Some feedback and opinions

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Okay, I have never liked tatoo's and I am pretty vocal about it. This is just my opinion, but I think they cheapen the look of people, especially women. It seems that nobody can stop at one, so they end up looking like a walking canvas.

I have been dating the same woman for about 5 years. She knows very profoundly how I feel about tatoo's as we have discussed it more times than I have used the bathroom in a week.(and that is alot). Its a deal breaker for me and she knows this. Yesterday she comes over and tells me she has a surprise.(I had one for her as well). She opens her blouse and there is a small tatoo. She lifts her long skirt, and there is another. I didn't blow up, I didn't cuss, and I didn't argue with her or chastize her for them. I simply said that I am not attracted to her anymore, and she is just like all other women who have tat's to me, cheap. I told her I do not want to see them(which means we cannot sleep together), but she has a right to do anything to her body that she wants to, and I have a right to kick her to the curb if I didn't like it. I realize that I cannot control what she does to her body, but she knew the consequences, and how I would respond. I didn't ask her why she did this when she knew I didn't like it. She has that right. She asked me why I was so angry, I told her that if I have to tell her(again) then she is just not the right woman for me.

Needless to say we parted ways, and the funny thing is, I don't feel bad about it. I loved her very much, but to do something I so blatantly hated, and then try to sell it as a prize to me was insulting, disgusting, and just plain wrong.

I do not have many things that bother me, but tatoos bother me, and I can not and do not want to get "over" it. What do you folks think?

[JohnMichael]

I do not understand her motivation. Yes it is her body but I would choose the love of a good man over a tattoo. My first thought from my dysfuctional self is she trying to sabotage the relationship?

You certainly do not have to learn to love tattoos and you made yourself perfectly clear. Had you not shared your dislike and she was unaware then it would be on you. We all have our deal breakers. Wishing you luck and happiness in your next relationship.

[ForeverAutumn]

I would choose the love of a good man over a tattoo.

What you say JM goes both ways. Sir TTT should be able to choose the love of a good woman over a tattoo. Tattoos are just cosmetic, like dying your hair or wearing makeup (albeit more permanent). It's whats inside that is most important. If the two of you could part ways so easily over something so trivial, I would say that the relationship was never meant to be in the first place.

The fact that she went ahead with her tats knowing how you would feel about them and that you don't feel bad about the breakup, sounds to me like you were both looking for a way out...possibly subconsciously, but still looking.

[Smokey]

It's whats inside that is most important. If the two of you could part ways so easily over something so trivial, I would say that the relationship was never meant to be in the first place.

I agree with you there. If it was true love, this trivial things will be overlooked. As the old saying goes, "Love conquer all, even fat."*

*quote from Sanford&Son :)

[audio amateur]

I agree that she definitely shouldn't have done that, especially in the way she did. But before you do anything too harsh, such as calling it a day (you have been with her 5 years..), you should still talk to her about it. But maybe being harsh will get her to think a little and perhaps (well hopefully surely) make her regret her move. From there, see how she reacts.
Good luck

[Feanor]

Okay, I have never liked tatoo's and I am pretty vocal about it. This is just my opinion, but I think they cheapen the look of people, especially women. It seems that nobody can stop at one, so they end up looking like a walking canvas.
..


First off, I don't see the point of engraving graffiti on one's body. Sure, tattoos can be art but most aren't. And there are plenty of other places for art so the "art" argument neither justifies nor explains the current tattoo craze.

Secondly, it is in my nature to despise illogicality especially when it is self-destructive. Tattooing falls into the illogically self-destructive category for me -- I suppose lots of people would disagree.

Sir T., you girl friend's getting those tattoos was a slap in the face to you given your expressed feelings. While your breaking the relationship seems extreme to many people, I understand that some actions of others, though superficially minor, can trigger profound revulsion.

Nevertheless I wouldn't exclude a reconciliation. Of course, that will require a concession on your part. With all respect, Sir Terrace, you don't seem like a person who concedes easily. Am I wrong?

[Mr Peabody]

I am puzzled why a girl would do that knowing you wouldn't like it. Maybe that is something you should have asked before acting abruptly. It could have been her way out, it could have been a test to see how strong the relationship was, it would be interesting to know her reaction when you broke it off. FA's post pretty much mirrors what my first thoughts were. After five years in a supposed relationship to break up over a tattoo is shallow but is no surprise based on how you act here. For her to do that knowing your views and for you to break it off so cavalier plainly shows there was no real relationship in the first place and you two were just satisfying one another's needs. You say you loved her but you don't know what love is. This post may sound harsh but I acknowledge you are just another example of how the world is today. People throw away relationships and marriages that have lasted longer than five years over things just as crazy. I don't want to trivialize her actions either, if tats are your pet peev then she clearly had a motive behind her action. The result may be the same but the situation definitely warranted more discussion. I don't understand the tattooing thing myself either. I notice she didn't have them in a place where they could be seen without removing her clothing, maybe it gave her a feeling of something she was lacking emotionally. At any rate you will never know unless you ask, why.

[ForeverAutumn]

After some time to think about this situation I have a few more comments (I should probably just mind my own business, but you asked).

If you really love this woman, you owe it to yourself to ask her why she got these tattoos. I have friends with tattoos and they are all very emotionally attached to them.

One friend is passionate about parrots. She currently has six of them. Two that she purchased and four that she has rescued. She has two parrot tattoos on her back. The tattoos are very personal to her. She is a professional and the tattoos are placed on her body so that they are not visible unless she wants them to be.

Another friend recovered from a serious illness and then proceeded to lose 50 pounds, get into shape and run a marathon. After her first marathon she had her calf tattood with a stick figure of a woman running. It has motivated her to run 7 more marathons (the last one only a few weeks ago). She is in her 50's.

I don't have any tattoos myself. But I have been considering getting a small treble clef tattoo to represent my love for music. I also once despised tattoos and couldn't understand why people got them. But seeing the emotional ties and satisfaction that my friends get from their tattoos has made me reconsider my opinion. My husband is opposed. But if it's something that is important to me, he will support my decision. This is the difference between the love that my husband and I share and the relationship that you have with your (ex)girlfriend. We support and respect each other even when we don't agree with each other.

If you really love her, have an open mind. Talk to her. She may have very compelling reasons to have wanted the tattoos and knowing how you felt about them was afraid to tell you in advance. It's much easier sometimes to beg forgiveness than to ask permission (and, frankly, a grown woman doesn't need anyone's permission...including yours).

It is so hard to find a good partner, don't be so quick to throw it away.

[thekid]

I myself do not understand the mind-set of having tattoo's and they seem to be fairly prevalent in my area. I am not a psycholigist by any stretch of the imagination but it seems to me to be another form of people trying to say "hey look at me" in world where individualism is often lost in the crowd. But I digress.........To the specifics of the thread....

I know you say you discussed this many times but in my 21 years of marriage conversations/topicsthat I thought were clear/important in my mind were casual banter in my wife's way of thinking. I know it sounds like the Men from Mars/Women from Venus pablum but there is some truth that our minds are wired a bit differently.

I think you owe it to each other after 5 years to have to talk about what she was thinking when she got this done. Her answer (as painful as it might be for you) will probably let you know if your decision was the right one. Without true closure I think that after time has passed you might get that "what if" question running through your mind.

If either one of you does not want to have that conversation, then it would seem to me that person has already moved on and things were already heading south in the relationship before the tatoo.

[GMichael]

I would never get a tatoo. They just are not for me. I know many people with them and have no problem with what others do, but I doubt that I would ever want to be involved with a girl with more than a cute teddy bear on her ankle.
Only you know how much it means to you and if you can live with it. If she knew how strongly you felt, then it doesn't make sense that she would go ahead with getting two. Maybe she thought that you'd grow to like them.
If my wife were to come home with one, I'd still keep her. But I also know her well enough to know that that will never happen. She hates them.
So, what means more to you? The girl? The tat? Or the slap in the face that this seems to be? If you really care about her, then you owe it to yourself to talk over her motives. In the end, it's going to have to be your call. Telling you how we feel about it is like us telling you that you should like electrostats over Audio Notes. It's a very personal thing.
Talk it over with her. Take your time. Try not to make a decision before you've had a chance to calm down and think about it. Then, do what's right for you.

[bobsticks]

I know you say you discussed this many times but in my 21 years of marriage conversations/topicsthat I thought were clear/important in my mind were casual banter in my wife's way of thinking. I know it sounds like the Men from Mars/Women from Venus pablum but there is some truth that our minds are wired a bit differently.

It has been my experience that this is true, if only because most of the time we as men soften things in pseudo-political way to avoid having a fight every ten minutes. I would spend some time in solitary reflection to determine if I had truly made your central point evident.

That said, this could well be a sorta provocative passive-aggressive dealio---"Does he care for me for 'who I am?'"; "Is his love for me greater than his hatred for body art?" As several have pointed out, this may have been a way of provoking and ending to something that was already winding down in one or both of your minds.

Frankly, you shouldn't be taking advice from someone that changes girlfriends every 6 or 8 months so I'm not gonna offer much, except to say that one doesn't normally devote five years of their life to something that is merely a convenience. She undoubtedly has some pretty special qualities if she shared your life for that length of time. I try to leave all relationships on good terms.

[Mr Peabody]

T didn't say what the tats were either, she may have put the Blu-ray emblem on, this would have been a clear message. What they were might give us armchair Freuds a bit more of a clue.

[bobsticks]

T didn't say what the tats were either, she may have put the Blu-ray emblem on, this would have been a clear message. What they were might give us armchair Freuds a bit more of a clue.

..worse yet, what if she used a big, green Arial Black font and put pixelthis???

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

I am puzzled why a girl would do that knowing you wouldn't like it. Maybe that is something you should have asked before acting abruptly. It could have been her way out, it could have been a test to see how strong the relationship was, it would be interesting to know her reaction when you broke it off. FA's post pretty much mirrors what my first thoughts were. After five years in a supposed relationship to break up over a tattoo is shallow but is no surprise based on how you act here. For her to do that knowing your views and for you to break it off so cavalier plainly shows there was no real relationship in the first place and you two were just satisfying one another's needs. You say you loved her but you don't know what love is. This post may sound harsh but I acknowledge you are just another example of how the world is today. People throw away relationships and marriages that have lasted longer than five years over things just as crazy. I don't want to trivialize her actions either, if tats are your pet peev then she clearly had a motive behind her action. The result may be the same but the situation definitely warranted more discussion. I don't understand the tattooing thing myself either. I notice she didn't have them in a place where they could be seen without removing her clothing, maybe it gave her a feeling of something she was lacking emotionally. At any rate you will never know unless you ask, why.

Peabody,
While I appreciated your comments, they smack with discontent. I am sorry that you do not like my approach regarding yourself, but whining, crying, stamping your feet, *****ing, and expecting somebody else to do something you can do yourself is also a BIG deal breaker with me(not to mention totally annoying). I complain, then I do something. I do not wait for somebody else to do it for me, and I don't put myself into a ***** mode without persuing a solution.

If you think you know me well enough to pass some of the judgements you have, I am here to tell you you don't. It is the height of immaturity not to be able to seperate one argument from another. I guess this is what happens when you make digs that are just not necessary.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Okay, I have never liked tatoo's and I am pretty vocal about it. This is just my opinion, but I think they cheapen the look of people, especially women. It seems that nobody can stop at one, so they end up looking like a walking canvas.

I have been dating the same woman for about 5 years. She knows very profoundly how I feel about tatoo's as we have discussed it more times than I have used the bathroom in a week.(and that is alot). Its a deal breaker for me and she knows this. Yesterday she comes over and tells me she has a surprise.(I had one for her as well). She opens her blouse and there is a small tatoo. She lifts her long skirt, and there is another. I didn't blow up, I didn't cuss, and I didn't argue with her or chastize her for them. I simply said that I am not attracted to her anymore, and she is just like all other women who have tat's to me, cheap. I told her I do not want to see them(which means we cannot sleep together), but she has a right to do anything to her body that she wants to, and I have a right to kick her to the curb if I didn't like it. I realize that I cannot control what she does to her body, but she knew the consequences, and how I would respond. I didn't ask her why she did this when she knew I didn't like it. She has that right. She asked me why I was so angry, I told her that if I have to tell her(again) then she is just not the right woman for me.
It's a shame that happened T.


Needless to say we parted ways, and the funny thing is, I don't feel bad about it. I loved her very much, but to do something I so blatantly hated, and then try to sell it as a prize to me was insulting, disgusting, and just plain wrong.
Not yet you don't.

I do not have many things that bother me, but tatoos bother me, and I can not and do not want to get "over" it. What do you folks think?
What do I think? What does she look like? :ihih:

[Rich-n-Texas]

BTW, nice job trying to burn down Universal Studios. :rolleyes: Can't do ANYTHING right can ya?

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

I really appreciate everyone comments. In this day and time, I fully understand why people think a tatoo is a "trivial" matter. I personally do not think ANYTHING brought up over and over not as a background topic, but a loud and forceful foreground topic is not trivial at all. I think when you have heard something over and over, and you decide to ignore what you heard, and dismiss something that was put in your face, then you have to be ready for the consequences.

