Where's SoundAdvice when you need him?!?

[topspeed]

:lol: :lol: :lol:
From the WTF?!? Files, I give you the latest and greatest in tweaks:

http://pic6.audiogon.com/i/a/f/1156483293.jpg
Description
20-Pounds of high density pure white marble stone is combined with a unique stone based vibration dampening soft bonding powder. Feed Moon Rocks to your speakers through the ports - instructions included. Designed for use in Aural Ersatz TAD-803's or any speaker with a bottom port (located below drivers). Your ears and speakers will thank you! Another fine Bizzy Bee Tube Audio Design Poduct. Only sold Mail Order Promotes Low Prices. Moon Rocks auction terms: (2) measured 10-lb containers with instructions: Flat rate $22 insured FedEx Ground to any US-48 state. US-48 bids only. New Retail $99.00

I'm no engineer, but isn't pouring rocks into your tuned ports a bad idea?!? :confused:


http://pic6.audiogon.com/i/a/f/1159698730.jpg
Description
This is a $1 No Reserve Auction for a brand new Promethean Base direct from manufacturer, Machina Dynamica. This is our cost effective solution to vibration isolation for CD, DVD and SACD players, preamps, integrated amps, DACs and moderate weight turntables. This Promethean employs 3 Large DH Cones under lower plate, two (2) 19x16 maple/birch ply plates and 3 Special Helical Springs. Weight limit for component is 60 lb using 3 springs; components heavier than 60 lb require additional spring(s). Special Helical Springs now incorporate viscoelastic damping. Resonant frequencies for Promethean Base 2 Hz in 4 directions of motion. Stunning dynamics, bass entension, midrange and treble clarity/smoothness. New retail $249.00

"Special Helical Springs?!?" So that's what they call cheap-a$$ springs between to pieces of plywood. Gotcha :thumbsup:







and last but not least (for which no comments will be given, nor are needed)...

http://gon5.audiogon.com/i/a/f/1152372664.jpg
Description
This is a $1 No Reserve auction for a set of two (2) Tru-Tone Duplex Outlet Covers, the brand new product from Machina Dynamica. These pure white Duplex Covers are intended to replace all steel, wood, plastic and other types of duplex outlet covers in the listening room - including non-audio outlets, even unused outlets. The real significance of these Duplex Covers is apparent when at least 3-4 are installed around the room.

Tru-Tone Dupelx Outlet Covers provide a substantial improvement in dynamics, bass extention, upper bass and midrange detail and transient speed. 3-4 Duplex Covers per room recommended. Tru-Tone Duplex Covers operate as resonance control devices for both the electrical duplex receptacle and wall structure.

Tru-Tone Duplex Covers pure white and 2.75" wide by 3 1/2" tall.

More info, including customer comments, at:

www.machinadynamica.com/machina44.htm

Machina Dynamica's Direct Price is $30 per Tru Tone Duplex Cover. We also now have Quadruple Outlet Covers at $40 each

[GMichael]

There's a sucker born every minute. And every second some fool is gonna try to take advantage of that.

Hey, I've got this buzzing in my speakers now that I added the rocks to my ports. What's up with that?

[N. Abstentia]

Yeah, fill your speaker enclosure up with rocks! Those drivers don't need any type of enclosure volume to operate properly. In fact, the smaller the box, the better they sound!

[tin ear]

:rolleyes: :frown2:

[PeruvianSkies]

Here is what I LOVE ....when you go onto their website to check out the $.093 el-cheap-o Home Depot wall outlet covers, oops I mean Tru-Tone Duplex Covers you can see "reviews", which are so typical...

Let's see Monica, Jim and Ian all have marvelous reviews, which were all conveniently written in a 2 month period, 1 in May and 2 in July. These are probably the three people that work in their customer service department, if they even exist. Why didn't they just go for names like Mike, Bob, and Tom.

The rock idea...well, it's even dumber than the pet rock phenomenon and that's an achievement!

[dean_martin]

are those guitar picks on the Promothean Base? I have a couple of packs of those. Where I am supposed to put'em? on the speakers? under the amp? up my arse? heck, I'll try anything once.

[topspeed]

up my arse? heck, I'll try anything once.
Ummm...I dunno if I'd try that!

Here's the funny/sad thing, guys; There are active bids on this shyte on Audiogon. Yes, people actually are bidding against each other to buy special wall plates :rolleyes:

[PeruvianSkies]

Well, I am sure those that are bidding on the wall plates have more issues at hand. I mean, they probably don't even have proper acoustical treatment for their setup, yet they are bidding on wall plates to help their sound. Morons.

[GMichael]

are those guitar picks up my arse? heck, I'll try anything once.

Will this help you hit (or hear) the high notes better?

Who's a pickin" and who's a ginnin"?

[dean_martin]

Ummm...I dunno if I'd try that!

Here's the funny/sad thing, guys; There are active bids on this shyte on Audiogon. Yes, people actually are bidding against each other to buy special wall plates :rolleyes:

thanks, speedy. I can use a little guidance sometimes.

I think it's sad this stuff is on audiogon. I do more looking than trading there, but I've always been under the impression that audiogon held a tight leash and wouldn't allow such foolishness.

[bobsticks]

Wouldn't it be possible--and I am posing this thought out of a sense of optimism for mankind--that perhaps the three "reviewers" in the customer service department are placing bids to elevate that oh-so- necessary esprit de corps among audiophools for their rocks and trinkets?

