Songs about masturbation?

[jrhymeammo]

Give me songs about masturbation. I can think of 3 and that's about it. I'm Japanese American so go easy on that one song............

[nobody]

Orgasm Addict by the Buzzcocks comes to mind.

[Finch Platte]

Give me songs about masturbation. I can think of 3 and that's about it. I'm Japanese American so go easy on that one song............

Howzabout Jackson Browne's Rosie?

She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks rolled up
She was sniffing all around
Like a half grown female pup
She wasn't hard to talk to
Looked like she had nowhere to go
So I gave her my pass
So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me
And I got her a beer
While I mixed that sound on stage
So the band could hear
The more I watched her watch them play
The less I could think of to say
And when they walked off stage
The drummer swept that girl away

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring
When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

Well I guess I might have known from the start
She'd come for a star
Might have told my imagination not to run too far
Of all the times that I've been burned
By now you'd think I'd have learned
That it's who you look like
Not who you are

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring
When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

So..... what are your 3???

fp

[GMichael]

Maybe not about it, but "Captain Jack" mentions it.

[Stone]

According to the band, that "one song" is not about masturbation after all. I'm not sure I believe it.

Also, "Darling Nikki" by Prince mentions it.

[ForeverAutumn]

Oh, well if we're talking about songs that just mention it....there's Longview by Green Day.

[MindGoneHaywire]

The Who--Pictures Of Lily

[shokhead]

Cum over and bend me by the wee weenies.

[GMichael]

I don't need anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.
Not to be mixed up with Weird Al's,
I don't need anybody else, 'cause I'm double jointed, I kiss myself.

[JohnMichael]

I don't need anybody else. When I think about you I touch myself.
Not to be mixed up with Weird Al's,
I don't need anybody else, 'cause I'm double jointed, I kiss myself.



GMichael I knew you would have a tight grip on the subject.

Sorry that was bad and I won't delete any paybacks you send my way.

[JohnMichael]

Maybe not about it, but "Captain Jack" mentions it.


Good song. I will have to paly that album next.

[Davey]

Always surprising how many big 80s songs were about pleasing oneself. Some pretty big hits too, like some already mentioned, and

She Bop - Cyndi Lauper
Blister in the Sun - The Violent Femmes
Dancin' with Myself - Billy Idol

and maybe not as big a hit and a little earlier, but always loved Pump It Up by Elvis Costello http://www.freethought-forum.com/forum/images/smilies/_fapfapfap__by_Plankhead.gif

[GMichael]

GMichael I knew you would have a tight grip on the subject.

Sorry that was bad and I won't delete any paybacks you send my way.

Sorry, no paybacks yet. You still have extra points in the bank.

Ever catch yourself with the other hand? It's kinda like cheating on yourself, with yourself. And don't just drag yourself in there and do it. Make a night of it, bring yourself flowers, take yourself out to dinner. And a thank you card the next day never hurts (no punn intended I'm sure).

Thank you George Carlin.

[MindGoneHaywire]

Always surprising how many big 80s songs were about pleasing oneself.

As decades go, the lay/wank ratio didn't seem that great.

Did the Circle Jerks have any self-love ditties? It is mentioned in 'What's Your Problem...'

[-Jar-]

"Pink Thing" by XTC.

Though this song is more about the "object" and not the "verb"

-jar

[richmon]

What's the ultimate insult ?
You're master baiting and your hand falls asleep!

Aren't Frankie goes to Hollywood 'Relax' and Devo's 'whip it' about that? Or am I sick and twisted. Don't answer that.

[GMichael]

Michael Jackson's Beat it?

[JohnMichael]

Michael Jackson's Beat it?



If only he followed his own advice he would not have had all those troubles.

[Rock&Roll Ninja]

All revved up with no place to go - Meatloaf
Spiel Mit Mir - Rammstein
Wynonna's big brown beaver - Primus
Safety Dance - Men Without Hats

[DariusNYC]

"Pink Thing" by XTC.

Though this song is more about the "object" and not the "verb"

-jar

I always thought that song was about Andy Partidge's baby. Can an XTC expert weigh in?

