Suckiest bands that made it big...sort of.

[Swish]

I was cursed with hearing a lame song on a TV commercial and having it stick in my head, so I thought I would take some time out and vent on RR about it.

The song was one of the many lame hits that was put out by Air Supply. I don't even know the actual name, but everyone knows the lyrics...'making love out of nothing at all'. And that piece 'o crap is stuck in my head!

So I was thinking maybe they were the lamest band to ever make it big with such classic nonsense as Lost In Love, All Out Of Love, Every Woman In The World, Here I Am (Just When I Thought I Was Over You), and Even The Nights Are Better.

However, the Peter Cetera-era Chicago was really bad with such classic garbage as Baby What a Big Surprise, Hard to Say I'm Sorry, Love Me Tomorrow, Hard Habit to Break, You're The Inspiration (was a worse song ever recorded?), Will You Still Love Me?, and I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love. What a gag fest!

I could pick on the Eagles, but, even though they suck, that aren't nearly as far down the barrel as those two examples. And while Lover Boy is an easy choice, they never made it all that big, at least not on the scale of the two above.

So, now that my spleen has been emptied of its bile, anyone else have any contributions for this?

Swish - feeling much better now

[bobsticks]

I feel this way about modern R&B but recognize that this is a pretty wide generalization.

A currrent band that currently sucks smalltime but will be pushed to suck bigtime is The Plain White Tees. Smart money from Vegas says that they will suck more prolifically and much more voraciously than any others in 2008. You heard it here first.

I think there was a very definite point in time at which the record companies stopped trying to create sucky big acts and concentrated on many more sucky smalltime acts, which allowed the record companies both the opportunity to screw the listener and the ability to not really pay any artists much for follow-up albums. This brought us one-hit-suck-wonders like Savage Garden and their slightly less femmey alter-egos Roxette.

Maybe I'm being harsh and maybe not all will agree with these thoughts but surely we can all come together in recognition of the last of the bigtime suckacts, Poison, who carried their sucky brand of sissified hair-rock through a de-escalating decade or two of stadium dates degenerating into virtual soliloquoys at venues like Jack inYer Box Metal Haven.

[johnny p]

I don't want to step on anyone's toes.... b/c my poly-ethnic-slamgrass tastes are not accepted by the masses, so I'm sure others like what I consider "crap" (like modern R&B, Country/Western, etc)

[Swish]

I don't want to step on anyone's toes.... b/c my poly-ethnic-slamgrass tastes are not accepted by the masses, so I'm sure others like what I consider "crap" (like modern R&B, Country/Western, etc)

We kind of enjoy that thing here at RR. Makes for some rousing conversation. Yes, I think a lot of modern R & B, rap and modern country is worthless, but not all. If you want to name a particular band that fits your view of 'suckiest', go for it. I'm sure a few will rip me a new one for some of the things I typed, but I don't really give a rat's rump.

Swish

[SlumpBuster]

Yeah, I got some suckjob artists that alot of people will disagree with and honestly I'm not trying just to be contrarian :

Elton John - 40 year career and one good song (Tiny Dancer - is that the name?) Proof of suckitude exists in Benny and the Jets (God that song never ends "B-b-b-b-ennie"), Crocidile Rock (WTF!), and Candle in the Wind (Biggest selling sucky single of all time).

Paul McCartney - Just an embarrassment. I've never liked the Beatles (save Ringo's and George's solo stuff), I just don't get what all the fuss is about over Lennon-McCartney. McCartney always reminds of some douchy friend of my dad that thinks he's hip by saying "Man" all the time and being open about always holding a little weed. Band On the Run is like nails on a blackboard to me. The whole Wings thing just seems ill concieved. I wonder if Linda's musician's union card said "Tambourine" under "Instrument"?

Led Zepplin - Yes, every year a new crop of 12 year old boys discover Zep and think "****, where have I been?!" And I can't deny having "gotten the Led out" on a few occasions. But, enough already. We get it. You found a crate of blues records, so what? Robert Plant can't sing. The best example is admittedly from his solo work, but the point still is made: That crappy suckfest "Lighten up baby I'm in love with you" song from the 80s. Come on now, if that came up in the Ipod rotation, you know you'd skip it.

[SlumpBuster]

The song was one of the many lame hits that was put out by Air Supply. I don't even know the actual name, but everyone knows the lyrics...'making love out of nothing at all'. And that piece 'o crap is stuck in my head!


I went to a bit of a party college during the "Ironic 90s" and on more than a few occassions alcohol fueled sing-a-longs would erupt at parties. Popular songs included Pearl Jam's Alive, Garth's Friends in Low Places, Margaritaville, and yes.... Air Supply's "making love out of nothing at all." I don't know the name either, but good stuff. :D

[Mr Peabody]

The two that came to mind to me and I don't mind saying now that you all have named some formitable artists are Asia and The Pretenders. Sorry I can't name any songs because i turn the station when they come on.

[PeruvianSkies]

Yeah, I got some suckjob artists that alot of people will disagree with and honestly I'm not trying just to be contrarian :

Elton John - 40 year career and one good song (Tiny Dancer - is that the name?) Proof of suckitude exists in Benny and the Jets (God that song never ends "B-b-b-b-ennie"), Crocidile Rock (WTF!), and Candle in the Wind (Biggest selling sucky single of all time).

Paul McCartney - Just an embarrassment. I've never liked the Beatles (save Ringo's and George's solo stuff), I just don't get what all the fuss is about over Lennon-McCartney. McCartney always reminds of some douchy friend of my dad that thinks he's hip by saying "Man" all the time and being open about always holding a little weed. Band On the Run is like nails on a blackboard to me. The whole Wings thing just seems ill concieved. I wonder if Linda's musician's union card said "Tambourine" under "Instrument"?

Led Zepplin - Yes, every year a new crop of 12 year old boys discover Zep and think "****, where have I been?!" And I can't deny having "gotten the Led out" on a few occasions. But, enough already. We get it. You found a crate of blues records, so what? Robert Plant can't sing. The best example is admittedly from his solo work, but the point still is made: That crappy suckfest "Lighten up baby I'm in love with you" song from the 80s. Come on now, if that came up in the Ipod rotation, you know you'd skip it.

