What's a "Reputation"?

[ForeverAutumn]

I went in my User Control Panel this afternoon and found that I had a reputation (who knew!?). It was awarded to me on April 13 at 4:57pm. I have 11 points. It appears to be due to the Rave Recs thread about our Top 10 Desert Island albums.

So what does this mean? Are these 11 points good or bad? Can I buy stuff with them? When did we start rating each other's reputations?

[GMichael]

I went in my User Control Panel this afternoon and found that I had a reputation (who knew!?). It was awarded to me on April 13 at 4:57pm. I have 11 points. It appears to be due to the Rave Recs thread about our Top 10 Desert Island albums.

So what does this mean? Are these 11 points good or bad? Can I buy stuff with them? When did we start rating each other's reputations?

A reputation for girls is different than one for a guy. The double standards are in full play here. Although, these days it's reversed. A girl with (let's say) high mileage is worth more than one who's only been around the block once or twice.
11 points are good. No, you can't buy anything with them. (NOT EVEN SHOES!) But you may be able to barter for more if you play your cards right.
Just a few weeks ago. Ericl made note of it. You may have been out that day.

[kexodusc]

Hmmm, how do we see how many rep points we have? And how do i raise or lower it?
A man's got nothin' without his rep....

Ha ha, I just gave you guys reputation points I think....you earned...from now on, every Lost thread post gets a point...unless there's too much talking and I get lazy.

[GMichael]

Hmmm, how do we see how many rep points we have? And how do i raise or lower it?
A man's got nothin' without his rep....

Click on user CP in the upper left.
Then down to Latest Reputation Received.
No way to change your own. You'll need someone to scratch your back for you.

[kexodusc]

Click on user CP in the upper left.
Then down to Latest Reputation Received.
No way to change your own. You'll need someone to scratch your back for you.

Great, so a little bit of mutual masturbation will artificially inflate an arbitrary point scheme system that I can't even see? Sign me up buddy!

[L.J.]

A reputation for girls is different than one for a guy. The double standards are in full play here. Although, these days it's reversed. A girl with (let's say) high mileage is worth more than one who's only been around the block once or twice.

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[ForeverAutumn]

A reputation for girls is different than one for a guy. The double standards are in full play here. Although, these days it's reversed. A girl with (let's say) high mileage is worth more than one who's only been around the block once or twice.
11 points are good. No, you can't buy anything with them. (NOT EVEN SHOES!) But you may be able to barter for more if you play your cards right.
Just a few weeks ago. Ericl made note of it. You may have been out that day.

If I can't use these points to buy shoes (or, at least, an Audio Review T-shirt) then why do I care???

And there's a little blue box beside markw's comments. Does that mean that he gave me a bad reputation? Did I lose points (not that I care)?

How does the point system work? Earlier today I had one comment and 11 points. Now I have 4 comments and 27 points. The math doesn't work (unless markw took points away from me). Again...not that I care.

Where did Ericl make note of it? I missed it. Was it on this board or another? (I care about that 'cause I hate not knowing stuff).

[ForeverAutumn]

Great, so a little bit of mutual masturbation will artificially inflate an arbitrary point scheme system that I can't even see? Sign me up buddy!

Can you guys take this to the other side of the beach please. I don't care if it's only artificially inflated...no-one here needs to see that.

[markw]

If I can't use these points to buy shoes (or, at least, an Audio Review T-shirt) then why do I care???

And there's a little blue box beside markw's comments. Does that mean that he gave me a bad reputation? Did I lose points (not that I care)?

How does the point system work? Earlier today I had one comment and 11 points. Now I have 4 comments and 27 points. The math doesn't work (unless markw took points away from me). Again...not that I care.

Where did Ericl make note of it? I missed it. Was it on this board or another? (I care about that 'cause I hate not knowing stuff).On other sites, they show up green for a good rep and red for a bad rep. That's the same here, but it seems that, for some reason, some "good" reps show up as grey.

Trust me, I didn't slam you. I gave you a good rep (clicked the "I approve" button) and a comment to welcome you. One of those 27 points is the one I gave you.

[kexodusc]

One of those 27 points is the one I gave you.
The other 26 are all me....how's that for back scratchin? :ihih:

[ForeverAutumn]

On other sites, they show up green for a good rep and red for a bad rep. That's the same here, but it seems that, for some reason, some "good" reps show up as grey.

Trust me, I didn't slam you. I gave you a good rep (clicked the "I approve" button) and a comment to welcome you. One of those 27 points is the one I gave you.

Thanks Mark. I didn't think that you would intentionally slam me, but didn't know why your's was the only one that wasn't green. The grey ones must be extra special. ;)


The other 26 are all me....how's that for back scratchin?

Mmmmmm. A little to the left. That's it. :thumbsup:

[Dusty Chalk]

Where did Ericl make note of it? Here (http://forums.audioreview.com/showthread.php?t=22030).

[GMichael]

It's not a "point per comment" system. Members with more posts, count higher than newbies. New members with less than some unknown number of posts can only leave grey dots.

[ForeverAutumn]

Thanks guys.

I think it would be more fun if you could see who gave you the reputation (good or bad) without relying on the comments section. But then again....I could give you all bad reps and you wouldn't know it was me. teeheehee.

[GMichael]

Thanks guys.

I think it would be more fun if you could see who gave you the reputation (good or bad) without relying on the comments section. But then again....I could give you all bad reps and you wouldn't know it was me. teeheehee.

I would know. My ESP is tuned in very sharp today.

Hey! Put that finger DOWN!

[Dusty Chalk]

Thanks guys.

I think it would be more fun if you could see who gave you the reputation (good or bad) without relying on the comments section. But then again....I could give you all bad reps and you wouldn't know it was me. teeheehee.I think it's better that it's unknown. It could very quickly turn into a Simpson group-shock-therapy type brawl if we knew who gave out what.

"What, you gave me negative points? I'll show you. And you're friends, too, just for associating with you. And him, just because his name reminds me too much of yours."

[markw]

It's not a "point per comment" system. Members with more posts, count higher than newbies. New members with less than some unknown number of posts can only leave grey dots.Inquiring minds want to know...

[GMichael]

Inquiring minds want to know...

I didn't see that answer in the tutorial.

[daviethek]

Can you guys take this to the other side of the beach please. I don't care if it's only artificially inflated...no-one here needs to see that.

.........Some of the fellas here may actually use artificial inflation.

[nobody]

All I know is Joan Jett "don't give a damn 'bout her reputation."

[jrhymeammo]

.........Some of the fellas here may actually use artificial inflation.

Please recommend me one that has a self-cleaning mode.

[GMichael]

Please recommend me one that has a self-cleaning mode.

But what happens if you say, activate the cleaning mode while you're still using it?
:17:

[jrhymeammo]

But what happens if you say, activate the cleaning mode while you're still using it?
:17:

Then I'll say:

"Listen here Wifey, could wait another 30 seconds?"

:yikes:

[markw]

You guys do realize Forever Autumn is a lady, don't you?

[JohnMichael]

You guys do realize Forever Autumn is a lady, don't you?




She is a woman and I would have to meet her to determine if she was a lady.:)

[markw]

She is a woman and I would have to meet her to determine if she was a lady.:)Well, I guess I'll define a lady as a female/woman with class. Using that as my ruler, judging from her posts here, I feel comfortable in referring to her as a lady.

[GMichael]

Well, I guess I'll define a lady as a female/woman with class. Using that as my ruler, judging from her posts here, I feel comfortable in referring to her as a lady.

Ditto. But she doesn't seem to mind us joking with her.