[Davey]

I always thought that song was about Andy Partidge's baby.
And I always thought "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" was inspired by a drawing Julian did about his friend Lucy. Imagine my shock when it was pointed out to me that there may have been an illicit drug reference hidden in there http://forums.audioreview.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

[GMichael]

And I always thought "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" was just about a drawing Julian did of his friend Lucy. Imagine my shock when it was pointed out to me that there may have been an illicit drug refernce hidden in there http://forums.audioreview.com/images/icons/icon12.gif

Huh? No....... Say it aint so....!

[Troy]

Sandy Koufax- Yazbek
My Best Friend- Jellyfish

I always thought Pink Thing was about a baby too . . .

[jrhymeammo]

And I always thought "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" was inspired by a drawing Julian did about his friend Lucy. Imagine my shock when it was pointed out to me that there may have been an illicit drug reference hidden in there http://forums.audioreview.com/images/icons/icon12.gif


John Lennon absolutely denied that song had LSD reference. I think he said it was about a drawing his son made. It had a lady up in a sky and said her name was Lucy. So John wrote a song about it while Yoko............. well she was Yoko.

[Davey]

So John wrote a song about it while Yoko............. well she was Yoko.
Well, not to get too picky, but I don't think Yoko came along until a bit later. The whole point is that sure, songs can be inspired by anything and it's a nice backstory with the drawing and the girl with diamonds and all, but John Lennon was a very bright guy and so I'm sure he intentionally wove those images from his son, and from Alice In Wonderland, and from his own strange trips, in a way that would leave it open to interpretation. I mean, even Paul thinks it's about LSD :)

Same with Pink Thing. Who'd seriously call their newborn "pink thing" unless they were just trying to be cute and coy? Have you read the lyrics?

<i>I want to take you out and show you to the girls

When I stroke your head I feel a hundred heartbeats high

Don't you think it's time you met some female pink thing?

So why is it I'm happy when there's tears down in your eye?</i>

[Troy]

Sure, Pink Thing is clearly a double meaning, purely intentional. XTC did that a lot, "My Bird can Sing", "Knuckle Down" etc.

Pink Thing always reminded me of that 50s Ames Brothers gem "The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane" cuz it had the same sorta tone.

[Dusty Chalk]

Aren't Frankie goes to Hollywood 'Relax' and Devo's 'whip it' about that? Or am I sick and twisted. Don't answer that.I don't think they're about masturbating so much as just plain about having sex. Maybe kinky sex, but not solo sex.
According to the band, that "one song" is not about masturbation after all. I'm not sure I believe it.Which one? The Vapors one? Yeah, it is, I don't care if they deny it.

[BradH]

Sure, Pink Thing is clearly a double meaning, purely intentional. XTC did that a lot, "My Bird can Sing", "Knuckle Down" etc.

Here's Andy Partridge:

"Harry was called Pink Thing when he was born but I love my d!ck and I'm not afraid to tell people. So it's about both."

Any questions?

Re: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

Julian brought home a picture he drew in school. John saw it and the conversation went something like this:

Who's that?

My friend, Lucy.

What are those?

Diamonds.

Lennon titled it like the old masters, "Vase in the Sun with Fruit" or whatever. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, no acronym intended. I never heard McCartney say it stood for LSD, just the opposite. He tells the same story as Lennon. It's dumb to think they would lie about this song for years when, just a few months after Sgt. Pepper's, McCartney admitted to the press he had taken LSD. Also, Paul has no problem stating "Got To Get You Into My Life" was about marijuana.

Here's Lucy. Notice the similarity to the cover for Walls And Bridges, another of Julian's school drawings.

[Dusty Chalk]

It's dumb to think they would lie about this song for years when, just a few months after Sgt. Pepper's, McCartney admitted to the press he had taken LSD.Have you heard the song lately? Maybe they took so much drugs, that they forgot they put in a subliminal reference to it.

[BradH]

Have you heard the song lately? Maybe they took so much drugs, that they forgot they put in a subliminal reference to it.

Maybe the first sympton of having been abducted by a UFO is that you deny it.