YOU ARE CRAZY!!!!

With regards to Elton John you need to venture into his less known and worn out songs, like CURTAINS or FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND perhaps.

With regards to Led Zeppelin the same applies, I am not a huge fan of their popular songs, but I love stranger songs like BRON YR STOMP or GALLOWS POLE, and even TRAMPLED UNDERFOOT.

[BradH]

Aerosmith. Elder statesmen of rock my @ss. That just shows you get respect if you hang in there and suck long enough. They were crappy and boring onstage even in their heyday. One time was enough for me in 1976. I had friends who were hardcore fans that saw them 4 or 5 times and then stopped because they sucked everytime. Yeah, Asia sucked but they were competent at playing their sucky music while Aerosmith was a studio band who couldn't get it up onstage. Throw in the whole "you be Keith and I'll be Mick" junior-high air guitar mentality of that group and you've got originality that ranks up there with Ann & Nancy posturing to Zeppelin in front of a full-length mirror - which they used to do. (I know, everybody has to start somewhere but Heart always sounded to me like they were still in the burbs with a brazillion other corporate 70's acts.) I don't usually go negative on this board, mainly because I despised Lester Bangs. Plus, I figure what the hell, at least crappy bands who are successful are obviously fullfilling a need for somebody and at least they're doing it whereas I am not. I hold my ire for the crap bands, not their fans. (Except maybe for Van Helsing. What were you guys thinking??) But what irks me about Aerosmith is how the abundantly lipped one is turned to whenever something "authoritative" needs to be said about rock 'n' roll because, you know, they're Classic Rawk. This is a scam, people. It's like that Who documentary where they kept turning to Bryan Adams for his opinion. Exqueeze me? Looks like somebody's got a good agent with marketing skills. And that's what it was always about with Aerosmith. Weird though, I still think "Last Child" sounds awesome. Maybe they shoulda stuck with the funk.

Okay, Swish, there's my vent. Maybe it's crazy but that one guy said Plant couldn't sing.

Holler if you need more, I'm gonna go watch Avatar.

[Swish]

Aerosmith. Elder statesmen of rock my @ss. That just shows you get respect if you hang in there and suck long enough. They were crappy and boring onstage even in their heyday. One time was enough for me in 1976. I had friends who were hardcore fans that saw them 4 or 5 times and then stopped because they sucked everytime. Yeah, Asia sucked but they were competent at playing their sucky music while Aerosmith was a studio band who couldn't get it up onstage. Throw in the whole "you be Keith and I'll be Mick" junior-high air guitar mentality of that group and you've got originality that ranks up there with Ann & Nancy posturing to Zeppelin in front of a full-length mirror - which they used to do. (I know, everybody has to start somewhere but Heart always sounded to me like they were still in the burbs with a brazillion other corporate 70's acts.) I don't usually go negative on this board, mainly because I despised Lester Bangs. Plus, I figure what the hell, at least crappy bands who are successful are obviously fullfilling a need for somebody and at least they're doing it whereas I am not. I hold my ire for the crap bands, not their fans. (Except maybe for Van Helsing. What were you guys thinking??) But what irks me about Aerosmith is how the abundantly lipped one is turned to whenever something "authoritative" needs to be said about rock 'n' roll because, you know, they're Classic Rawk. This is a scam, people. It's like that Who documentary where they kept turning to Bryan Adams for his opinion. Exqueeze me? Looks like somebody's got a good agent with marketing skills. And that's what it was always about with Aerosmith. Weird though, I still think "Last Child" sounds awesome. Maybe they shoulda stuck with the funk.

Okay, Swish, there's my vent. Maybe it's crazy but that one guy said Plant couldn't sing.

Holler if you need more, I'm gonna go watch Avatar.

...possibly better than average with a couple decent tunes, but the last couple decades are just el-stinko. And Bryan Adams? How could I leave him off the list. If I hear his pathetic "Summer of 69" one more time, I may have to hunt him down and beat the snot out of him.

Swish

[SlumpBuster]

I don't usually go negative on this board, mainly because I despised Lester Bangs.

That made me laugh out loud. Too bad... negative suits you. That was good.


Okay, Swish, there's my vent. Maybe it's crazy but that one guy said Plant couldn't sing.

Sure, I'm being a little harsh on Plant. Yes, technically Plant can sing. Good range, nice pitch, great voice control. But does he have to sound so bad while doing it? :D And as I've pointed out before, my complete Juice Newton catalogue makes my opinion in these matters always a little suspect.

Here's a goofy photo of Plant...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/fb/Plantandfan2007.jpg

[Swish]

Yeah, I got some suckjob artists that alot of people will disagree with and honestly I'm not trying just to be contrarian :

Elton John - 40 year career and one good song (Tiny Dancer - is that the name?) Proof of suckitude exists in Benny and the Jets (God that song never ends "B-b-b-b-ennie"), Crocidile Rock (WTF!), and Candle in the Wind (Biggest selling sucky single of all time).

Paul McCartney - Just an embarrassment. I've never liked the Beatles (save Ringo's and George's solo stuff), I just don't get what all the fuss is about over Lennon-McCartney. McCartney always reminds of some douchy friend of my dad that thinks he's hip by saying "Man" all the time and being open about always holding a little weed. Band On the Run is like nails on a blackboard to me. The whole Wings thing just seems ill concieved. I wonder if Linda's musician's union card said "Tambourine" under "Instrument"?

Led Zepplin - Yes, every year a new crop of 12 year old boys discover Zep and think "****, where have I been?!" And I can't deny having "gotten the Led out" on a few occasions. But, enough already. We get it. You found a crate of blues records, so what? Robert Plant can't sing. The best example is admittedly from his solo work, but the point still is made: That crappy suckfest "Lighten up baby I'm in love with you" song from the 80s. Come on now, if that came up in the Ipod rotation, you know you'd skip it.