[JohnMichael]

One of the interesting ideas about the term lady I learned from some of my womyn friends. They percieve the term lady as sexist. When you tell a woman to act like a lady there is a certain mental framework of behaviors expected. Think Laura Bush. On the other hand I know someone who will say that it takes breeding and class to become a lady. Which again is a narrow stereotype of a woman's expected behaviors.

[Bernd]

One of the interesting ideas about the term lady I learned from some of my womyn friends. They percieve the term lady as sexist. When you tell a woman to act like a lady there is a certain mental framework of behaviors expected. Think Laura Bush. On the other hand I know someone who will say that it takes breeding and class to become a lady. Which again is a narrow stereotype of a woman's expected behaviors.

Well said JM.:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

My wife hates the term "Lady". IMHO-You're either a decent human being or you're not. Simple really.:)
Or it should be.

Peace

:7:

[Resident Loser]

Well, I guess I'll define a lady as a female/woman with class. Using that as my ruler, judging from her posts here, I feel comfortable in referring to her as a lady.

...then again, you probably hold doors open, etc. You are an anachronism...a dinosaur...you sexist pig!

I guess the alternative of callin' 'em all ho's is more au courant, the more acceptable, contemporary nomenclature...Hmm...no, maybe not...Imus be mistaken...

jimHJJ(...then, of course, you have the "womyn" aspect in all if it's herstorical glory...)

[markw]

One of the interesting ideas about the term lady I learned from some of my womyn friends. They percieve the term lady as sexist. When you tell a woman to act like a lady there is a certain mental framework of behaviors expected. Think Laura Bush. On the other hand I know someone who will say that it takes breeding and class to become a lady. Which again is a narrow stereotype of a woman's expected behaviors.I would be interested if she felt either honored or insulted by my calling her that.

Maybe it's a generational thing, but virtually every female I've ever run across (no exceptions) of any age found being called a lady a compliment simply because it implies breeding and class, which can transend many self-imposed barriers.

And,anyone that insists that woman be spelled "womyn" and defines the therm "lady" as sexist has issues of their (note I didn't say "her") own. After all, lady is, and has always been, simply the female counterpart of gentleman. Do any natural born males find this sexist?

In the meantime, it seems you're all just trying to rationalize the continued use of gutter talk in her thread. IMNSHO, she subtly (as a lady would) expressed mild displeasure with it initially, but several here took that as tacit approval and played off of it. It's as if some here can't take a subtle hint.

[markw]

Well said JM.:thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

My wife hates the term "Lady". IMHO-You're either a decent human being or you're not. Simple really.:)
Or it should be.

Peace

:7:Maybe she isn't a lady? Just wondering...

[ForeverAutumn]

Well, this thread certainly has taken an interesting turn.

In regards to the phrase Lady, I have no problem with it. I think that it is a statement of respect. I see nothing sexist about it. And I venture to call men Gentlemen on a rather frequent basis. But only if they are deserving of my respect. I understand what Bernd is saying, but I don't know of a non-gender word that could replace lady and gentleman, so those are the words that I use.

Even the slang words like wench, b!tch, or ho, I don't find sexist. I find them degrading. The attitude with which they are said is probably sexist, but the words are only words.

What I do find sexist is when I'm referred to in my husband's name...Mrs. John Smith (no, his name isn't really John Smith :rolleyes: ). Especially, since I didn't take on his last name when we got married. I find that tradition of a woman changing her name highly sexist, as though she doesn't deserve her own identity. I told my Hubby that if he wanted us to have the same name, he was welcome to change his. He chose to keep his maiden name.

I don't mind when someone holds open the door for me. It's just a nice gesture. And I always say Thank You. I often hold the door open for other people...men and women. I get mad if they don't thank me for doing so (and I usually yell YOU'RE WELCOME after them, to let them know that they were rude).

Sexism is an attitude and it goes both ways. I think that it's sexist for a woman to expect a man to open a door for her, or to pay for dinner, etc, just because he's a man.

I used to call myself a feminist. Now I call myself a humanist. Treat me (and everyone) with respect and I'll treat you the same way. Cross the line and either I'll ignore you or you'll feel my wrath...depending on my mood. Luckily, lines aren't crossed too often on this site (or maybe I'm just not easily offended). I think that, for the most part, we all respect each other. And if we don't, then we are at least respectful of each other.

And while I appreciate markw's sentiment in calling me a lady and being concerned that I was offended, there was nothing to read into my comment. I was just making a joke.

[Bernd]

Maybe she isn't a lady? Just wondering...

Well, well, well - what have we got here. A real brave internet warrior. I doubt you would come out with crap like that standing in front of me.

As I said, You're either a decent human being or you're not. Just wondering too.....but maybe, on second thoughts, I don't need to anymore.

[Bernd]

Well, this thread certainly has taken an interesting turn.

In regards to the phrase Lady, I have no problem with it. I think that it is a statement of respect. I see nothing sexist about it. And I venture to call men Gentlemen on a rather frequent basis. But only if they are deserving of my respect. I understand what Bernd is saying, but I don't know of a non-gender word that could replace lady and gentleman, so those are the words that I use.

Even the slang words like wench, b!tch, or ho, I don't find sexist. I find them degrading. The attitude with which they are said is probably sexist, but the words are only words.

What I do find sexist is when I'm referred to in my husband's name...Mrs. John Smith (no, his name isn't really John Smith :rolleyes: ). Especially, since I didn't take on his last name when we got married. I find that tradition of a woman changing her name highly sexist, as though she doesn't deserve her own identity. I told my Hubby that if he wanted us to have the same name, he was welcome to change his. He chose to keep his maiden name.

I don't mind when someone holds open the door for me. It's just a nice gesture. And I always say Thank You. I often hold the door open for other people...men and women. I get mad if they don't thank me for doing so (and I usually yell YOU'RE WELCOME after them, to let them know that they were rude).

Sexism is an attitude and it goes both ways. I think that it's sexist for a woman to expect a man to open a door for her, or to pay for dinner, etc, just because he's a man.

I used to call myself a feminist. Now I call myself a humanist. Treat me (and everyone) with respect and I'll treat you the same way. Cross the line and either I'll ignore you or you'll feel my wrath...depending on my mood. Luckily, lines aren't crossed too often on this site (or maybe I'm just not easily offended). I think that, for the most part, we all respect each other. And if we don't, then we are at least respectful of each other.

And while I appreciate markw's sentiment in calling me a lady and being concerned that I was offended, there was nothing to read into my comment. I was just making a joke.

Great post F.A.:)

My wife also kept her maiden name. Why anybody would want to surrender their identiy is beyond me.
And I agree that sexism is an attitude. I just don't like the class term of Lady or Gentleman. No biggie. Far to much is placed on that surface terminology. Look beyond the facade and you most likely come across selfishness and a complete spiritual desert.
I believe that what you do and the values you live by count for much more than being called a L. or a G. What's wrong with being called a man or a woman.
Do no harm. That's what matters.

Peace

:16:

[markw]

Well, well, well - what have we got here. A real brave internet warrior. I doubt you would come out with crap like that standing in front of me.

As I said, You're either a decent human being or you're not. Just wondering too.....but maybe, on second thoughts, I don't need to anymore.You said your wife doesn't want to be called a lady. So I simply asceded to her wishes and paid her the compliment you say she desired.

After all, I never said she wasn't a good person, just not a lady which, as per your prior post, is exactly what she wants.

Make up your mind. Either you want your wife to be regarded as a lady, or you don't. Ya can't have it both ways. The fact that you rile when, as per your wishes, she's said to not be a lady makes you seen a bit of a hypocrite. I suggest you think about what you really want.

As I said earlier, I've never met a woman who didn't feel complimented when referred to as a lady. No exceptions. Your wife is no different, no matter what you say.