I do not have a long laundry list of pet peeves, so people do not have to live in a box to be around me. I am not a tyrant, and if I am proven wrong, I admit it. There are many things I will compromise on(my kids will tell you this) but there is a few things I will not. Tatoo's are one of those things.

I know some folks here think I do not compromise. To a certain extent, you are right. I do not compromise to untruths(I do not care how insistant the poster is they are right), and I do not compromise on things I have strong conviction on. Everything else is fair game for compromise if the argument is compelling enough.

5 years is a long time. Anyone who would underestimate the committment that 5 years entails, or the love we shared would be completely mistaken. It was there. But you cannot dismiss that ever person on this planet has a breaking point, a deal breaker, and that cannot be minimalize. Some people are pissed when their significant other overspends, some when the toilet seat is not put down, others cleaning up behind themselves. These are not my issues, mine is just one simple issue, no tatoo's.

FA, how about the love of a good man over a tatoo? Obviously if she has more emotional attachment to the tatoo than myself, then the move I made was the right one for me. You can't marry a tatoo, and aside from the emotional attachment, it cannot do for her what I can.

I guess this is a heads up to anyone who is married or in a long term relationship. When your spouse or significant other says thus thing is a deal breaker, do not dismiss it. Outside of removing the tatoo, there can be no reconciliation. This issue has been hammered home far too hard to dismiss as just "trivial". The consequences were discussed(I specifically said DEAL BREAKER), why I don't like them was discussed, and her feelings where discussed as well. Asking why at this point is useless, things cannot be reversed without creating more damage to the skin. Some folks say that I was looking for a way out. You do not spend 5 years with somebody to just look for a way out. That is a waste of both parties time.

[GMichael]

Sorry for your pain T. Have you talked to your kids about it yet? What is their take?

[Woochifer]

Dang T! Good thing you already lost your hair ... this boil over of that Puerto Rican blood of yours was bound to singe whatever strands you had left! :cool:

Anyway, who am I to question anyone's aesthetic preferences? I'm one for taking more of a subtle approach. If things aren't at the untenable stage (though they definitely sound like they are), maybe you can find occasion to present her with your own "surprise present" (http://dermatologyoffice.com/html/tattoo-removal.html)? Of course, this might be a generational thing too.

I'm not down with tats either. They can accelerate a woman from classy to skanky faster than an F1 racer. But, it also depends on the location and size of the canvas. I've dated women with tats, and after a while I really didn't notice them anymore. Of course, there's a difference between something like a 1" rose tattoo on the shoulder or cleavage or bikini line, versus 4-foot portraits of the grim reaper in full color! :yikes:

Maybe it's just me, but I think body piercings are much more of a potential deal breaker. For whatever, the women I've known with tongue piercings just talk funny ... :shocked:

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Sorry for your pain T. Have you talked to your kids about it yet? What is their take?

G,
Quite frankly my kids were shocked she did it considering my vile mouth on the issue. My kids do not have piercings or tats, but I never told them they could not do either. This is THEIR generations way of expressing themselves, and there is no way I am going to take that from them. Its their own decision. Funny thing, they hate them worse than I do.

When my kids found out she got them(she actually told them before she told me) they told her that she had better figure out a way to hide them, because they told her "he ain't going for this at all". Her response to them was(and I quote) "he'll get over it". My son Jerry told her "he'll get over it when you turn black!" (She is spanish). Personally I think she wanted the tats no matter what the consequences were, and that she didn't really care what I desired. So hence, we are not together, and not going to get together again.

Rich, I really do not feel bad. I cannot wrap my emotions around something that I cannot control. She knew the consequences, she did what she wanted to do, so no hurt here. I cannot marry, or feel bad about somebody who would brush aside my feeling so easily. Especially considering that I jumped to here every whim. When the hometheater system IN MY HOUSE was too loud for her, I turned it down. When she stayed with me, I always lowered the toilet seat after I finished. She didn't do house cleaning, so I hired a maid for my house, and hers as well. Her car breaks down, I pay to get it fixed(we are not married). When she moved, me and my boys moved her. Anything she wanted, she got. So I hope she really loves that tatoo, and I hope that tatoo can jump off her arm and do the things I did for her.

I do not feel bitter or angry, but I do feel disrespected as I would never do anything she really didn't like. All my boys can say is...NEXT!!!!

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Dang T! Good thing you already lost your hair ... this boil over of that Puerto Rican blood of yours was bound to singe whatever strands you had left! :cool:

You know Wooch, I didn't get mad and I am shocked by that myself. Didn't raise my voice, didn't cuss in a foreign language, didn't even raise my voice. I just said what I had to say. My boys were in disbelief at that.


Anyway, who am I to question anyone's aesthetic preferences? I'm one for taking more of a subtle approach. If things aren't at the untenable stage (though they definitely sound like they are), maybe you can find occasion to present her with your own "surprise present" (http://dermatologyoffice.com/html/tattoo-removal.html)? Of course, this might be a generational thing too.

I did tell her this was the only way to reconciliation. Outside of this, the curtain has closed.


I'm not down with tats either. They can accelerate a woman from classy to skanky faster than an F1 racer. But, it also depends on the location and size of the canvas. I've dated women with tats, and after a while I really didn't notice them anymore. Of course, there's a difference between something like a 1" rose tattoo on the shoulder or cleavage or bikini line, versus 4-foot portraits of the grim reaper in full color! :yikes:

LOL. Her's were not that big, but tatoo stick out to me in such a way that there is no way I can ignore them. They are unsightly to me, and as beautiful as her skin was, there was no way these tats would ever blend in. Its very difficult to ignore something you so profoundly hate.


Maybe it's just me, but I think body piercings are much more of a potential deal breaker. For whatever, the women I've known with tongue piercings just talk funny ... :shocked:

Actually that was number two on the list of deal breakers. There was no number three. I didn't arrive to this decision at the spur of the moment. I told her when we first started dating that I didn't like either tat's or piercings, and that I would never marry a woman that had them. That was based on dating a woman that DID have them, and every time I saw them I was repulsed by them. I always wanted to throw up in tin foil and eat it whenever I saw here tatoo. We didn't last long either, I just couldn't get over the nausea.

[GMichael]

I always wanted to throw up in tin foil and eat it

Now THAT'S an expression I've never heard before. Congrats T. Not too many people can shock me, but this got it done.

[noddin0ff]

hmmm. Before I get going, nobody can peer into another persons relationship and accurately diagnose it. So, take this as, at best, wild speculation.

I don't think relationships should have preset 'deal breakers'. They're too complex for that. Although, certainly, testing your partners boundaries can tilt a relationship over to failure. The message I get from reading the thread is that there is an undercurrent of 'control' here. Deal breakers are like ultimatums that set up a situation of control of one person over another. I don't think that's something that works in a long term healthy relationship. And, control isn't necessarily an obviously bad thing. You fix her car, you clean her house -- both generous and kind acts. But, these kindnesses cede control of these elements of her life to you, leaving her with less control of her own life. I'm guessing the tats were an expression of her taking control of her life. Perhaps, a very personal part of her life she didn't want to cede control over.

That you don't miss her suggests the relationship wasn't a long-term two-way give-and-take one from the start. It could still be put back together, perhaps. But you might want to re-examine the nature of the relationship. Permanent relationships work best with equal partners; the trick is to figure out what that means and how to do it.

My 2 cents worth of speculation. And a heap of respect for being open about it.

[ForeverAutumn]

FA, how about the love of a good man over a tatoo? Obviously if she has more emotional attachment to the tatoo than myself, then the move I made was the right one for me. You can't marry a tatoo, and aside from the emotional attachment, it cannot do for her what I can.

I don't dispute what you say. Should she have got the tattoos knowing how you felt? Probably not...it sounds like she knew the risk that she was taking. I don't pretend to know anything about you or your relationship. I was simply trying to point out that there are two sides to every coin (and maybe try to extend a woman's perspective). Your mind was made up before starting this thread. And that's certainly your perogative.

I hope that you are both able to find happiness in the future whether it's together or apart.

[JSE]

Only you can make the choice you did so nobody can really say you did the right or wrong thing but.....

Just to play Devil's Advocate,

Maybe she was testing you? Maybe she she was unsure about your true commitment to her and got the Tattoos as a test. Maybe she felt that if you would let the tattoos come between you guys then you were not worth staying with. So maybe you failed the test in her eyes and she was willing to accept the potential and now real outcome.

Again, just giving you a different viewpoint. Bottom line is she knew the risk going in and she was willing to take that risk.

So does GM need to throw a "newly single party"? I bet he already has some nice ladies ready for you.

JSE

[GMichael]

So does GM need to throw a "newly single party"? I bet he already has some nice ladies ready for you.

JSE

So far I only have a few hot Latino types lined up. I'm hoping to fill in with a little variety before I'm ready for the party. Jes says that she'll be there but can't do any drinking.

[Rich-n-Texas]

So far I only have a few hot Latino types lined up (for tex)...
Yeah, so BACK OFF!!! :mad5:

[GMichael]

Yeah, so BACK OFF!!! :mad5:
Easy now Tex. I'm working on getting both sets of the cheerleaders from Wooch's thread to join in. There should be no shortage of hotties to go around. So please try to share. Remember, poke & pass.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Only you can make the choice you did so nobody can really say you did the right or wrong thing but.....

Just to play Devil's Advocate,

Maybe she was testing you? Maybe she she was unsure about your true commitment to her and got the Tattoos as a test.

That was a piss poor test if that was the case. I would have chosen something that was FAR less controversial, and who's consequences were not spelled out before hand. Besides, I do not play those sort of games. If I am with you 5 years, I am serious as a heart attack during a blizzard!


Maybe she felt that if you would let the tattoos come between you guys then you were not worth staying with.

If that were the case, she could have left years ago, and painted herself up like a picture. She never mentioned she wanted tatoo's(even before I mention I hated them) in five years that I have known her. So I was pretty surprised that she got two. I hope the tatoo's were important to her, more important than her desire to get married.


So maybe you failed the test in her eyes and she was willing to accept the potential and now real outcome.

I failed that test when I first mentioned how much I hated them years ago. At that point she should have walked away. She never appeared bothered by my hate of tatoo's, and she certainly never responded when I went on a tangent about them. This was truely a surprise to me!


Again, just giving you a different viewpoint. Bottom line is she knew the risk going in and she was willing to take that risk.

Sadly I think she underestimated how much she could get away with. She could overspend money, I don't care. She could leave makeup all over the bathroom, I don't care. There were literally thousands of things she could have done, and I wouldn't have cared. But she chose the thing I DID care about, and threw that in me mug. Not a good move, especially when you have it so good.


So does GM need to throw a "newly single party"? I bet he already has some nice ladies ready for you.

JSE

Meh, I do not think I am getting back in the market so soon. I am re-mixing and touching up soundtracks for bluray like crazy right now, have a post production facility I am opening in a few months, and two boys that will be graduating from college(Stanford and USC). I think I'd rather focus on those things, at least until the two knuckle heads are out of school before jumping back in(if I ever do). I am not the type that gets lonely, there are far too many things in my life that I enjoy. Now I can turn the hometheater up when watching movies, leave dishes in the sink overnight, leave the toilet seat up, and not have to fund a afternoon of shopping with the girls. I am gonna miss her, but not quite as much as I thought. What is done, is done. I find it difficult to march forward while looking back.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Oh, by the way. Will there be ribs and chicken at this party? If so, I am in:3:

[GMichael]

Oh, by the way. Will there be ribs and chicken at this party? If so, I am in:3:

LJ is always in charge of the grill. He likes to make steaks but he may be able to make a little room for some ribs and chicken.

[Mr Peabody]

That was a piss poor test if that was the case. I would have chosen something that was FAR less controversial, and who's consequences were not spelled out before hand. Besides, I do not play those sort of games. If I am with you 5 years,

" I am serious as a heart attack during a blizzard! " a Pixel moment if I've ever seen one.

If that were the case, she could have left years ago, and painted herself up like a picture. She never mentioned she wanted tatoo's(even before I mention I hated them) in five years that I have known her. So I was pretty surprised that she got two. I hope the tatoo's were important to her, more important than her desire to get married.

** You showed her.

I failed that test when I first mentioned how much I hated them years ago. At that point she should have walked away. She never appeared bothered by my hate of tatoo's, and she certainly never responded when I went on a tangent about them. This was truely a surprise to me!


She could overspend money, I don't care.
She could leave makeup all over the bathroom, I don't care.
There were literally thousands of things she could have done, and I wouldn't have cared.
Ooooo.... your all I've got tonight...
You're all I've got tonight...
I need you, tonight. Wasn't that the Cars

But she chose the thing I DID care about, and threw that in me mug. Not a good move, especially when you have it so good.

The more you write the more transparent you become. You expect a woman to bow to you because you provide all this monetary support. You don't need a mate you need a mistress. You're cold dude.

Meh, I do not think I am getting back in the market so soon. I am re-mixing and touching up soundtracks for bluray like crazy right now, have a post production facility I am opening in a few months, and two boys that will be graduating from college(Stanford and USC). I think I'd rather focus on those things, at least until the two knuckle heads are out of school before jumping back in(if I ever do). I am not the type that gets lonely, there are far too many things in my life that I enjoy.

