Very Bad Joke [Archive] - Audio & Video Forums

Worf101

10-15-2008, 04:32 AM

Trying hard not to post it... but

cannot.....

stop.......

myself!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks and there are only 3 survivors; Bob, Tom and Debbie.
They manage to swim to a small island and live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do. After several years of casual sex all the time, Debbie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing. She felt having sex with both Bob and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself. It was tragic, but Bob and Tom managed to get through it.

After a while, Bob and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened. A couple more years went by and Bob and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing........

.................................... So they buried Debbie.

Sorry if you've heard this one before....

Da Worfster

bobsticks

10-15-2008, 04:49 AM

Y'know if you look at how the post is laid out on the monitor, the words "Tom" and "cruise" are awfully close together...so naturally I assumed there was gonna be some same-sex Carnal Island lovin'.

To make matters worse the first "Bob" I mentally referenced was Barker so I had the son of Scientology smakin' some Price Is Right fanny...with Debbie Allen watching...

You're welcome.

http://newsbusters.org/static/2007/06/2007-06-26TomCruise.jpg + http://timthorn.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/bob_barker_retires-768476.jpg = http://www.dancehelp.com/photos/debbie%20allen.jpg

Rich-n-Texas

10-15-2008, 04:49 AM

That was just nasty.

Club, I feel Worf should be punished for this.

ForeverAutumn

10-15-2008, 05:26 AM

Well, he did warn you.

GMichael

10-15-2008, 05:46 AM

How deep did they burry her?

bobsticks

10-15-2008, 10:50 AM

Why is recidivism so low in the Philipines?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMnk7lh9M3o&eurl=http://www.poundsine.com/blog/

Auricauricle

10-15-2008, 11:31 AM

That

was

great!!

kexodusc

10-15-2008, 12:25 PM

I don't get it...

nightflier

10-15-2008, 01:50 PM

You're a former Michael Jackson groupie! Kind of fits with the whole make-up thing, too. Still got that studded red leather jacket stashed in the closet for those lonely Saturday nights?
:ciappa:

Just kidding.

Why is recidivism so low in the Philipines?

Hey if you're going to be doing life in a South-East Asian prison, who gives a flying you know what? I guess there are worse things one could be doing there.
:shocked:

Worf, that was sick, but I have to say, I didn't see it coming. I was also thinking there was something about those names, but I never put any faces to them before it was over.

Anyhow, isn't there a rumor that Cruise is bi-sexual anyhow?

...Not that there's anything wrong with that!

RoadRunner6

10-15-2008, 02:40 PM

Worf, that was one sick and really disgusting joke! (I copied/pasted and sent it to all my friends and co-workers)

RR6 :hand:

JSE

10-15-2008, 03:05 PM

Freaking Funny! I am also forwarding this one to some friends.

Auricauricle

10-15-2008, 03:08 PM

...Then Bob said, "Mmm...Offal!..."

bobsticks

10-15-2008, 04:25 PM

You're a former Michael Jackson groupie! Kind of fits with the whole make-up thing, too. Still got that studded red leather jacket stashed in the closet for those lonely Saturday nights?
:ciappa:

Whatdoya mean former?? I got me one spangled glove...BUT, there is absoluely no red leather in the closet...

...it's black latex with strategically placed PVC piping and chainmail.

Worf101

10-16-2008, 04:36 AM

Well if you want to know ONE big reason why I like this place and MOST of its denizens so much. I posted the same joke over in the "Off Topic" board at Ubiforums. The thread there quickly became filled with plenty of LCD (lowest common denominator) jokes some of which were SO bad that the thread was pulled. The mod was/is a decent fellow so he sent me a PM explaining the why's and wherefores. You guys and gals are funny BUT respectful and I truly feel qute close to you all... close as in close enough to swing my Bhatleff... but I digress.

Da Worfster

ForeverAutumn

10-16-2008, 05:00 AM

...it's black latex with strategically placed PVC piping and chainmail.

That's more disturbing than the original joke.

Rich-n-Texas

10-16-2008, 05:39 AM

I still say Captain Klingfree should be punished. Like, drill a hole in his skull and pour pickle juice in it... or something. :rolleyes:

RoadRunner6

10-16-2008, 05:57 AM

I still say Captain Klingfree should be punished. Like, drill a hole in his skull and pour pickle juice in it... or something. :rolleyes:

A jar of pickle juice is a terrible thing to waste!