Me? I'm happy and proud that Mrs W. is regarded by all who know her as a lady, and neither of us would have it any other way.

and, yeah. I would say that in front of you.

[Bernd]

....shame, you had to drag this thread down to your level.

[GMichael]

Well, this thread certainly has taken an interesting turn.

In regards to the phrase Lady, I have no problem with it. I think that it is a statement of respect. I see nothing sexist about it. And I venture to call men Gentlemen on a rather frequent basis. But only if they are deserving of my respect. I understand what Bernd is saying, but I don't know of a non-gender word that could replace lady and gentleman, so those are the words that I use.

Even the slang words like wench, b!tch, or ho, I don't find sexist. I find them degrading. The attitude with which they are said is probably sexist, but the words are only words.

What I do find sexist is when I'm referred to in my husband's name...Mrs. John Smith (no, his name isn't really John Smith :rolleyes: ). Especially, since I didn't take on his last name when we got married. I find that tradition of a woman changing her name highly sexist, as though she doesn't deserve her own identity. I told my Hubby that if he wanted us to have the same name, he was welcome to change his. He chose to keep his maiden name.

I don't mind when someone holds open the door for me. It's just a nice gesture. And I always say Thank You. I often hold the door open for other people...men and women. I get mad if they don't thank me for doing so (and I usually yell YOU'RE WELCOME after them, to let them know that they were rude).

Sexism is an attitude and it goes both ways. I think that it's sexist for a woman to expect a man to open a door for her, or to pay for dinner, etc, just because he's a man.

I used to call myself a feminist. Now I call myself a humanist. Treat me (and everyone) with respect and I'll treat you the same way. Cross the line and either I'll ignore you or you'll feel my wrath...depending on my mood. Luckily, lines aren't crossed too often on this site (or maybe I'm just not easily offended). I think that, for the most part, we all respect each other. And if we don't, then we are at least respectful of each other.

And while I appreciate markw's sentiment in calling me a lady and being concerned that I was offended, there was nothing to read into my comment. I was just making a joke.

Bravo FA,

I knew there was a reason I liked you.

[markw]

....shame, you had to drag this thread down to your level.Get real. It seems only you and JM seemed to have a problem with it and, had you simply let your wife speak for herself, you would never have been involved.

[Bernd]

....with your sweeping statements.

Quote [As I said earlier, I've never met a woman who didn't feel complimented when referred to as a lady. No exceptions. Your wife is no different, no matter what you say.]

You don't know me or my wife, nor have you got the faintest idea how she feels or would feel.

And your comment about my wife was purely put to provoke. But then it takes all sorts.

Call anyone a "Lady" who you like, it's your right. I happen not to like that terminology, and that is my right.

Wonder no more ...... me thinks.

[ForeverAutumn]

Hmmm. Interesting to see how the initial turn in this threat, which was started as a means to not offend, has done exactly the opposite.

Just an observation.

Carry on...

[GMichael]

Hmmm. Interesting to see how the initial turn in this threat, which was started as a means to not offend, has done exactly that.

Just an observation.

Carry on...

See what you started?

[markw]

....with your sweeping statements.

Quote [As I said earlier, I've never met a woman who didn't feel complimented when referred to as a lady. No exceptions. Your wife is no different, no matter what you say.]

You don't know me or my wife, nor have you got the faintest idea how she feels or would feel.

And your comment about my wife was purely put to provoke. But then it takes all sorts.

Call anyone a "Lady" who you like, it's your right. I happen not to like that terminology, and that is my right.

Wonder no more ...... me thinks.Happy now? Sheesh...

[Bernd]

Happy now? Sheesh...

Yes. Thank you.:)

[Resident Loser]

...Henny Youngman or Lyle Lovett who said:

"She's no lady, she's my wife"

Howzabout "...that's why the lady is a tramp..."

jimHJJ(...one of Sinatra's as I recall...)

[ForeverAutumn]

My wife also kept her maiden name.
Peace

:16:

She didn't keep her maiden name. She simply kept her name.

tsk. tsk. :biggrin5:

[kexodusc]

She didn't keep her maiden name. She simply kept her name.

tsk. tsk. :biggrin5:

LOL...You sound like my wife (who also kept her name, btw, it sounds better that way).


Sexism is an attitude and it goes both ways. I think that it's sexist for a woman to expect a man to open a door for her, or to pay for dinner, etc, just because he's a man.
Okay, you and she might disagree here...I think she's a feminist-by-convenience. :) She let's me pay for dinner, but refuses to spell "womyn" with a "y". Can't say I blame her. I like it when she pays for dinner, too.

I dunno, I think the onus is on men to be more aware of sexist behavior than women. I'm sure it exists both ways, but I'm not aware of as much sexist behavior on the part of women that reduces the quality of life for men by the same degree in which sexist men can affect women.

[Resident Loser]

She didn't keep her maiden name. She simply kept her name.

tsk. tsk. :biggrin5:

...If we assume she was a maiden prior to marriage (nothing personal Bernd) and no longer one after marriage, then it was indeed her maiden name...Dislike the term as you will, it's used for identification purposes and has significant legal import...

jimHJJ(...apply for a loan and you'll see what I mean...)

[GMichael]

LOL...You sound like my wife (who also kept her name, btw, it sounds better that way).


Okay, you and she might disagree here...I think she's a feminist-by-convenience. :) She let's me pay for dinner, but refuses to spell "womyn" with a "y". Can't say I blame her. I like it when she pays for dinner, too.

I dunno, I think the onus is on men to be more aware of sexist behavior than women. I'm sure it exists both ways, but I'm not aware of as much sexist behavior on the part of women that reduces the quality of life for men by the same degree in which sexist men can affect women.


I take it on a case by case bases. Any women or womyn or lady who treats me fair, will be treated fair right back. Any of them who are mad at me for something some other guy has done will be avoided. I didn't do it and shouldn't have to pay for it. I'll hold a door open for a guy or a gal equally. If they get mad at me for it, then I pitty their miserable lives. If they don't say thank you, I may say you're welcome as FA does. Or I may just roll my eyes and go on with life.
My wife took my name. But not because I expected her to. It's part of how she grew up and she expected it of herself. I wouldn't have had a problem if she didn't.
I do understand what JM and Bernd are saying about the "lady" label. Some (mostly younger) women feel that a lady is subservient. That it means that they do the cooking & cleaning, stay home and "serve her man." I don't see it that way but will fight for their right to think what they want. I'll call them what they want to be called. My idea of a lady was always a woman with class, but never thought of a woman as a lady without it.

Hey, how did this happen? I never get serious. Who did this to me? Where's the punch line? When do I get to make a joke.

See what you did FA?

[Resident Loser]

I do understand what JM and Bernd are saying about the "lady" label. Some (mostly younger) women feel that a lady is subservient. That it means that they do the cooking & cleaning, stay home and "serve her man."

See what you did FA?

...tell that to Jerry Lewis when he calls after some "L-a-a-d-y-y-y!"...

Odd thing is Lady is the equivalent to Lord, peers of the realm, if nothing else, terms of deference...as in SNLs Garrett Morris' announcing Lord and Lady Douchebag...hardly subservient...Resentment of the term, IMHO, just shows ingnorance of the facts...I hear many a "lady" but hardly ever a "lord" unless it's followed by "help me"...

Now ifn ya' wants to see smoke come from the ears upon hearing a particular appellation, just wait 'til the first time some snotty, gum-poppin' salesgirl (and I'm sure we'll hear more about that) calls a woman "Ma'am"...

jimHJJ(...yaaaa-hooo...getout the way...)

[GMichael]

...tell that to Jerry Lewis when he calls after some "L-a-a-d-y-y-y!"...