...although much of it gets little air play so you may not be familiar. Madman Across the Water also had Levon, Razor Face and the title track, all very good songs, Honky Chateau from 1972 was decent with Mona Lisas and Mad Hatters, and my favorite, Tumbleweed Connection that was released in January of 1971, with Come Down in Time, My Father's Gun, Country Comfort, and Burn Down the Mission. This was all before he started doing the really goofy stage antics and so forth, and I never gave a rat's arse for him after that.

As for Paul McCartney, I wasn't much of a fan of his solo work, and some of it was rather embarrassing if you ask me; 'Someone's Knockin' at the Door', 'Ebony and Ivory' (with Stevie Wonder). His work with the Beat;es, though, is mostly beyond reproach, so I won't go there.

Led Zep gets no sympathy from me. Yeah, I liked them a bit as a kid, but I couldn't care less if I never heard them again.

Swish

[SlumpBuster]

Swish, your right. Its only radio Elton that I know, I've just never been compelled to investigate further. But here is a serious question: If Elton made say 3 good albums in the first three years of a forty year career, does that make him a sucky artist with a few good records, or a good artist that got derailed? i.e. Chicago - had some good eras and the Cetera Karate Kid era. Sucky band or sucky periods?

[Mr Peabody]

Let's not get carried away here. I like Heart quite a bit and have several albums but then again I like Zeppelin too. Plant did some excellent solo work and I like No Quarter with Page. However, I agree, Lighten Up Baby sucks, although it was probably one of his biggest songs. I like the early Aerosmith, Toys In The Attic rocks all the way through. I don't really like much they've done in their second career except that blues album they did, that is a good Aerosmith album for the most part. I'll have to check out Last Child, I like Funk.

I think we can add Adam Ant to the list. There's probably several bands from that era I could add.

[Jim Clark]

Hmmm, where to draw the line between sucks and I just plain don't like? And make it big, how big is required before it can be said they made it big? Air Supply is an obvious contender of course but what about Christopher Cross? For a while, he was everywhere from your television to radio, and not always singing. 60 minutes did a piece on him long after the winds died down from Sailing. Vinyl scroungers have a vague idea of how many albums the man sold. Clearly not in the category of a Jim Nabors or Sing Along With Mitch, but a lot of albums.

And who pioneered that whole genre anyway? It would probably be remiss to not mention the Capitan and Tenille who remain pop icons via guest appearances which by and large seem aimed at making just a much fun of those of us that know who they are as the music the duo created. And while I'm on the subject of making fun, all I can say is the brothers Gibb. Jive Talking? Are you kidding me? In falsetto no less. They took lameness to a whole new level that for a time became the new cool. I still don't think they could have done any of it without Travolta who remains cool personified. Travolta recovered, learned how to act (kind of) and continues to reinvent himself. The Glibb boys remained lame as it's all they knew and all they where capable of. But I digress...

Lot's of viable candidates here. Slumpbuster could be my kid brother and I'm not going to argue any of his choices. Throw in a Bob Dylan and that list could be mine. Over the years however I think I've come to make some kind of internal distinction between music that sucks and music I just don't like. Billy Joel's music is lame (be honest, you know it's true), and I just don't like the Beatles. Madam Elton remains a true enigma for me. Right now I'm giving 50-50 odds on the lame/don't like call. Pick'em.

jc

[Jim Clark]

I think we can add Adam Ant to the list. There's probably several bands from that era I could add.

uh, umm, uhhh, mmm, well I never! Oh no you D- IN'T! The nerve, the unmitigated gall, how dare you! I am a huge Ant fan! Right now I have an original pressing of Adam and The Ants, Dirk Wears White Socks hanging on the family room wall. I could actually argue that the art school glam and sexual fetish schtick(especially in the early punk years) played a semi-relevant part in the punk explosion. Personally I like it quite a bit. We could also talk a bit about the evolving scene and the addition of the Burundi beat to give the music a bit of "world" flair to punk rock. Two drummers on stage in a punk show wasn't exactly a given at the time. Adam and the Ants and then later as a solo act where among the first, if not the first to put more than music on the stage. It was show, a costume fashion party, and a brand identity - Ant Music For Ant People! Black Flag tried to rip off that notion with their "Black Flag Kills Ants" slogan. I still think it's pretty funny and it illustrates that while not in the same category as a Ramones, Clash, or Sex Pistols, that the Ants did play their part to the hilt and pretty successfully imo.

The whole glam period is pretty much painfully dated and at the very least Strip is lame like few albums before and after. Still, there's quite a bit of punk rock that holds up quite well. And the guy always could sing and put on a show.

jc

[johnny p]

O.K. if you want my opinion........ here it is......

Aerosmith = Sucks
Led Zep. = Pretty Sucky
Lynyrd Skynyrd = Suckiest Illiterate band.... nice guitar solo.... 3 chords?? WOW
The Eagles = Longevity Sucking at its finest
Billy Joel and Phil Collins = Possibly the same guy.... clark kent/Superman of SUCK
Dave Mathews Band .... wait... Just Dave Mathews... the "Band" is good... Dave SUCKS.

[BradH]

That made me laugh out loud. Too bad... negative suits you. That was good.

That's why I don't normally do it, it's just too easy. But the post count around here is anemic so I thought I'd spice it up a bit. I don't know, the thing with Bangs is he was never boring. I can look back and see my problem with him was nobody ever called him on his bs. There was no debate, just legions of younger journo fanboys who thought their work mattered as much as the music. Bangs' legend has turned him into the sacred cow he himself loved to gore.


Sure, I'm being a little harsh on Plant. Yes, technically Plant can sing. Good range, nice pitch, great voice control. But does he have to sound so bad while doing it?

Oh, I gotcha, it's the syle. It's the Geddy Lee question. At the end of the day I suspect Plant was heavily influenced by Janis Joplin. She's not one of my faves but I still love me some Zep.

[Mr Peabody]

JC, I could never get past Goodie Goodie Two Shoes. Wow, Dylan must be the poster boy for this post yet there are those who would run us out of town for such blastfomy. Never ever understood that one but that's a generation or so before me, maybe you had to be there.

