A Freak Show that would've made Barnum smile!!!

[Worf101]

I was wandering through mall land the other day looking for a copy of "The Prince" my Machiavelli for my son's AP HIgh School History class. During my travels I discovered that the local Borders Books had decided it had had enough of getting it's brains beaten out by Barnes and Nobles and was closing. Being the anarchist I am I rejoiced at the downfall of another retail chain giant. But of course this didn't stop me from going in to "pick at the bones" of the carcass. The sale had been on for almost two weeks so all the good stuff was long gone BUT of course they had "The Prince", (who here read's classics any friiggen how).

What was amazing though was not the pathetic collection of un purchased literature parked next to the completely empty aisle of "Star Wars" books, but the unparalelled plethora of human detritus on display in the aisles. Never in my life (and I've been around a bit) have I seen so many, fat, pasty, overweight, mouth breathing, mon's basment living, Twinkie gobbling, biological experiments gone awry. Dear God and Sonny Jeezus what a collection of booger eatin', nose picking, foul smelling, lice ridden nerd flesh. Most looked like refugees for a Jenny Craig meeting and smelled like a LoveCraftian nightmare. None appeared to have seen sunlight since conception.

Personal hygene was/is a theory to these folks, the only thing worse than their smell was the chortling, pig like grunts that emitted from then when they discovered one more morsel of meat on the bones left by one of their nearsighted brethren. I wasn't in there two minutes before I'd been sneezed on about 10 times. It was a hellish spectacle straight out of one of Rod Serling's tobacco induced nightmares. .....

How is this movie related... well, while Ian was off looking for his text books, I discovered a Jewel squrrelled away in a stack of books on 18th Century English Poets. Obviously the item was stashed there by some drooling dork in hopes that it would be overlooked until his return, fat chance. So I'm proud to annouce that I am now the proud possessor of a "Hammer Films" Dracual 4 Pack:

Draculas: 4 Film Favorites - Horror of Dracula / Dracula Has Risen from the Grave / Taste the Blood of Dracula / Dracula A.D. 1972 (2DVD)

These four "classics" now grace my coffee table. If Hammer Films knew the horrors (the horrors) I faced in collecting these films they'd sign me for the movie rights tomorrow. Reviews to follow.

Da Worfster

[Rich-n-Texas]

At first I didn't know what "human detritus" meant, but you certainly made it clear by the end of the paragraph Worf. :lol:

[ForeverAutumn]

You're a brave man Worf. That kind of scene would have had me running for the hills (or the nearest Barnes and Noble). I like my shopping experiences to be civilized.

[Auricauricle]

Sorta reminds me of the comments my wife and I make to each other on the (rare) trip to Walmart: "We're not Walmart People!"

(Ahem!)

[bobsticks]

Hey Worf, next week could you go into...I don't know, mebbe a Big Lots or a Long John Silver's...and write about it. I need the self-affirmation.

Have fun with the flicks.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Hey Worf, next week could you go into...I don't know, mebbe a Big Lots or a Long John Silver's...and write about it. I need the self-affirmation.

Have fun with the flicks.
:eek6:

(Rich walks back to his car, gets in and drives away.) :o

[Auricauricle]

Notice 'Sticks' need for affirmation in the Big and Long department, anybody?:D

[Smokey]

Guys, guys, guys. I don’t think it is funny making fun of people shopping in Walmart or BigLots. Some of those shoppers are low income people or senior citizens that can't afford more classier shopping stores.

Like couple of weeks ago I was at Biglots looking over some DVDs and notice this old lady with a humped back that could hardly walk pushing a cart half full of can goods and soup pondering over price of food items.

It literally brought tears to my eyes watching this old lady thinking why there are no family members helping her out, and probably can't afford fresh vegetable or meat. It must be hell living on fix or low income with prices on everything keep going up.

Sorry guys for being a wet blanket http://support.jodohost.com/images/smilies/rain.gif

[Worf101]

I thought you folks would "get it"... I exhibit some of the same characteristics of the "other" players of that feeding frenzy (cept maybe the pasty part). Hell my screename is Worf fer chrissakes a Star Trek character. I was laughing at myself as much as them...

Move over New Yorker... any joke you gotta explain ain't funny.

Da Worfster

[emaidel]

I too am a great fan of Hammer horror classics, being old enough to have seen most of them in the theatre upon their initial release. To this day, my all-time favorite Dracula movie is the 1958 Hammer production, "Horror of Dracula." I must have seen it at least 150 times by now, and never tire of it. I still remember how I clutched my stomach at at least one scene when I first saw the movie back in '58. I don't think anything has surpassed it since.

[ForeverAutumn]

I thought you folks would "get it"... I exhibit some of the same characteristics of the "other" players of that feeding frenzy (cept maybe the pasty part). Hell my screename is Worf fer chrissakes a Star Trek character. I was laughing at myself as much as them...