** You'll always be a threesome, you, your head and the unfortunate one you decide to hook up with next. You know what they say, 3 is a crowd.

Now I can turn the hometheater up when watching movies, leave dishes in the sink overnight, leave the toilet seat up, and not have to fund a afternoon of shopping with the girls. I am gonna miss her, but not quite as much as I thought. What is done, is done. I find it difficult to march forward while looking back.

** Ah, the important things in life, it is good....

I know you will blast me with a post of immature name calling as well as anyone who gives you an alternate opinion of what you did. It is apparent you thought you'd come on here and get a bunch of gradification from boys patting you on the back and way to go. I am personally glad to see most here have more substance about them. You come off as a shallow, materialistic, erogant, heartless, lost soul.

[Rich-n-Texas]

** Ah, the important things in life, it is good....

I know you will blast me with a post of immature name calling as well as anyone who gives you an alternate opinion of what you did. It is apparent you thought you'd come on here and get a bunch of gradification from boys patting you on the back and way to go. I am personally glad to see most here have more substance about them. You come off as a shallow, materialistic, erogant, heartless, lost soul.

:eek6: :yikes:


LJ is always in charge of the grill. He likes to make steaks but he may be able to make a little room for some ribs and chicken.
L.J. I think I remember a guy here with that name. It was a long time ago though. :idea:

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

** Ah, the important things in life, it is good....

I know you will blast me with a post of immature name calling as well as anyone who gives you an alternate opinion of what you did. It is apparent you thought you'd come on here and get a bunch of gradification from boys patting you on the back and way to go. I am personally glad to see most here have more substance about them. You come off as a shallow, materialistic, erogant, heartless, lost soul.

Peabody, no I am not going to waste my time with you. You are a pimple on the ass of a elephant as far as I am concerned. Your opinion is most at home in a refuse bin. There is no way I can be erogant, and If I am shallow, you are non existant. When it comes to you, heartless is about right, and it is impossible to be a person of substance when talking to you because you lack substance yourself. I wasn't looking for any gratification, there can be no gratification in a situation like this. I also wasn't looking for an opinion from a cry baby who would rather spill tears over something rather than do something about it. You words are hollow, just like your head.

Your alternate opinion was nothing more than a childish dig. You could have kept that to yourself. FA opinion was far more valid than yours. She made her point without the attitude, something you should take note of in the future.

[Rich-n-Texas]

BTW, nice job trying to burn down Universal Studios. :rolleyes: Can't do ANYTHING right can ya?
Curiously, he ignored this. :sosp:

See what happens when he gets pissed off Mr. P? :yikes:

[bobsticks]

arrogant

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Curiously, he ignored this. :sosp:

See what happens when he gets pissed off Mr. P? :yikes:

Do you really think I am going to tell that I burnt down Universal's backlot? Damn, I just told!:devil:

[bobsticks]

Didja at least shout "Cuba Libre!!" when ya threww the Molotov cocktail?

[E-Stat]

I do not have many things that bother me, but tatoos bother me, and I can not and do not want to get "over" it. What do you folks think?
I guess I'm the dissenting voice here. While I'm not into women with "sleeves" like Kat Von D, I find small colorful ones ok. Not the typical "biker blue" variety mind you. My conservative, straight laced, phi beta kappa Dean of a college wife has three: A small flower on her ankle, a pattern on her shoulder, and one on her lower back. To each his or her own.

As for your situation, I can only say that trust and respect is essential for a relationship. Perhaps this issue with your GF is indicative of deeper differences.

rw

PS: Hey guys, shall we tone it down a bit? No need to attack each other, right?

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Didja at least shout "Cuba Libre!!" when ya threww the Molotov cocktail?

I wasn't that smart:o

[Rich-n-Texas]

Didja at least shout "Cuba Libre!!" when ya threww the Molotov cocktail?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! :lol:

He didn't have to. The sun was reflecting offa his dome. Everyone could see who it was.

[Rich-n-Texas]

PS: Hey guys, shall we tone it down a bit? No need to attack each other, right?
The voice of reason. He he, snicker snicker...

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! :lol:

He didn't have to. The sun was reflecting offa his dome. Everyone could see who it was.

Grrrrrrrr:incazzato:

[Rich-n-Texas]

Grow some hair back and you won't have to get mad when I say things like that!

Oh... wait... :lol:

[GMichael]

Grow some hair back and you won't have to get mad when I say things like that!

Oh... wait... :lol:
I didn't know that he was a Mexican hairless.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Grow some hair back and you won't have to get mad when I say things like that!

Oh... wait... :lol:

But I like being bald headed, its a chica magnet. Personally I would rather be bald than....well.....portly:yesnod:

[bobsticks]

I guess I'm the dissenting voice here.

Well, not totally. I don't have a problem with tats in moderation. This thread isn't about my opinion on tattoos or anyone else's, it's about control and the battle for equality within relationships. The tattoo thing is a symptom that peeps seem to get caught up on.

Put it this way, boys say you come home to the significant other in flagrante dilecto in a gangbang with ten biker types. For 99 out of 100 of you there will be some discord around the homestead because infedelity is usually a dealbreaker...and that's a value judgement. Whether any of us agree with tattoos being on the same level of importance, they do to Terence. The repercussion for him is that that commitment lessens the pool of prospective partners. So be it.

In the midst of some decrying the lack of commitment in modern relationships and jumping on T's values folks are missing the trees for the forrest. After five years of no body art, ol' girl shows up with fresh paint and says "hey honey, look what I brought home".Smacks of manipulation from this point of view. My current girlfriend hates heavy industrial music. If I play Psychopomps there'll be some dissent and Einsturzende Neubauten will clear the house...so I don't play 'em. I've got three thousand discs of different genres--the analogous phrase would be three thousand different ways to express myself "artistically"---so why be a heat seeker? Evidently T's old lady felt differently. Again, her right but there's repercussions for all of us.

We all meet here for our daily coffee talk (beer talk for Swishy) but we really don't know each other all that well. Things in folk's pasts color their opinions and form their values. A little support for one of our bretheren wouldn't be out of order.

[Rich-n-Texas]

I'm not "portly". I'm well proportioned. :ihih:

And... everything sticks said. :yesnod:

[GMichael]

Well, not totally. I don't have a problem with tats in moderation. This thread isn't about my opinion on tattoos or anyone else's, it's about control and the battle for equality within relationships. The tattoo thing is a symptom that peeps seem to get caught up on.

Put it this way, boys say you come home to the significant other in flagrante dilecto in a gangbang with ten biker types. For 99 out of 100 of you there will be some discord around the homestead because infedelity is usually a dealbreaker...and that's a value judgement. Whether any of us agree with tattoos being on the same level of importance, they do to Terence. The repercussion for him is that that commitment lessens the pool of prospective partners. So be it.

In the midst of some decrying the lack of commitment in modern relationships and jumping on T's values folks are missing the trees for the forrest. After five years of no body art, ol' girl shows up with fresh paint and says "hey honey, look what I brought home".Smacks of manipulation from this point of view. My current girlfriend hates heavy industrial music. If I play Psychopomps there'll be some dissent and Einsturzende Neubauten will clear the house...so I don't play 'em. I've got three thousand discs of different genres--the analogous phrase would be three thousand different ways to express myself "artistically"---so why be a heat seeker? Evidently T's old lady felt differently. Again, her right but there's repercussions for all of us.

We all meet here for our daily coffee talk (beer talk for Swishy) but we really don't know each other all that well. Things in folk's pasts color their opinions and form their values. A little support for one of our bretheren wouldn't be out of order.

Oh blow it out your.......


Uh, is this thing on?

I mean to say, yes. You are 100% correct sir.

[ForeverAutumn]

We all meet here for our daily coffee talk (beer talk for Swishy) but we really don't know each other all that well. Things in folk's pasts color their opinions and form their values. A little support for one of our bretheren wouldn't be out of order.

What you say is true. However, when you ask for opinions, you have to expect to get them. We're an opinionated bunch around here!

For the record, I support Sir T's decision to end his relationship. If he can live with his decision then it was the right one to make, regardless of the reasons. And he shouldn't give a rat's ass what any of us think. I'm even empathetic. You wake up one morning thinking that life is grand and the next minute everything's different and you're starting over. I've been there, and no matter how much Sir T may have to occupy his time and keep himself busy, he's got to be hurt.

So, although I expressed my opinion and I stand by it, I do support my brethren.

[daviethek]

Sir T,

I'm a big believer in that. My wife and I have been married 25 years. At about the 12 year point, things went to sh!t. One of the strangest revelations that came out through our therapy and reconcilliation process was how much of me she just didn't understand. It was a shock. Although you've done a good job of describing your disgust for tats to us, she may have heard something a bit different. You never know.

Regardless, one thing is for sure, you didn't hate her for five years. A bit of love and perhaps a lot of bodily fluids pased between you two so it is a loss of good company and perhaps more indeed. Take a breath and make sure this what you want.

Don't listen to any Leonard Cohen for at least a month.

[bobsticks]

What you say is true. However, when you ask for opinions, you have to expect to get them. We're an opinionated bunch around here!

True so true, Fall Girl. FWIW, I wasn't eluding to any of your posts.

No Laughing Lenny, eh? Sounds like good advice Davie.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

What you say is true. However, when you ask for opinions, you have to expect to get them. We're an opinionated bunch around here!

I respected the opinion that I got, and was pleased to get them. I didn't expect anyone to agree with me, I was just looking for another perspective. I got it. I appreciated your comments, and your perspective. Peabody's is really the only one I took exception with, because his was nothing more than a immature little dig, another chance for him to display his displeasure about my comments regarding his continous whining(which gets on my damn nerves).


For the record, I support Sir T's decision to end his relationship. If he can live with his decision then it was the right one to make, regardless of the reasons. And he shouldn't give a rat's ass what any of us think. I'm even empathetic. You wake up one morning thinking that life is grand and the next minute everything's different and you're starting over. I've been there, and no matter how much Sir T may have to occupy his time and keep himself busy, he's got to be hurt.

I am bothered by this, not necessarily hurt. I would be hurt if she cheated(we have not talked about the repercussions of this). I would be hurt if she stole from me(we have not talked about the repercussions of this). I am bothered that she would do the very thing that I dislike so much(we have talked about this ad nauseum). I cannot be hurt because another individual makes a decision about their body, its their right to do whatever they want with it. I am not hurt that I did exactly what I said I would do if she did what she did(talked about ad nauseum).


So, although I expressed my opinion and I stand by it, I do support my brethren.

I appreciate your opinion AND your support.

[ForeverAutumn]

True so true, Fall Girl. FWIW, I wasn't eluding to any of your posts.

I didn't think that. But thanks for caring enough to want to clarify. :smile5:

This thread needs more smilies...

:smile5: :biggrin5: :smile5: :biggrin5: :smile5: :biggrin5:

[audio amateur]

Is it me or has this whole place turned white? (I'm not talking about this threads subject, just the visual aspect of the web-site)

[L.J.]

L.J. I think I remember a guy here with that name. It was a long time ago though. :idea:

I was chillin' at the beach man :cornut:

[GMichael]

I was chillin' at the beach man :cornut:

Welcome back. Hope you enjoyed the fun in the sun.
Now fire up that BBQ. We've got some very hungry partiers here. Got room for some ribs and chicken this time around?

[bobsticks]

I was chillin' at the beach man :cornut:

I envy you, sir. This here's tornado country 'round these parts. We had one touch down in the city over the weekend and the sirens are going off as I type.

[bobsticks]

Is it me or has this whole place turned white?

Lilly-ass white, like a tractor pull in Mud Creek, Kentucky...but there's Sir T. and L.J. and several others to bring some diversity...and if I don't get some sun soon they're gonna make a whole new category on the census---"translucent".


Oh,I see that isn't what you meant.

[nightflier]

I am bothered by this, not necessarily hurt. I would be hurt if she cheated(we have not talked about the repercussions of this). I would be hurt if she stole from me(we have not talked about the repercussions of this). I am bothered that she would do the very thing that I dislike so much(we have talked about this ad nauseum). I cannot be hurt because another individual makes a decision about their body, its their right to do whatever they want with it. I am not hurt that I did exactly what I said I would do if she did what she did(talked about ad nauseum).

Look, everyone knows that we haven't gotten along on any of these threads, but you laid it out there, so here's my question: what is really the deal with the tats? I mean aside from "the girl looks like a ho" argument, what is this obsession with bodily markings that you have such an issue with? It sounds rather like there are some deeper issues on your end that you should ask yourself about.

So far, 99% of the responses I've read have focussed on your ex and "the relationship." But this is really about you. I think only Nod got to the crux of the matter when he mentioned "control." Relationships don't have deal-breakers - nothing is black & white like that. Infidelity is a big one, no doubt, but even that isn't a deal breaker for every relationship. Many things can be repulsive: cleanliness, a handicap or injury, a perversion, a different religion, but in the end, every relationship has much more of a gray area, a give & take range, a no-fire zone, or breathing room, for lack of a better example.