Odd thing is Lady is the equivalent to Lord, peers of the realm, if nothing else, terms of deference...as in SNLs Garrett Morris' announcing Lord and Lady Douchebag...hardly subservient...Resentment of the term, IMHO, just shows ingnorance of the facts...I hear many a "lady" but hardly ever a "lord" unless it's followed by "help me"...

Now ifn ya' wants to see smoke come from the ears upon hearing a particular appellation, just wait 'til the first time some snotty, gum-poppin' salesgirl (and I'm sure we'll hear more about that) calls a woman "Ma'am"...

jimHJJ(...yaaaa-hooo...getout the way...)

Oh, I'm not saying that I agree with them. I always thought of being a lady as a good thing. And Jerry is even older than I am. Whole different world back then.

[kexodusc]

Never thought much about using "Lady". I've never met a female who objected to the term "lady". I have met many who don't like being called "girls". I got called out on it awhile back. I call a lot of my male friends "boys", I feel it conveys a sense of camaraderie, but I guess that doesn't exist with "girls". Fair enough.
Anyway, the historicity of these terms does not necessarily validate or invalidate their use today. Values and beliefs are always changin'...for better or worse.

[JohnMichael]

I know women who do not like the title of lady and have explained why. Out of respect to them I would not call them lady or use the word in their presence. Many tiltes have been applied to me through the years that demean and degrade me. Oh there is that _ _ _. I am so much more than a label. I do not like words or titles that suppress the potential of human beings. Lady might seem respectful until you know it offends someone and when you continue to use it in their presence you are no longer respectful.

[Resident Loser]

Oh, I'm not saying that I agree with them. I always thought of being a lady as a good thing. And Jerry is even older than I am. Whole different world back then.

...understand that GM...just using your quote as a point of reference...sorry for any confusion...

And Kex, it's OK for the girls use the term "girls" when chatting amongst themselves, even if they are 80yr old "Ladies who lunch"...so that familiarity seems to be okee-dokee...just another episode of do as I say, not as I do...

Strikes me as rather funny some folks have to do the PC two-step and dance on tippy-toes so as not to offend and yet at the same time are the last legitimate target for nearly everyone else...

jimHJJ(...misanthropy anyone?...)

[Resident Loser]

I know women who do not like the title of lady and have explained why. Out of respect to them I would not call them lady or use the word in their presence. Many tiltes have been applied to me through the years that demean and degrade me. Oh there is that _ _ _. I am so much more than a label. I do not like words or titles that suppress the potential of human beings. Lady might seem respectful until you know it offends someone and when you continue to use it in their presence you are no longer respectful.

...what would they like?...Until they tell me it's Pat or Morgan or Drew or some other androgynous name, what's it to be? Hey buddy? Or hey you?...We've all had it drummed into our collective subconscious that Miss or Mrs. is a sexist plot and in contemporary business correspondence the word is Ms. but it doesn't quite roll of the tongue, do it? Do we refer to them as "the one's over there"? Space Cowboy? Gangster of Love? Maurice? Butch? Or do the rappers and Imus actually have it right?

???? "suppress the potential"? Lady is repressive? That mindset speaks more of the addressee than the addressor...

jimHJJ(...pardon my gutteral, sexist foray, but lady, ain't that a b!tch...)

[JohnMichael]

My point is simply that if someone has shared with you that a term you felt was respectful is not to them then do not address them in that way.

[kexodusc]

My point is simply that if someone has shared with you that a term you felt was respectful is not to them then do not address them in that way.

Yeah, Jim.......(mutters under breath) moron. :ciappa:

[GMichael]

...understand that GM...just using your quote as a point of reference...sorry for any confusion...



My feelings were not hurt at all. But thanks for worrying. It shows your softer side. Keep it up and you may have to change that moniker of yours.

Oh dang! There goes another meter. I may have to start buying in bulk.

[Resident Loser]

My feelings were not hurt at all. But thanks for worrying. It shows your softer side. Keep it up and you may have to change that moniker of yours.

Oh dang! There goes another meter. I may have to start buying in bulk.

...I've inadvertently shown a softer side, then my moniker is even more appropriate...

Bite me b!tch...

jimHJJ(...there, that's better...)

[ForeverAutumn]

I know women who do not like the title of lady and have explained why. Out of respect to them I would not call them lady or use the word in their presence. Many tiltes have been applied to me through the years that demean and degrade me. Oh there is that _ _ _. I am so much more than a label. I do not like words or titles that suppress the potential of human beings. Lady might seem respectful until you know it offends someone and when you continue to use it in their presence you are no longer respectful.

Very well said JM. I couldn't agree more. I see Lady as a term of respect, but if I knew that someone else didn't see it that way, I wouldn't use it when speaking of them.


We've all had it drummed into our collective subconscious that Miss or Mrs. is a sexist plot and in contemporary business correspondence the word is Ms. but it doesn't quite roll of the tongue, do it?

I wholeheartedly disagree. Why change your status from Miss to Missus when you get married? Men don't change from or to Mister upon marriage. It all goes back to the woman giving up her individuality when she becomes property of a man through marriage. It's an outdated way of thinking. Women became equal status citizens in the US and Canada a long time ago (well, not so long ago actually).

I used Ms. before I got married and I continue to use it afterwards and it's always rolled off my tongue just fine. As you say, these terms are used mostly in business situations. Frankly, in these situations, it's nobody's damn business if I'm married or not. Other than for income tax and a few other legal purposes, what difference could it possibly make?

[GMichael]

she becomes property of a man through marriage.
it's always rolled off my tongue just fine.

Must............ fight ............... off ............ dirty ............. thoughts............

Don't..................... comment.

Run..........................

As always FA. Just in good fun.

Your points do not fall on deaf ears.

[ForeverAutumn]

Must............ fight ............... off ............ dirty ............. thoughts............

Don't..................... comment.

Run..........................

As always FA. Just in good fun.

Your points do not fall on deaf ears.

Perv!

[GMichael]

Perv!

Yes? You called me?

[Bernd]

She didn't keep her maiden name. She simply kept her name.

tsk. tsk. :biggrin5:


I stand corrected.:ciappa:

Jim,I certainly did not marry a maiden.:ihih: And that's a fact not an opinion and no harm done.
Which is why I don't like invented terminologies and Labels based on opinions. And as we all know, opinions are like A-holes. Everyone has one, and some even talk through them. As for pc. I think it's a disease of our time. Call a spade a spade, fat fat, white white, etc, etc.

What a strange thread "Ladies and Gentlemen".:cornut:

Peace

:16:

[GMichael]

What a strange thread "Ladies and Gentlemen".:cornut:

Peace

:16:

Hey! No name calling. :ciappa:

[Bernd]

Hey! No name calling. :ciappa:

Damn. I thought you wouldn't notice.:cornut:

[GMichael]

...I've inadvertently shown a softer side, then my moniker is even more appropriate...

Bite me b!tch...

jimHJJ(...there, that's better...)

That's it. Now I know that you have a soft side. No matter how sarcastic you get, I will always remember this day. You can go and run through the streets of NYC kicking lil' old ladies to the sidewalks. It won't make a bit of difference. I know the truth. Deep down you are really just an ol' softy. And that's how I'll see you from now on. No matter what you say.
Life may be a b!tch, but I don't bite. Much.

[GMichael]

Damn. I thought you wouldn't notice.:cornut:

Tried to sneek one past me huh?

[Resident Loser]

...with exactly what do you "wholeheartedly disagree"?


We've all had it drummed into our collective subconscious that Miss or Mrs. is a sexist plot and in contemporary business correspondence the word is Ms. but it doesn't quite roll of the tongue, do it?