[GMichael]

Hello? Is this my local Hi-Fi store?
Yes, how may I help you?
I need more rocks for my ports. I was only able to fill half of my speakers.
Sure, rocks, check.
I could also use some sonic snot.
OK, 2oz or 5oz?
The 2 oz will be fine. Do you have a dead cat also?
Nope, fresh out. We've got dead racoons though. They cost a little more but work much better.
Cool, send two.
OK, anything else?
No thank you. What's my total.
Uhm, $250 per oz for the rocks (kaa-ching)
Sonic snot at $750.00 per oz (kaa-ching)
Two dead racoons at $1500 each (kaa-ching)
That will be $5500 plus $12 freight.
Oh? $12 for freight? That's a little high isn't it? I'll just come pick it up.
Right, your name sir?
Do-I-look-like-a-sucker?
OK, Mr. Sucker. Your order will be ready when you get here.
Thanks, I'll be over on Saturday morning.

[bobsticks]

"NO, That's Mr. Amiasucker, you elitist jerk!!

[topspeed]

Hey Mike?

Pick me up a bottle of magic pixie dust while you're there. My mids need clarifying.

I'll pay you back. Just let me know where you want me to back up the truck load of bullion. Hate to damage your new house and all...

[musicoverall]

...and therefore, we're likely to try things that others wouldn't consider. The only difference between us is where our BS Meter starts going crazy. Some start theirs at the types of items you listed, some start at cables and others believe that nothing outside of speakers, room acoustics and music software is important.

I can assure you that people have tried the things you mentioned and perceived an improvement. As for me, I stop at cables but only because I just can't fathom fancy outlets and rocks in speaker ports. They may very well work for all I know but I just can't stoop to the appropriate level of craziness to find out. Hell, even if they DO work, I don't wanna try 'em! Most people already think I'm a rubber room candidate because my amp cost as much as their entire (rack) system. Different strokes....

[musicoverall]

The Sonic Snot was funny but my favorite part is this:

>That will be $5500 plus $12 freight.
Oh? $12 for freight? That's a little high isn't it? I'll just come pick it up.<

The guy probably drove 100 miles to save $12 in freight but he doesn't mind the $5500. LMAO! :lol:

[GMichael]

Bob,
I think that may be a long lost relative of mine. May it stay that way.
Thanks for noticing my jerk status. Glad to know that someone cares.

Yo Top,
A bottle of magic pixie dust? Sure, what flavor? The truck load of bullion will be payment enough. Drop it off up front. You don't have to use the back door anymore. No John! This was not for you.

Music,
That part, sadly, is true from personal experience with some of our customers. People! Can't shoot'em.

[nightflier]

Machina Dynamica? Deus ex machina.

[Dusty Chalk]

I'm going to start saying, "you must have rocks in your enclosure". People will understand what I mean.

[basite]

sure, rocks in the enclosure, really, let's try this,
1) get yourself a bucket of water,
2) turn on your precious really bad-a$$ system, empty the bucket of water over your amplifier and other electronic stuff you paid alot of money for

this way your system will be cooled better so you can crank up the volume a little higher without overheating your amp.

*for the "rocks in enclosure" users, now also try Cement, available at your local crap store*

[JohnMichael]

[QUOTE=GMichael]

You don't have to use the back door anymore. No John! This was not for you.




Here I am innocently reading the posts in a thread when all of a sudden I swell with pride to see that I am mentioned. :prrr:

[GMichael]

[QUOTE=GMichael]

You don't have to use the back door anymore. No John! This was not for you.




Here I am innocently reading the posts in a thread when all of a sudden I swell with pride to see that I am mentioned. :prrr:

Watch that swelling sir. And please don't piont that thing at me.:eek6:

[bobsticks]

Is that a bottle of Magic Pixie Snot in his pocket, or is he just hapy to see you?

[GMichael]

Is that a bottle of Magic Pixie Snot in his pocket, or is he just hapy to see you?

I vote for the Pixie Snot. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Uh, strike that. Make that, It's a tube of Snot. I'm sure of it.

[N. Abstentia]

Well rest assured, it's snot. Where it came from we don't know, but it's for sure snot.

[audio_dude]

hmm, i've heard ancient egyptcian pharoh vomit works MIRACLES on that lucrative mid-bass section! ya, its a little pricey at $42 999 per oz. but thats what you pay for great sound!

[basite]

question: would there actually be anyone that has buyed this crap?? (the rocks, the other things that won't work)

if there is one who buyed it, shall we create an award for him or something,
AR awards: the biggest idiot ever knewn by mankind or something?

[GMichael]

question: would there actually be anyone that has buyed this crap?? (the rocks, the other things that won't work)

if there is one who buyed it, shall we create an award for him or something,
AR awards: the biggest idiot ever knewn by mankind or something?

More than a few companies are selling this kind of crap. There must be many customers to support them. So, instead of an award for one person who bought something like this, you'll need a whole town to hold them in. Maybe San Fran., or NYC are available.

[topspeed]

question: would there actually be anyone that has buyed this crap?? (the rocks, the other things that won't work)

Actually, there was a guy here that tried a few tweaks such as CD goo and whatnot, although nothing as mundane as the socket covers. I won't say who it was, but despite our logic, he was hell-bent on finding out for himself. $50 per ounce later, he discovered what we told him all along. Cie la vie!

[markw]

More than a few companies are selling this kind of crap. There must be many customers to support them. So, instead of an award for one person who bought something like this, you'll need a whole town to hold them in. Maybe San Fran., or NYC are available.We've got our hands full with the nutzos from NYC already. We don't need any more. ;)