RR6 :frown5:

Worf101

10-16-2008, 08:16 AM

I still say Captain Klingfree should be punished. Like, drill a hole in his skull and pour pickle juice in it... or something. :rolleyes:
Keep talkin' that "yang chit" and I'll beat you wit my pickle. Ain't you got some cattle to rustle or rape?

Da Worfster

GMichael

10-16-2008, 08:19 AM

Keep talkin' that "yang chit" and I'll beat you wit my pickle. Ain't you got some cattle to rustle or rape?

Da Worfster

(Mike steps in and sees Worf beating Rich to death with his pickle)

Oops, wrong room.

(Slips back out the door)

Auricauricle

10-16-2008, 08:24 AM

...it's black latex with strategically placed PVC piping and chainmail.

Erm...I didn't take ya for a Fredericks of Hollywood Man, 'Sticks....That's just too much detail for my head.

(You know where I get a mid-sized, red 14th century cassock?)

ForeverAutumn

10-16-2008, 08:59 AM

...it's black latex with strategically placed PVC piping and chainmail.

You know, I'm thinking that it really doesn't matter what kind of car you drive. :nonod:

ForeverAutumn

10-16-2008, 08:59 AM

I'll beat you wit my pickle.
Da Worfster

And it doesn't matter what kind of car you drive either. :ihih:

GMichael

10-16-2008, 09:56 AM

And it doesn't matter what kind of car you drive either. :ihih:

Ya gotta luv a girl who know what she likes and goes for it.:shocked:

ForeverAutumn

10-16-2008, 10:20 AM

(Mike steps in and sees Worf beating Rich to death with his pickle)

Oops, wrong room.

(Slips back out the door)

Hmmmmm. Perhaps a better choice of words... :skep:

GMichael

10-16-2008, 10:48 AM

Hmmmmm. Perhaps a better choice of words... :skep:

Slips out the back door?
:7:

Badumpbump
tssshhhh.............

Auricauricle

10-16-2008, 10:57 AM

?!?!?

Rich-n-Texas

10-16-2008, 11:00 AM

WHAT? Who said back door? Who's back door? :idea:

ForeverAutumn

10-16-2008, 11:51 AM

Slips out the back door?
:7:

Badumpbump
tssshhhh.............

Oh crap! I realize now that's not what you said, but that's how I read it. My bad. :blush2:

GMichael

10-16-2008, 11:58 AM

Oh crap! I realize now that's not what you said, but that's how I read it. My bad. :blush2:

No big deal. If I were you, I'd expect me to say that too?

(was that right?)

The blush looks good on you.:ihih:

JSE

10-16-2008, 12:26 PM

Oh crap! I realize now that's not what you said, but that's how I read it. My bad. :blush2:

Leave it to the Women to take this thread into the gutter. Jeeez! :p

Auricauricle

10-16-2008, 12:33 PM

(Goes to screen door and locks it. Hold shotgun up, finger on the trigger) You crazy varmits! Yer gettin' me nervous! An' I don't like gettin' nervous!!

GMichael

10-16-2008, 12:55 PM

I don't think that anyone was looking to slip their pickle into your back door if that's what you are worried about.

nightflier

10-16-2008, 02:34 PM

WHAT? Who said back door? Who's back door? :idea:

Somebody did mention you and raping cattle, in the same sentence. That and the whole imagery of the strategically placed PVC piping on a clown make-up wearing white gloved fella, and I forgot all about that offensive joke.

Why does this always have to happen when I'm eating my lunch? ...And another $6 burger I'm not going to finish.

:mad5:

bobsticks

10-16-2008, 02:37 PM

That's more disturbing than the original joke.

You know, I'm thinking that it really doesn't matter what kind of car you drive.

You say those things when I'm not around...but yer still thinkin' thinkin'...

...and then you start subreferencing backdoors?

I'm not accusin', I'm just sayin'.

bobsticks

10-16-2008, 02:50 PM

Erm...I didn't take ya for a Fredericks of Hollywood Man, 'Sticks....That's just too much detail for my head.

(You know where I get a mid-sized, red 14th century cassock?)

Nah, far too tame...mebbe Alice in Rubberland.

...and, yeah, I think Vanessa Redgrave might have one left from the set of "The Devils".

Rich-n-Texas

10-16-2008, 04:00 PM

Geez I missed a lotta fun here. FA won the *Funniest chick* award on this page in my opinion. :yesnod:

(Note to self: Self, she's the only chick here dumbass...)

nightflier

10-17-2008, 11:32 AM

Auricauricle

10-17-2008, 11:49 AM

Ummm...