JP, I was ready to discount you as not having any taste in music at all but I have to agree with you on Dave Matthews.

We've been concentrating on Rock so far but what about Brittany Spears. Here's a girl I can honestly say I have not heard a single song I could tolerate. I actually like some Dance and Pop music. She is all hype and it worked to sell millions of albums. Putting all the recent publicity aside and looking at her music career, she sucks.

[Jim Clark]

JC, I could never get past Goodie Goodie Two Shoes. Wow, Dylan must be the poster boy for this post yet there are those who would run us out of town for such blastfomy. Never ever understood that one but that's a generation or so before me, maybe you had to be there.

JP, I was ready to discount you as not having any taste in music at all but I have to agree with you on Dave Matthews.

We've been concentrating on Rock so far but what about Brittany Spears. Here's a girl I can honestly say I have not heard a single song I could tolerate. I actually like some Dance and Pop music. She is all hype and it worked to sell millions of albums. Putting all the recent publicity aside and looking at her music career, she sucks.

Yeah, most people don't know/care that Adam and the Ants where originally an S&M art school punk band. Many moons ago I made an Adam and the Ants comp and sent it out to people on the board, probably close to 30 copies. I purposefully left off Goody Two Shoes since I think it's only relevant from an MTV nostalgia perspective and even then I think Stand And Deliver or Ant Music is a better choice. Got enough complaints that I had to stick it on there. Go figure. More people think Adam Ant sucks than Elton John or Bob Dylan by about 1,000,000-1 so I'm prepared to deal. Just thought your post was funny given my own peculiar tastes.

jc

[Swish]

Hmmm, where to draw the line between sucks and I just plain don't like? And make it big, how big is required before it can be said they made it big? Air Supply is an obvious contender of course but what about Christopher Cross? For a while, he was everywhere from your television to radio, and not always singing. 60 minutes did a piece on him long after the winds died down from Sailing. Vinyl scroungers have a vague idea of how many albums the man sold. Clearly not in the category of a Jim Nabors or Sing Along With Mitch, but a lot of albums.

And who pioneered that whole genre anyway? It would probably be remiss to not mention the Capitan and Tenille who remain pop icons via guest appearances which by and large seem aimed at making just a much fun of those of us that know who they are as the music the duo created. And while I'm on the subject of making fun, all I can say is the brothers Gibb. Jive Talking? Are you kidding me? In falsetto no less. They took lameness to a whole new level that for a time became the new cool. I still don't think they could have done any of it without Travolta who remains cool personified. Travolta recovered, learned how to act (kind of) and continues to reinvent himself. The Glibb boys remained lame as it's all they knew and all they where capable of. But I digress...

Lot's of viable candidates here. Slumpbuster could be my kid brother and I'm not going to argue any of his choices. Throw in a Bob Dylan and that list could be mine. Over the years however I think I've come to make some kind of internal distinction between music that sucks and music I just don't like. Billy Joel's music is lame (be honest, you know it's true), and I just don't like the Beatles. Madam Elton remains a true enigma for me. Right now I'm giving 50-50 odds on the lame/don't like call. Pick'em.

jc

Sorry, I make so many typos here that I take pure joy in busying the balls of anyone else who does it. I don't know that I can include them because they really weren't 'big' by Air Supply standards. Heck, they were nearly a one hit wonder. I agree with you on Christopher Cross, but he was close to a one hit wonder too. Billy Joel started out ok but turned into total crap, as did Phil Collins. In fact, I would say Phil belongs for sure, but at least Billy had a couple decent records ala Elton John.

Boy Dylan remains an icon in the industry, and calling him sucko or any other derisive term is utter nonsense. Yes, I like him, but come on! Give the man his due. He will be remembered as one of the greatest ever for generations to come. Ditto Johnny Cash who many don't like. The talent is undeniable.

Swish

[basite]

The Eagles = Longevity Sucking at its finest


I don't really like their new album,

... Hotel California on the other hand :) :yesnod:

[Swish]

JC, I could never get past Goodie Goodie Two Shoes. Wow, Dylan must be the poster boy for this post yet there are those who would run us out of town for such blastfomy. Never ever understood that one but that's a generation or so before me, maybe you had to be there.

JP, I was ready to discount you as not having any taste in music at all but I have to agree with you on Dave Matthews.

We've been concentrating on Rock so far but what about Brittany Spears. Here's a girl I can honestly say I have not heard a single song I could tolerate. I actually like some Dance and Pop music. She is all hype and it worked to sell millions of albums. Putting all the recent publicity aside and looking at her music career, she sucks.

Yes, you truly don't get Dylan because his talents go far beyond the few songs you've heard on the radio. I know I'm a lot older than you and many of the others on the board, so I grew up with him. In fact, I just saw a DVD with him playing some retro/honky-tonk that was really good. He remains vital today, unlike Billy Joel and Elton John who bought into the 'hit making' b.s. and became a joke to many of us. That was never the case with Bob. Sorry, that's just wrong.

Now you name someone like Brittany who can't sing, play an instrument of write a song, yet she became HUGE despite all of that. She belongs on the list for sure. How you can say her name in the same sentence as Bob Dylan is beyond me. Visions of Johanna, Shelter From the Storm, Just Like a Woman...these are some of my favorite songs ever, and they're all Bob.

Sorry, but you should be getting about 40 lashes for that.

Swish

[Swish]

O.K. if you want my opinion........ here it is......

Aerosmith = Sucks
Led Zep. = Pretty Sucky
Lynyrd Skynyrd = Suckiest Illiterate band.... nice guitar solo.... 3 chords?? WOW
The Eagles = Longevity Sucking at its finest
Billy Joel and Phil Collins = Possibly the same guy.... clark kent/Superman of SUCK
Dave Mathews Band .... wait... Just Dave Mathews... the "Band" is good... Dave SUCKS.