That the term Miss or Mrs. is a continuing sexist plot? A tool to suppress the downtrodden?

Or perhaps that in the business world the preferable written usage is Ms.?

And I'm sorry, but saying mizzz aloud, makes my teeth rattle...and not in a good way...

Additionally, I don't recall taking exception to the use of user-preferred, post-matrimonial titles...or hyphenated surnames or (sorry) use of maiden names...again, try to negotiate any fiscal transaction without providing your mother's maiden name...

Dear Sir or Ms. is the salutation I use when writing a non-personal letter...and here is where some of the confusion that seems to have run rampant in this thread comes to the fore...There is a great difference in how we write and how we speak in day to day parlance...

In daily speech, at least in my daily verbal encounters, I certainly don't use the word "sir", unless challenging someone to a duel...or "miss", way too precious, painting pictures of pinafores and parasols...or "lady", although I have been observed saying "Hey lady, reel in your rugrats!"...or Mrs. The only person I've ever heard use that word was the super of a building in which I once lived, and he was half-in-the-bag 24/7...Like mizzz, not a comfortable word to say.

Unless I am familiar enough with the person to use a first name, I tend to simply use the gender-inspecific "excuse me" or "pardon me" as an opening line...Perhaps "hello"...most of the time followed by "sorry to bother/interrupt/etc." I'm nothing if not well-mannered and courteous...

So when markw refers to one of the female persuasion as a lady (in the written word) it's not like he's addressing someone as "lady" (which can be misconstrued)...or repeatedly saying the word to her, causing irreparable damage to her psyche...it's a whole 'nother construct...

And JM, you would never use the L(ady) word in front of someone who eschews it's usage? How would you refer to another woman as in "see that lady over there"?...give us a break, just grow a pair will you...

And Bernd, like it or not, she was a maiden at some point in her life...

And FA, some final food for thought...your name...your maiden name is actually your father's name...so if you wanted to be true to your ideals you should have chosen a new name for yourself after you left the confines of his domicile...perhaps Occasionally Springtime?

jimHJJ(...or something like that...)

[Bernd]

Quote[And Bernd, like it or not, she was a maiden at some point in her life...]

.....way back when.:)

Peace

:16:

[JohnMichael]

[QUOTE=Resident Loser

And JM, you would never use the L(ady) word in front of someone who eschews it's usage? How would you refer to another woman as in "see that lady over there"?...give us a break, just grow a pair will you...


jimHJJ(...or something like that...)[/QUOTE]



If growing a pair will cause me to be insensitive to others I will just leave them in the jar.

[ForeverAutumn]

...with exactly what do you "wholeheartedly disagree"?



That the term Miss or Mrs. is a continuing sexist plot? A tool to suppress the downtrodden?

Or perhaps that in the business world the preferable written usage is Ms.?

And I'm sorry, but saying mizzz aloud, makes my teeth rattle...and not in a good way...

Additionally, I don't recall taking exception to the use of user-preferred, post-matrimonial titles...or hyphenated surnames or (sorry) use of maiden names...again, try to negotiate any fiscal transaction without providing your mother's maiden name...

I interpreted your post as being that you did take exception to the use of the term Ms. If I misinterpreted, I apologize.


And FA, some final food for thought...your name...your maiden name is actually your father's name...so if you wanted to be true to your ideals you should have chosen a new name for yourself after you left the confines of his domicile...perhaps Occasionally Springtime?

I will concede that perhaps a woman can have a maiden name (as much as I hate the phrase) if she also has a married name. If, however, she has not changed her name then isn't a name just a name?

Everytime someone asks me whether I kept my maiden name I cringe. My response is always, "Yes, I kept my own name". I guess I feel about maiden name as JohnMichael's friends feel about Lady. Just make me barefoot and pregnant and send me out to milk the cows.

When I was named, my father and mother shared the same last name. My brothers also have this name. I was given the family name and I have no issue with it. Now, having said that...my husband and I have different last names. Had we decided to have children there would have been long, heated discussions about who's last name our children would have. For many reasons, I would have wanted them to have mine.

[ForeverAutumn]

And JM, you would never use the L(ady) word in front of someone who eschews it's usage? How would you refer to another woman as in "see that lady over there"?...give us a break, just grow a pair will you...

Now you're just being an ass.

[kexodusc]

If growing a pair will cause me to be insensitive to others I will just leave them in the jar.

Oh come on...I don't sense any malicious or evil intent in RL's questioning..perhaps, a bit of frustration with the evolution of a language from the standards taught to him, but that's it. Who doesn't get annoyed with the PC movement from time to time?
We're all friends here I think, and without the intent to slander or degrade, these questions are somewhat interesting to follow.

I'll answer the question RL directed at you from my perspective:
"And JM, you would never use the L(ady) word in front of someone who eschews it's usage? How would you refer to another woman as in "see that lady over there"?...give us a break, just grow a pair will you..." (pretty funny btw)

To this, I referred to the two most important females in my life. Mom and wife. The both said (independently I might add) that lady was preferable to woman, girl, or anything else in that regard. They'd rather be called a lady than a woman when referred to. Couldn't explain why except lady implied respect, woman, girl, Mrs, Mzzzzz etc, didn't.

If nothing else, this would suggest a gross inconsistency from one female to the next. Some prefer lady, some don't. How is the unsuspecting man to know exactly what to use in formal everyday speech? All we can do is draw on the past use of the language as a guide. The evolution of the words we use is beyond our ability to control, and certainly past meanings are subject to change. I dare say most of us don't use the term "lady" in an insulting or derogatory way. Quite the opposite.

Yeah we've got some lingering syntax in the language from the dark ages of civil rights, but they lose their meaning when the context and intent of their use changes as well.



wholeheartedly disagree. Why change your status from Miss to Missus when you get married? Men don't change from or to Mister upon marriage.

Actually, for quite sometime, the title "Master" was switched to Mister upon marriage. Prior to that, titles weren't given to boys older than 13 years old until they were married or graduated from school.

I'm all for arriving at consensus here. For both genders. I'm only called "Mister" when accompanied by my last name...was seldom referred to as "Master", rarely called "Sir" etc.

Perhaps the moderators could take the time prepare the AR.com PC-guide-to-gender-based-title-usuage?

[JohnMichael]

First I do not know if I would notice most women but I would refer to her as a woman. As in look at that woman over there. Usually followed by who did her makeup or what was she thinking when she chose that outfit. I would not know if she was a lady until she elevated her pinky while sipping tea.

As far as PC language I am not a fan. I do not need a special way to tell someone they are fat. I would never feel the need to tell them. I know and they know so why mention it. Not everything that pops into your head needs to be verbalized. I prefer to call people by their name or in any way they like to be addressed.

Will growing a pair give my opinion more authority?

[Resident Loser]

Now you're just being an ass.

...we may have an answer to the question here...

FA which part of my non-PC remarks did you find brings out the posterior in me?

Sorry...someone who refuses to use a commonplace, inoffensive word in the presence of another person who personally disdains it's use, needs to grow a pair...What words are next on the hit list? Will I get smacked if I say whipped cream? Fur? Tobacco? Kumquat? It goes way beyond "sensitivity"...it's doormat time...paricularly when it's for near-hersterical (note the PC usage) and political reasons...Those who eschew the use of such words in favor of words like herstory and womyn obviously have an agenda...dare I suggest a bias...But no, no...that could never be...

jimHJJ(...yeah, right...)

[kexodusc]

Will growing a pair give my opinion more authority?

I dunno, but if you figure out exactly how one grows a pair, I'd love to know...on second thought, never mind. :cornut:

[ForeverAutumn]

...we may have an answer to the question here...

FA which part of my non-PC remarks did you find brings out the posterior in me?