Now I've been with the same person for 16 years, and I can tell you that without that elasticity, the relationship cannot endure - there are age-old proverbs about that, so there has to be some truth to it, don't you think? The fact is your relationship was too rigid, even if it was just on this one small thing about bodily markings. This one point of absolute rigidity was where everything else (all the other give & takes) halted. It was the one pin that everything else balanced on - at least that was what she believed and you confirmed.

When I read your first post, the first thing that came to mind was the scene in Ferris Bueler's Day Off, where his best friend trashes his dad's absolute favorite car. It was a symbol of what was broken in his relationship with his father. Perhaps, the tat that your ex got was that symbol. Just read what I quoted above - you considered the tat to be more of an issue than cheating or stealing (?). It sounds to me like there is an issue of control in your life that was stifling her. I'm guessing that this is a recurring theme in your relationships with other people too. I don't really know, but I'm basing that on your responses, both in this thread and others. You are extremely rigid in your absolutes and not many people consider this realistic, maybe you don't either, but you find comfort in it somehow.

Anyhow, you'll probably tear into me like you did with Mr. P. Fine. You have to live with the lifestyle you've created for yourself. But ask yourself this: why can't you reconcile your relationship with your ex?

[audio amateur]

Look, everyone knows that we haven't gotten along on any of these threads, but you laid it out there, so here's my question: what is really the deal with the tats? I mean aside from "the girl looks like a ho" argument, what is this obsession with bodily markings that you have such an issue with? It sounds rather like there are some deeper issues on your end that you should ask yourself about.

...

Anyhow, you'll probably tear into me like you did with Mr. P. Fine. You have to live with the lifestyle you've created for yourself. But ask yourself this: why can't you reconcile your relationship with your ex?
Sensible words my friend

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Look, everyone knows that we haven't gotten along on any of these threads, but you laid it out there, so here's my question: what is really the deal with the tats? I mean aside from "the girl looks like a ho" argument, what is this obsession with bodily markings that you have such an issue with? It sounds rather like there are some deeper issues on your end that you should ask yourself about.

You know nightliar, you are pretty transparent, I can see right through you. So here is my response. This is not about me at all. I got up that morning, put my pants on, and went to work just like I normally do. No surprises here. She got up, went to work, and came home with something that she was warned was a deal breaker. There is nothing psychological or controlling, I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY THEY LOOK PERIOD. It is just that simple, and there is no need to dig any deeper than that. Everyone on this planet has their pet peeves. Do you think there is something deeper psychologically going on just because somebody has a pet peeve? Are you peeve free? I do not think so, as EVERYONE has SOMETHING that will set them off. I mean, if I was your partner of 16 years your passive/aggressive nature would get on my nerves.

You have always been a failure at online pshychology. What makes you think you will be success this time?


So far, 99% of the responses I've read have focussed on your ex and "the relationship." But this is really about you. I think only Nod got to the crux of the matter when he mentioned "control." Relationships don't have deal-breakers - nothing is black & white like that. Infidelity is a big one, no doubt, but even that isn't a deal breaker for every relationship. Many things can be repulsive: cleanliness, a handicap or injury, a perversion, a different religion, but in the end, every relationship has much more of a gray area, a give & take range, a no-fire zone, or breathing room, for lack of a better example.

When somebody "controls" somebody else, it is absolute in every way. In case you forgot to read ALL of my responses(which you usually do) I plainly said that I DO NOT have a long list of pet peeves and do not do's, just one. That would make me as far from a control freak as anyone could be. Are you taking an oportunity to jab at me because of your contempt of me? If that is the case, you are nothing more than a shadow of Peabody, which earns you alot less respect for lack of originality.


Now I've been with the same person for 16 years, and I can tell you that without that elasticity, the relationship cannot endure - there are age-old proverbs about that, so there has to be some truth to it, don't you think? The fact is your relationship was too rigid, even if it was just on this one small thing about bodily markings. This one point of absolute rigidity was where everything else (all the other give & takes) halted. It was the one pin that everything else balanced on - at least that was what she believed and you confirmed.

This is asinine. You do not know the extent of my relationship, the condition it was in, or whether there were any other problems. I never mention any of that. So where did you pull this from, your bum? One issue does not make you rigid. But no issues make you weak and disconnected from your significant other. Do you just let your same person of 16 years walk all over you. Get down off that mountain, I am sure your relationship is not the pinnicle of human interaction. Any human that interacts with another human will find that there is something that human does to annoy them. If you saying you don't, then you are not human..or a nightLIAR.


When I read your first post, the first thing that came to mind was the scene in Ferris Bueler's Day Off, where his best friend trashes his dad's absolute favorite car. It was a symbol of what was broken in his relationship with his father. Perhaps, the tat that your ex got was that symbol. Just read what I quoted above - you considered the tat to be more of an issue than cheating or stealing (?). It sounds to me like there is an issue of control in your life that was stifling her. I'm guessing that this is a recurring theme in your relationships with other people too. I don't really know, but I'm basing that on your responses, both in this thread and others. You are extremely rigid in your absolutes and not many people consider this realistic, maybe you don't either, but you find comfort in it somehow.

Keep your day job PLEASE!!!! You are not even coming off as genuine. This is you taking another oportunity to cast your negative opinion about me. You know nightliar, you are a weak person, very weak. If you have to come over here and attempt to kick me when you think I am down, then you have no game weakling. I am not all THAT down, and certainly not down enough to see your sorry ass coming and going bro. Take this sorry interpretation of psycho-bable and get on your way. You are not even good at being sneaky or at best subtle.


Anyhow, you'll probably tear into me like you did with Mr. P. Fine. You have to live with the lifestyle you've created for yourself. But ask yourself this: why can't you reconcile your relationship with your ex?

Why can't you mind your own business? Why in the world would you respond to a personal post of a person you admit you don't like? Do you really think everyone is as stupid as you are?

[Mr Peabody]

Terry, I'd like to respond once more just to clarify a few things. My response here has nothing to do with discussions or whatever we may have had on other threads, about other topics. I may have been a bit inconsistent mixing humor in with more serious thoughts but make no mistake what I said about you is very sincere and not a frivolous attack. You can't even accept my opinion of you and your situation, you have to make it about something else. You as well seem to have some contempt. I for one can have a battle and move on. You and I have had civil exchanges on other threads before. If I was out to attack this wouldn't be. Like others I am not changing like the wind here, I hold to everything I posted and meant it. I believe you'd like to put a spin on what I said to make it less poinient because I believe I got pretty close to the true you.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Terry, I'd like to respond once more just to clarify a few things. My response here has nothing to do with discussions or whatever we may have had on other threads, about other topics. I may have been a bit inconsistent mixing humor in with more serious thoughts but make no mistake what I said about you is very sincere and not a frivolous attack. You can't even accept my opinion of you and your situation, you have to make it about something else. You as well seem to have some contempt. I for one can have a battle and move on. You and I have had civil exchanges on other threads before. If I was out to attack this wouldn't be. Like others I am not changing like the wind here, I hold to everything I posted and meant it. I believe you'd like to put a spin on what I said to make it less poinient because I believe I got pretty close to the true you.

Peabody,
I am sorry, but I think you are being less than honest here. Some of the comments you made you would have to personally know me to make. You don't. Its your assumptions based on our past interactions that you are using to draw your conclusions, and lets face it, you do not have anything else to base it on. We have never met face to face, never spent any time around each other, so how can you say I am "erogant(great spelling by the way) materialistic(how could you possibly know this?), heartless(ignorant assumption based on lack of exposure), and shallow(much like your assumptions).

I am sorry, I am having a tough time believing that you are being even the least bit genuine or honest. You call it spin, I call it a dig. Whatever it is, you do not known enough about be to say the things you say. So please excuse me if I think of you as disengenious and somewhat a phoney. You also have a bad habit of doing analysis, and coming to conclusions with 1/100th of the information that you need to do this logically and accurately. By the way, nobody calls me Terry, and neither should you. Thanks

[Rich-n-Texas]

Nice post Terry.

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA :biggrin5:

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Nice post Terry.

AH HA HA HA HA HA HA :biggrin5:

Thanks my favorite big boned brudda:prrr:

[Rich-n-Texas]

What's he mean by that? :incazzato:

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Sir T,

I'm a big believer in that. My wife and I have been married 25 years. At about the 12 year point, things went to sh!t. One of the strangest revelations that came out through our therapy and reconcilliation process was how much of me she just didn't understand. It was a shock. Although you've done a good job of describing your disgust for tats to us, she may have heard something a bit different. You never know.

Regardless, one thing is for sure, you didn't hate her for five years. A bit of love and perhaps a lot of bodily fluids pased between you two so it is a loss of good company and perhaps more indeed. Take a breath and make sure this what you want.

Don't listen to any Leonard Cohen for at least a month.

I actually agree with you on this, especially when it comes to nuance and subtlties. But when somebody hits you on the head, or puts something in your face so plainly it brings it all back down to earth. I cannot see how you can turn "I do not like tatoo's, they are ugly and unsightly, and the cheapen your look. Having tatoos is a deal breaker, and if you ever get them, I will not be attracted to you anymore and will show you the door. Are we clear on this?" to mean anything different than that. Especially when she knows you are serious as cancer. Listen to that for five years and you cannot make it any more plain than that. In this case it is not a mars or venus thing, its a " I wanna see how far I can push this or, does he mean what he says" type of thing. You can push from the Bay Area to New York City on just about everything else under the sun, but this only gets a centimeter or less.

I completely understand that women and men can interpret the same things quite differently, which is why I made this as plain as the brown on my skin, and the baldness on my head.

While there are countless issues that we may have that discribe the venus/mars concept, this just isn't one of them.

[Mr Peabody]

You are right Terry I do base my opinion of you on our interactions here and how you respond to others here and it's very clear to see how you are. You are transparent as well as the other adjectives I used. Are you saying you are different in life than you portray here? I guess that would make you the phoney. You can think of me any way you want because I could so care less what you think.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

You are right Terry I do base my opinion of you on our interactions here and how you respond to others here and it's very clear to see how you are. You are transparent as well as the other adjectives I used. Are you saying you are different in life than you portray here? I guess that would make you the phoney. You can think of me any way you want because I could so care less what you think.

If this is your opinion, then you definately do not know me, and that basically invalidates everything you said. My life is nothing close to how you see it, as limited a time and way you see it. You are an idiot for basing it on a thread of interaction and information.
So now go fetch you some BBQ chicken and ribs, maybe some potato salad, DEFINATELY get some ice cubes to chew on, shut the hell up and join the party.

:23:

[nightflier]

I DO NOT LIKE THE WAY THEY LOOK PERIOD.

No need to shout, lil't. Or should I call you lil'terry? That kind of has a nice ring to it, don't you think lil'terry? I think I will re-christen you to lil'terry. How cute!

Now, if you just don't like the look of tats, then the bigger issue is how you can just end a long-term relationship so exactingly and then go back to mixing your little tunes in your garage as if nothin' happened, Ted Kazinsky-like. If you think that's normal, then I am certainly glad you don't live anywhere near me. Maybe I should be worried about opening up my mailbox from now on?

Look, it does not take a psychologist to figure out that the way you ended this relationship is a bit, how should I say this nicely... unusual? It also doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that you have some deep-rooted control issues. This is blatantly obvious from your posts where you won't tolerate anything that deviates from your world view. It's always lil'terry's way or no way at all.

And just so you know, I did pass some of your previous posts to a real psychologist and she said that the one thing that stood out was "your desperate desire for control of the variables," as she put it. That was several months ago, by the way, but it's interesting how this control issue keeps bubbling to the surface with you. Your girlfriend did what she did because she was challenging your control. No we don't know what kind of control you exerted over her, but the fact that she got the tat, tells us that she must have felt stifled by something. Since you won't ask her what that was, or you won't share that with us, we can only guess, and that's what we're doing.


if I was your partner of 16 years...

I don't know where you were going with this, but that is getting a little creepy. Kind of the same way you're trying to chum up to Rich and Mr. P. Maybe you're lonely, maybe something more suggestive, I don't know, but let's not even think about these kinds of creepy hypotheticals, shall we?


You have always been a failure at online pshychology. What makes you think you will be success this time?

Oh, I dunno, the fact that I really struck a nerve should clue you into the possibility that maybe I'm not too far off the mark. And I'm not so sure everyone here agrees that I'm so far off, either.

(and that's spelled psychology, lil'terry - check your own spelling before you start jabbing at other people's typos)


When somebody "controls" somebody else, it is absolute in every way.

See, this is where you're being way too black & white about this. Control in a relationship doesn't mean it is absolute in every way. Where do you get this nonsense? Anyone who's been married or in a long-term relationship knows that control can be very subtle, like walking out of the room when the diaper needs to be changed or doing only the easy dishes. Control is seldom absolute in every way, if you ask me. The fact that you are searching for praise from us for not being absolutely controlling in every way, again sounds a bit creepy, lil'terry.


You do not know the extent of my relationship, the condition it was in, or whether there were any other problems. I never mention any of that.

Yes, you've left that wide open for everyone here to speculate on. So why berate us for doing just that?


One issue does not make you rigid. But no issues make you weak and disconnected from your significant other. Do you just let your same person of 16 years walk all over you.