I suppose if you're only talking about the remnants that remained after that terrible accident, I have no problem, but the original band recorded some great rock 'n roll songs, including That Smell, Gimme Three Steps, and Call Me the Breeze. You mention 3 chords. Well, that's what most rock is, and so what? Seriously, if you're looking for complexity, that's a whole different ball of wax. I pretty much detest prog while other like it, getting off on all the time changes and 'fabulous' musicianship. Hey, I've been playing guitar for about 37 years and, while I'm not half bad, I'm way over the guitar hero stuff. I like simple stuff played well, not that I don't like a well-placed guitar solo. You know, one that actually fits the song structure and not just some shredder trying to impress everyone with his speed.

Swish

[BradH]

Billy Joel and Phil Collins = Possibly the same guy....

Okay, I gotta vent some more.

I think there are two distinct levels of sucktation. Phil could sing and was a helluva drummer but he wrote pop pap that blitzkrieged the airwaves with boring junk for too many years. Billy Joel, on the other hand, is a complete phony in my view. Utterly unconvincing and overwrought, he's the Ethal Merman of Rock 'n' Roll. Then he tried to cash in on new wave with that Glass Houses crap. "Friday night I crashed yo paaarty." Omigod, the piano man is trying to sound like a punk! It's like an audio version of Epicac, it just works faster.

While I'm at it, and speaking of the changes the new wave wrought, The Eagles tried to man up with The Long Run. That was hilarious after they'd displayed the utter inability to sound like they'd ever actually been in the fast lane no matter how much they sang about it. Then there was the bile inducing video of Jefferson Starship with Grace Slick gothed up in a dog collar and glaring through acres of eyeliner in a desperate Siouxse wannabe gambit for relevance.

Hell, let's keep going...

What's up with Bad Company? Were they really that good? Really? "Feel like makin' luuuuuuuuv". You couldn't intentionally design a more mind numbing parody of a post-blues rock lobotomy. Zeppelin went on and on about these guys when they signed them to Swan Song but I thought they made BTO sound complex. Yeah, I get the part about 3-chord rock, believe me. But there's no excuse for being boring. I hated Skynyrd and their downshifted version of the Allman's but at least their rhythm section was tight. Bad Co. just sounded burnt out from day one and probably were.

I can think of buttloads of big bucks suckage without picking on Elton or Dave Matthews. My god, Journey? Foreigner? The list is endless. Actually, it's only about 200 songs played on the radio 24/7 for three decades.

Okay, that's enough tail-gating the short bus. You guys got me started, it's your fault.

[Swish]

Okay, I gotta vent some more.

I think there are two distinct levels of sucktation. Phil could sing and was a helluva drummer but he wrote pop pap that blitzkrieged the airwaves with boring junk for too many years. Billy Joel, on the other hand, is a complete phony in my view. Utterly unconvincing and overwrought, he's the Ethal Merman of Rock 'n' Roll. Then he tried to cash in on new wave with that Glass Houses crap. "Friday night I crashed yo paaarty." Omigod, the piano man is trying to sound like a punk! It's like an audio version of Epicac, it just works faster.

While I'm at it, and speaking of the changes the new wave wrought, The Eagles tried to man up with The Long Run. That was hilarious after they'd displayed the utter inability to sound like they'd ever actually been in the fast lane no matter how much they sang about it. Then there was the bile inducing video of Jefferson Starship with Grace Slick gothed up in a dog collar and glaring through acres of eyeliner in a desperate Siouxse wannabe gambit for relevance.

Hell, let's keep going...

What's up with Bad Company? Were they really that good? Really? "Feel like makin' luuuuuuuuv". You couldn't intentionally design a more mind numbing parody of a post-blues rock lobotomy. Zeppelin went on and on about these guys when they signed them to Swan Song but I thought they made BTO sound complex. Yeah, I get the part about 3-chord rock, believe me. But there's no excuse for being boring. I hated Skynyrd and their downshifted version of the Allman's but at least their rhythm section was tight. Bad Co. just sounded burnt out from day one and probably were.

I can think of buttloads of big bucks suckage without picking on Elton or Dave Matthews. My god, Journey? Foreigner? The list is endless. Actually, it's only about 200 songs played on the radio 24/7 for three decades.

Okay, that's enough tail-gating the short bus. You guys got me started, it's your fault.
..ly bad. Fooled ya, didn't I. Yes, I can't believe I didn't include them in my original post, along with Foreigner and their ilk, but there are just too many who really sucked to remember them all, especially after I've worked so hard to forget them. The BTO comment was really funny by the way. Oh, and how about REO Speedwagon? Get out the barf bags.

I'm feeling much better now.

Swish

[johnny p]

Bob Dylan is excellent.... If you want to dismiss him as a singer, so be it.... we all know his true talent was song writing.

As far as the Guitar Solos go.... I'll admit that I don't listen to, nor do I own (I don't think I do at least) any Prince, but Prince plays a mean guitar, and the solos fit in quite nicely.

I like Frank Zappa, and that's on a whole different level of "music" and It has nothing to do with anyone's ability to play an instrument, or carry a tune..... it's more about the songs themselves (man did I make any sense???? ) I'm listening to Spanish Guitar right now.... which means.... yep.... there's my wife!!!! I really enjoy the live music/improvisational scene, but as I stated, Dave Mathews is certainly not my cup of tea..... I like artists that generate energy with their audience, or for instance.... Widespread Panic (in the earlier days... I don't care much for them now) So many tempo changes... I hear it makes their music very difficult to play, but it's full of energy....

I'm sure if you shake your monitor violently, this will all make sense.... sorry.

[Mr Peabody]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity. It's interesting that you all rail on icons of Classic Rock. Classic Rock is actually growing in popularity amongst teens to young adult according to reports I've heard. I do not like Dylan and I'm aware of his status as mentioned in my post of the blastfomy. But him sucking to me is no different than any of you who claim other major artists such as Eagles or Zepplin suck. If Classic Rock artists sucked they wouldn't continue to get heavy radio play. Apparently playing music that sucks is contrary to selling commercials and getting a good rating for your station.

I have emailed and talked to programmers until I'm blue in the face about the lack of variety. It would seem that people like you and I who buy music that is off the beaten path and we seek things new or different, are in a very small minority. So I guess who ever we say sucks is just our opinion because the volume of record sales and success of what ever artist speaks for itself.