[Stone]

Which one? The Vapors one? Yeah, it is, I don't care if they deny it.

Yup. That be the one.

[Davey]

Re: Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

I never heard McCartney say it stood for LSD, just the opposite.
"A song like 'Got to Get You Into My Life,' that's directly about pot, although everyone missed it at the time," McCartney said.

"'Day Tripper,' that's one about acid (LSD). 'Lucy in the Sky,' that's pretty obvious. There's others that make subtle hints about drugs, but, you know, it's easy to overestimate the influence of drugs on the Beatles' music."

McCartney Interview (http://media.www.dailytexanonline.com/media/storage/paper410/news/2004/06/03/Entertainment/Mccartney.On.Beatles.Wings.And.Getting.High.With.A .Little.Help.From.His.Friends-684274.shtml?sourcedomain=www.dailytexanonline.com&MIIHost=media.collegepublisher.com)

[BradH]

John Lennon absolutely denied that song had LSD reference.

Ah, here's the confusion. I read too much into that. What Lennon denied was the title was an acronym for LSD but It's an acid song, just like Yellow Submarine. Most acid songs didn't have direct references to the drug itself.

Let's see, today on RR we've covered acid, masturbation and classical music. That's a helluva combination...I guess.

For the record, I have never been abducted by a UFO.

But I think it's a very probing issue.

[Davey]

But I think it's a very probing issue.
Kind of like that Frankie Goes To Hollywood song our old buddy richmon mentioned up above. Relax. Yeah, I doubt he was singing about a UFO experience, but I do think there was some probing on his mind. Not that there's anything wrong with that ...

[hifitommy]

from the 60s!

[Mr Peabody]

Who does that song that goes "I touch myself"? If's a female singer but I dont' think it was the Bengals. "I don't want anyone else, when I think of you, I touch myself"

How about that song Sledge Hammer? Talking about tough love.

[hifitommy]

why am i proud that i know this stuff?

[Dusty Chalk]

...If's a female singer but I dont' think it was the Bengals...Don't you mean, "...but I don't think it was the Bangles..." :p

[SlumpBuster]

Isn't there is a goofy track at the end of Green Day's Dookie called "All by myself."

"Whip It" is definately about masterbation, "Relax" not so much.

But, best jerk off title goes to: "Miss Michigan" by Michigan's own Mustard Plug.

[Mr Peabody]

hey, hey hey..... you're not taking off for spelling are you? Is it Bangles? I thought it was spelled like the Tiger but Bangles is more fitting.

[Dusty Chalk]

hey, hey hey..... you're not taking off for spelling are you? Is it Bangles? I thought it was spelled like the Tiger but Bangles is more fitting.I thought the Bengals were a football team. And I think that particular team was an all-male outfit. But either way, I don't think it was either of them, as has already been pointed out (it was the Divinyls).

[jrhymeammo]

[QUOTE=Dusty Chalk]Have you heard the song lately? Maybe they took so much drugs, that they forgot they put in a subliminal reference to it.[/QUOTE}

That is not true at all, I havent done drugs in........ I think almost three years. My psychosis is acting up so gotta run.

[jrhymeammo]

Ok, enough about the F'in Beatles. GAWD!!!!!!

I came across a new one tonight

Mr. Bungle - The Girls of Porn

and a few others on the self-titled album.

J-Murda

[nobody]

Pictures of Lily by the Who & Orgasm Addict by the Buzzcocks spring to mind.

[salad 419]

Mr. Bungle - The Girls of Porn


Ya BEAT me to it. For some odd reason, Girls of Porn is one of my favorites.

[Mr Peabody]

[QUOTE=salad 419 I BEAT me to it. For some odd reason, Girls of Porn is one of my favorites to beat to.[/QUOTE]

was pun intended? :)

[salad 419]

Yup, pretty punny, huh?

:ihih:

[salad 419]

WAIT.

I meant one of my favorites songs by Mr. Bungle.

Damnit, now you've got me backtrackin' trying to think if I've ever .....................