I didn't realise that this wasn't a joke.

Inspired by H.R. Giger?

GMichael

10-17-2008, 12:01 PM

You shouldn't have not known that it wasn't an un-joke.

Auricauricle

10-17-2008, 12:38 PM

Okay....

You mean, I should have known that was a joke.

Right?

O--
kay....

Peas and carrots to you!

Rich-n-Texas

10-17-2008, 03:20 PM

I think Aa has a food fetish. :yesnod:

bobsticks

10-17-2008, 05:54 PM

'Checked out that Alice in Rubberland site. A tad on the weird side, wouldn't you say? I mean I can get my head around the PVC fetish stuff, but the metamorphosis into alien insects? That's more of a turn off, and a little too artsy-fartsy-existentialist - it just doesn't seem to jive with the speed-metal anarchist we typically hear from. Maybe Tex should drive up with some of his Hooters "friends" and check up on ya?

I knew someone wouldn't be able to resist the call of Google.

You did make the call though. That kinda stuff ain't really my bag, it was the only thing I could find that was relatively PG-13. You can leave aliens out too but, c'mon, who among us can't admit to a lil' secret thang for the green hottie on the old Star Trek reruns? For years it was the only show I watched all the way through to the credits.

Auricauricle

10-18-2008, 12:47 PM

You think we're gonna keep watching these re-runs for crummy ol' dilithium crystals and photon torpedoes.....??

nightflier

10-20-2008, 01:16 PM

You can leave aliens out too but, c'mon, who among us can't admit to a lil' secret thang for the green hottie on the old Star Trek reruns? For years it was the only show I watched all the way through to the credits.

I prefer my fantasy aliens to look a little more traditional:

http://gallery.audioreview.com/data/audio//500/MV5BMTg2Nzk5MjEwMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzUwNTE2MQ_V1_ SX300_SY399_.jpg

GMichael

10-20-2008, 01:29 PM

I prefer Grace.

Rich-n-Texas

10-20-2008, 01:32 PM

:eek6: :mad2: :mad2: :cryin: :incazzato: :sad:

GMichael

10-20-2008, 01:38 PM

Not bad for a toaster huh?

nightflier

10-20-2008, 03:25 PM

Not bad for a toaster huh?

...she's much more of a whiner, for a toaster, at least. Although I haven't seen this season, yet (waiting for the DVD), so I don't know if she grows a pair and pulls another disgruntled mailman in the control room.

Wicked finale last season, though. That should have been something for Sticks, but he's only interested in green women....

Auricauricle

10-20-2008, 03:45 PM

Abadabarabanagadaeunefjoafjafjalkfjdslfkhsjdflbfvh fv................

bobsticks

10-20-2008, 05:21 PM

Wicked finale last season, though. That should have been something for Sticks, but he's only interested in green women....

I'm not "only" interested in the green ones...I just keep my options open.

Grace, for instance, is highly competitive in the M.M. rankings.

GMichael

10-21-2008, 05:18 AM

...she's much more of a whiner, for a toaster, at least. Although I haven't seen this season, yet (waiting for the DVD), so I don't know if she grows a pair and pulls another disgruntled mailman in the control room.

Wicked finale last season, though. That should have been something for Sticks, but he's only interested in green women....

I could put up with her whining for as long as she can put up with my moaning. I'd still like to see Grace and Summer (the T-bot) wrestle a bit. Maybe with a little Jell-O thrown in.

nightflier

10-21-2008, 04:07 PM

I could put up with her whining for as long as she can put up with my moaning. I'd still like to see Grace and Summer (the T-bot) wrestle a bit. Maybe with a little Jell-O thrown in.

...wouldn't this ultimately result in a draw or tie?

But yes, it would take a while and that, I suppose, is entertainment.

GMichael

10-22-2008, 05:17 AM

...wouldn't this ultimately result in a draw or tie?

But yes, it would take a while and that, I suppose, is entertainment.

I think it's worth looking into.

GMichael

10-23-2008, 09:44 AM

A cabbie picks up a Nun.

She gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: 'I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you.'

She answers, 'My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.'

'Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.'

She responds, 'Well, let's see what we can do about that:

#1, you have to be single and

#2, you must be Catholic.'

The cab driver is very excited and says,

'Yes, I'm single and Catholic!'

'OK' the nun says. 'Pull into the next alley.'

The nun fulfills his fantasy, with a kiss that would make a hooker blush.

But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

'My dear child,' says the nun, 'why are you crying?'

'Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish.'

The nun says,'That's OK.

My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.'