[BradH]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity..

I know, it's awesome. Almost like old times at RR.


Classic Rock is actually growing in popularity amongst teens to young adult according to reports I've heard...

So what? A lot of it still sucks just like it did when young people bought it in the 70's.


If Classic Rock artists sucked they wouldn't continue to get heavy radio play.

It gets heavy radio play because there's an entire generation of people who never listened to anything more adventurous than Rush. A lot of people in their 30's and 40's were raised on that format and that's their definition of rock 'n' roll. So be it. It's not a crime against humanity, it's just lame.


So I guess who ever we say sucks is just our opinion because the volume of record sales and success of what ever artist speaks for itself.

Again, I don't mind the sales so much. Like I said, sucky artists who sell a lot are tapping into some kind of need that's out there, there's just no way around it. But the need to hear the classic rock format became largely manufactured in the 80's. The dj's loved to play recordings of people requesting songs that were already on the list. Loverboy, anyone? Why did they request it? It's all they knew and felt comfortable with after all those years. Popularity creates its own weird legitimacy in a boot-strapping kind of way. So to your question, how do we determine suction? Here's a small example: it was blatantly obvious to me that Phil Collins' first solo album, Face Value, was totally ripping off Peter Gabriel's third album. Phil knew it, Gabriel knew it, Genesis knew it. It was a monster hit but it sucked because it was an unoriginal wussy type of career move no matter how technically inspired it was. I knew that because I had a deeper and wider range of listening habits than most of the people who suddenly discovered Phil Collins. That's not elitism, that's just a fact. Somewhere there's somebody who knows more about wooden spoons or the frigging history of bird houses or something. So, it's not just a matter of opinion, it's a matter of informed opinion. The more you know about the music scene the more you know who's being brave and original and who's faking it. And there was a lot of faking going on in that Classic Rock radio format. I reject the notion that it all has value just because it's old and growing in popularity. Your argument is similar to the one guys like you and me have always heard when we're told our fave bands can't be all that good or they'd be more popular.

[Jim Clark]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity. It's interesting that you all rail on icons of Classic Rock. Classic Rock is actually growing in popularity amongst teens to young adult according to reports I've heard.

Like there was ever any control or validity to begin with. Somewhere there's somebody who still digs Air Supply and would defend their anti-suckdom for hours. Well, probably anyway.

As for the youngsters I'd agree with your assessment but I would remind you that these are the same teens and young adults that were listening to rap a few short months ago. I wouldn't base too many arguments on what kids listen to. Kids are stupid, it's just part of the deal : )

jc

[Jack in Wilmington]

Here are a few of mine and I'm sure it will strike a nerve somewhere.

Bob Dylan.- Just can't stand his voice. I'll admit he can write songs but please Bob sell them to somebody with a voice.

Willie Nelson - See Above

Rolling Stones - Maybe in their younger days, But come on guys will you just frickin retire, You're like the Roger Clemens of rock.

Rod Stewart - If I hear Maggie May one more time. "Wake up Maggie" for her sake I hope she's in a coma.

[johnny p]

I feel ashamed...... You said Rolling Stones and Rod Stewart........ I didn't think of them!!!! I totally agree.... but Willie Nelson and Bob Dylan??? You're lookin' for a fight buddy!!!!

[Swish]

I know, it's awesome. Almost like old times at RR.



So what? A lot of it still sucks just like it did when young people bought it in the 70's.



It gets heavy radio play because there's an entire generation of people who never listened to anything more adventurous than Rush. A lot of people in their 30's and 40's were raised on that format and that's their definition of rock 'n' roll. So be it. It's not a crime against humanity, it's just lame.



Again, I don't mind the sales so much. Like I said, sucky artists who sell a lot are tapping into some kind of need that's out there, there's just no way around it. But the need to hear the classic rock format became largely manufactured in the 80's. The dj's loved to play recordings of people requesting songs that were already on the list. Loverboy, anyone? Why did they request it? It's all they knew and felt comfortable with after all those years. Popularity creates its own weird legitimacy in a boot-strapping kind of way. So, it's not just a matter of opinion, it's a matter of informed opinion. The more you know about the music scene the more you know who's being brave and original and who's faking it. And there was a lot of faking going on in that Classic Rock radio format. I reject the notion that it all has value just because it's old and growing in popularity. Your argument is similar to the one guys like you and me have always heard when we're told our fave bands can't be all that good or they'd be more popular.

And I could not have responded any better than you did. Anyone who equates hits or radio play with quality is just missing the point. They keep eating hamburgers while we enjoy the filet mignon.

I remember moving to a new office in PA from NJ back around 1987, and the mostly younger staff always listened to an FM radio station out of Scranton that played mostly classic rock, which I, of course, hated for the most part. They had a little stereo system that had a cassette player in it, so I popped in the new Midnight Oil with' Beds Are Burning' on it, and they pretty much trashed it, and I was incensed, explaining that they need to really listen and not be so narrow-minded and only listen to the crap djs thrust upon them. Funny thing was, about a year of so later, that song started getting air-play on that station and they all liked it, at which point I reminded them of the incident from a year ago and exposed them for their blatant hypocrisy. Just another example of people who rely on the radio to tell them what is 'good' and what they should be listening to.

Hey, I do like some classic rock, especially when it comes to the Allman Brothers, but I don't want to hear it 24/7 either, especially from most of the el-sucko bands already mentioned.

Thanks for helping,
Swish

[buyusa]

I cant think of all the great songs that radio has destroyed and I only listen to It in the car. Great example pretty much the entire paranoid album. I could care less If I ever heard this once great album again.

[SlumpBuster]

This thread is out of control and lost all validity.


I know! It's great! I think it really is more of a "what you like" standard. There is simply no objective suckitude standard. And there is no accounting for taste. But I love the dichotomy it demonstrates.

I can't stand Journey, but love REO Speedwagon. To many people there is no difference between the two bands, but to me there is a huge difference.