See this is where you really need to be careful. You are so hell-bent on demonstrating that you are not rigid, which only demonstrates that you are so absolutely rigid about the argument. It's kind of ironic, if you think about it, LOL.

Then you have this issue with apparent weakness. You know, there is a direct correlation between the concepts of weakness and control, lil'terry. See, you are so preoccupied with controlling emotions, controlling situations, controlling the direction of conversation. So while you put on a great show telling everyone how tolerant you were with your ex's habits, you are coming off as the very control freak you are trying to convince everyone here that you're not.


I am sure your relationship is not the pinnicle of human interaction.

Let me quote this back to you: "You do not know the extent of my relationship." Moreover, I'm not going to discuss my personal life here - it's none of your damn business. So just back off with the insecurity-borne deflections and let's stay focussed on your messed up situation, shall we?

(...and that's spelled pinnacle, lil'terry.)


Are you taking an oportunity to jab at me because of your contempt of me? ...This is you taking another oportunity to cast your negative opinion about me.

(ahem... that's spelled opportunity, lil'terry.)

Let's review, did my initial post on this thread sound like I was attacking you? I don't think so. I was actually trying to offer some insight, which apparently you can't handle. Again, I care very little about you or your relationship problems, I was trying to be considerate, nothing more. And why are you so insecure, lil'terry? Why are you so afraid someone might be attacking you? If I had a penny for every time I've had to say this to you: grow up, already!


...you are a weak person, very weak. If you have to come over here and attempt to kick me when you think I am down, then you have no game weakling.

You know your concern with weakness really says a lot about your control issues. I wasn't kicking you at all - that would have been petty. As I explained, I was only offering insight.


...and certainly not down enough to see your sorry ass coming and going bro.

Stop looking at my ass! :mad5:

And I am not related to you, either, thank god.


Why can't you mind your own business? Why in the world would you respond to a personal post

Because you laid it out there, lil'terry. If you didn't want people to offer input, then why post? Or was it because you wanted everyone to praise the control you thought you exhibited over your issue? To stroke your ego, so to speak.


Do you really think everyone is as stupid as you are?

I don't know about anyone else's stupidity. I certainly don't consider myself stupid - I don't really ask myself the question.

But you certainly aren't coming off as the sharpest tool in the shed, lil'terry.

And really, I would like to know: why did you start this thread? Can you answer that question for us, lil'terry?

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

No need to shout, lil't. Or should I call you lil'terry? That kind of has a nice ring to it, don't you think lil'terry? I think I will re-christen you to lil'terry. How cute!

You will be known as the lil b!tch, how about that?


Now, if you just don't like the look of tats, then the bigger issue is how you can just end a long-term relationship so exactingly and then go back to mixing your little tunes in your garage as if nothin' happened, Ted Kazinsky-like. If you think that's normal, then I am certainly glad you don't live anywhere near me. Maybe I should be worried about opening up my mailbox from now on?

Why would I want to live where weak knee'd punks live? Maybe I know how to move on, rather than sitting around crying and complaining. I do not dwell on what I cannot change. You on the other hand are probably one of those panty wasted little girly guys that sit and cry endlessly over what was.


Look, it does not take a psychologist to figure out that the way you ended this relationship is a bit, how should I say this nicely... unusual? It also doesn't take a psychologist to figure out that you have some deep-rooted control issues. This is blatantly obvious from your posts where you won't tolerate anything that deviates from your world view. It's always lil'terry's way or no way at all.

Take you little digs and shove them up your ass little boy. People that have control issues have long laundry lists of don'ts, and try to control every faucet of another persons life subtly or forcefully. That is far from the truth, and one issue does not make you a control freak. Go screw yourself, and stop trying to make something out of nothing. I never gave you enough information about my ENTIRE life for you to come to these conclusions. You sure do enjoy making sh!t up don't cha little b!tch?


And just so you know, I did pass some of your previous posts to a real psychologist and she said that the one thing that stood out was "your desperate desire for control of the variables," as she put it.

Right nighliar, sure she did. Lie, lie, lie. You keep telling lies like this, and your fat long nose will end up in Paris.


That was several months ago, by the way, but it's interesting how this control issue keeps bubbling to the surface with you. Your girlfriend did what she did because she was challenging your control. No we don't know what kind of control you exerted over her, but the fact that she got the tat, tells us that she must have felt stifled by something. Since you won't ask her what that was, or you won't share that with us, we can only guess, and that's what we're doing.

So you know exactly why my ex did what she did? Right, you know everything huh?

Its interesting how you can just invent all of these theories with a little more than a scant bit of information. Come on nightliar, you have to have FAR more information than what you see on this board to come to the conclusions that you do. Do you remember how wrong you were about the Bluray debate we had. That was because your information(or lack of it) was born out of complete ignorance, and as I can see, you have done nothing to remedy your ignorance. You have just moved on to a new topic. You are like an annoying neighborhood dog, constantly barking, but too wimpy to even bare his teeth.



I don't know where you were going with this, but that is getting a little creepy. Kind of the same way you're trying to chum up to Rich and Mr. P. Maybe you're lonely, maybe something more suggestive, I don't know, but let's not even think about these kinds of creepy hypotheticals, shall we?

Nobody was more creeped out about writing that than I was. The thought of it is enough to make me sick to my stomach. Thank God its not a reality, and there is no chance of it. There is no way I could stand to be around such a wimpy panty wasted little girly type.



Oh, I dunno, the fact that I really struck a nerve should clue you into the possibility that maybe I'm not too far off the mark. And I'm not so sure everyone here agrees that I'm so far off, either.

Or maybe you were so far off the mark it was laughable. Much like the Bluray players going down on a ship, and all Bluray players price increase because of that. You know so little about my business, so little that it is not even funny. So you THINK you are right, and we all know that thinking is not your strong suit.


(and that's spelled psychology, lil'terry - check your own spelling before you start jabbing at other people's typos)

I do not think anyone spelling is the topic of this thread. You have a terrible problem staying on topic don't you little b!tch?




See, this is where you're being way too black & white about this. Control in a relationship doesn't mean it is absolute in every way. Where do you get this nonsense? Anyone who's been married or in a long-term relationship knows that control can be very subtle, like walking out of the room when the diaper needs to be changed or doing only the easy dishes. Control is seldom absolute in every way, if you ask me. The fact that you are searching for praise from us for not being absolutely controlling in every way, again sounds a bit creepy, lil'terry.

You are probably too stupid to know the difference between asking for an opinion, and looking for praise. How in the hell does one look for praise in this stupid? When someone says they have ONE pet peeve, that is not control. A person with control issues controls everything, subtly or not.

So is asking a person to lower the toilet seat when they are finished an issue of control?
Is telling somebody to turn down the hometheater system IN THEIR OWN HOUSE an issue of control?

I supposed that Sticks example of the music he cannot listen to is a issue of control as well.

Nightliar, your bullsh!t is stinking this joint up.




Yes, you've left that wide open for everyone here to speculate on. So why berate us for doing just that?

Speculation is one thing, Facts are another. You draw conclusions off of fact, not speculation. At least normal folks do. You have made a career out of creating conclusions from speculation, which makes you less than normal. Am I berating you, or just telling you what you really are?




See this is where you really need to be careful. You are so hell-bent on demonstrating that you are not rigid, which only demonstrates that you are so absolutely rigid about the argument. It's kind of ironic, if you think about it, LOL.

This is twisted logic from a twisted mind.


Then you have this issue with apparent weakness. You know, there is a direct correlation between the concepts of weakness and control, lil'terry. See, you are so preoccupied with controlling emotions, controlling situations, controlling the direction of conversation. So while you put on a great show telling everyone how tolerant you were with your ex's habits, you are coming off as the very control freak you are trying to convince everyone here that you're not.

You do not know enough about my life to come to this conclusion. Did you pull this out of your azzhole? Its a wonder you can sit down. One post and you know all about me. Give me a break lil b!tch.




Let me quote this back to you: "You do not know the extent of my relationship." Moreover, I'm not going to discuss my personal life here - it's none of your damn business. So just back off with the insecurity-borne deflections and let's stay focussed on your messed up situation, shall we?

(...and that's spelled pinnacle, lil'terry.)

I do not believe I was analyzing your relationship. I would rather slide down a bannister of razor blades than know anymore about you than I already do. You are a girl in a man's skin, and that is all I want to know of you.




(ahem... that's spelled opportunity, lil'terry.)

Great, the little b!tch can spell. I bet your wife made you learn.


Let's review, did my initial post on this thread sound like I was attacking you? I don't think so. I was actually trying to offer some insight, which apparently you can't handle. Again, I care very little about you or your relationship problems, I was trying to be considerate, nothing more. And why are you so insecure, lil'terry? Why are you so afraid someone might be attacking you? If I had a penny for every time I've had to say this to you: grow up, already!

Some insight? LOL. You are alot like Bush, tell lies and then you actually believe them yourself. If you care very little about my relationship problems, then why are you here posting again?

Trying to be considerate? Your kidding right? You were being an annoying little azzhole, which you excel at.

Your insight was about as helpful as a fat person eating a donut. I do not need your insight. I have lived my life just fine without your stupid tired advise.





You know your concern with weakness really says a lot about your control issues. I wasn't kicking you at all - that would have been petty. As I explained, I was only offering insight.

You are petty. That is why you are back here trying to kick again. Sorry, didn't work last time, and won't work this time. YOu need to mind your own business liar. You are not in a position to pass judgement, give advice, or draw any educated conclusions on anyone situation but your own. You do not know enough, and nobody asked you for anything. You have said what you have to say, now take your sorry azz back to weakville where you came from.




Stop looking at my ass! :mad5:

I can't help it, you are one big ass!


And I am not related to you, either, thank god.

Yes, thank God. If you were, I would never tell anyone. I would be embarrased by the fact that you look like a man, but act like a woman.




Because you laid it out there, lil'terry. If you didn't want people to offer input, then why post? Or was it because you wanted everyone to praise the control you thought you exhibited over your issue? To stroke your ego, so to speak.

I wanted other constructive opinions, not a bunch of uneducated conclusions and analysis.

I guess if you just keep repeating this control ****, pretty soon it will stick huh?. Not a chance ***** boy. Put your hands back in Bruno's back pocket, and walk away




I don't know about anyone else's stupidity. I certainly don't consider myself stupid - I don't really ask myself the question.

You may not consider yourself stupid, but I do.


But you certainly aren't coming off as the sharpest tool in the shed, lil'terry.

Maybe I am not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I am still far sharper than you are on your best day. Sharp enough to see right through this bull****, and know your intentions as they really are.


And really, I would like to know: why did you start this thread? Can you answer that question for us, lil'terry?

If you cannot figure that out by now, then you are by far the dumbest person ever to participate on this forum. I would consider you a hair more retarded than pixie even.

Nightliar; I do not want your advise, your opinion, your conclusions. As wrong as you were about Bluray, I cannot see how your stupid and uneducated opinions and conclusions would be helpful in the least. Take your sorry ass back to your perfect relationship, and you are the most perfect person in the world(that would be fantasy land). If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked your man for it.

[GMichael]

Is THIS what you guys consider a party? Where are the half neck'd ladies? Where's all the beer and wine? Where's the food. And for heaven sakes, where's all the laughter?

Fine! You guys go ahead. Cyber bash each other's heads in. I'm going back to the water cooler! (leaves the room grumbling to himself and kicking chairs as he goes)

[noddin0ff]

Oh, I'll probably burn in hell for this. I feel like the ghost of lex just wafted through the room. Since this thread's already way out of control, I guess I've got little to lose by pushing it over the edge and setting fire to the remains.


You will be known as the lil b!tch, [derogatory remark targeting women]



You on the other hand are probably one of those panty wasted little girly guys that sit and cry endlessly over what was. [derogatory remark targeting women]


There is no way I could stand to be around such a wimpy panty wasted little girly type. [derogatory remark targeting women]


You are a girl in a man's skin, and that is all I want to know of you. [derogatory remark targeting women]



Great, the little b!tch can spell. I bet your wife made you learn. [derogatory remark targeting women]


Yes, thank God. If you were, I would never tell anyone. I would be embarrased by the fact that you look like a man, but act like a woman. [derogatory remark targeting women]

When I brought up 'control', I thought I made it pretty clear that it wasn't about a need to control or even about being particularly controlling. It's just that relationships get set up in ways that can give control to one partner or the other. My wife is happy that I control the finances and the kitchen, I'm happy she controls the laundry. It just happens.
But, one can easily image that a failure to regard one gender as an equal partner would make it more likely that control situations would form more readily. I was already concerned, T, that you described your girlfriend mostly in the same context as your children. Now that you've let lose a stream of gender specific put downs...

You asked what we all thought about terminating your 5-year relationship over tattoos. If it was a good relationship, I think it was a shame.

[nightflier]

I do not want your advise, your opinion, your conclusions. ... I cannot see how your stupid and uneducated opinions and conclusions would be helpful in the least....If I wanted your opinion, I would have asked your man for it.

Asked my man for it? Another innuendo? You know with all the sexist comments and the focus on people's asses, I'm really starting to think you have some gender issues yourself. Been spending a bit too much time "recording" in your closet? Me transparent? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. You're coming undone in a very personal way, and it's really not pretty. You've got issues, real big issues, I'd quit this post if I were you before you really loose control....