Sorry...someone who refuses to use a commonplace, inoffensive word in the presence of another person who personally disdains it's use, needs to grow a pair.

You're kidding right? I can't decide if you actually believe this or if you're just trying to get me riled up.

Either way...you're being an ass.


It goes way beyond "sensitivity"...it's doormat time...paricularly when it's for near-hersterical (note the PC usage) and political reasons...Those who eschew the use of such words in favor of words like herstory and womyn obviously have an agenda...dare I suggest a bias...But no, no...that could never be...

I agree with you there. But we're not just talking about one word anymore. We're talking about respecting someone's feelings.

[nobody]

Some interesting comments.

I actually would never refer to a woman as a Lady in a positive manner, just not part of the way I talk. If I were to refer to a "lady" it would more likely be derragatory, more like....look Lady, you want the deal ot not, I ain't got time to stand here with ya all day...

I would also like to say that if a woman can be offened at the word woman since it is merely the word man with a suffixed appendage, I will now become offended at the word man as it mreely refers to me as some sort of incomplete woman. Accurate though that may be, I am hearitly offended.

Miss or Mrs bugs the crap out of me and seems completely antiquated. I use Ms both in writing and out loud in all cases. Don't make me sit there and make philosophical decisions just to say your name. Mr. is perfect in its simplicity. Hell, I'd be fine if we used Mr. for both sexes. Just simplify this and let me know what I am supposed to use. Until then, I'm sticking with the easiest solution which is to use a single term for each. A single catch-all term would actually be simplist and preferable...it would also relive problems of writing to someone you've never spoken with or seen when they have a unisex name. But, like the metric system in America, I see this notion as dead in the water for at least several more decades no matter how much sense it makes.

The hyphening of names is another thing that I find annoying because it's just for show since they give the kid a single name anyway, generally sticking with the patriarchal tradition. If it really meant something, they'd not be so traditional with the offspring. Personally, I think upon marriage the couple should just select a brand new last name to use. It could be a nice little bonding exercise and an introduction to the much-needed art of discussion and compromise in marriage.

[kexodusc]

. Had we decided to have children there would have been long, heated discussions about who's last name our children would have. For many reasons, I would have wanted them to have mine.

Aww crap....never really thought about that...I can see this being a bigger deal for her than me. Hmmm. I'll let her decide. If I have kids, their actions in life will define them more than their names. My last name's been nothing but a bother for me.

I'd like to give them a 3rd neutral name actually...something cool and tough sounding. Blaze, or Knight! That'd be awesome.

[GMichael]

I have a couple of friends who were toying with the idea of coming up with a neutral name so to speak. I think they went traditional in the end, but he was up for it.

[markw]

All because I paid Ms. Autumn a compliment by referring to her as a lady. And, I believe she took it as such.

And, doncha know, some people actually wanted to take offense at that! Actually, if anyone had a right to take offense to this, it was her. All you others are just trying to jump on the PC bandwagon. And, funny thing, some later decried PC to boot.

And, for all the posturing I’ve seen here, In all my fifty-eight years I’ve NEVER ran into a “female” who did not see the term "lady" when used in the proper context as a compliment and, believe me, I’ve encountered quite a diverse spectrum of beliefs.

As for sexist? Well, it does imply one of the female gender, just as it’s counterpart implies a male. If that’s sexist, then take that up with Webster. If you want to change the language, have at it, but until you succeed, expect to have a pretty miserable, hateful life. Once you get done with English, you've got many, many other languages to contend with. Good luck with the romance languages.

All because someone one wants to pay you a compliment. Fancy that. If that’s your biggest worry in this life then you’re pretty lucky.

Now, before you get yer panties in a bunch (is that a sexist remark?), one should take time to understand the word’s usage and take it in context. Now, if someone were to yell out in a store “HEY LADY! CONTROL YER DROOLING ANKLEBITERS!” or “HEY LADY! NICE BOOBS!” then you might have a case.

But, if, when referring to a female in a manner such as “She’s quite a lady”, or, as I say to my granddaughter, “What a fine young lady you’re turning into” someone finds that sexist or offensive, I question his or her thought processes. That’s looking for trouble where there is none and I welcome someone confronting me (or my son) on this. Everyone, bar none, realizes this is an accolade, not a demeaning remark. Again, if not, then they either have an agenda or a personal problem, which is not my concern.

But, rest assured, I doubt anyone would intentionally” insult” someone by calling them a lady (assuming a female). That’s not a sexist issue, that’s a manners issue.

But, by the same token, how would they know unless that person made that clear in the first place? ...Sounds like a trap to me. You talk to what you assume is a female (Ever see Crocodile Dundee?) and in the course of the conversation you attempt to compliment her by saying “you’re quite a lady” and she pulls that .38 outta the purse.

But, then again, perhaps some find “lady” offensive or sexist because nobody ever used that term in reference to them. …And probably never will. One of the prerequisites to using that term is that it be directed at a female and, one must be sure of the gender before using it.

I won’t even get started on that “womyn” thing. Sounds like a massive case of penis envy to me.

What bunch of sanctimonious PC posers this thread has brought out. Oh, and, John, if they haven’t manifested themselves by now, odds are they never will.

[GMichael]

This is a tough crowd.

[kexodusc]

What bunch of sanctimonious PC posers this thread has brought out. Oh, and, John, if they haven’t manifested themselves by now, odds are they never will.


Man, what I thought was a somewhat humorous, light-hearded threat really got a nasty tone somewhere along the line...whew...:confused5:

What exactly is a PC poser, and how many and who specifically are included in this "bunch"? There's been what? 8 posters maybe since the first use of the term "lady in this thread" including yourself.

[ForeverAutumn]

“HEY LADY! NICE BOOBS!”

For the record...I'd still consider it a compliment. ;)

:lol:

[GMichael]

For the record...I'd still consider it a compliment. ;)

:lol:

I think I'd be offended if someone yelled that at me.:incazzato:

[markw]

Man, what I thought was a somewhat humorous, light-hearded threat really got a nasty tone somewhere along the line...whew...:confused5:

What exactly is a PC poser, and how many and who specifically are included in this "bunch"? There's been what? 8 posters maybe since the first use of the term "lady in this thread" including yourself.Basically those that implied that the term "lady" is a sexist term and, by association, that I am a sexist. Anybody that takes it upon themselves to feel insulted when the subject of a statment is not is, IMNSHO, simply a PC poser. That term also applies to anyone who tries to twist what was obviously a statement of respect into something negative.

[kexodusc]

Basically those that implied that the term "lady" is a sexist term and, by association, that I am a sexist. Anybody that takes it upon themselves to feel insulted when the subject of a statment is not is, IMNSHO, simply a PC poser. That term also applies to anyone who tries to twist what was obviously a statement of respect into something negative.

I see...I think reduces the bunch to a banana or two...
I still love ya, man....:thumbsup:

[bobsticks]

Interesting thread.

I can, to an extent, see valid points in both lines of argument.

If someone had specifically expressed an aversion for a certain phrase in reference to themselves I wouldn't use it. Fair is fair. I wouldn't want someone to say, "Hey, nice job steaming pile of monkey pus." in reference to me. That's a phrase I don't care for.

At the same time, if I have no forwarning and am using a phrase that has traditionally been one of respect, and is contextually and tonally the same, what's the alternative?

If a co-worker hands me a much-needed pen, what's wrong with "Thank you, young lady" provided that it is said as a genuine display of good manners and not a precursor to a knowing wink or a pat on the rump?

Can't say "Thank you Debra" as first name only can be implied as overly familiar and possibly harassment.

I refuse to say "Thank you Debra Barnes-Nobel, daughter of Alice, grandaughter of Prunella, and example to all Womyn" because I don't have that much time left on this planet and I don't live among British elves.