Billy Joel's "still rock and roll to me" is terrible, but "Piano Man" is timeless and really good in Spanish too. Go figure.

[Mr Peabody]

I'm wondering now if it's suckitude that's directed at some of these bands or is it just plain burn out. If it's the burn out I'm all with you on that. For the most part I disagree with most of the bands mentioned as sucking. Some of the impression of sucking is also bands who don't know when to quit and younger people get exposed to the suckier stuff and don't explore the rest of a catalog.

I was into Journey, including the pre Steve Perry, and REO in the beginning and their hay days and like them both. I have much of the Stones early to mid career stuff. Almost everything by Zeppelin except all the stuff they drug out of the attics and closets to make a buck on. I have quite a bit of Elton John but also sent some albums I acquired in collections on their way for sucking. I also like a lot of Phil Collins solo work. I have some Peter Gabriel but must not have heard his 3rd album because him and Phil seem to follow quite a different path to me. With all of this said these bands rarely get pulled when I'm in the mood to listen to music and none of them are on my mp3 player. What I listen to on my mp3 player while commuting is mostly Rock that don't get much air play, anything from Proto Kaw to Tristania to Motorhead and Iron Maiden to Ramones, Infectious Grooves to Dokken. Almost anything could end up in my CDP or turntable except things that I have that was a waste because of over exposure. A good example is Boston, it was a waste to buy the disc, you can hear almost any track on the radio most any time.

I'd like to think it was because of my persistent badgering but I doubt it, we do have a Classic Rock stations that goes "no repeat" for a whole week, every week. They claim it's successful so far but I can't convince them to do it with the AOR station. If they lost AC/DC, Ozzie or Black Sabbath that station would have to go off the air. They also play Pearl Jam every day. Give me a break, here's a band that you could almost add to the list in my opinion. 10 was the only album worth pressing and I don't want to hear the few hits every single day. Maybe they think people who listen to that type of music don't have the brain cells left to notice the repetitiveness.

It is interesting though to see what sucks to whom and maybe we all should be proud that we risen to explore beyond the norm.

[Swish]

What can I do next to stir the pot? So many sucky bands, so little time.

Swish

[Wireworm5]

[Billy Joel's "still rock and roll to me" is terrible, but "Piano Man" is timeless and really good in Spanish too. Go figure."]

Hey I like that song, "still rock and roll to me". It always reminds me of the time when I was working at McDonald's and I was on the lunch break with a fellow employee chick, babe. I had the hots for her and she closed the door to the lunch room and danced around the room to this song. I thought I was gone a get lucky.

Philadelphia Freedom, tops my list of all time suckiest songs. Keep it in your bedroom please!

I could go on for days listing more sucky songs but I will only mention one more artist that's always on the radio, Bob Seger. He had two hits Night Moves and Still the Same. All the rest of his songs use the same formula but sadly they aren't hits. Oh, and don't get me started on Old Time Rock n Roll.

[Mr Peabody]

Bob Seger? Are you crazy?! Bob had way more than 2 hits. Live Bullet, Stranger In Town, Night Moves and Against The Wind are all good albums from beginning to end, pretty much. Again, though, this is another one of those artists who suffers from radio over play of his more popular stuff. Bob's music may not be complex but it's some finger popping, toe tapping good time. Get back to the roots man, Rock-n-Roll was never complex and was never intended to be, it's the spirit of the thing. Every Jerry Lee Lewis song is basically the same thing and the list is long of those that do like wise. How do you think the Ramones pulled their act off? There's nothing deep there, it's just energetic good fun. You know, it either works for you or it don't.

Besides that man, one of his songs is on a Chevy commercial :)

[Wireworm5]

I heard he made something like 10 million dollars on that song for the commercial. More than he probably made over the radio.
And that song sucks, Like a Rock.:)

[Mr MidFi]

I like about half of the "sucky" artists mentioned so far in this thread. Who cares?

Air Supply is the correct answer. There is a difference between "suck" and "it's not my taste". Liking Air Supply is simply not a valid preference. "I'm All Out of Love" is the single worst song ever recorded. This is a fact. It's not open to discussion.

[Finch Platte]

The Rolling Stones.

No wait, Foreigner.

fp

[Finch Platte]

It always reminds me of the time when I was working at McDonald's and I was on the lunch break with a fellow employee chick, babe. I had the hots for her and she closed the door to the lunch room and danced around the room to this song.

That's hot. :cornut:

[GMichael]

I could never tolerate Bruce Springsteen or the B52's.

[Bernd]

Some great stuff and Air Supply will take some beating. I will play and give it a go. It is pretty tough to distinguish between suckiest and just don't like. I don't like the Beatles, but can't deny their importance. Whereas these.....

I can't stomach the BeeGees from Saturday Night Fever onwards.
Also U2. What a promising band that dissapeared completely up it's own rectum.
But top spot for me is Diana Ross. Absolutely makes me cringe.

And for a recent suckiest look no further than The Spice Girls. Dear oh Dear.

Peace

:16:

[nobody]

No way for anything other than an opinion on this one, so I'll toss out mine...

Van Halen

David Lee Roth or Sammy Hagar. Can't stand the spandex clad karate monkey or the scab. Eddie's guitar is not only completely annoying, but it led to a generation of people thinking the key to playing guitar was to see how fast you can play a couple notes over and over. There is not one thing this band has even done that even remotely entertains me...well, except some decent laughs at their ill-fated current concert tour.

[johnny p]

I'll be attacked...... but I don't care for Sting.... Stewart Copeland is amazing though.

[Jack in Wilmington]

I'll be attacked...... but I don't care for Sting.... Stewart Copeland is amazing though.

Not just Sting, the whole band, Roxanne keeps getting played by the so-called progressive rock station here in Philly and I have to keep changing the station.

[Swish]

I like about half of the "sucky" artists mentioned so far in this thread. Who cares?

Air Supply is the correct answer. There is a difference between "suck" and "it's not my taste". Liking Air Supply is simply not a valid preference. "I'm All Out of Love" is the single worst song ever recorded. This is a fact. It's not open to discussion.