And the fact that you posted your very personal business here, makes it everybody's business. If you didn't want my opinions, Nod's opinions, Kex' opinions, Mr. Peabody's opinions, or the opinions of anyone else you don't agree with, then maybe you should be posting this on a counselling website and not here. For the last time, lil'terry: grow up already.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Asked my man for it? Another innuendo?

Nope, a direct comment.


You know with all the sexist comments and the focus on people's asses, I'm really starting to think you have some gender issues yourself.

You are all ass, how can I help but to call you what you are? Look in the mirror boy in a dress, the experience will be very telling on who has gender issues.



Been spending a bit too much time "recording" in your closet? Me transparent? Isn't that the pot calling the kettle black. You're coming undone in a very personal way, and it's really not pretty. You've got issues, real big issues, I'd quit this post if I were you before you really loose control...

You are but a boy in a dress. Go play with barbie or your easy bake oven. You are much better at that than despensing tired old comments, assumptions and conclusions. You didn't touch a nerve, you can't. I do not care a rats ass about you. Now, take your panty wasted ass back to your man, he has needs I am sure. I do not need you, my ex does not need you, and this board doesn't need you either.

You do not know me well enough to gage what my emotions are.


And the fact that you posted your very personal business here, makes it everybody's business. If you didn't want my opinions, Nod's opinions, Kex' opinions, Mr. Peabody's opinions, or the opinions of anyone else you don't agree with, then maybe you should be posting this on a counselling website and not here. For the last time, lil'terry: grow up already.

Everyone elses opinion was welcome. Yours is not. So **** off.I do not need advice or comments from a phony, so let the door hit you nightLIAR.

[ForeverAutumn]

You are but a boy in a dress. Go play with barbie or your easy bake oven.

You say that like there's something wrong with it.

You know, Sir T, I never expect anyone to stay in a relationship that they can't be happy in. You kicked your girlfriend to the curb and if you're a happier man for it then power to you.

There's obviously some history between you and some of the other members of the board that I'm not aware of and I'm not going to get involved in. But I thought that Nightflier's original comments were valid and were friendly advice. Having been with my husband for 18 years I agree with him. You took offense to those comments for whatever reason...okay, fine.

BUT, I am offended by your attack. Your constant comparisons of men to women in such a derogatory manner is offensive. Being sensitive is not a weakness. Being understanding is not a weakness. Nor is wearing a dress.

I would rather spend my life with a man who gives me independance and freedom of expression and will love me for who I am instead of what I look like, than a man who thinks that I should stick around because he pays to get my car fixed or turns the stereo down for me. I am not discounting the consideration that you have shown this woman or the sacrifices that you may feel that you've made for her. I would expect nothing less than consideration and sacrifice from both parties in any relationship.

You made a comment that the tattoos can't give her what you can. Well, I can't say for sure because I don't know either of you, but speaking from a woman's point of view, you may not be giving her all that you think you are. The sad thing is, because you refuse to discuss it with her, you'll never know.

Please don't read this as a personal attack. It is not intended to be. But in the latter half of this thread I am seeing a side to you that I have not seen before. I don't doubt that you are a good person. And I don't doubt that you love your family and even your ex-girlfriend. But we seldom see ourselves as others see us and it might be to your benefit to spend some time thinking about some of the comments made here and internalizing your current situation rather than lay blame on a few tattoos or go on a defensive attack when you are disagreed with (except for Peabody, I'll agree that he started it). This is the internet and we can only learn as much about each other as we allow others to see. But what I'm seeing at the moment isn't pretty. I'm sorry to say.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

You say that like there's something wrong with it.

Not if your a girl. But a boy...


You know, Sir T, I never expect anyone to stay in a relationship that they can't be happy in. You kicked your girlfriend to the curb and if you're a happier man for it then power to you.

I do not know if this is a happy or sad thing. What I do know is that if I cannot keep my word on this, she will never respect a thing that comes out of my mouth. As I have said before, I do not have a long laundry lists of do's and don't, just this one thing. I never told her she could not have anything, I just told her that tat's is a non starter, and I would NEVER date a person with colorful scars on their body. I simply said that tat's are a deal breaker. The fact that she went out and got the deal breaker is her issue to deal with, but I am not going to sit around feeling sorry for myself because she did what she did. Its her decision, and that decision came with consequences like all decisions do.


There's obviously some history between you and some of the other members of the board that I'm not aware of and I'm not going to get involved in. But I thought that Nightflier's original comments were valid and were friendly advice. Having been with my husband for 18 years I agree with him. You took offense to those comments for whatever reason...okay, fine.

First, you do not know our history, and its not pretty. Secondly how can you possibly deliver a friendly comment to somebody you cannot stand? Thirdly he has said all of this crap before in another debate, its rehash from another arguement, and he wants another chance to get a dig. But let's examine what he said.

A. He mentions control as an issue. How do you determine control as being an issue when you have never met either of us, or seen us interact. Even a marriage counselor cannot make that determination with what I posted, and certainly not without speaking to both her and I. Wouldn't you agree?

B. He mentions rigidity. How does anyone even bring that up when I had already stated that I have no other pet peeves but this one. Now if I had a laundry list of peeves, do's and don't does, he has a point. But ONE PET PEEVE makes me rigid? That is rediculous and ludicrous.

C. He makes a claim that I was stifling her, without even hearing what she has to say? Come on FA, you know that is bullcrap.

I am surprised you found anything valid, helpful, or even constructive from that. He is trying to be a online shrink, a shrink with not enough information to come to these kinds of conclusions.


BUT, I am offended by your attack. Your constant comparisons of men to women in such a derogatory manner is offensive. Being sensitive is not a weakness. Being understanding is not a weakness. Nor is wearing a dress.

FA, when I point my comment gun, and shoot directly at the boy in dress, don't fall dead from the bullet. The message was not mean't for you, did not describe you or anything you do. A man being sensitive or understanding is not a weakness. A boy wearing a dress is.....just a little strange.

I listen to women talk about men in a negative way all day long. Women have their habits and ways of thinking (venus), and men have their way as well(mars). While my perceptions are not universal, or apply to every woman, the boy in dress does embody some of the worst things I find in women. The constant nagging and crying, the passive aggressive tendencies, and the occasional trip into non reality as just a few of his strong suits(that being the boy in dress) However, if you were offended, I am sorry, but the message was mean't for the boy in dress, not you.


I would rather spend my life with a man who gives me independance and freedom of expression and will love me for who I am instead of what I look like, than a man who thinks that I should stick around because he pays to get my car fixed or turns the stereo down for me. I am not discounting the consideration that you have shown this woman or the sacrifices that you may feel that you've made for her. I would expect nothing less than consideration and sacrifice from both parties in any relationship.

My question would be would you want the man in your life doing things you find offensive? Would you allow him to pee on the toilet seat and not wipe it off? Would you let him fart around you? Loving a person for who they are does not give them liscense to do the very thing that you find offensive and ugly by the way. Your last statement is word. Just like I have turned down my hometheater at her request, put down the toilet seat when I am finished as she has asked, clean up quickly after myself(she does not like dishes in the sink overnight) IN MY OWN HOUSE to accomodate her, and given her everything she has asked for, then she could have easily forgone that tatoo. That is what I call a mutual accomodation. Relationships are a give and take. No one party can have everything going their way. She has her 50 pet peeves(that I have accomodated) and all I had was one(of which she violated). Now really, who has the control issues?

I would rather spend my life with a woman who would honor my request as I have honored hers. Its called give and take, and no relationship is free of it.


You made a comment that the tattoos can't give her what you can. Well, I can't say for sure because I don't know either of you, but speaking from a woman's point of view, you may not be giving her all that you think you are. The sad thing is, because you refuse to discuss it with her, you'll never know.

FA, if she was not getting all from me that she wanted, she could walk away. We are not married, that is the reality. Nobody is forcing her to stay if her needs were not met, she has the freedom to find whomever does meet her needs at any time. There is no contract, no marriage liscense, no nothing to bind or force her to stay. She has never complained about not getting her needs met, and since we are both communicators, if she wasn't, I sure in the hell would have heard about it( I have heard everything else!). When she does not like something, I hear about it, in both spanish and english, and occasionally at THX reference levels. She is not the bottled up type, that is for sure.


Please don't read this as a personal attack. It is not intended to be. But in the latter half of this thread I am seeing a side to you that I have not seen before. I don't doubt that you are a good person. And I don't doubt that you love your family and even your ex-girlfriend. But we seldom see ourselves as others see us and it might be to your benefit to spend some time thinking about some of the comments made here and internalizing your current situation rather than lay blame on a few tattoos or go on a defensive attack when you are disagreed with (except for Peabody, I'll agree that he started it). This is the internet and we can only learn as much about each other as we allow others to see. But what I'm seeing at the moment isn't pretty. I'm sorry to say.

FA, the same could be said for you when you and Rich get into it right? In your exchanges with him, I have seen a side of you I have never seen as well. Sometimes it doesn't look so pretty to me as well. Do you really think I believe that is all you are as a person, or do you think I have enough intelligence to realize that you and he just do not agree on some subjects, and some of his comments can piss you off? Do you think that because your exchanges with him have been pretty testy that I think you are a bad person? No. Do you really think I can draw any conclusion about what kind of person you are based on your postings here? Hell no, you don't live on this website, and all of the faucets of your personality cannot possibly emerge right here in your words. We need to keep this in perspective. There is 20 or so hours in a day that I am not here(and some days not here at all). I do not interact PERSONALLY with anyone here, so there is no way they are going to know the depth and breathe of who I am, and I would not know the same about you. Shoot, for all we know there could be a rapist amoung us, and we wouldn't even know it right?

You are right, I do not see myself as other folks see me, I see myself alot WORSE than others seemed to see me.

I am sorry you see me as internalizing this situation. There is alot you don't see, that is for sure. There is no need to think about why I do not like tat's, I already know why because I believe in forthought on steadfast issues. I do not like them because they are ugly to me. I do not like them because I think they make people look like trailer trash(thats just my opinion, and we are all entitled to have them). I do not like them because I do not know of anyone that has gotten just one, and stopped there. They end up looking like a canvas to me. She knows this, because I have told her this, and not in a passing comment type of way either. So there is nothing to really think about here, that work has already been done. The communcation has already been made. The person who needs to sit down and give this some thought, is the person that felt that they could so brashly offend me with this profound lack of respect. Its really not about the tatoo, its about respecting somebody's wishes, give and take if you will. If she wanted that tatoo that bad(and she has never made any indication she did), she could have kicked me to the curb, and went and got her tatoo. But do not come to me telling me you have this great surprised for ME, and it turns out to be the very thing I find very ugly and unattractive, and you knew it!

As far as the comments I have presented here, I am sorry I offended you, but I am not going to take them back, because the boy in dress had it coming. We have had 10 pages of debate on one issue, and another several more on another issue where he constantly called me controlling because I made him stay on topic, and not drift all over the place. He said I was rigid because I rely on facts and figures, not my gut, or what I think. This is rehash, and old. And if we debate another issue, he is going to say the same things. He has done this twice already, so its old and tiring. He was angry because I had the benefit of information that he did not have, and he turned out to be wrong on every account. When I talk about the debate subject matter, he makes it a personal analysis on my character, or turns it into a personal evaluation. We have been here before, one time too many actually. So before you turn his intentions into one of those halo over the head moments, you probably need that bit of information to perhaps bring a little balance to your comments. The little boy in dress did not have enough maturity to keep his emotions and negative comments within those past debates. He bought the same ill feelings of getting his butt kicked in past debates to this thread, which was VERY easy for me to see, because he has used the same negative comments whenever we debated. Its like a double sided tape being played in the continous mode.

I am sure you do not want your kitchen or living room to be a trash can at the hands of your husband, just like I do not want the person I am dating to be a trashy billboard in the name of personal expression. I am sure some people love and cherish their tatoo's, I am just not one of them. However, it is her body, and she can do anything(and I mean ANYTHING) she wants to it, but I am not obligated to like it one bit, and should be able to respond as I see fit without being judged as some cruel ogre. I am unsure as to why some women seem to think that their men are a personal trash cans that have to take whatever they throw in it. I am not the trash can type, and I am sure you are not either.

So for the record, we have talked about this, we did it this afternoon because her mom asked me to. She did not get the tatoos because of rebellion, a stifling boyfriend, or because she is controlled. She got the tatoo's because her SINGLE friends convinced her that no matter what I have said in the past, the tatoo were cool, and I was going to accept them eventually even if I got mad initially. If we were talking about anything else, they were right, but my ex should have known better than to listen to a group of folks that do not know me all that well. What she did was impulsive, and she did not think about the ramifications at all, she just moved in the moment. She was not unsatisfied with our relationship at all, she says she was very happy. She allowed her girlfriends to talk her into something she knew I would be pissed about, and now she is sorry she did it. She said she was sorry she listened to them, and was even more sorry that she did not follow her first notion, which was to say she would rather talk to me about it, than get them without first discussing it with me because they are permanent. So just like the little boy in dress did not get one thing right in ten pages of discussion before, and another eight pages on another related issue, he didn't get this one right either. Been here before, outcome the same.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Oh, I'll probably burn in hell for this. I feel like the ghost of lex just wafted through the room. Since this thread's already way out of control, I guess I've got little to lose by pushing it over the edge and setting fire to the remains.