Petty bickering, historical revisionism and self-victimization before the fact take away from the impact of real-life inequities.

[PeruvianSkies]

Well she's all you'd ever want,
She's the kind they'd like to flaunt and take to dinner.
Well she always knows her place.
She's got style, she's got grace, She's a winner.
She's a Lady. Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady.
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.
Well she's never in the way
Always something nice to say, Oh what a blessing.
I can leave her on her own
Knowing she's okay alone, and there's no messing.
She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.
Talkin' about that little lady, and the lady is mine.
Well she never asks for very much and I don't refuse her.
Always treat her with respect, I never would abuse her.
What she's got is hard to find, and I don't want to lose her
Help me build a mountain from my little pile of clay. Hey, hey, hey.
Well she knows what I'm about,
She can take what I dish out, and that's not easy,
Well she knows me through and through,
She knows just what to do, and how to please me.
She's a lady. Whoa, whoa, whoa. She's a lady.
Talkin' about that little lady and the lady is mine.
Yeah yeah yeah She's a Lady
Listen to me baby, She's a Lady
Whoa whoa whoa, She's a Lady
And the Lady is mine
Yeah yeah yeah She's a Lady
Talkin about this little lady
Whoa whoa whoa whoa
Whoa and the lady is mine
Yeah yeah She's a Lady
And the Lady is mine.

Two more thoughts:

Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...
Ian Faith: Sex-IST!
David St. Hubbins: IST!

Bobbi Flekman: You put a *greased naked woman* on all fours with a dog collar around her neck, and a leash, and a man's arm extended out up to here, holding onto the leash, and pushing a black glove in her face to sniff it. You don't find that offensive? You don't find that sexist?
Ian Faith: This is *1982*, Bobbi, c'mon!
Bobbi Flekman: That's *right*, it's 1982! Get out of the '60s. We don't have this mentality anymore.
Ian Faith: Well, you should have seen the cover they *wanted* to do! It wasn't a glove, believe me.

[GMichael]

I think we just took another step towards frickin' bizarre.

[JohnMichael]

All because I paid Ms. Autumn a compliment by referring to her as a lady. And, I believe she took it as such.

And, doncha know, some people actually wanted to take offense at that! Actually, if anyone had a right to take offense to this, it was her. All you others are just trying to jump on the PC bandwagon. And, funny thing, some later decried PC to boot.

What bunch of sanctimonious PC posers this thread has brought out. Oh, and, John, if they haven’t manifested themselves by now, odds are they never will.



As I stated earlier I am more concerned about how individual people I know would like to be referred. Therefore my use of woman instead of lady. As far as PC language I do not concern myself with it but I do try to use respectful language. If a woman I am fond of would like me to bow and call her m'Lady I probably would but lady is not part of my daily vocabulary. I could certainly mention other words that I find objectionable that might rile you but I was only discussing what I learned about some women's views on the term lady. Which I chose to adopt for my manner of speaking. If we are going to discuss PC language we would need to start a whole new thread.

I did want to thank you for your concern over my anatomy. I am still trying to figure out what having a set would do for my linguistical skills.

[markw]

As I stated earlier I am more concerned about how individual people I know would like to be referred. Therefore my use of woman instead of lady..Dude, woman is a term referencing gender, something one is born with. You might a wel ljust stick with female, or is that "femayle. Lady is an attribute of behaviour, which is attained by the way one chooses to acts.


As far as PC language I do not concern myself with it but I do try to use respectful language. Oh, bullshiite. That's what this is all about. If some female objects to being noticed as a female with class, then that's their problem. Tell 'em to not look like a female then. Heck, I've seen many creatures around her I'd be hard pressed to classify as gby gender and wou;d never callrefer to as a lady. But remember, in some instances the title of lady is an assumption of class is just that. An assummption, and the term "lady" maybe is being used in an a flattering, but not earned, fashion..


If a woman I am fond of would like me to bow and call her m'Lady I probably would but lady is not part of my daily vocabulary.Perhaps you should expand your circle of friends from beyond those paranoiuds who seem to dictate your actions. There are many females with class who readily qualify as ladies. You just need to find them.


I could certainly mention other words that I find objectionable that might rile youGo for it. Show your true feelings. Be a man.


but I was only discussing what I learned about some women's views on the term lady. And there are people who believe in consuming mass quantities of mind-altering substances. I'm sure you could learn from them and they would bolster your beliefs in that area, too. The trick is in learning what's valuable to you in life on a daily basis, not only for a select closed circle.


If we are going to discuss PC language we would need to start a whole new thread.Guess what? You brought it up with that "womyn" bit. Happy?


I did want to thank you for your concern over my anatomy. I am still trying to figure out what having a set would do for my linguistical skills.Fugeddaboudit. don't sweat the small stuff. Keep 'em in the jar. Obvuiously you're ashamed of 'em.

I care about what the majority of people think, not some angry, disenfranchised minority that goes out of their way to think up ways to irritate everyone else. Perhaps if they tried to fit in with everyone else instead of trying to force everyone else to think and talk like them, and then cop a 'tude when they don't, then maybe a lot of their problems would disappear. ...not a good way to foster acceptance by the masses, guy.

No, I'm not about to change my way of thinking and speaking to placate some crazy people. I've been doing fine so far and don't feel a need to change my mind set. I manage to communicate my thoughts quite clearly and can't recall having intentionally offended anyone over the years. If I should attempt to flatter someone by referring to her as a lady (not knowing she loathes that term) and she gets offended, well, that's her little red wagon, not mine. She'll' deal with it. If not, who cares?

You can use whatever terms about me you choose. I'm secure enough in myself to not be overly concerned or hurt, particularly when considering the source. But be warned that I have a fairly extensive vocabulary too.

Believe me, unless one gives me cause to want to rile then I won't but, from what you seem to be saying, it sure seems like you and yer buds have a chip on their shoulders and are daring someone to knock it off. I seem to sense one on your shoulder for that matter.

Now, you can speak to anyone as you wish. So can I. But be aware that unless someone tells me up-front what words they are offended by, then they can take whatever I say at face value. Odds are, if they did, I would just maintain eye contact and slowly back away.

And, to put your mind at ease, I have several gay acquaintances. In fact, we're going to the premiere of one of their new plays in two weeks. Trust me, none of them would ever try to pull this prissy stuff you're trying to pull off and, know what? They use the term "lady" in exactly the same manner as I do!. Some of y'all just go looking for ways to feel offended. No wonder you have problems with the rest of the world.

[JohnMichael]

Dude, woman is a term referencing gender, something one is born with. You might a wel ljust stick with female, or is that "femayle. Lady is an attribute of behaviour, which is attained by the way one chooses to acts.

Oh, bullshiite. That's what this is all about. If some female objects to being noticed as a female with class, then that's their problem. Tell 'em to not look like a female then. Heck, I've seen many creatures around her I'd be hard pressed to classify as gby gender and wou;d never callrefer to as a lady. But remember, in some instances the title of lady is an assumption of class is just that. An assummption, and the term "lady" maybe is being used in an a flattering, but not earned, fashion..

Perhaps you should expand your circle of friends from beyond those paranoiuds who seem to dictate your actions. There are many females with class who readily qualify as ladies. You just need to find them.

Go for it. Show your true feelings. Be a man.

And there are people who believe in consuming mass quantities of mind-altering substances. I'm sure you could learn from them and they would bolster your beliefs in that area, too. The trick is in learning what's valuable to you in life on a daily basis, not only for a select closed circle.

Guess what? You brought it up with that "womyn" bit. Happy?

