and p___d,
“What was that,” cried my lady with alarm in her eye
“”Tis the tweeters! They’re saying, ‘Enough is enough!”” I yelled with a cry.

And then, in a moment, the room was quiet as the tomb
The only sound heard now was my heart pounding like a kettle drum in the room
I groaned inside and aloud as I watched as the smoke to the ceiling did rise
And so my wife and I sat amazed and aghast as tears filled our eyes.

The domes—how they hummed! How they joyfully sang!
The woofers and midranges, how those behemoths rang!
Those fuses, so magical and lively, were now blown to bits!
I thought that without any tunes, I’d soon lose my wits!
But then came a sound, as if from a place unseen and hidden
It was the trees around the house that spoke now, unbidden
As we listened with our ears and hearts open
We heard for the first time, the song of the wood—much better than Copeland!
And as the glorious sound enveloped our home
We realized then, nature’s own music in wood, brook and stone!

With this wish, I wish you all well and good health
Good tidings to all, now and forever to your family great wealth
Just remember, you audiophiles, who fall seduced by high fidelity's decadent sin:
There may be trouble if you push your boxes to five thousand and ten!


12-04-2008, 01:19 PM
Hmmm... I think our psych nurse needs his head examined. :smilewinkgrin:

audio amateur
12-04-2008, 02:50 PM
‘Twas a night in December, much like the rest
The amplifier was howling, as I decided to test
The transformers’ capacity to drive and to strain
For that is the duty that befalls an audiophile’s brain.


No doubt you need your head examined though :smilewinkgrin:
(On a side note, I do hope this is mostly fiction)

12-04-2008, 08:43 PM
While shepherds washed their socks by night, all seated round the tub,
A bar of Sunlight soap came down, and they began to scrub.



12-05-2008, 12:47 AM
Without a doubt, the odds-on favorite for this years Poet Laureate!

Happy Holidays to all the nuthouse nurses of the planet and their patron saint shown below.

RR6 :thumbsup:

12-05-2008, 06:30 AM
Ah, Roady, ya know how to soften mah heart!


12-05-2008, 06:40 AM
Meh... Is that all you got to say? :rolleyes:

12-12-2008, 08:09 AM
Sumpin' wrong with that, Tex?

12-12-2008, 09:24 AM
A few points.

1st) Very nice job. I found it to be full of fun and intelligent quips.:)
2nd) Somebody must have a little too much time on their hands.:incazzato:
3rd) If a van pulls up and several guys with white trench coats step out, don't run. They are there to help you get better. Go with them.:thumbsup:
4th) Say hi to all my old friends when you get there.:ihih:

12-12-2008, 10:54 AM
I spread da woid, Pops....Dey tell me dey have med alterations fer yer jacket an' wanna youse t'come over fer a fittin'....

Too much time on me hands? Now whay would you say a foll thing like that, I wunner?

12-12-2008, 11:22 AM
New meds?


12-12-2008, 12:02 PM
Sumpin' wrong with that, Tex?
That post is a week old and I no longer recall its purpose. K?

12-12-2008, 12:18 PM
"He say's he's a 'poet' but he sure doesn't show it."

Cute man... pretty good iffin I says so myself.

Da Worfster

12-12-2008, 12:25 PM
Give da man dime fo makin dat ryme.