If you burn in hell, I will try and put you out noddin

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman.

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman.
[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or I could be talking about a drag queen. And actually, I was targeting a weak man, and pretty much nailed it!


When I brought up 'control', I thought I made it pretty clear that it wasn't about a need to control or even about being particularly controlling. It's just that relationships get set up in ways that can give control to one partner or the other. My wife is happy that I control the finances and the kitchen, I'm happy she controls the laundry. It just happens.

We are not married, and do not live in the same houshold. I clean my house, manage my own finances and do my own laundry. So no one person has control over the other, and when I was married, my wife controlled everything because I was too busy to. No problem though, she could handle business better than anyone I have ever met in life.


But, one can easily image that a failure to regard one gender as an equal partner would make it more likely that control situations would form more readily. I was already concerned, T, that you described your girlfriend mostly in the same context as your children. Now that you've let lose a stream of gender specific put downs...

Actually my comments were person specific, and are comments that are usually directed at weak men, not women. If you think a b!tch is just a woman, then you have been watching WAY too many rap videos. I b!tch can be a female dog, or a weak or subordinate man.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*****

This isn't the dark ages anymore. That word has transcended beyond any strict difference to women.

No, actually at this point(and at any point) my children are first. They are my first responsiblity and priority until they get on their own. They certainly come before a woman that I am not married to. When I get married again(if I ever do) then my wife becomes my equal(just like my first one was).

Before you paint me as the sexist neaderthal, you are missing some critical pieces in your analysis. My first wife made 80 percent of the decisions. She was in charge of the household money, she ran the business side of my post production facility, help me build the business, and make decisions on what equipment to purchase. She often bought my clothes(at least the stuff she liked to see me in), she did everything because she wanted to, and because she was good at it, and I knew it. In many ways she was smarter and wiser, and I worshipped her. She helped raise my boys, and was great at it until she was killed. I had no problem recognizing that she was just better at many things than I was, and she tackled everything with such joy and vigor. While we looked at each other as equals, I actually raised her up on a high pedestal where she belonged.


You asked what we all thought about terminating your 5-year relationship over tattoos. If it was a good relationship, I think it was a shame.

I actually agree with you. You do not test good relationship with a bad impulsive decision that you knew had serious deterimental consequences. My first wife never did it(and she knew about the tatoo thing as well), and I would have never done it to her. Its called mutual respect, and I think some of you have forgotten about this. You do not wave a red flag in the face of a bull if you do not want it to charge, right? Now that was just an example, and not made to infer anything more than that, okay? LOL

[JSE]

If you burn in hell, I will try and put you out noddin

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman.

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man, not necessarily a woman.
[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or a weak man

[derogatory remark targeting women]

Or I could be talking about a drag queen. And actually, I was targeting a weak man, and pretty much nailed it!



We are not married, and do not live in the same houshold. I clean my house, manage my own finances and do my own laundry. So no one person has control over the other, and when I was married, my wife controlled everything because I was too busy to. No problem though, she could handle business better than anyone I have ever met in life.



Actually my comments were person specific, and are comments that are usually directed at weak men, not women. If you think a b!tch is just a woman, then you have been watching WAY too many rap videos. I b!tch can be a female dog, or a weak or subordinate man.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/*****

This isn't the dark ages anymore. That word has transcended beyond any strict difference to women.

No, actually at this point(and at any point) my children are first. They are my first responsiblity and priority until they get on their own. They certainly come before a woman that I am not married to. When I get married again(if I ever do) then my wife becomes my equal(just like my first one was).

Before you paint me as the sexist neaderthal, you are missing some critical pieces in your analysis. My first wife made 80 percent of the decisions. She was in charge of the household money, she ran the business side of my post production facility, help me build the business, and make decisions on what equipment to purchase. She often bought my clothes(at least the stuff she liked to see me in), she did everything because she wanted to, and because she was good at it, and I knew it. In many ways she was smarter and wiser, and I worshipped her. She helped raise my boys, and was great at it until she was killed. I had no problem recognizing that she was just better at many things than I was, and she tackled everything with such joy and vigor. While we looked at each other as equals, I actually raised her up on a high pedestal where she belonged.



I actually agree with you. You do not test good relationship with a bad impulsive decision that you knew had serious deterimental consequences. My first wife never did it(and she knew about the tatoo thing as well), and I would have never done it to her. Its called mutual respect, and I think some of you have forgotten about this. You do not wave a red flag in the face of a bull if you do not want it to charge, right? Now that was just an example, and not made to infer anything more than that, okay? LOL


T, Nightflier........

What did I tell you guys about long-arse post! :incazzato: :hand:

Don't make me eat mexican!

[ForeverAutumn]

Sir T, thank you for taking the time to post such a lengthy response to me and to Noddinoff. My gut feeling was telling me to stay out of this and I should have listened to my gut.

As said before I don’t know you or anything about you, and perhaps what you write is not coming off well, but you were sounding like someone who has some control issues. Rightly or wrongly that’s just how it sounded.

The unfortunate thing about the internet and email is that everything is two dimensional. That third dimension is so important when it comes to getting to really know people.

After your last two posts, you have shed more light on yourself and begun to add to that third dimension. I apologize if I was out of line but your comments to Nightflier really did rub me the wrong way…call it my pet peeve. I should really learn to just mind my own business.

I’m glad that you and your ex were able to talk. It’s a shame that she let her friends talk her into something that she knew was a mistake and is having to pay such a high price.

[bobsticks]

She often bought my clothes(at least the stuff she liked to see me in), she did everything because she wanted to, and because she was good at it, and I knew it. In many ways she was smarter and wiser, and I worshipped her. She helped raise my boys, and was great at it until she was killed. I had no problem recognizing that she was just better at many things than I was, and she tackled everything with such joy and vigor.

That is the serious stuff of love mang. Jah T., that's the stuff we were talking about...passion...it is infectious. It sounds like you're coming to the point of some closure and that maybe healthy. Hopefully, after five years y'all can remain civil but in any case it should be instructional as to the qualities that it takes to move T.'s world and what just makes days pass.

Peace bruh

[bobsticks]

A central theme being played out on these posts, besides Terence's journey, is the mirage of familiarity which we assume with one another. True enough we laugh and lament, listen and learn, and frolic in the diversity of our common hobby.

But with all that we need a foundation, a rock. Too often are heard protests of discontent and disenfranchisement:


The unfortunate thing about the internet and email is that everything is two dimensional. That third dimension is so important when it comes to getting to really know people.


As said before I don’t know you or anything about you, and perhaps what you write is not coming off well,...


Before you paint me as the sexist neaderthal, you are missing some critical pieces in your analysis.


First, you do not know our history, and its not pretty.

What we need family is something solid and hard as steel...and that is me, for if there is one thing you can count on it's that I am exactly as shallow as I seem on the Net


Peace my bald, brown brudda and keep ya chin up

[Mr Peabody]

As I go back and read again and in light of ST's additional info I have another theory. T turns the stereo down, does his dishes, lowers his lid, he only has one hard liner, perhaps it's the opposite of what we first concluded, perhaps she thought because he caved on all other issues the tats would eventually blow over as well. Maybe it's healthy to have some ground of our own or stand some ground of our own. Some have said "give and take", maybe there must be a balance not just give. This is also a gradual and growing thing. I just celebrated with my wife our 24th anniversary, when I look back at how I was when we first met and my attitude now I wonder how we ever made it. I've definitely softened on some things and learned some tolerance. I think if two people are committed to making a relationship work you eventually find each others boundaries. One piece of advice I can give anyone looking to begin a relationship, YOU AIN'T GOING TO CHANGE YOUR MATE. First mistake is accepting something that you think you will later change. My wife is messy, drives me crazy. When I met her I could not see the top of her dresser, guess what, I still can't. When I first met my wife I listened to loud music, guess what, I still do. I try to be sensible about it and not crank it up at 10:00 on a school night, she, sometimes, leaves my space alone so it remains neat :) And, even after all these years there are still bumps in the road.

I will tell you one thing else, marriage is a partnership but if there is a tie there can only be one "head of the house". I and my wife believe this is the man. This is the way it is to be according to the Bible as well as man is to put his wife on a pedestal, love her and cherish her. Blast away at me if you will but any partnership where the partners are doing their own thing and both fighting for power will not be a partnership long.

I also hold the opinion of a boy wearing a dress is strange if he is serious about it,.If he wants to bake or play with girls toys, vice versa as well, that's fine, we all need to be well rounded.

I also find it interesting that T's girlfriend ended up with 2 tats. Most people start with one and work up, so did she get both at the same time or did she actually have one or both for a while before showing? I've also seen fresh tats and they aren't so pretty at first, they have to go through a healing process, even some scabbing, then they settle into the, hopefully, intended display. So if these looked fine at the time of unveiling she had them a while.

I hope this 3rd dimension building isn't going to take us to a place of no return.

[noddin0ff]

Cool. Now on to the next great adventure.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Sir T, thank you for taking the time to post such a lengthy response to me and to Noddinoff. My gut feeling was telling me to stay out of this and I should have listened to my gut.

I for one am glad you didn't listen to your gut. Your opinion has been very valueable, and do not think for a moment I didn't pay attention. I asked, you answered.


As said before I don’t know you or anything about you, and perhaps what you write is not coming off well, but you were sounding like someone who has some control issues. Rightly or wrongly that’s just how it sounded.

I think its amazing how we interpret things we read. I guess it all depends on the filters one uses when they are reading a post.


The unfortunate thing about the internet and email is that everything is two dimensional. That third dimension is so important when it comes to getting to really know people.

Yes the third deminsion is important. However daily exposure to a person, even online can tell you alot about a person. You and I do not get a chance to interact online very much, so you probably do not have a clue about certain aspects of my online personality. Sticks, Wooch more so than anyone here, Rich, GM, LJ, JSE are all people I interact with just about every day. If I was the troll that some of us thought I was, they would probably known about it long before anyone else here. I am really just an easy going guy with very sharp debating teeth.


After your last two posts, you have shed more light on yourself and begun to add to that third dimension. I apologize if I was out of line but your comments to Nightflier really did rub me the wrong way…call it my pet peeve. I should really learn to just mind my own business.

See, you have a pet peeve! Actually if you were offended, I would want to know about it. I do not want to offend anyone other than the person my comments were directed at. When I ask your opinion, I do not want you to mind your own business, I would like your opnion.


I’m glad that you and your ex were able to talk. It’s a shame that she let her friends talk her into something that she knew was a mistake and is having to pay such a high price.

Based on her best friend account, these "friends" are co-workers who every time she gets around them, finds herself in a snag. She has told her that these women are not good for her, and to not listen to a bunch of single women when it comes to relationships. I guess she will listen now, at least I hope she will. Things may not be over between her and I, but they will not be easily smoothed over either.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Things may not be over between her and I, but they will not be easily smoothed over either.
RATS. I was about to ask for her phone number. :biggrin5:

[nightflier]

...we have talked about this, we did it this afternoon because her mom asked me to. She did not get the tatoos because of rebellion, a stifling boyfriend, or because she is controlled. She got the tatoo's because her SINGLE friends convinced her that no matter what I have said in the past, the tatoo were cool, and I was going to accept them eventually even if I got mad initially. If we were talking about anything else, they were right, but my ex should have known better than to listen to a group of folks that do not know me all that well. What she did was impulsive, and she did not think about the ramifications at all, she just moved in the moment. She was not unsatisfied with our relationship at all, she says she was very happy. She allowed her girlfriends to talk her into something she knew I would be pissed about, and now she is sorry she did it. She said she was sorry she listened to them, and was even more sorry that she did not follow her first notion, which was to say she would rather talk to me about it, than get them without first discussing it with me because they are permanent. So just like the little boy in dress did not get one thing right in ten pages of discussion before, and another eight pages on another related issue, he didn't get this one right either. Been here before, outcome the same.

Nice of you to add that little bit of info. We didn't know that and so we were left to speculate from the very scant info you provided initially.

For the record, you did make extremely sexist comments and sexually suggestive insults, the same ones you made in previous threads. So just because everyone else here thinks you're entitled to put that halo over your head, I say you don't. Your comments to me were uncalled for. I did not insult you or make derogatory remarks, but you let loose once again.

And just so that there's no misunderstanding, the previous heated discussions we had were last year (before x-mas) about HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray. I made the case that despite Blu-Ray's increasing numbers, the die had not yet been cast and that a number of factors could affect the outcome. Well, we all know what happened with HD-DVD, but none of this was certain then. lil'terry likes to point out the "ship going down in the ocean" scenario, so I'll save him the trouble of repeating it here, since he loves to rub that one in and embellish on it. Basically my argument was that if a ship carrying a critical part for a Blu-Ray player were to meet some unfortunate end, that it could affect prices of said Blu-Ray player. This had happened with computer parts in the past and seems to be the case with some chips needed for pre/pros as we speak (see my Outlaw Audio post). Mind you I didn't say that this would be conclusive, only that it could affect prices, but lil'terry ran with his exaggerations and well, the discussion deteriorated further.