So, I guess the 2nd pun wasn't intended, athough it makes for a strange conversation piece. (don't change that into a pun)

[Mr Peabody]

LOL, Yeah, it's not like back when a smoke was a smoke, and groovin was groovin

[BarryL]

Give me songs about masturbation. I can think of 3 and that's about it. I'm Japanese American so go easy on that one song............

I'm thinking of Better Off Without A Wife, from Nighthawks at the Diner. The song isn't really about masterbation, but the introduction explicitly is.

There must be more than a few from Mr. Zappa. Here's where Troy comes in useful.

[salad 419]

There must be more than a few from Mr. Zappa.

There must be, but I can only think of 1 1/2.

Disco Boy

Some cluster F@&K version of the Doors song that goes " and he walked on down the hall" (Not a Huge Doors Fan, Sorry I don't know the name of the song) on one of the You Can't Do That On Stage Anymore Volumes (I'm thinking 2 because I never owned that one)

with 73+ albums (not including bootlegs, etc) I've heard most of it and can only think of those two. I can name quite a few about body parts, plooking, BJ's, beastiality, etc, but only those two come to mind for masterbation. Maybe I'm just tired and haven't listened to any Zappa for a long time.

[Swish]

Howzabout Jackson Browne's Rosie?

She was standing at the load-in
When the trucks rolled up
She was sniffing all around
Like a half grown female pup
She wasn't hard to talk to
Looked like she had nowhere to go
So I gave her my pass
So she could get in and see the show

Well I sat her down right next to me
And I got her a beer
While I mixed that sound on stage
So the band could hear
The more I watched her watch them play
The less I could think of to say
And when they walked off stage
The drummer swept that girl away

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring
When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

Well I guess I might have known from the start
She'd come for a star
Might have told my imagination not to run too far
Of all the times that I've been burned
By now you'd think I'd have learned
That it's who you look like
Not who you are

But Rosie you're all right - you wear my ring
When you hold me tight - Rosie that's my thing
When you turn out the light - I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight Rosie

So..... what are your 3???

fp


Or did I miss in earlier one?

What's shakin' elfpee?

Swish

[bobsticks]

What does it say about the forum that this is the fourth most viewed thread in the last six months? :ihih:

For the curious it has been superceded only by "Beatles--Yes or No, Dusty's LOTW, and What is Spinning?.

[jrhymeammo]

What does it say about the forum that this is the fourth most viewed thread in the last six months? :ihih:

For the curious it has been superceded only by "Beatles--Yes or No, Dusty's LOTW, and What is Spinning?.
I'm kinda bummed out that "Songs about the Big Ladies" didnt become everyone's favorite thread. If I knew more, I would post but ah well.
Answer to your question bobsticks, I decided to say F'it ever since AR.com sold out to BestBuy(actually are they still advertising?). We promote good sound, then we see some ads by Orb Audio. Kinda goes against what everyone believes in. But, if that's gonna keep this site operational, then I guess it's not too bad... I dont know. Dont get me wrong, it's still a great place to learn about audio and gears(I still don know crap). How about starting a thread, "What *&^%$ should I buy"

JRA

[Dusty Chalk]

What does it say about the forum that this is the fourth most viewed thread in the last six months? :ihih:

For the curious it has been superceded only by "Beatles--Yes or No, Dusty's LOTW, and What is Spinning?.I think there's something weird about the counting system. It seems the longest threads have the most "hits" -- is that right? Or are they counting a hit for each post, so if you view a thread that has 53 messages, you add 53 hits to its hitcount?

[N. Abstentia]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_about_masturbation

That just about covers it :)

[jrhymeammo]

Thanks NA. looks like this thread is finally coming to an end.

after seeing the list, I wonder why no one mentioned the Decemberist?
And how the hell did Tom Green make it on to the list? Is he still alive? If he is, I'm sure he's still trying to hump some obscure animals.....


JRA

[BarryL]

Just listening to Jane Siberry's A Collection 1984-1989. You Don't Need is about masterbation. "you don't need any body...you don't need any lover...you just get it from yourself..."

[C-Z]

My favorite squid squeezing tune is the Michael Jackson, Boy George duet "I'll Beat It 4 Ya".