Fugeddaboudit. don't sweat the small stuff. Keep 'em in the jar. Obvuiously you're ashamed of 'em.

I care about what the majority of people think, not some angry, disenfranchised minority that goes out of their way to think up ways to irritate everyone else. Perhaps if they tried to fit in with everyone else instead of trying to force everyone else to think and talk like them, and then cop a 'tude when they don't, then maybe a lot of their problems would disappear. ...not a good way to foster acceptance by the masses, guy.

No, I'm not about to change my way of thinking and speaking to placate some crazy people. I've been doing fine so far and don't feel a need to change my mind set. I manage to communicate my thoughts quite clearly and can't recall having intentionally offended anyone over the years. If I should attempt to flatter someone by referring to her as a lady (not knowing she loathes that term) and she gets offended, well, that's her little red wagon, not mine. She'll' deal with it. If not, who cares?

You can use whatever terms about me you choose. I'm secure enough in myself to not be overly concerned or hurt, particularly when considering the source. But be warned that I have a fairly extensive vocabulary too.

Believe me, unless one gives me cause to want to rile then I won't but, from what you seem to be saying, it sure seems like you and yer buds have a chip on their shoulders and are daring someone to knock it off. I seem to sense one on your shoulder for that matter.

Now, you can speak to anyone as you wish. So can I. But be aware that unless someone tells me up-front what words they are offended by, then they can take whatever I say at face value. Odds are, if they did, I would just maintain eye contact and slowly back away.

And, to put your mind at ease, I have several gay acquaintances. In fact, we're going to the premiere of one of their new plays in two weeks. Trust me, none of them would ever try to pull this prissy stuff you're trying to pull off and, know what? They use the term "lady" in exactly the same manner as I do!. Some of y'all just go looking for ways to feel offended. No wonder you have problems with the rest of the world.


Mark you sure like to type.

[ForeverAutumn]

If I should attempt to flatter someone by referring to her as a lady (not knowing she loathes that term) and she gets offended, well, that's her little red wagon, not mine. She'll' deal with it. If not, who cares?


Evidently, you care. You were concerned about whether I was offended, were you not?


And, to put your mind at ease, I have several gay acquaintances. In fact, we're going to the premiere of one of their new plays in two weeks. Trust me, none of them would ever try to pull this prissy stuff you're trying to pull off and, know what? They use the term "lady" in exactly the same manner as I do!. Some of y'all just go looking for ways to feel offended. No wonder you have problems with the rest of the world.

With all due respect, I think that in the bigger picture, it's the rest of the world that has the problems.

But that's a whole other conversation.

[markw]

Evidently, you care. You were concerned about whether I was offended, were you not?Up until a few days ago I never thought a woman could take offense at being referred to as a lady. And, as you so astutely deduced, it wwas intended s a compliment. Had I offended you, I would have aplolgized.

But, after this thread, and talking to another expert in this area, I now have no problems referring to a woman who strikes me as having class and elegance as a lady. Unless, of course, they inform me ahead of time they find it offensive, in which case I'll simply avoid her at all costs. There are deeper issues afoot. But, methinks a woman who meets all the requirements to rate that from me would take it as the compliment it was intended to be.


With all due respect, I think that in the bigger picture, it's the rest of the world that has the problems.There has to be accommodations on both sides, but this sort of divisive behaviour does nothing to bring the two sides together. When people take compliments and twist them around to be insults, all logic fails. that's looking for trouble where there is none. All this picayune semantic fluff does is irritate and drive the wedge even deeper.

[ForeverAutumn]

I get what you're saying. It just seemed to me like JohnMichael was getting booted for saying that he would not use a phrase that he knew would offend someone. Obviously, if it's a common phrase, not notably offensive, and you don't know that a person would find it offensive, you can't be faulted for using it. But continuing to use it, knowing that it's offensive (even if it's for reasons that you deem silly) would be disrespectful. I'm having trouble seeing why anyone would have a problem with refraining from using certain phrases in front of certain people. That's all.

This has been a very interesting thread. Lots of varying opinions. The stuff that makes the world go around.

And, despite it all, I am still not offended by being called a Lady. And I hope that my reputation remains intact. :)

[markw]

Obviously, if it's a common phrase, not notably offensive, and you don't know that a person would find it offensive, you can't be faulted for using it.My point exactly.


But continuing to use it, knowing that it's offensive (even if it's for reasons that you deem silly) would be disrespectful.And, being a gentleman, I would also.


I'm having trouble seeing why anyone would have a problem with refraining from using certain phrases in front of certain people. That's allAnd, so do I. In spite of that transpired here, I am of the firm belief that the term "lady" is offensive to such a small, small segment of society that I will continue to freely use it as I deem fit.

Unless, of course, someone indicates to me that it's offensive but, in all honestly, I've never encountered anyone (save for two posters here) who see it as such.


This has been a very interesting thread. Lots of varying opinions. The stuff that makes the world go around.

And, despite it all, I am still not offended by being called a Lady. And I hope that my reputation remains intact. :)In my opinion, you always were, and will always be, a lady in the finest sense of the word. And your reputation is safe with me.

[JohnMichael]

It just seemed to me like JohnMichael was getting booted for saying that he would not use a phrase that he knew would offend someone.

This has been a very interesting thread. Lots of varying opinions. The stuff that makes the world go around.

And, despite it all, I am still not offended by being called a Lady. And I hope that my reputation remains intact. :)



All because of saying I learned something of interest (to me) about something from others.

[markw]

All because of saying I learned something of interest (to me) about something from others.It's all because I referred to FA as a lady, which at least one person disputed.

[GMichael]

It's all because I referred to FA as a lady, which at least one person disputed.

I think that FA is a fine lady who spices up this forum. She brings class as well as down to earth (like one of the guys) humor. I always click on any thread I see her name on, regardless of what the subject is.
It doesn't hurt that she seems to like most of the same music I do. Go Rush. Go Kansas... Go PF... Can we get a "Go Yes"...?

[JohnMichael]

I think that FA is a fine lady




and one heck of a woman.

[PeruvianSkies]

I think that FA is a fine lady who spices up this forum. She brings class as well as down to earth (like one of the guys) humor. I always click on any thread I see her name on, regardless of what the subject is.
It doesn't hurt that she seems to like most of the same music I do. Go Rush. Go Kansas... Go PF... Can we get a "Go Yes"...?

I guess that makes you her forum stalker.

[GMichael]

I guess that makes you her forum stalker.


Hey FA,

What do you think? Mind if I stalk you? That would make me number 53,274, right?

[Rich-n-Texas]

DAM!!!

I wish I'd seen this thread while it was still hot-n-juicy! :(

[JohnMichael]

DAM!!!

I wish I'd seen this thread while it was still hot-n-juicy! :(




Ya, all that is left now is the group hug.

[ForeverAutumn]

Wow! Not sure what I did to deserve all the kind words, but thanks! You sure know how to make a girl (lady/woman/bird/broad/gal/skirt) feel special.

I feel the same about all of you too. Well, I wouldn't call you ladies, but Gentlemen, each and every one of you (unless, of course, you find that offensive, then you're just a great guy).

And GMichael, let's just call you a friend. Stalker is so...well...psychotic!

[GMichael]

Wow! Not sure what I did to deserve all the kind words, but thanks! You sure know how to make a girl (lady/woman/bird/broad/gal/skirt) feel special.

I feel the same about all of you too. Well, I wouldn't call you ladies, but Gentlemen, each and every one of you (unless, of course, you find that offensive, then you're just a great guy).

And GMichael, let's just call you a friend. Stalker is so...well...psychotic!

I feel so special.

[Rich-n-Texas]

Was the term "gal" covered? AFAIK, that's an accepted identifier, right?