He also likes to call me a liar, although I have never lied. I have made a few mistakes in my statements, yes, but I always fessed up to them. The one he likes to parade for everyone is where he won't believe that I spoke to Classe about their decision to go to Blu-Ray or HD-DVD. Well, I actually spoke to them on the phone about it, copied emails verbatim in my posts, and even referred him to the very sales rep I spoke with. But none of that was good enough and so he still calls me a liar.

The reason I bring this up is because this speaks volumes about his controlling nature. He absolutely can't stand being challenged. He believes himself to be the foremost authority on a number of subjects and anyone else is, well, of a lesser sort. In all his 2800+ posts, some of them desperately verbose and self-serving, there is no mention of ever being wrong. He says there is one somewhere, but I have yet to see it. Even if there is one, that's still quite a record.

So I dared challenge him on several threads, and well, I have felt first hand the wrath of lil'terry. The fact that I won't cower down and take it like so many others he has beaten down, probably frustrates him more than anything else. I have now pointed out on several occasions that he was condescending, arrogant, controlling, and sexist. It was also the case that in each of the discussions, he was the one who first started with the repulsive attacks and insults. My response then, and I maintain it now, is that lil'terry was overcompensating for some insecurities, hence the reason that I stopped referring to him as "Sir Terrence the Terrible" and just called him lil't, without caps. Yes, it's a bit petty, but compared to the insults he threw at me and continues to litter his posts with, I see no reason to change that, well not beyond calling him lil'terry.

I hope that we've all seen a new side of lil'terry in the last few posts here. I do believe that his comments are indicative of some serious relationship and sexuality issues he is dealing with, or perhaps avoiding. One doesn't need to be a psychologist to see that. That he is no longer in a relationship is probably a blessing for all involved.

And just so that we're clear, I don't wear dresses, I am happily married with children, and I don't really feel the need to compensate for any inadequacies in my life. So I don't insult people unless it is warranted. In this thread, I had no intension of insulting the OP. I was only offering constructive input from what I could determine the situation to be after reading the posts. If that's in doubt, please go back and read my initial post. Finally, if lil'terry only wanted input from "some people" then maybe this is not the forum for telling us about his relationship problems - there are plenty of other sites for that.

F.A., what you read in his posts has been seen elsewhere, and I haven't been the only one to be targeted with it, not by a long shot.

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

Nice of you to add that little bit of info. We didn't know that and so we were left to speculate from the very scant info you provided initially.

And you took this as an opportunity to take a dig. You are a weak coward little boy in dress. You are also terribly predictable. I knew you just wasn't going to walk away from this, but you would come back like a coward and continue to throw stones and play victim.


For the record, you did make extremely sexist comments and sexually suggestive insults, the same ones you made in previous threads. So just because everyone else here thinks you're entitled to put that halo over your head, I say you don't. Your comments to me were uncalled for. I did not insult you or make derogatory remarks, but you let loose once again.

You are full of **** little boy in dress. Your intentions were transparent from the start. See this is that weak ass passive/aggressive **** that absolutely gets on my nerves. "Oh, I was just a innocent victim just trying to give my opinion", when you are a little coward in a dress trying to get digs wherever you can. The fact that you didn't just walk away from this, and came back for more is perfect evidence of this.


And just so that there's no misunderstanding, the previous heated discussions we had were last year (before x-mas) about HD-DVD vs. Blu-Ray. I made the case that despite Blu-Ray's increasing numbers, the die had not yet been cast and that a number of factors could affect the outcome. Well, we all know what happened with HD-DVD, but none of this was certain then. lil'terry likes to point out the "ship going down in the ocean" scenario, so I'll save him the trouble of repeating it here, since he loves to rub that one in and embellish on it. Basically my argument was that if a ship carrying a critical part for a Blu-Ray player were to meet some unfortunate end, that it could affect prices of said Blu-Ray player. This had happened with computer parts in the past and seems to be the case with some chips needed for pre/pros as we speak (see my Outlaw Audio post). Mind you I didn't say that this would be conclusive, only that it could affect prices, but lil'terry ran with his exaggerations and well, the discussion deteriorated further.

Blah, blah, blah. In the end you were completely wrong on every count. Ten pages of your ignorant crap, and not a single thing bore out in reality. This is why you need to stop posting, and start learning. You are a empty wagon on a bumpy road, you make alot of noise, but don't carry much knowledge.

It wasn't just the ship going down in the sea. It was the use of acoustical foam to balance your speakers, your rediculous claim that you had a choice to pass DSD or not on your player(which is a lie and you know it), and your lousy and lame explaination of why you use the cheap ass ICBM for bass management when the digital bass management in the player would have done the task. Its the claim that there is tons of musical information below 40hz with acoustical instruments(which there is not), and your expertise on the need for the LFE channel in music application(which it is not needed at all). You made so many outrageous, uneducated claims and comments, and when evidence was given that disputes what you claim, you just ignored it, spun it or attempted to deny what you originally meant. I call that a greasy lying boy in a dress.


He also likes to call me a liar, although I have never lied. I have made a few mistakes in my statements, yes, but I always fessed up to them. The one he likes to parade for everyone is where he won't believe that I spoke to Classe about their decision to go to Blu-Ray or HD-DVD. Well, I actually spoke to them on the phone about it, copied emails verbatim in my posts, and even referred him to the very sales rep I spoke with. But none of that was good enough and so he still calls me a liar.

Oh, goin Hillary on me now? You tell a blatant lie, and then say I "mispoke". So now your "few mistakes" are the new lie. First you said you had a friend that was a huge classe fan that worked in customer service that made the comment, then it was a sales rep that made the comment, then you spoke on the phone, and that was where the comment was made, then it was emails. When you lie this much, and cannot get your story straight, then your made up copies of the emails are just as suspect as the original lie you told. De-Nile is an awful long river boy in dress. You keep telling these kinds of lies, and you will never make it to the Mediterranean Sea before drowning in your own bull. You are much like G. Bush. You tell lies, and then immerse yourself so deeply in them, you actually believe them yourself. Your pants are smokin man, flames goin everywhere.


The reason I bring this up is because this speaks volumes about his controlling nature. He absolutely can't stand being challenged. He believes himself to be the foremost authority on a number of subjects and anyone else is, well, of a lesser sort. In all his 2800+ posts, some of them desperately verbose and self-serving, there is no mention of ever being wrong. He says there is one somewhere, but I have yet to see it. Even if there is one, that's still quite a record.

So you have read every one of my 2800+ and came to the conclusion that they were verbose and self serving? Either you are the biggest liar of all time, or you are a stalker. Which is it, nightLIAR, or nightSTALKER? I do not argue or debate issues I do not know about. When I do argue and debate, you can bet your best dress that I know exactly what I am talking about. I proved you wrong didn't I. Warner did go bluray just when I said they would and for the reasons I said they would, and downloading is in bluray rear view mirror just like I said it would be. In all of your lies and spin, you didn't get a single thing correct. That was because your conclusions were completely uneducated.

I have been actively and dailey participating on this board since 1996. So if you have read only 2800 posts(which is a huge lie), you still have alot of ground to cover. Woochifer can easily verify this. When Richard Greene was here(sniff) he often corrected me when I was wrong, and I openly admitted it. So this is another case of your half assed analysis falling short.


So I dared challenge him on several threads, and well, I have felt first hand the wrath of lil'terry. The fact that I won't cower down and take it like so many others he has beaten down, probably frustrates him more than anything else. I have now pointed out on several occasions that he was condescending, arrogant, controlling, and sexist. It was also the case that in each of the discussions, he was the one who first started with the repulsive attacks and insults. My response then, and I maintain it now, is that lil'terry was overcompensating for some insecurities, hence the reason that I stopped referring to him as "Sir Terrence the Terrible" and just called him lil't, without caps. Yes, it's a bit petty, but compared to the insults he threw at me and continues to litter his posts with, I see no reason to change that, well not beyond calling him lil'terry.

Wash rinse recycle, wash rinse recycle. That is all this is boy in a dress. You are a poor debater, a crybaby, a whiner, and a complainer. You don't know anything about audio or video, but you love to pretend you do. What you don't like about me is that I uncovered you, and showed that you do not know as much about these things as you like to think, and like others to think as well. You are merely a boy in a dress....a really dumb one at that.


I hope that we've all seen a new side of lil'terry in the last few posts here. I do believe that his comments are indicative of some serious relationship and sexuality issues he is dealing with, or perhaps avoiding. One doesn't need to be a psychologist to see that. That he is no longer in a relationship is probably a blessing for all involved.

You are like a broken record. The same old crap over and over again. In spite of the fact that my ex took responsibility for what she did, you are still attempting to make this about me. You are once again ignoring the facts presented just so you can advance your pitiful agenda. You are a petty little boy in a dress. WHO CARES WHAT YOU BELIEVE, and why would anyone believe a boy in a dress?


And just so that we're clear, I don't wear dresses, I am happily married with children, and I don't really feel the need to compensate for any inadequacies in my life. So I don't insult people unless it is warranted. In this thread, I had no intension of insulting the OP. I was only offering constructive input from what I could determine the situation to be after reading the posts. If that's in doubt, please go back and read my initial post. Finally, if lil'terry only wanted input from "some people" then maybe this is not the forum for telling us about his relationship problems - there are plenty of other sites for that.

You wear dresses alright. Even cross dressers can be married boy in dress.

Once again you are here telling more lies. You came to this thread with the very intention on insulting me. You still have not answer my question. Why come and give your opinion on a personal thing about a person you so completely dislike? I know why, because you wanted another chance to spew your bull**** over and over again. You are so stupid that you cannot see this, and you are back here doing the same thing you did in previous post. You just cannot let things go, especially after you have been kicked around with facts, and proven to be the uneducated fool you really are. You are so predictable boy in a dress. You do not like anyone making you look bad, or trying to destroy the illusion of knowledge that you have tried to create here, so you just come back over and over again with this pathetic diatribe over and over again. Its quite pitiful boy in dress.


F.A., what you read in his posts has been seen elsewhere, and I haven't been the only one to be targeted with it, not by a long shot.

Looking for a little sympathy little pathetic boy in dress? Attack, cry. Attack, cry. Attack, victim. Insult, now victim. Passive/aggressive on steroids.

Just watch, he'll be back again. Even though his crackpot online analysis has already been proven wrong, he'll be back to advance his claims of sexism, control, and arrogance. Its a deflection tool to hide the fact that he is merely a boy in a dress who believes his own press(there is a tune in there somewhere!). Anyone here wanna bet on this?

[nightflier]

You just cannot let things go

I'm letting this one go. Good riddance.

And when you're 75, single, alone, sitting in your rocking chair in a back corner at the old-folks home, surrounded by your John Curl customized Onkyo amps, your fancy Sony switcher, and a mountain of obsolete Blu-Ray movies, you'll say to yourself: Gee, maybe I am jerk after all.... 'Guess he was right about that one! :confused:

[Sir Terrence the Terrible]

I'm letting this one go. Good riddance.

And when you're 75, single, alone, sitting in your rocking chair in a back corner at the old-folks home, surrounded by your John Curl customized Onkyo amps, your fancy Sony switcher, and a mountain of obsolete Blu-Ray movies, you'll say to yourself: Gee, maybe I am jerk after all.... 'Guess he was right about that one! :confused:

blah blah blah blahBLAH. This could happen to you, life forever is not guarantee to your partner of 16 years. She could die tomorrow dealing with your passive/aggressive tendencies. Then you would be a 75 y/o idiot trying to balance your cheap audio system with acoustical foam, and wondering why your HQV chip isn't communicating with another HQV chip via HDMI. LOLOL

See just how predictable you are? Just like I said, it is impossible for you to let things go, especially when you are made to look really bad(which ain't all that difficult). Now who is the sick one?

Little boy in dress, you do not know what my life will look like at 75 y/o. But maybe at 75 y/o you'll take a nice look at yourself and realize that you are but a boy in a dress......a real old boy. LOL

[Auricauricle]

Ya know, I always wondered what the feedback destroyer did....(LOL)

You're right: there are a lot of armchair psychologists out there, and they do like to dish it out....Rightly or wrongly, if you are going to walk in and offer something up to the gods, you'll going to get s__t on or get a rainbow....Who can say? Take it all with a pich of salt and make up your own mind. As a wise friend once said: "Opinions are like a__holes: everyone has one and they all stink" (ahem!). Or, more eloquently, its like Buddha said, "Be ye lamps unto yourselves". It's your decision to make...

Just one more nail, as long as I am tapping: psychology is, like other enterprises devoted to understanding our species, given to fairly elaborate pontification and rumination. As a student of the stuff, I would say that we humans take a pretty high-minded view of our ourselves and forget, now and then, where we come from. I like to think that everything I learned about human nature came from watching Marlin Perkins and Mutual of Omaha's "Wild Kingdom". That said, if you want to find out what's going on, then you might do well by just thinking about the basics.

Hope all goes well. If you're into reconciling, this might be a good time to let a few cats out of the bag and talk. Somehow, I get the sense that things have been mighty quiet around the homestead, Buckaroo....