Move over New Yorker... any joke you gotta explain ain't funny.

Da Worfster

I thought your thread was hilarious, but didn't see the irony that you were trying to get to. Think of it as a compliment that we don't see you as booger eatin', nose picking, foul smelling, lice ridden nerd flesh. :)

[Auricauricle]

That's kinda where the ribbing my wife and I give each other comes from.....Hell, if we can't pick on ourselves, how can we pick on anyone else?

Sorta like lookin' at that mirror when you're pointing fingers. Somehow that same finger's pointing the other way all of a sudden.

"Oh, oh...

[bobsticks]

I got the irony.

Smoke, you know I love ya, but c'mon mang. Some chit is just funny! Okay, mebbe not the lil' ol' lady but, seriously, Worfster's talkembout geeky nosepickers...y'know like the kind that might hangout at a Star Trek Convention?!

Some folks are funny. Sometimes I'm funny. I would imagine sometimes you're funny. When we lose our ability to laugh the world becomes a dangerous place.

[Auricauricle]

Kinda reminds me of what the gal said after she "went south" on the clown:

"Somethin' tastes funny...."

[Smokey]

Smoke, you know I love ya, but c'mon mang. Some chit is just funny! Okay, mebbe not the lil' ol' lady but, seriously, Worfster's talkembout geeky nosepickers...y'know like the kind that might hangout at a Star Trek Convention?!

Some folks are funny. Sometimes I'm funny. I would imagine sometimes you're funny. When we lose our ability to laugh the world becomes a dangerous place.

I did sound kind of too melodramatic. Nurse Hatchet must'ved increases the dosage :smilewinkgrin:

[Rich-n-Texas]

I did sound kind of too melodramatic. Nurse Hatchet must'ved increases the dosage :smilewinkgrin:
At my request Festus. :ihih:

And I don't think she'd appreciate you calling her Hatchet Lady. :nono: Remember, she knows how to perform labotomies. :yikes:

[Smokey]

At my request Festus. :ihih:

I should have known something was up when she showed up with box set of Star Wars http://www.lost-forum.com/images/smilies/th_plotting.gif

[3-LockBox]

Funny thing is, I see those same human detritus at Barnes & Noble, where it seems to be OK to just read the books there, rather than purchase them. Not that they were poor or anything...they were drinking Starbucks.

[ForeverAutumn]

Funny thing is, I see those same human detritus at Barnes & Noble, where it seems to be OK to just read the books there, rather than purchase them. Not that they were poor or anything...they were drinking Starbucks.

I don't know what book prices are like in the U.S. but in Canada it's usually much cheaper to order on-line. I'll go into Chapters or Indigo (big box book stores) to browse or research the books that I want to buy but then I'll usually order them on-line. The same book on Chapter's web-site will be 20% - 30% cheaper than in the store. I don't know why anyone would purchase a book directly from the store. :skep:

Does that make me human detritus?

:confused5:

[Rich-n-Texas]

How do you pronounce "detritus"?

(I wish all y'all would use a different word.)

[Auricauricle]

Kinda makes you think that the people who made Dawn of the Dead were onto something....Satire?

[bobsticks]

How do you pronounce "detritus"?

(I wish all y'all would use a different word.)


Main Entry: de·tri·tus
Pronunciation: \di-ˈtrī-təs\
Function: noun
Inflected Form(s): plural de·tri·tus \-ˈtrī-təs, -ˈtrī-ˌtüs\
Etymology: French détritus, from Latin detritus, past participle of deterere
Date: 1802
1: loose material (as rock fragments or organic particles) that results directly from disintegration
2 a: a product of disintegration, destruction, or wearing away : debris b: miscellaneous remnants : odds and ends <sifting through the detritus of his childhood — Michael Tomasky>
— de·tri·tal \-ˈtrī-təl\ adjective

[Rich-n-Texas]

Okay so the characters in Worf's bookstore were rock fragments created via disintegration. :yesnod:

THANK YOU.

[nightflier]

Now I don't exactly consider myself a refugee from a Jenny Craig meeting smelling like a LoveCraftian nightmare, and I certainly don't remember ever eating my boogers, but I do "hang" at the bookstores. I'm one of those people who can walk in there on a sunny Saturday at 10am and not realize that the cleaning staff are shooing me out late in the evening never having noticed the lights being flicked on & off for the past half hour. Plant me in front of the history section and I loose all sense of time & space. That said, I also end up buying at least half the books that have then piled up next to me.

Movies, not so much. The bookstores charge up the wazoo for movies and unless they have one of their BOGOF sales, I ain't buying. Music, ditto, sometimes way more than the movies - what's the reasoning with that logic? But when book stores go out of business, I'm there too, picking over the bones of the carcass. I'm usually there well before it's a carcass, however, so the meat is still fresh enough. That Hammer set might not be at the top of my list, but I'd certainly give it a passing thought.