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone,
thinking of you 'til it hurts
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do,
tormented and torn apart.

I wish I could carry your smile in my heart,
For times when my life seems so low.
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring,
When today doesn't really know, Doesn't really know.

I'm all out of love, I'm so lost with you,
I know you were right, believing for so long.
I'm all out of love, what am I without you,
I can't be to late to say that I was so wrong.

I want you to come back and carry me home,
Away from these long, lonely nights.
I'm reaching for you. Are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now,
And said that I can't hold on?
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day,
Please love me or I'll be gone. I'll be gone.

Oooo....What are you thinking of
What are you thinking of
What are you Thinking of
What are you Thinking of

Yeah. Deep.

Swish

[MindGoneHaywire]

This thread sucked until someone mentioned Lester Bangs. Now it sucks less.

My least favorite bands have to be Aerosmith, Rush, & the Eagles. The order changes depending on whose music I was forced to endure most recently.

Oh, yeah. Santana. Oooffff. And Primus, too, in spite of their almost-clever attempt to...oh, never mind.

Naming the 70s arena classic rock giants is tempting, yet pointless. They all sound the same to me. As for radio formats, anything in the wake of Lee Abrams is marketing, and nothing more. And it's more than 30 years since Superstars/AOR/"Classic."

If you had to program a classic rock radio station with MP3s, I'm pretty sure you could do it, easily, with 1 gb of space, even allowing for decent file sizes. Hell, maybe half that much. That speaks for itself.

Focus groups suck.

[BradH]

If you had to program a classic rock radio station with MP3s, I'm pretty sure you could do it, easily, with 1 gb of space, even allowing for decent file sizes. Hell, maybe half that much. That speaks for itself.

I heard the list was about 200 songs. The station here in Dallas once played the entire list. It started Sunday and lasted until Thursday. You couldn't tell the difference.

Oh yeah, Lester Bangs was a wuss.

[unleasHell]

Every band NOT named Joy Division SUCKs....

A change of speed, a change of style.
A change of scene, with no regrets,
A chance to watch, admire the distance,
Still occupied, though you forget.
Different colours, different shades,
Over each mistakes were made.
I took the blame.
Directionless so plain to see,
A loaded gun won't set you free.
So you say.
We'll share a drink and step outside,
An angry voice and one who cried,
'We'll give you everything and more,
The strain's too much, can't take much more.'
I've walked on water, run through fire,
Can't seem to feel it anymore.
It was me, waiting for me,
Hoping for something more,
Me, seeing me this time,
Hoping for something else.

[bobsticks]

The Oak Ridge Boys
Shaun Cassidy
aHa
Stryper
Barbara Streisand
Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock
Zamfir

[Mr Peabody]

Santana? You are crazy, they rock! Except for maybe some of these recent duets but they've been successful and everyone has to eat. I like the new song with Chad from Nickelback too.

In 20 years some one is going to be saying the crap you guys are about U2 and Pearl Jam. Seems like these guys could release an album of animal farts and end up #1 on billboard because who they are rather than content.

[MindGoneHaywire]

I like the idea that I'm crazy because I don't like Santana & never did. Makes sense.

I think I'd rather listen to Air Supply. However, I see no reason to do so. And I'd rather hear Avril Lavigne try to do a cover of A Love Supreme.

I don't own one U2 or Pearl Jam album.

[Mr Peabody]

Well, don't get too excited, I didn't mean you were certifiable, just maybe....... a little haywire :)

[MindGoneHaywire]

How do I know you're not saying that just because it might be true?

Oh, and it's not Lester Bangs' fault that rubes have been aping him poorly for decades. When he did what he did...it needed to be done. Badly. If a critique can never be as important as the work being critiqued...who cares if someone thinks it is? I see nothing wrong with interesting writing, unless it's at the expense of the music being written about...which was ultimately in the hands of the very few people who ever read him in the first place. The music remains the focal point, and the only reason Bangs ever established any notoriety anyway.

[noddin0ff]

The Boss, Mr. Bruce Springsteen. Maybe it's just me but I've never locked on to any of the things that made his career. Sure, he made some anthems, but I can't say any of them struck me as music or really all that worthy. Can someone tell me what he contributed to the music world? In the Bigness/Goodness ratio, I rank BS as pretty high up there.

As a disclaimer, I admit to liking The Ghost of Tom Joad a little bit.

p.s. I gotta read the thread better, I see GM already named him.

[BradH]

In 20 years some one is going to be saying the crap you guys are about U2 and Pearl Jam.

I've been saying that crap about U2 for 20 years already.


When he did what he did...it needed to be done. Badly.

Why? I wouldn't give two sh!ts for a musician who tailored his sound to please the likes of Bangs. I doubt if anyone ever did, really. So what was the point of his career?

[3-LockBox]

Like shooting fish in a barrel...

The band that started the whole pre-fab thing in the first place; The Monkees. They were never a real band, knew it, but then tried to be one anyway. They got huge off some bubblegum pop, that may have peaked in the top 50 if not for their irksome TV show (which were patterned after the incredibly brainless, forgettable Beatles movies). They represent everything wrong with pop music and rock in general. You can blame decades of suckage directly on this Kirshner-pile of steaming dung (Leif Garret, Osmonds, DeFranco Family, David or Shaun Cassidy, Brady Bunch records, Tiffany, Samantha Fox and all of the boy bands of any ethnic persuasion).

Sex Pistols. Piss-poor musicians/singers/writers/performers - at least the Ramones were somewhat competant in their novelty. Sex Pistols were a joke that became an icon and to a degree, blue print for a genre. Nuff said.

[nobody]

I bet you really hate when the Sex Pistols cover Stepping Stone.

[musicman1999]

I wont say that all music made since 1979 sucks but i do think that you could say 85-90 percent of it does.When i was a teenager it was great to go to the record store and pick up that new Zepplin record or maybe that new Pink Floyd,ah what the hell lets get both.Now what do you pick from?

bill

[3-LockBox]

Sex Pistols cover Stepping Stone.

Quite appropriate actually.