I didn't know that Borders was done for, though, so I may have to venture into the snakepit that's become. I was always more of a Barnes & Noble shopper, don't know why really. Before that it was Rizzolli's but they're gone too. The one thing I do take issue with is the coffee shops in these places. When I go the the bookstore, I find a spot in a corner and try to stay out of people's way. So when I want to have a cup of coffee, I don't want to have to wait for a friggin' table because the local nerd-factory (read: community college) has no place for these kids to study and so they squat at my coffee table for 4-5 hours on end - and they don't even buy a book! These coffee shops should be for customers only, IMO.

Anyhow, I just wanted to put in my two cents that not everyone who hangs out at book stores is a pasty booger-eatin' excuse for a human being. Some of us are genuine customers, funny looking perhaps, but still customers.

[notphilmitchell]

I don't know what book prices are like in the U.S. but in Canada it's usually much cheaper to order on-line. I'll go into Chapters or Indigo (big box book stores) to browse or research the books that I want to buy but then I'll usually order them on-line. The same book on Chapter's web-site will be 20% - 30% cheaper than in the store. I don't know why anyone would purchase a book directly from the store. :skep:

Does that make me human detritus?

:confused5:

I always buy online. It is usually cheaper but always saves me from the snarky comments and looks of disdain from the minimum-wage geniuses manning the cash register. If it isn't conveniently shipped to my mailbox, I'll buy it at Sam's Club or else airport booksellers.

Human detritus? Probably not, but I was described as "a sad pop anorak" about a decade ago...

[Rich-n-Texas]

...Anyhow, I just wanted to put in my two cents that not everyone who hangs out at book stores is a pasty booger-eatin' excuse for a human being. Some of us are genuine customers, funny looking perhaps, but still customers.
And are rich and live in Newport Beach and drive brand new Lexus IS's too! :p

[bobsticks]

I always buy online. It is usually cheaper but always saves me from the snarky comments and looks of disdain from the minimum-wage geniuses manning the cash register. If it isn't conveniently shipped to my mailbox, I'll buy it at Sam's Club or else airport booksellers.

Human detritus? Probably not, but I was described as "a sad pop anorak" about a decade ago...

...if you're not snagging something from the au courant recommendations of "La Monde" or Blake Nelson's "Exile".

Problem is, you're letting the twerps win. The mere threart of violence will send all these little jackasses scampering back to the safety of their copy of "Evelyn Waugh's Love Letters".

Hey Yo...you disapprove? How about you raise your dandruff-covered unibrow at me one more time and I make you a book depository? You'll be the only feckless, little twee, literatti geek running around Starbucks with a copy of Jack Keruoac shoved up his ass...

...you'll never have a problem again. It's true.

[3-LockBox]

I don't know what book prices are like in the U.S. but in Canada it's usually much cheaper to order on-line. I'll go into Chapters or Indigo (big box book stores) to browse or research the books that I want to buy but then I'll usually order them on-line. The same book on Chapter's web-site will be 20% - 30% cheaper than in the store. I don't know why anyone would purchase a book directly from the store. :skep:

Does that make me human detritus?

:confused5:

depends on if yer a Velma or a Daphne (I have no idea what that means either really)

You'll look more diginified if yer holdin a Starbucks while you browse - just sayin

[Worf101]

I must admit I don't get it. Sitting/standing in a book store reading a book for hours... buy the dang thing. Support a dying medium, keep PFK's employed so they're not out breeding. I don't go to book stores like I used except there's a huge used book store I go to all the time. Love used books... they make me feel... timeless.

Da Worfster

[nightflier]

...if you're not snagging something from the au courant recommendations of "La Monde" or Blake Nelson's "Exile".

Problem is, you're letting the twerps win. The mere threart of violence will send all these little jackasses scampering back to the safety of their copy of "Evelyn Waugh's Love Letters".

Hey Yo...you disapprove? How about you raise your dandruff-covered unibrow at me one more time and I make you a book depository? You'll be the only feckless, little twee, literatti geek running around Starbucks with a copy of Jack Keruoac shoved up his ass...

...you'll never have a problem again. It's true.

"that's actually Le Monde, uni-brow has a "-" after the first syllable, literati has just one "t" and Kerouac is also misspelled."

...Said the info-clerk newbie just before becoming much more intimately acquainted with Kerouac's work then he ever intended.

[bobsticks]

ROTFLMGAO!!!

ya'z got me 'flier. Touche.

Clearly the amount of Spanglish, Chinglish, Froglish, and gangsta I've allowed to permeate my oratory has had an effect upon my written communication.

Where be the spellchecka?